Unrequited Love

The subway car was empty. They found a place by the door and sat down side by side. The intermittent conversations along the way just now couldn't be found accidentally, and their arms were loosened because they just got on the car one after another. The morbidly pale energy-saving lamp light shone on their faces. In a closed car, the light gave people the illusion that time had stopped.

Luo Zhi never rejected silence, let alone imagined it as a form of embarrassment, indifference or confrontation. It’s just that Xu Riqing is obviously not good at getting along in silence. Luo Zhi can see from the opposite glass that she is a little cramped, constantly fiddle with the pitch-black Qi Liu Haier in front of him, like a shattered beaded curtain, opening and closing. , Then open, then close...

"There are so few people today." Xu Riqing finally said.

"Yes," Luo Zhi nodded. She also wanted to find some topic to at least ease the tension of the girls around her, but she searched her stomach and returned to no avail, "There are so few people..."

After speaking, she felt a little guilty.

The train started again, and the sound of wind pulsing on both sides of the corridor poured into them, and they had no words for each other.

The Ditan Park was a bit disappointing for Luo Zhi, and large pink and green banners were pulled up between the street trees over the bustling crowd. The stall owners sat on the small stools with indifferent faces. While the women sold grilled squid, grilled sesame cakes and herbal tea, they turned around and cursed the mud monkeys who were running happily in the wild, and the colorful flowers wrapped around their heads. Her triangle scarf and the large banner contrasted with each other...Luo Zhi stepped on the yellow plastic bag on the ground. This scene made her cheek cramped.

She also came here admiringly, but she didn't catch up with the sad depression described by Shi Tiesheng. There is no residual snow on the fence, no setting sun in the sky, and a harmonious atmosphere, which is really not suitable for feeling.

She did not catch up with the good time. No matter what, she will always take a slow shot and miss the best time.

At least Shi Tiesheng has caught up, she thought, that kind of time is enough for such people. She neither needed nor understood anyway.

Luo Zhi became more and more convinced that in the future, when meeting with unfamiliar people, he must choose a lively place, so that the heat around him can cover his desertedness, which is good for others and himself. The two of them squeezed around in the crowd, in order to prevent separation, they kept calling each other to keep up with each other, and from time to time asked each other what kind of book they were interested in... Xu Riqing naturally grabbed Luo Zhi's Hands, neither of them wore gloves, and her hands were not much warmer than Luo Zhi.

"I always forget to wear gloves. Do you too?" She turned her head and smiled at Luo Zhi. Luo Zhi just wanted to answer, but when he saw Xu Riqing smiling, he lowered his head and turned away.

Luo Zhi went in without a name, and followed her against the flow of people and squeezed for a long time before remembering that Zhang Mingrui had an oolong conversation with them about gloves that day in front of the newsstand.

Even though Zhang Mingrui naturally resolved the moment of embarrassment, which girl is not as careful as a hair? How could Xu Riqing not understand.

The two cold hands are tightly clasped together, and when the mountain is boundless, I am afraid it will not be warm.

Xu Riqing bought a bunch of extracurricular reading materials for law majors, packed a schoolbag, and had a heavy plastic bag in his hand. Luo Zhi spent a long time around, but only bought a copy of "Quotations from Chairman Mao."

"Why do you buy this?" Xu Riqing put the plastic bag on the ground, rubbed the red stamped right hand, and took a look.

"I don't know why I bought it." Luo Zhi flipped through it gently, for fear of tearing the yellowed old book with too much force, "maybe because it is old enough. I rarely buy used books."

It is indeed a sufficiently old book, the outer cover has been worn away, only the title of the inner page remains. Each page contains the master's handwriting, red or blue pencil, as serious as a schoolboy, and many "Lin Biao" on a certain page are heavily crossed with black pens.

"I think this kind of book has magical powers. Maybe one night, the soul of the former master will come to me in a dream."

"Haha," Xu Riqing was very touching when he laughed, "What kind of messy thoughts are in my head. I thought you would buy a lot of books, I heard that you like reading books."

"Well," Luo Zhi nodded, "However, I still like to buy new books."

She remembered that Sheng Huainan used his half-hearted psychological knowledge to analyze her virgin complex.

Luo Zhi tried to drive away these lingering thoughts, looked down at Xu Riqing's huge schoolbag and plastic bag, and contributed his own schoolbag: "Come on, divide your book half here, and I will help you hold it."

Xu Riqing smiled embarrassedly and said, "Okay."

Finally walked out of the park, it was already 3:30 in the afternoon. They didn't eat anything at noon, turned the corners around, and finally stood blankly on the street with a heavy bag.

"Hungry." Luo Zhi felt his stomach.

"Go back to school to eat, or look for it nearby?" Xu Riqing said, and suddenly slapped his hands in surprise, "By the way, I suddenly remembered that there should be a Sanyuan Meiyuan store nearby? I want to eat. Almond tofu."

Luo Zhi nodded blankly and said, "Okay, you show the way."

The sky is getting late, and the sky is blue and purple. The bleak Beijing winter always reminds Luo Zhi of the years when she was a child when she ran around with her mother for a living. When the sun was completely down, she would feel a chill in her heart, a kind of wanting to cry but not Feelings of sorrow filled the whole body, and would not disappear until night fell. Even though she was still young, and even today she still cannot understand this yearning and fear for dusk, this feeling still hits her every dusk and never missed the appointment.

"What's the matter?" Xu Riqing stopped, looking at Luo Zhi who was a little bit unconscious.

"Nothing." Luo Zhi grinned, followed her and continued to move forward.

Xu Riqing's sense of direction was terribly poor. They went around in vain panting like migrant workers dragging cement bags, and finally saw the red and yellow plaque at the bustling intersection.

"I see, the red and yellow one, right?" Xu Riqing pointed to the front excitedly.

"McDonald's?"

Xu Riqing strangled Luo Zhi's neck with his free right arm: "I tell you, China's national industry was driven to ruin by your group of people!"

Luo Zhi solemnly nodded and nodded like a pigeon in the square foraging.

Xu Riqing ate a small bowl and put it down.

"Have you eaten?" Luo Zhi raised his head and asked.

"It's not as delicious as expected. Don't eat it." She pouted slightly, like the proud and beautiful eldest lady in the idol drama. Luo Zhi squinted his eyes to look at her, feeling that he couldn't see enough, every angle was very beautiful-not so beautiful, but just very beautiful.

So she also nodded: "In fact, the altar of earth is not as I imagined..." She thought for a long time, but did not find a suitable word to describe it. "It's not that good." In the end, I had to use the simple and versatile word "good".

Xu Riqing was surprised: "Then what do you think the Temple of Earth should look like?"

Luo Zhi didn't know what to say, lowered his head and smiled in silence.

"Why are you such a person?"

Luo Zhi looked at the girl in front of him with his mouth slightly open when he heard the words, and the other side looked at her with his cheeks, with a look of inquiry and puzzlement like himself.

"What kind of person am I?"

Xu Riqing shook his head, "You are so different from when we first met."

"When we first met..." At the request of Zhang Mingrui that time, she played a combination of a wicked woman and a close sister. However, no matter how hard she tried to recall, her memory was a little fuzzy. What did the two of them say?

The purposeful meeting made her behavior a little distorted, and she was completely unsure of what impression Xu Riqing left.

"In fact, when I was studying with Zhang Mingrui that day, I felt that you were different from my impression. I saw it again today and found that it was even more different."

Luo Zhi wiped his forehead with his index finger, and found that his hand was shiny. She didn't know what to say in response to Xu Riqing, and the scene fell silent again. In fact, she was a little sad, knowing that the other party was trying to say something frank, she didn't want to cater to it, but she didn't know how to accept it. Along the way, they also laughed and joked from time to time, and when they talked about a certain book, they also excitedly discussed it. However, the topic was like a string of broken beads, jumping around in the silent wilderness, and occasionally picked one. , Dazzling, but lonely.

They lacked the feeling to get along with each other, and they had overlapping interests, but in the middle were two boys who tried to pretend to be invisible to each other. The coldness and silence at that time were not without reason. But Xu Riqing still worked hard, trying to find a line to connect each other.

Luo Zhi really likes this bright girl, with such a clear heart, crying when you want to cry, laughing when you want to laugh, loving when you don’t love, and not loving if you don’t. Even if you look back, you never feel embarrassed.

How good. It's a pity that no one knows how to cherish her, and he is even less qualified to regret her.

"There is something, please help me to transfer it to Zhang Mingrui." Xu Riqing took out all the books from his schoolbag and put them on the table, and finally pulled out a NIKE bag from the bottom of the schoolbag.

"I was scolded by him when I was on the tip of a bull's horn. He was so stubborn that he shook his hand and left. But before I left, he was afraid that I would catch a cold, so he put his clothes on me. Later, my relationship with him eased. Became a good friend again. I always wanted to return the clothes to him, but was afraid that the clothes reminded him of the embarrassing days when everyone fell out, so I just dragged it like this. Until now, I still haven't returned."

Luo Zhi took the bag and said with a clattering sound: "I see."

Xu Riqing laughed: "It's so easy to be with you. You hate talking nonsense, right? I remember the first time I saw you in a coffee shop, you were quite able to speak, with a clear head and a clear structure, but I saw you later. It's so much less."

Luo Zhi smiled: "Actually, I really don't like to talk. The first time I saw you, I might just catch up with my emotional instability and talk a lot."

Xu Riqing held her cheeks to look at the night of blue and black ink, and said softly, "I have been emotionally unstable."

"It's good if I feel happy."

"But I am not happy either."

"Very few people live happily, and you didn't suffer much."

Xu Riqing smiled brightly when she heard the sound, and Luo Zhi admired it from the bottom of his heart. Who was unhappy with such a smile?

"Look, it's here again, actually you have a sharp mouth."

"I'm just assuming that you actually want to be clever." Luo Zhi smiled helplessly.

Xu Riqing raised her mouth and raised her eyebrows slyly. His left hand had been using a small spoon to ravage the crushed almond tofu in the bowl. He was silent for a while, and then said, "Zhang Mingrui is a very good boy."

Luo Zhi nodded.

"I think I didn't live up to his teaching at the beginning. When Sheng Huainan rejected me, I've been very hard to extricate myself. But Zhang Mingrui also rejected me during the final exam. I learned my lesson and I got away quite simply this time."

Luo Zhi praised the refreshing statement.

At the beginning of Hua Deng, Xu Riqing seemed to be a lonely monologue in a literary and artistic film. He didn't need Luo Zhi's feedback at all, and he just spoke with himself.

"I'm not sure if you already knew about my fallout with Zhang Mingrui. You didn't ask anything, as if you knew everything, you made me feel guilty. So I always feel that everyone knows about my ugly thing."

Luo Zhi lowered his head and smiled. What an ugly thing.

It can dry the sad things that are not afraid of people knowing in the sun, no matter how hard it is, it will be clean and bright. You know, how many people in this world have unspeakable sadness?

"Hehe, anyway, I hit the south wall twice this year, but I didn't have three problems. If I hit the south wall again, I wrote the word'Xu' backwards!"

After the domineering declaration, Xu Riqing's voice still softened: "I always think I am good, everyone thinks I am good, why I like two people, and each of them is so wrong that it can't be wrong? You know At the beginning, I liked Sheng Huainan and I was angry with Zhang Mingrui. I told him that I like to hit the south wall and had nothing to do with him. I told him to stay away from me. He was not convinced at the time and said, of course It has nothing to do with him. I was stupid and went with it by myself! As a result, I didn't expect it to be true, it was indeed my own. Zhang Mingrui fell in love with others so quickly."

"I thought at the time that the supporting actors in the story who have been waiting for the heroine's infatuation to change are all deceptive. They are lying to me like an idiot who eats a bowl and looks at the pot. Running bravely. Go to the pot, even if it fails, at least there is a bowl of porridge in hand to eat.

"Actually, I am too good at it."

Xu Riqing's eyes were shining, facing the orange street lamp outside the window and the neon on the plaque, shining brightly.

Luo Zhi silently stretched out his hand, covering the back of her cold hand.

"Zhang Mingrui likes you, Luo Zhi." She said.

Luo Zhi looked at her calmly, without nodding or shaking his head, no surprise and no clarity, Gu Jing Wubo. They looked at each other for a long time, and Xu Riqing turned his head first. After that, there was nothing to say. After sitting for a while, Luo Zhi said: "I'm finished, let's go."

When the pale lights of the subway car swayed above his head, Xu Riqing beside him was so tired that he fell asleep, leaning heavily on Luo Zhi's shoulder, and the calm pink cheeks were so beautiful that they shouldn't sigh.

At the door of Xu Riqing's dormitory, Luo Zhi took out his own "Quotations from Chairman Mao" in the plastic bag, handed the whole bag to Xu Riqing, and said, "Goodbye then."

"Ok."

When Luo Zhi left, I heard Xu Riqing asking clearly behind his back: "Luo Zhi, you said, I will become good friends with you?"

She thought for a while and asked, "Do you have many friends?"

Xu Riqing nodded affirmatively, and made an affirmative answer that matched her cheerful smile: "Of course."

So not bad for me. Luo Zhi nodded safely and said: "I think it is difficult for us to be friends. Even though I like you very very much, I'm serious."

She thought, she finally said a very candid word to Xu Riqing.

Xu Riqing was stunned for a moment. She did not expect that the other party did not respond with the same enthusiasm as most people said: "Of course, aren't we friends now?"-She was a little unwilling, but at the same time because of this sentence Feeling relieved to be honest.

"It's fine if you like me. At least there are people who like me." She still laughed the most. "Seriously, Luo Zhi, I have only recently realized that if I can be nice to the person who loves me, I will not hate me. Stay farther and never try to please and explain. Will I get more?"

She waved her hand in and left, her pockets were too heavy, making her back look a little awkward.

Luo Zhi walked alone on the small road and was about to go back to the dormitory. When the phone vibrated, it was Xu Riqing's text message.

"Don't look back too late like me. Either early or never."

Luo Zhi didn't know what to reply. She may be telling herself not to repeat her mistakes about Zhang Mingrui. Luo Zhi felt a little touched: "Take a good rest, silly girl, tomorrow's affairs, tomorrow."

After a long time, Xu Riqing replied: "You are right. Tomorrow is a brand new day. Please don't worry about me."

The last little clause is a little bit affectionate, but it is undoubtedly confident and lovely. Luo Zhi couldn't help but like Xu Riqing.

But it must also be admitted that she has never worried about each other.

A girl with such a dazzling smile fell down, crying and making trouble, and many people coaxed her to love her.

She still has many tomorrows.

Luo Zhi raised his head, and the night sky was a bit gloomy, dark red, and drooping, like the looming doomsday, suppressing the unexplainable pain.

tomorrow. Every day in Luo Zhi's life was the same as the day before and after it, without any difference.