Unrequited Love

Sheng Huainan gave up the idea of ​​searching for the big water method, found a large flat rock by the lake and sat down with Luo Zhi. After thinking about it, he took out all the wine in his schoolbag and stood on the ground, and put the flat empty schoolbag. Passed it to her: "Sit on the cushion, just get drunk here and you will be ready."

Luo Zhi smiled lightly: "Okay."

He picked up a bottle of Red Star Erguotou, and found it could not be opened after a long time toss, smiled bitterly, picked up a can of beer, "slapped" the tab and handed it to Luo Zhi.

They clink glasses, but don't know what toast to say, they just smile at each other. Luo Zhi felt cold, but his heart was warm, as if living in the gentle village of the wasteland.

"Do you know when I saw you for the first time?" He raised his head and took a sip of wine. When he spoke again, his voice was astringent. Luo Zhi intuitively felt that what she would hear might be something he had said was difficult, and subconsciously grabbed the hem of his clothes, raised his head, and gave him a wide look.

Sheng Huainan smiled gratefully.

Luo Zhi remembered that the first time he recognized that he was at the entrance of the supermarket that day, he and Xu Riqing pulled and pulled, and she made a move to relieve the siege, like a magic soldier.

"Actually speaking, I'm really fortunate that I have never forgotten people." Sheng Huainan said.

In the summer vacation after the college entrance examination, he went to the hotel to pick up Ye Zhanyan during the last gathering of the liberal arts class. People were already walking sparsely. Ye Zhanyan was still sitting by the window. Seeing him coming, he suddenly pointed at a girl in a white shirt who was crossing the road outside the window and said, "Hey, that is the legendary Luo Zhi, what do you think? ?"

The legend, how can I not know? What is "how do I look"?

Sheng Huainan smelled the alcohol on Ye Zhanyan, thinking that she was really confused, and hurriedly glanced in the direction she pointed. At exactly this time someone called "Luo Zhi", and the girl turned her head.

He shrugged and said, "It's okay, why do you ask this?"

Ye Zhanyan smiled suddenly, that smile was completely different from the smile he was familiar with before, somehow it was actually very sad.

"Very good, right? I think it's good too." Ye Zhanyan burst into tears after speaking.

He was confused and forgot to correct her. He just said it was okay. He couldn't even see his nose and eyes from such a distance. What could he say? Sheng Huainan quickly took out a tissue to wipe her tears, she just said repeatedly: "It's really good, it's really good... You see, you are going to such a far place soon, so far away from me. "

That fragile look made him feel strange and distressed. He hugged her from behind, but didn't know what to say. He just rubbed his chin on top of her head and said, "Fool."

Luo Zhi was silent, solemn in his heart, a cold wind blew her face, like the invisible hand of fate, cold but pity.

Sheng Huainan didn't know that it would be the last time he saw Ye Zhanyan. For the next month, they could only be contacted by SMS and phone. His mother completely controlled his leisure time, first sent him to Hong Kong for a five-day tour, and then ordered him to accompany his cousin to the Maldives for more than a week, and then his father’s friends in Shanghai invited him to go to his home. The child tutored the third grade math, and his parents agreed. He was helpless, but at the same time he felt that it was better to follow his parents' wishes before leaving home. However, when it was time to report to Beijing, the family went to the airport to see him. Ye Zhanyan was naturally inconvenient to show up-it was absurd and helpless, he had never seen her again.

They broke up before returning home during the winter break of the first semester of the freshman year, and they have no contact since then.

That day, at the entrance of the supermarket, when Sheng Huainan called out Luo Zhi's name to relieve himself, what he remembered was Ye Zhanyan, who was weeping inexplicably.

Luo Zhi couldn't laugh or cry.

The last time he saw Ye Zhanyan, Mingming seemed to be specifically to introduce Luo Zhi. But the first time he met Luo Zhi, he was full of Ye Zhanyan.

She has her unknowns in her heart, and his sadness and twists in his mind.

"The first time you drank coffee with me, you saw that I...I'm...interesting to you, right?"

Luo Zhi still couldn't utter the three words "I like you", so he could only stammer twice and vaguely passed the nondescript "interesting".

Sheng Huainan's beer stopped: "Do you want to hear the truth or lies?"

"lie."

"Where can I be so passionate."

Luo Zhi laughed loudly.

In all fairness, the first chat with Luo Zhi at the coffee shop made Sheng Huainan very happy. In his opinion, Luo Zhi didn't show the kind of enthusiasm that bored him and deliberately covered it with highness. On the contrary, she is natural and has no trace.

"Are you pretending?"

"Well, most of it," Luo Zhi felt her own changes more and more. It seems that the tempering of this period of time has taught her true calmness and self-confidence, "I will choose to pretend once again."

"Amazing," he smiled appreciatively, his eyes touching the distant night sky, and asked faintly, "You think this mentality is considered narcissism?"

Luo Zhi shook his head: "But you didn't guess wrong."

Sheng Huainan raised his head to pour the last sip of beer, and dizzyly picked up another can.

Back then, he confessed by text message, and then went to the door of the liberal arts class to find Ye Zhanyan. She asked: "How do you know that I can accept your confession?" He laughed and said, "I know you like me at first glance."

I know at a glance that you like me. In this sentence, he had frowned and slandered many times at all kinds of girls who had found excuses to strike up a conversation with. Although his emotional experience is blank, just like he can tell which pickpockets are in the train station without having to steal something, a glance is enough for some things.

But when Ye Zhanyan said this, he was a little bit unconfident and panicked. The other party blushed suddenly and said, "You... don't be so narcissistic."

At that time, the classmates of their class were lying at the door looking at them gossipingly, occasionally making a noise, Sheng Huainan was not bored at all. He has never hated being interfered with in his own affairs. The crowd watching that day, because he was in a good mood, was regarded as a witness of happiness.

"Yeah, I hardly guessed that I missed it." He chuckled, saying almost, thinking about it all.

Luo Zhi took the last sip of beer and choked. The beer flowed down the corner of her mouth a little bit. Before she raised her hand, Sheng Huainan had wiped it off with the back of her hand. He seems to be a little drunk, his face is red, his eyes are erratic, and his movements are not light or heavy.

Luo Zhi's face was burning up, and he moved aside unconsciously.

Sheng Huainan refused to let her ask about Ye Zhanyan, but he kept saying it himself. She knew that he must be unhappy because of Ye Zhanyan, but he didn't feel jealous at all.

"Hey, let me ask you..." Luo Zhi raised his eyes as he spoke, and suddenly saw a white cloud wrapped around the moon in the clear night sky, high and far away, as thin as a veil. The moonlight is hidden behind the clouds, and the whole body glows like a glaze.

The sun will be hazy and the sky will rain, and the moon will be hazy in the noon.

At that moment, it seemed that everything was gone, and she stared at the lone cloud in the sky, as if plunged into the smoke of the past.

That's it, she promised not to ask, she didn't ask again.

They drank the wine in silence, and gradually warmed up, until Sheng Huainan lowered his head in a daze, shook his head, and leaned against her shoulder.

Luo Zhi sighed softly in his heart.

How can this amount of alcohol be reliable!

She had heard that he had a bad drinking capacity, and all kinds of gossip about classmates gathering after the college entrance examination, as long as it was related to him, she had heard about it, so she laughed in her heart when he wanted to buy strong alcohol. Although he said he was afraid that he was different from what she had heard, she never heard it wrong.

Thinking about this, she took off her scarf and wrapped it around his head a few times, like a nurse who was not good at bandaging, protecting his red ears.

"You don't know how angry I was when I received a text message from that little girl."

His tone was vague, like a child.

"Mutual each other, you make me very angry." She said and drank, thinking of the raincoat, she felt a bit gnashing her teeth.

"But," he raised his head to look at her with loose eyes, "I followed you that night, and you were under the street lamp, and said very frankly, I do like you. I found that what you said was true, really to me... Interesting," he also avoided the words "like" and "secret love" that often made her angry. He raised his hand and tapped on his chest lightly and repeatedly. "Here, here is like a spoonful of warm water. Come down."

Luo Zhi couldn't laugh or cry, thinking of his dislike of Chinese classes, knowing that this kind of description was really difficult for him. However, every word hit her tympanic membrane, fingers trembling slightly.

"I thought at the time that although Ye Zhanyan loves to play temper, she will definitely not harm others by lying."

Luo Zhi listened quietly.

"But I can't bear you." He said bluntly.

Actually just reluctant.

Reluctant that the girl who once watched him smile with bright eyes disappeared, and when she passed by, she was as alienated and cold as a stranger.

Even if she is vicious and cunning and hidden, even if she is despicable, as long as she loves him.

A piece of ice in Luo Zhi's heart burst and collapsed, and his eyes suddenly became red.

She finally understood where she had been wrong. It turns out that she was alone in this long-lasting silent secret love for too long. She is familiar with every kind of sadness and disguise, but never understands that in the emotional world of two people, the final word is not the wisdom of the heart, nor the appreciation of the equal. , And it's not a desperate look up.

It is distressed and pity.

It was in a dilemma, that little bit of helpless reluctance.

Just as she once sarcastically sneered at him: "How can things that are unmatched have nothing to do with relatives."

"It's really good or bad, narcissist." Her heart was warm, but her voice was very cold.

"No," he struggled, correcting with his tongue out, "I am definitely intellectually clear."

Emotionally but I don't know good or bad.

Her tearful laughter was carried away by the wind.

Sheng Huainan slowly fell asleep leaning on her. Luo Zhi didn't feel that it was a pity that they did not find those "unimportant" broken walls. The left shoulder was heavy and shaky, she hesitated for a few moments, and finally lifted her left hand gently to embrace his shoulder.

Why it seems to be upside down. She laughed in her heart.

Time whizzed away like a night breeze, she hugged him, looked at the cloud at the end of the lake, and felt calm in her heart.

She didn't care about what they talked about, and how many lumps still remained unresolved.

The soul returned to the body.

I don't know how long it took, Luo Zhi with a sore shoulder heard Sheng Huainan cough twice, and tried to sit up straight, looking forward in confusion: "What time is it?"

Luo Zhi rubbed his shoulders, stood up with difficulty, picked up the schoolbag under his butt, patted and handed it to him: "I don't know, let's go back."

She refused to go to the front door or go to the garden security guards. She would rather go over the wall again. After Sheng Huainan woke up, he was quite awake, put his big hand on her shoulder, and knocked her guiltily.

When they returned the same way, Sheng Huainan still pushed her **** and sent her to the fence.

She sat on it calmly, like a proud queen, letting the wind mess her hair, she did not care, but held her head high and looked at the white belly of the east. Sheng Huainan quickly turned up and sat down next to her. The two of them didn't speak, and their four legs were dangling in the sky like a drunk boatman shaking his oars.

The little finger of his left hand touched the back of her hand. Luo Zhi's heartbeat suddenly went too fast.

The next second, his breath overwhelmed her. When the tooth hit the tooth, she laughed, looking over his reddish face and frustrated brow.

The first ray of sunlight reached out from behind her hand, warming the boy's face. Luo Zhi looked over his head with the fluffy gold rim, and the sky to the west was bright and blank. She couldn't find the moon covered with clouds.

Every cloud is missing.

Every moon does not end.