Unrequited Love

Luo Zhi heard that Sheng Huainan had dropped out of school, and never saw him again.

As soon as the final exam was over, she went to that law firm for an internship and did not go home for the entire summer vacation.

Because the location of the internship is far from the school and the transportation is inconvenient, she has to get up at 6 o'clock in the morning every day, put on a little makeup, put on a formal attire on a hot day, and step on high heels that are not very comfortable, and rush in like a soldier. The crowded subway, like canned sardines, were transported to Xidan, and as the turbulent crowds stepped onto the ground, they saw the sky again.

That is a completely different life. She has been a student for more than ten years and is very familiar with all the skills and difficulties. However, from now on, she needs to become another person in a short time, with a different way of thinking, a different way of getting along, and everything.

The strange thing is that I usually study at school all day, and I can still read interesting books at night. However, in the office, beside the immediate boss, even if the work is not difficult, the nerves are always tense, every minute is filled with trivial things, and a whole todolist (to-do list) is installed in the brain. It will be automatically filtered every few minutes. By the time he trek all the way back to the dormitory, his mind was already up, except for the mentally handicapped TV series and variety shows, he didn't want to do any other activities that used brain cells.

Tired like a leaky robot.

This is naturally a great thing for her.

She actually relied on the dullness and fatigue caused by this job to resist the surging memories and cranky thoughts.

Zhu Yan assured her, so she was really relieved. If there was a big rock hanging in my heart, then when it hit the apex of my heart so badly, it rolled over with pain, but it was at ease, and I no longer have to look up in confusion.

The internship did not end until the beginning of the third year of the university. She still went to the law firm three days a week, of which Saturday and Sunday afternoons would definitely work. While taking a double degree in law, Luo Zhi carefully calculated whether he wanted to review the CPA and judicial examinations. These two exams are generally recognized as having high difficulty, and it is better for her to prepare early.

In this way, I worked overtime, too busy to be distracted, as if going back to a year ago in a trance.

It is early autumn again, and the persimmon tree overhead is ready for another harvest. Life reincarnates in such a safe manner. The persimmon tree will never be saddened by the joys and sorrows that have been staged under the shade of the green leaves. It never cares about who it has passed through, and what kind of acquaintance and parting it has experienced.

Luo Zhi also met Zheng Wenrui when he was taking a double degree in law.

Luo Zhi did not understand at first that Sheng Huainan had already dropped out of school, why Zheng Wenrui would still appear in this class; turning around to think about it and relieved that Sheng Huainan may not be the focus of Zheng Wenrui's entire life, although her attention and understanding of him has been At the level of abnormality, no one can use the three words "Sheng Huainan" to explain everything about Zheng Wenrui.

Maybe it was really out of the original intention to get this double degree, she thought.

As the midterm exam approached, Luo Zhi walked to the edge of the podium after class to listen to the professors in the crowd answering questions. A girl squeezed out of it and slammed into her shoulder. She was looking up and copying the case written by the professor on the blackboard. She had no time to look at the girl and said hurriedly, "I'm sorry."

"con man."

Luo Zhi lowered his head and copied two more words before realizing that he was being scolded. When he turned his head to look, Zheng Wenrui's figure had disappeared at the door.

She called her a liar.

Luo Zhi finally realized the reason why Zheng Wenrui sent her an old mail from February to her on a bland night in July.

She said: "He treats you sincerely, as long as you know it in your heart."

At that time, Zheng Wenrui must have known the news of Sheng Huainan's degree cancellation. She wanted Luo Zhi to be touched and guilty, and she would never give up.

However, the disappearance of Sheng Huainan proved Zheng Wenrui's inner thoughts after all. Luo Zhi is a liar, so is Ye Zhanyan, and so is Xu Riqing. Everyone is a liar. Everyone only likes the glamorous side of Shenghuai Nan. Only Zheng Wenrui loves his gloomy hypocrisy and all the embarrassment.

Zheng Wenrui can not get Sheng Huainan, but Zheng Wenrui's love for Sheng Huainan must be 100% first.

Luo Zhi wrote quickly in the notebook, while silently paying tribute to her paranoia in his heart.

On Singles' Day, Zhang Mingrui invited her out to celebrate the festival together.

"Have a meal, and then go and sing all night together. There are about sixteen or seven people, how about it?"

"It doesn't matter if I sing all night, I have promised my roommates to go to KTV to sing together, but I have no problem eating."

In October, Luo Zhi received an email from Zhang Mingrui. The attachment is a large video file, and the fragile campus network took three hours to download. Luo Zhi clicked on the DV work, and the first second he heard the strange screams and booing of a group of boys behind the camera.

Then she saw Zhang Mingrui, riding a bicycle, throwing a handle with both hands, holding a bowl of instant noodles and eating leisurely. Every time she chatted with a girl, the buddies hiding behind the DV cheered once.

Then Luo Zhi saw himself in the video, carrying a black schoolbag, looking at Zhang Mingrui on the sidewalk, laughing while watching.

When Zhang Mingrui also looked at her, he suddenly tilted and instant noodles spilled all over his body. After the video, almost all the boys rushed towards him, and the picture became shaky as they ran. The cameraman ran to Zhang Mingrui and slapped him and the bicycle on the ground. Everyone was screaming and laughing. For a moment, the camera was aimed at the sky, and Luo Zhi's eyes lit up suddenly by the sun.

Then the picture became pitch black.

There was only one sentence in the email: "I found out when I was sorting things. I have seen you a long time ago. I found out."

Luo Zhi was taken aback, watched the video many, many times, and suddenly there were many things he wanted to say to himself a year ago.

But she did not reply to the email.

During the meal, Luo Zhi suddenly sighed that no matter how long the distance between them and the twists and turns she experienced, she could always talk to Zhang Mingrui happily, without embarrassment, talk about the world, if nothing happened.

"By the way, I never understand why boys are so cold about Singles' Day? Are you so afraid of the holidays?"

"No," Zhang Mingrui shook his head, "I am not afraid of this festival."

Luo Zhi nodded, and put half of the green bamboo shoots into the bone soup pot.

"I'm afraid that someone will not be too good."

She was stunned, and raised her head. Zhang Mingrui, who was opposite, spoke casually, but looked at her seriously.

Luo Zhi laughed and beckoned to the waiter: "Can you help me with some soup?"

Zhang Mingrui changed the subject and went to talk about the recently popular "Lust Caution". It was originally a ghostly smile. When Luo Zhi said that he was crying very seriously, he couldn't help but retreat and shouted that the girl was really abnormal.

After dinner, Luo Zhi planned to say goodbye to him, but Zhang Mingrui took her to the door of Haagen-Dazs.

"When I asked you to eat for the first time, we went to DQ, right?"

"Yes, to be precise, DQ is my pick, you see how empathetic I am."

"Then add Haagen-Dazs today. Although everyone says it is a foreign supermarket product, it is a bit expensive."

"I don't think it tastes better than DQ."

"But the brand is so popular," Zhang Mingrui said pretentiously, "If you love her, take her to eat Haagen-Dazs."

"What?" Luo Zhi smiled, "it's just a slogan."

"It may also be a confession."

Luo Zhi turned his face to look at him, Zhang Mingrui's smile didn't know when he receded from the joke. She slowly exhaled a white breath, not knowing when, there was no autumn in the bleak wind.

Winter is coming.

Luo Zhi didn't know what to say for a long time, Zhang Mingrui lowered his head, then quickly raised it again, haha ​​smiled and patted her shoulder and said: "Look at what scared you, I am teasing you."

I am teasing you.

When Luo Zhi opened the door of the KTV, Jiang Baili pointed to the crowded customers in the lobby and said, "If it wasn't for my sister to take precautions, you are now one of them."

Just booked a private room, Luo Zhi was scornful, and she didn't expect Singles Day to be so popular.

Luo Zhi heard that Chen Mohan had broken up with Gobi after all.

Not really heard. Last month, Jiang Baili sat on Luo Zhi’s bed and used a laptop to surf the Internet. When he ran out to go to the bathroom, the computer screen was still on, MSN was full screen, and a lot of Gobi’s words made it difficult for Luo Zhi to ignore it.

Thanks to Luo Zhiye, on the day Gu Zhiye disappeared, Jiang Baili, who was drunk and drenched in the rain, became seriously ill, but this time Gobi did not give her any more porridge or side dishes. After recovering from illness, Belle went to Guizhou to teach in the summer vacation, and joined a social organization that cares for AIDS patients in the new semester. Every Saturday, she also went to an elderly home in the suburbs to volunteer.

Luo Zhi once teased her and asked Jiang Baili if she was afraid to make a desperate investment and lose again, so she scattered and sealed the box and spread her love to the whole society. Jiang Baili replied very, very solemnly: "This kind of thing makes me feel at ease."

"An old grandmother I took care of is 90 years old. Whenever I have the opportunity, she will show me pictures of her wife and children and tell me about their affairs. I rehearse the chorus for them, and I will be grateful for every little thing I do for them. See the tangible results. You know, I have never had this kind of down-to-earth happiness."

Luo Zhi was not generally moved.

Although she was dragged to participate in an AIDS promotion event in Dongdan Park two weeks later, following Jiang Baili’s happy eyes, she saw a tall male volunteer, which led to Jiang Baili’s tall image in her heart. Immediately hit a 20% discount.

Before filling the world with love, Jiang Baili must first be filled with nympho.

However, when he learned that Jiang Baili had taken a leave of absence and decided to spend half a year with the boy to teach in Qinghai, Luo Zhi still agreed. Because she knows that this is not the same thing as Belle learning to smoke and studying constellations because of love. The boy has not responded to Jiang Baili so far, but the happiness that Belle gets from helping others is by no means fake. Jiang Baili's inner love will not dry up, no matter how much she suffers, she will always believe in love.

Therefore, in the face of the MSN Gobi’s dissuasion from Belle’s suspension of school, Jiang Belle only replied with four words: "I wish you happiness."

I wish you happiness.

"However, you might as well apply again when you were in your senior year. At that time, you can participate in the school's project support for one to two years, and you can change to a graduate school, which is very cost-effective." Luo Zhi laughed and teased.

"Shallow!" Jiang Baili gave her a sideways look, and got up from the jukebox with the sudden accompaniment music.

Luo Zhi looked at the girl who was occupying the microphone and shouting at "Lincoln Park" hoarsely, and recited her name silently in his heart.

Belle.

"Although the name is written very ordinary and a bit vulgar, but when you read it out, the final mouth shape of the word'li' looks pretty, like a smile."

Luo Zhi remembered that Jiang Baili used to explain each other's names shortly after the freshman year. Although Luo Zhi kept nodding, he still felt a little far-fetched.

"How about you?"

"Me? My mother's hometown has an orange orchard. It was originally called Luo Ju. It is said to be very pleasing. But it was changed by the fortune teller, saying that the low name is good to feed, so that it can survive the catastrophe."

Jiang Baili asked in a daze, "It's so amazing, what about the result?"

Luo Zhi helpless: "How old am I? Just ask me for the result."

Fortunately, it's not going to end.

But the ending? At four o'clock in the morning, Luo Zhi and Jiang Baili tremblingly supported each other across the road back to school, watching the quiet road and the three red lights that broke through the fog, Luo Zhi's numb heart beat again.

Is this the end?

Graduation, work, earn money, find a similar person, get married and have children.

Is this the end?

Luo Zhi raised his head to look at the moon in the sky, only to notice that today's moon is also hidden behind a thin cloud, with a rainbow-like faint brilliance around it.

Such a familiar moon.

However, what she remembered more clearly was that it was not Sheng Huainan, sentimentality, kisses, anything she had said that night, or the wind blowing on the fence.

It's the moon that disappears suddenly, the unknown end, the cloud that is unknown.

Luo Zhi supported Jiang Baili, who was not drinking well, while walking forward with difficulty, while suddenly chanting a poem gently and gently.

It's like being afraid to wake up a dream that has already been awakened.

It was a day in blue September,

I was under the slender shadow of a plum tree,

Hold her quietly,

My lover is like this,

Pale and silent,

It's like an eternal dream.

Above us, in the bright summer sky,

There is a cloud.

My eyes stared at it for a long time,

It is very white, very tall, and far away from us,

Then I looked up and found it was missing.

Since that day, many moons,

Moved quietly across the sky and fell.

Those plum trees were probably chopped down for firewood,

And if you ask, what happened to that relationship?

I must admit: I really can’t remember,

However I know what you are trying to say,

I don’t know what her face looks like,

All I know is: I kissed her that day.

As for the kiss, I have long forgotten,

But the cloud floating in the sky,

I still remember, never forget,

It is very white and moves in the high air.

Those plum trees may still be blooming,

That woman may have given birth to the seventh child,

However, the cloud only appeared for a few minutes,

When I looked up, it was gone.

——German poet Brecht "Remembering Marianne"