Unrequited Love

"I have never put fat on the rails of the stool, nor have I said anything like that to the hostess.

"I haven't practiced using three chopsticks to eat. It's just because I like you, I have heard of it, so I tried it.

"In the heavy rain that year, I was in the dormitory. You asked me if I was trapped by the rain, and I ran out.

"I have lied to you, I can't remember anymore. I think I should apologize to you.

"But I lied, just because I like you, and I hope you like me."

Luo Zhi hugged him tightly and pressed his cheeks against his chest. With her eyes closed, all the stories that have been deposited in her heart for many years now surface one by one, like lights, not inferior to the night of Beijing.

"Before I met you in high school, I always thought, I must be better than you, so that my mother won't get angry. I imagine you as the son of a particularly vicious villain. I have better grades than you. I have to learn. Many talents that can be displayed must be more famous and better than you in the future, so that my mother will feel that God has eyes. But the more you think about it, the more you can remember that you came to play with me at the time, and said to me, "Fengtian, I want Marry her'. What a good person you are.

"But your name still appears in newspapers and rumors. Outstanding young pioneers, outstanding class collective speaking representatives, and contest gold medals. I still remember that one day I saw in the newspaper that you participated in the Hope English Contest. In the short interview, I was so scared that I threw the whole bundle of newspapers downstairs and almost hit someone.

"Thank God, I did very well in the high school entrance examination. There is no your name in the top ten in the city. Your failure in the exam makes me happy than I did well in the exam.

"Until later, I met you.

"I know everything, but I still like you."

Sheng Huainan listened quietly, hugged her tightly, rubbed her chin against the top of her head, and said softly after listening, "Luo Zhi, I really hope I can become the Sheng Huainan you liked again. "

Luo Zhi was stunned.

She kept talking about how good the former Sheng Huainan was, and how she stubbornly approached that excellent Sheng Huainan, but she couldn't convince him that she would continue this love.

"Thank you for loving me like this."

"Not once." She corrected her voice.

"Now so. But it may not be in the future. I can't guarantee that I will still be the person you like. If you like this person now, it may not be necessary in the future. I don't want you to regret it."

She knew that what Sheng Huainan said was correct. If his family does not fall, he must go abroad to study after graduation, and she will face the barriers of family and distance. She was not afraid at that time, but now, the moat is clearly in Sheng Huainan's eyes.

She wanted to promise him, but she couldn't say it. No matter how thick the past is, it can't comfort him now.

Is it enough to say "I will always love you anyway"? There are too many people who have broken their trust.

Luo Zhi remembered what Zhu Yan said, you young people have faith because of innocence.

How she hopes that they are all innocent young people.

They were standing in the center of Beijing, with tall buildings rising from the southeast and northwest, engulfing everything with radiance.

The Gulou Street behind him is like a Y-shaped blood vessel, and the car lights are dazzling.

I don't know how many nights, how many frustrated people stood on this mountain where the emperor returned to his soul, looking at Beijing.

They didn't say anything after all.

Three days later, Sheng Huainan flew away from Beijing.

Luo Zhi did not send him off. She was sitting in the office, tumbled to adjust the PPT needed for the afternoon meeting. When she raised her head, at 10:15, the person she loved had flown away for fifteen minutes.

She didn't know how high she could fly in fifteen minutes, whether she had already passed through the clouds.

"Sheng Huainan, goodbye."

Luo Zhi murmured, telling the printer.

Luo Zhi found that he was not too sad. She has spent a whole year without Sheng Huainan. He appeared with a stunned glance, and then disappeared, like a dream one night, standing in the subway the next day after waking up, smelling the smell of leek and egg pies in the full car, it was sad like a script.

Her love was a secret at the beginning, and when the secret was revealed, the love ended.

However, on the afternoon he left, when Luo Zhi, who had finished his work, walked through the garden behind the library tiredly on high heels, he suddenly felt an indescribable dull pain on his back, following her steps. , Wobbly.

That garden was once filled with various masters, but now it is gradually emptied because of the demise of the old man. Stepping into the world separated by low walls from the bustling campus, the impetuous heat outside suddenly dissipated. The lush trees sheltered the venomous sun, and the old houses stood in the quiet past, thinking of their owners.

She used to hold hands with Sheng Huainan and walked all the way through this garden, while identifying the number of scholars and masters who lived here, talking about old news, and passing leisurely.

When Luo Zhi saw a stray cat, he leaped onto the wall and looked behind her.

So she also turned her head.

Through the low wall behind him, Luo Zhi saw a green screen door pushed open by a silver-haired grandmother, revealing a corridor that was overcrowded by the pile of books. In the yard, an old man sat on a stone bench, saw his wife coming out, stood up, walked slowly to the door with a cane, and tremblingly handed a blooming lilac.

Lilacs are as white as snow in the setting sun.

The grandma smiled slightly and took it.

Luo Zhi looked at it, and his tears blurred.

That was a professor with a double degree in her law school. During the "Cultural Revolution" period, he was the stinky nine of the intellectuals, who hurt his wife. At that time, there were so many divorced people. In that era of distorted human nature, it was possible for small individuals to do anything to avoid misfortune, and divorce was nothing.

However, Madam never agreed.

"She told me at the time that we only thought about being good for each other if we were apart, and never thought about how good it would be for two people if we were together."

When Luo Zhi heard this sentence, he took out his diary and wrote it down seriously, but Sheng Huainan sighed on the side, but it was a pity that too many people were not able to share adversity.

Luo Zhi and Sheng Huainan are just "too many people".

She traveled through more than ten years, left the entanglements of the previous generation, broke through the barrier between the soul, and finally became "too many people".

He believes that her love comes from looking up and admiring, so when he feels that he is unworthy, her love will fade. She only knows that she can't use uncertain empty promises to keep him, only knowing that begging Zhu Yan to take him away is good for him, so that he will be liked by the whole world again, even if she can never see him again.

They never imagined what would happen if they were to carry it together.

When she finally dared to promise, he was already thousands of miles away and never had the opportunity to stand up in his yard in his ancient years and hand her a flower tremblingly.

She just stared at the door of others, like a child who can't eat sugar.

"Luo Zhi."

She turned her head, and the young man who once made her miss her was standing under the mottled shadow of the tree, the shirt was scattered with sunlight, the schoolbag was thrown under her feet, and she was looking at her smiling.

She laughed like she had never left, as if she was dreaming.

Why are you here?

Luo Zhi didn't ask, she was afraid that the answer was just the cancellation of the flight and leaving tomorrow.

"I'm not leaving."

He says.

Luo Zhi plunged into his arms, sobbing. He patted her back lightly, as if laughing at her gaffe. She turned her face and saw that the two old people in the yard were also looking at them, smiling kindly and encouragingly. On the contrary, she couldn't control it and cried louder.

"When you asked me what I was doing this year, I didn't dare to answer you. In fact, after my mother recovered from illness, I went to Zhongguancun to work while preparing for the SAT. A senior I knew had always wanted to be with a friend. I started a company that specializes in student computers, but my friend went to study for an MBA. I have been helping him for more than half a year, contacting the computer associations of various schools as an intermediary, and recently I plan to help him build a website and try digital products Online sales..."

He paused: "However, this kind of thing is too risky, in my mother's eyes, it is not the right way. Of course, what she thinks is not the main thing. The main thing is, I found that in my heart, I had never thought of myself before. The prestigious schools, scholarships, and everything connected with it that you don’t mind are now shining.

"Actually, your diary is in my hand. I asked for it from the female classmate. When I was the most sad, I read it one by one, and saw the former me from the lines. I, and you. After the application has been made, I am very happy and feel that the person written in the diary has returned."

He took out the dilapidated notebook that Luo Zhi was very familiar with from his bag.

"I want to regroup in a few years and be a good person again, walking on the'right path', and give my mother some confidence. More importantly, I can stand by your side again with confidence, and you will find that there is nothing. Change, your boyfriend is still a guy who can go wherever he goes."

He made narcissistic jokes, but his eyes were all sincere.

"But before getting on the plane, I found that I can never be the one who lives with cleverness and superiority. More importantly, I want to be with you. Although I don't want to drag you down, you may not hate me. Is it a burden to you?"

Luo Zhi shook his head desperately.

"I remember the night before I went to see you, I carried a 24-inch display screen and a main box to Zhongguancun. I was so tired that I was about to collapse, and I stood on the overpass to rest. I was waiting at the intersection. I suddenly missed you with the people crossing the road and the buildings around me that have nothing to do with me. At that time, I thought, no matter what kind of virtue I am now, I must ask you if I want to..."

He stopped and smiled embarrassedly: "I saw you, but changed my mind again. I feel that I am not qualified to accept your expectations for so many years."

"What am I expecting?" Luo Zhi suddenly shouted angrily.

From the moment this feeling grew deep in the dark, all she looked forward to was to be with him. He is Sheng Huainan, Sheng Huainan who has devoted her many years of affection. It was Sheng Huainan who dropped out, and Sheng Huainan was still a poor boy.

No matter how weak you are, you are still you, and no matter how strong others are, they are others.

She grabbed him by the collar, tears rolling down worthlessly.

It took a long time for Sheng Huainan to say in a harsh voice, "I can remind you that I have nothing."

Luo Zhi smiled.

"Fortunately, everything I like is still there."

Although she still didn't know what the "everything" was.

He hugged her gently, told her about his future plans, said that Zhu Yan supported his decision, and agreed to lend him money to let him buy shares, said his ideas about student computer network sales and campus agency, and said his mother I heard that he passed out after not going to Singapore, saying that he used the computer to train his biceps...

The sky is endless.

Luo Zhi listened contentedly, watching the sunset disappear at the end of the wall, the sky fell silent, and the cat jumped up and down on the wall.

It seems to be able to hear the old days.

However, it is not an easy task to grow old. Bravery and innocence will always be twin brothers. She doesn't know that the chance he gave up will eventually prove whether they are brave or innocent, but she is willing to believe that two people together will always reverse the fate of the hand.

After presenting all the sorrows of reality, after facing all the objective despair, they still determined to go on together.

No matter how far the two legs can go, the eyes of love are looking forever from the beginning.

Sheng Huainan noticed Luo Zhi's silence, and asked her with some worry: "What are you thinking about?"

"I'm thinking of us." Luo Zhi said with a smile, and clasped the diary in his arms that had announced her secrets and traveled all over the world before returning to his hands, as if he had clasped all the years of returning teenagers.

"I'm thinking, if possible, I must run back and tell the lonely girl in high school, don't be sad, and grow up quickly. When you grow up, you can meet me."

I am here, and the boy you like is also here.

I became a good person, and then pulled him together to become a better person.

Come and find us.

(End of full text)