Waiting For The Wind Warming Up To Kiss You

Fu Xueli raised her head and tilted her head to look at Xu Xingchun. She raised her lips and leaned forward, rubbing the tip of her nose, responding very carefully to him.

But my thoughts began to drift...

I don't know where to start. There seems to be no good beginning...

They are standing at the door of the kitchen. The knitted sweater did not block the wind at all. Fu Xueli felt a chill rising from the soles of her feet, and her teeth trembled. She rubbed her face with her hands to make her mind clearer.

Swallowing and vomiting, repeated a few times, finally carefully worded, Fu Xueli tried to speak, "Today your aunt showed me a picture of your childhood."

"Yeah." Xu Xingchun leaned at the door and looked down at her, acting like a listener. Under the light, the eyebrows were deep and clear.

"I thought you were very obedient in elementary school, and you were soft on awards such as Miyoshi students, but your aunt said that you never took a certificate back home."

After speaking, he looked up and Xu Xingchun seemed to be smiling.

She felt relieved, from the tip of her nose to the cheeks, she was a little red with cold. "But your grades in junior high school are so good, and so are your high school. Who knew you were a naughty ghost in elementary school."

The light above his head was soft and dim. Xu Xingchun touched his nose with his back, leaning against the door, and coughing slightly, "I'm not like you, I've been naughty."

Fu Xueli pretended not to hear the teasing in his voice, "Can you tell me about your father?"

"Wait later." He narrowed a smile.

"Then...your mother, it was...when you graduated from college..."

Xu Xingchun's throat moved, "The cancer is at an advanced stage."

The small wound on the finger didn't feel any pain at first, but now it hurts slightly, followed by a twitch at the tip of my heart.

The forehead touched his scapula, his head stuck low, and the breath was familiar.

A bit at a loss.

After a long silence, Fu Xueli whispered, and asked, "Did you...was it because of me..."

She thought about it, then swallowed when she reached her mouth, and hesitated a few times. Change the word ‘suicide’ to ‘self-harm’. After thinking about it again, I changed ‘self-harm’ to ‘injured’ again, and then I said it out.

She was a little nervous, "Did you have been injured at that time because of me? Was it serious."

Xu Xingchun was pressed with his back against the door panel, "It's not serious."

lie.

Knowing that he was telling lies, she didn't have the courage to ask deeply. Fu Xueli admits that she is a coward, with a very strong personality on the surface.

But every time they just touched each other up and down, in fact, they didn't have the courage to face the mistakes and evils they had made.

The twilight outside the window was clear, and the big yellow dog wandered about in the yard lazily, smelling of cooking smoke. They stand opposite each other, like the protagonists in the movie, spanning decades in between, they can go back to the original point after going round and round.

The young parents in the black and white photo frames on the wall still smile.

The memory is like a river bursting its bank, and like an abyss, going back to the beginning along the way.

When I was a child, there was a woman selling sweet potatoes in the place where Xu Xingchun lived. Her husband was violent and drunk. This woman had her mother died since she was a child, and then she was kicked out of the house, wandering and forced to sit on the stage, and finally married to her current husband.

Later, the woman disappeared.

Because their husband took drugs and borrowed money from usury, both of them jumped into the river and committed suicide.

The most common end for ordinary drug users is death. Died on a bed in a small hotel with a syringe in his arm. Or die in a place no one knows in this world.

This is what his father said.

But at that time he was five years old and didn't understand death.

Xu Xingchun's father is an anti-drug policeman. There are only three kinds of people in the circle, drug police, drug dealers and drug addicts.

Anti-drug police. With the patience and precision of snipers and surgeons, you are not afraid of death, ready to cover flags at any time.

But if you take a wrong step, you will not be able to see the sun again, and the secrets of the greatness will be rotten in the bottom of my heart.

When he was 8 years old, it was the last time Xu Xingchun saw his father.

Before he even had time to say goodbye, at the door of the house, his father's hands were twisted behind him and handcuffed. His mother ran after him and was pushed to the ground by someone. He glanced back at them, and was quickly held down by his head and escorted in.

The police door slammed shut and locked. Armed police armed with guns got on the car one after another.

From then on, every late at night, my mother was crying in the next room with her black veil in her arms.

She is a beautiful woman.

Now he has become neurotic.

The grievances were vented on Xu Xingchun's body. Pinched his face, mouth, and various parts of his body with his hands. Day and night, he suffered terribly because of this lack of childhood love. Sensitive self-esteem, lack of security.

Rumors spread gradually in the neighbourhood that a bench smashed on him in the school and laughed at his mother. There was a glass in hand, Xu Xingchun picked it up easily, expressionless, and smashed it to someone.

The arms and lower abdomen were all stained with blood.

Then he was dropped out of school.

His mother took him to cut off contact with everyone and went to the city.

He smokes and fights before he goes to junior high school.

Later, the psychologist in the bureau looked at Xu Xingchun and said that he had not been able to get normal emotions since he was a child, and his negative psychology has been suppressed. Once he is released, he cannot be controlled.

He is a little psychopathic.

Yes.

For Xu Xingchun.

Not being needed by this world, there is a senseless feeling that has lasted for a long time.

To junior high school.

He met a girl.

Beautiful girl.

Wearing a bright yellow dress.

Every day she would pass by a small alley.

In that small alley, he looked like a dirty insect that couldn't be seen, his eyes were sick, hiding in the corner and peering at her.

Watching her hands climb on the old window sill, in the sunset light, the kitten followed her arms and jumped to the ground.

Seeing that she broke a beloved cup, she cried for a long, long time.

At that time, Xu Xingchun had a thin face and an empty white school uniform. He had no sense of existence on campus.

He occasionally started thinking about this girl masturbating. It was like an unknown impulse, blooming on the holy and pure cross, and withered in an instant.

Later, I changed classes. They were at the same table. She was very lazy and was late for class. She always brought him the wontons sold at the school gate to ask him to help with homework.

They are together. Xu Xingchun was cautious, concealing his extremely sensitive personality well, and learned to constrain.

In her lonely life, she is the only bit of fun.

He liked that she was wearing that bright yellow dress with a pearl shell button on her chest. Seeing her show up, her face was shining, "I have nothing left besides beauty, you only like my face."

She is proud and headstrong, heartless and heartless. But he, this poor ghost, has no reason for what she likes to come, but he can't restrain it. He can only involuntarily try his best to get her closer.

He had never experienced the intimacy between people, so Xu Xingchun was at a loss for all of this.

Later, later.

I have also thought about it, whether it is liked by her carelessly, or as a daily pastime by her. It’s okay to live without tomorrow.

The way to get rid of temptation is to yield, give up dignity and freedom, and maintain this feeling that will be taken away at any time.

His love has come to the bottom.

The human heart is terrible.

Only higher desires can always overcome desire.

"Xu Xingchun, don't look back when you turn the page."

"OK."

When she spoke, tears fell unknowingly.

Bad.

Fu Xueli quickly pulled out a tissue from the side to cover her nose. Pretending to save his nose, pressing his fingers, the urn sounded, and he didn’t want to see him crying again, "I am in a miserable situation. We are together in misfortune. If I knew you were so miserable then, I would not Will abandon you."

The number of times that Fu Xueli cried to Xu Xingchun during this period was almost equal to the sum total of her being soft to others in her younger half of her life. It doesn't fit her arrogant and domineering style from childhood to grandeur.

No image at all.

He stared at Fu Xueli's charming face. His eyes stopped for a long time, and he touched the side of her face with his hands, from the eyes to the soft and dry corners of her mouth.

The fingertips are slightly rough, scraping the delicate skin.

Fu Xueli's face was very thin, but it was meaty when pinched. When he gets irritable, he looks like a little animal with exploded hair, and when he is guilty, he lowers his eyebrows and pleasing his eyes, with an expression of admitting wrong. Fragile and stubborn.

"OK."

Xu Xingchun's throat is low and hoarse, with a gentle feeling. There is a slight oscillating air current in the air, knocking on the eardrum.

The old man and Xu Yuan came back, and the rustling sound of opening the door accompanied the barking of dogs. They set up tables and chairs in the hall. Fu Xueli will leave after dinner tonight.

In the kitchen, Xu Xingchun rolled up his sleeves with one hand, picked up a clean white porcelain bowl from the table top, and placed it in the sink for cleaning. Exposed a little forearm, tight muscles, and smooth lines.

I have to say that his facial features are exquisite and very ornamental. Many small fresh meats in the circle have style.

She leaned over, propped her hands on the stove, tilted her head to look at him, and couldn't see enough.

Xu Xingchun's arms were raised slightly to block the hand she reached out, "The water is cold, don't touch it yet."

Fu Xueli hummed, leaning her head up, her body is soft and not correct, "I'm going to go abroad in a few days. Look at the weather forecast, the temperature in the country has cooled down, you have to remember to add clothes. I think your work is very hard, always Go around the streets."

Thinking of something, she suddenly felt a little distressed, and eagerly ordered, "By the way, Xu Xingchun, don't laugh at those women when you are performing some tasks outside."

His throat was a little low and hoarse, he laughed for a while, and still coughed a little without holding back, "What's wrong."

"Yes, that's the laugh. Do you know that smiling at women like this can easily cause crime." Fu Xueli said with a stern look, very serious.

What does she take him for?

"I'm a policeman." Xu Xingchun paused when he turned off the fire.

It's the police...the more attractive...

She yelled and hugged his waist silently, her arms wrapped around his back, "I don't care what you are."

The author has something to say:

I am innocent

I'm pure crazy

I hit the wall for Chunchun

TvT

I love him!