Waiting for You in a City

Zhan Xiaolu entered Song Yan's phone number on her mobile phone, and the light on the screen was reflected in her eyes, shining like a diamond.

Xu Qin looked at her and placed her phone in her ear expectantly.

The office is quiet and the iPhone is not soundproof.

Xu Qin could hear the clear beep, the phone was picked up, and Song Yan's voice was extremely low and magnetic in the receiver:

"Hey?"

Zhan Xiaolu couldn't hide his excitement: "I finally found you, hello!"

Song Yan: "Which one?"

Zhan Xiaoluo said quickly: "I was the girl you saved in Sixidi a month ago ... that paper art studio that was on fire, don't you remember?"

There was a short pause over there, saying, "I don't remember."

Xu Qin looked down at the medical record, listening to these three words, just like a natural sound.

"It doesn't matter if you don't remember, you can think of it when you meet me." Zhan Xiaolu was not frustrated at all, and said enthusiastically, "Thank you for your life-saving grace, I invite you to dinner."

There was a sentence over there: "No."

Hang up, simply and neatly.

As Xu Qin expected.

"Eh--" Zhan Xiaoluo hadn't finished speaking, and there was only a beep in the phone.

Xu Qin's state of mind seemed to sweep the haze of the whole month.

After work, Xiao Nan saw Xu Qin's lips slightly curved when leaving, a rare and pleasant appearance. Xiao Nan was completely puzzled.

A few days later, Xiaodong's physical test results came out, HIV negative, uninfected.

Xiaodong got the result and ran all the way to Xu Qin's office, holding Xiaoxi Xiaobei jumping and screaming, crying and laughing.

"Really good people have good rewards." Xiaodong said, "Everyone is not infected. The group of firefighters are not, they are happy to hug me."

Xu Qin looked up: "They have come to the hospital?"

Xiaodong: "Yes, in the infection center."

Xu Qin sat there for a second and stood up: "I think I'm going to find Professor Xu."

Walking out of the office, I heard Xiaodong shouting behind him: "I was talking about anger, who said I was going to resign? The angel in white was my dream since childhood.

Xu Qin left the emergency building, but did not walk towards the outpatient building, and turned to the infection center building. When I went to the HIV laboratory, the corridor was empty.

Xu Qin asked his colleagues: "What about the group of firefighters who came to test?"

"It's alright, let's go." The laboratory technician was also very happy. "Just leave, a minute."

Xu Qin turned around and chased.

As soon as I got out of the elevator, I saw a group of men in uniform uniforms wearing olive green. They were out of the building.

When Xu Qin ran out of the building through the crowd, he only saw Song Yan's last figure in the car and left.

Xu Qin stopped, gasping gently, looking away.

Song Yan got on the car and closed the door. When the car started, she looked back unconsciously at the hospital and saw Xu Qin standing in the courtyard in white clothes.

In December, it was already very cold.

She was staying indoors, wearing thin clothes, a light green surgical gown in a white lab coat, and hole shoes on her feet. His hair was **** in a chaotic bun, and the expression on Su Yan's face was empty, looking in his direction.

Binocular across the glass.

The car drove away quickly, and her figure drifted away.

...

Xu Qin didn't spend much time on the spot, and it was too cold outside.

When I returned to the office, I suddenly thought of Zhan Xiaoluo, thinking about what she would do with her personality. At that moment, Xu Qinyin realized that Zhan Xiaolu's frustration that day would not end.

This confirmation came very quickly and swiftly.

The next night, Xu Qin once again saw Zhan Xiaoluo in Xiao Yixiao's bar.

Since sitting together, Xu Qin observed that Zhan Xiaowa was playing with his mobile phone all night. He looked at the expression on the mobile phone with a smile and frowned, and his fingers flicked fast on the screen, and sometimes hesitated to think.

Xiao Yixiao asked: "I have been chatting all night. Whom is it so glued to?"

Zhan Xiaoluo raised his head from his mobile phone, his face frustrated: "Single chat. I sent dozens of text messages and asked him to eat supper, but he didn't return. This man is ruthless enough." He said to himself, "I will wait until he takes a vacation , Otherwise you have to wait and miss it. "

Jiang Yu asked casually: "Which man did you like again, making you so hot to stick to your cold ass."

Xiao Yixiao: "Which time is she not a stalker."

Zhan Xiaoluo: "I am happy." He said again, "Catch it if you like it, and divide it if you don't like it. Not all of you guys are like this. Why can't we women?"

"Yes, no, no."

Xu Qin quietly drank the wine in the glass.

Zhan Xiaoluo continued texting from time to time. Xu Qin didn't know what she sent, whether it was chat or sultry. She couldn't guess, she had to drink alcohol bit by bit.

At almost eleven, Zhan Xiaolu suddenly burst out screaming and jumped from the sofa: "He's back to me!"

Turning out the powder and lipstick make-up from the bag: "I will not go with you, go on a date."

Xu Qin watched her paint her lips red, like roses.

Xiao Yixiao was curious: "Who are you so excited about?"

"Fireman, my life-saving benefactor. Very good figure, I must take him down." Zhan Xiaoluo's eyebrows flicked, put the cosmetics back in the bag, and left a sorrow when he got up and left, "The name is very nice, Song, Yan .gone."

Xiao Yixiao, Meng Yanchen and Jiang Yu all changed their faces. Xiao Yixiao and Meng Yanchen both glanced at Xu Qin from their respective directions.

Xu Qin noodles do not change color, drinking wine and eating fruits.

After she finished eating, she wiped her hands with a tissue and got up: "I'll wash my hands."

In the hallway outside the bar toilets, a new couple of men and women embraced and kissed wildly. They will open the room tonight, roll the sheets, one night stand, or continue the next day, or a stranger.

Xu Qin walked into the bathroom, pulled the faucet, squeezed the hand sanitizer, scrubbed, and flushed water; then beat the hand sanitizer, scrubbed, and flushed water; and repeated.

Until a girl who finished makeup and went to the toilet noticed something strange, she whispered, okay? Xu Qin realized that the palm of his hand was tingling violently. It is said that the hands are connected to the heart, so at this moment the heart will hurt.

She looked at herself with both hands, forgetting when she had obsessive-compulsive disorder and cleanliness, and why she chose to be a doctor.

All memories of the past seem to be useless.

After washing her face, she adjusted her emotions and returned to her friends, where she sat for more than an hour.

Looking at the crowd around her, she suddenly didn't know how to return to that empty home tonight, how to fall asleep tonight, and simply closed her eyes and drank.

She didn't drink too much. She drank three glasses of whiskey in succession. The person was already groggy and said she was sleepy and wanted to go home.

Originally wanted to take a taxi by himself, but Meng Yanchen and Xiao Yixiao insisted on sending her back, watching her fall to the bed and falling asleep.

When going downstairs, Xiao Yixiao asked: "Is this her drink to worry?"

Meng Yanchen remained silent for a long time, but said: "Dare."

...

On winter night, the moonlight is bright and clean.

The alley behind the palm garden was empty.

Meng Yanchen sat in the dark car, staring at the back door of the community. Xiao Yixiao leaned on the co-pilot seat, an uncharacteristic silence.

Sure enough, I saw Xu Qin in the night. Her footsteps swayed a little, and she left the community and walked to Wufang Street.

Xiao Yixiao rubbed his forehead hard and turned to look at Meng Yanchen. Meng Yanchen looked at the thin figure in the night, motionless. Xiao Yixiao sighed and got out of the car.

...

Wufang Street in the middle of the night is a bit scary. The street is dark and quiet, and rows of old-fashioned houses reflect the deep silhouette at night. The branches are also bare and ghostly.

Xu Qin's footsteps floated slightly, but he quickly walked through the streets and alleys to the door of Zhai's courtyard. She walked up the steps and patted the Zhuqi gate, which was closed tightly.

She patted hard twice, and the cold wind hurt her hands. She patted and suddenly shouted:

"Song Yan!"

She rarely shouted loudly, her voice echoed in the night sky at the moment, listening to strange and unreal.

"Song Yan!"

She patted the door harder and shouted louder: "Song Yan!"

Someone came to open the door, it was Zhai Miao, wearing a down jacket, trembling in the cold, and when he saw Xu Qin, he was shocked: "What are you doing? Do you know what time?"

Xu Qin pushed her away and walked inside, bypassing the shadow wall and the promenade, and entered the yard. The uncle and aunt came out of the main house in their clothes: "What's wrong with this big night?"

Xu Qin went straight to the west wing and slapped the door, but his voice went down a little, calling: "Song Yan." It seemed to be afraid of waking the person inside from his dream.

"Song Yan." She patted the door calmly. "Song Yan, this is Xu Qin."

Zhai Miao ran over, shouting anxiously: "My brother didn't come back tonight."

Xu Qin was stunned for a moment, and stood there for two seconds, then pushed the door twice, unable to push. Only then went to the window and looked inside. The curtains were not pulled and the bed was folded neatly.

He went out with other women and did not return.

It is now two o'clock in the morning.

perhaps……

Standing by the window, Xu Qin suddenly lowered his head and covered his face with his hands.

There has been no movement for a long time.

The three in the courtyard looked at each other for a while. Uncle signaled to Zhai Miao, Zhai Miao rolled his eyes and walked over: "If the person is not here, go back."

Xu Qin was still silent, covering his face, like a dead statue.

Zhai Miao was so cold and irritable that he was about to have a seizure. Hearing Xu Qin said very lightly, like talking to himself.

"I feel like I'm going to die." She said, "It's meaningless to be alive."

Zhai Miao was sober this time: "Don't you, what's wrong? Did you tell me something?"

Xu Qin took his hand away and raised his head, but his face was unusually calm and unharmed. Without a word, he turned and walked away. Just because of alcohol, the body is a little swaying.

Zhai Miao didn't dare to let her go: "Why don't you sit for a while-"

Xu Qin ignored it, and was about to go down the steps to leave. He glanced at a pair of men's sports shoes hanging on the steps. The shoes were large and washed clean.

She stopped and stared at the shoes.

Zhai Miao saw: "Oh, my brother's shoes were confiscated." He said that he bent down to get his shoes.

Xu Qin kicked over, and a shoe was kicked into the yard.

Xu Qin took a sharp breath and filled his eyes with hate, chasing the shoe and kicking it away with one foot in the past, then catching up and kicking again.

She kicked the shoe all over the yard and she chased it and kicked it.

Xiao Yixiao, who rushed in, rushed in to hold Xu Qin, and the three uncles apologized: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, she's drunk, and she's crazy about drinking. I'm sorry.

The three will be suspicious.

Xiao Yixiao hugged her waist and dragged out. Xu Qin was not noisy or noisy, but struggled, staring at the shoes with both eyes, and had to kick. Xiao Yixiao simply covered her eyes and pulled out.

Xu Qin couldn't catch his hand, but was pulled out by his chaos, and his footsteps stepped on the shoe again. Xu Qin kicked it again, and the sneaker rolled away and stopped at his master's feet. .

Song Yan walked down the promenade to stand and stared at the shoes at his feet, his eyes moved upward, and looked at everyone in the courtyard coldly.

The aunt pushed the uncle and pulled him into the house.

Xu Qin broke away from Xiao Yixiao and looked at Song Yan provocatively.

Song Yan walked down the yard without a word, passing her by.

Xu Qin: "You stand still."

Song Yan stopped.

Xu Qin turned back: "Where did you go at night?"

Song Yan's lips squeezed tightly and she suffocated her stomach early. He was willing to go out to see Zhan Xiaolu in order to warn her not to harass her in person, but he accidentally learned that the phone number was shared by Xu Qin. Oh, what does she think of him?

Yes, it ’s good to come back, and I see her playing with her temper. Where did she come to have trouble at his house in the middle of the night?

Song Yan put his hands in his jacket pockets and looked back at her: "I went out with the woman, you know, what's the name coming, um--" He lowered his head and pointed his forehead slightly back, "The last name is Zhan, called, small Rao? "

Xu Qin was irritated by his tone, and he suddenly rushed up and pushed him hard.

Song Yan stepped back two or three steps, stood still and looked at her, her face changed suddenly, her eyes were full of ridicule and contempt: "Xu Qin, you are a bit of a taste. What the **** are you **** here to mess with me?"

Xu Qin's chest fluctuated and he shook his body, staring at him fiercely, but he couldn't hold a word. She couldn't tell. She obviously had a lot of words but couldn't tell.

She also wanted to have Zhan Xiaoluo's talking eyes, so that people can see happiness and sadness at a glance, but she did not.

Her eyes are always as silent and depressed as her people, driving her crazy.

Xiao Yixiao's face was blue, and he could not help but pull Xu Qin: "Go.-What do you tell this kind of person? See if he deserves you."

Song Yan gave him a cold look, then turned to Xu Qin, his eyes cold as ice.

Xu Qin refused to leave and suddenly broke away from Xiao Yixiao. She lifted her chin, looked directly at Song Yan, and said:

"Yes. You don't deserve me, you just don't deserve me."

Song Yan looked at her silently for a moment, and finally, she smiled, and it turned out to be indifferent. She turned and walked towards her room.

Suddenly, Xu Qin felt distressed and was about to be smashed away.

"Because--" She stood in the wind and frost of the night, looking at his back, a bleak arc at the corner of her mouth, "I like you more than you like me."

Song Yan's steps stopped, and he couldn't believe it.

"I'm not sociable, I don't like making friends, finance, lawyers, management, and many occupations. They are not suitable for me. Only a doctor can learn a professional. And I will never be unemployed, and I can support myself." Xu Qin slowly filled his tears Eyes, heartbroken, breathless. She took a trembling breath and looked up at the sky, her drunken body swayed and stood firm,

"I returned to my country and changed my surname. I moved out of the house. I was planning, little by little, to stop using the things given at home. I was thinking, how can I make my mom and dad not angry or object, Do n’t deny me my daughter. Will you work hard and get promoted to become a first-class, well-known surgical doctor, you can make them feel proud and proud in other ways, and be able to indulge me a little. ”

She gently and intermittently said all this and stopped.

Song Yan turned around and saw the night still, tears sliding down her pale cheeks line by line.

She looked at him through the tears, and bitter resentment appeared again in her eyes,

"But what about you? What have you done?-Song Yan, I asked you, what did you do to like me ?!-Yes, I kept trying to get close and hesitating. I repeated, I Greedy, I hesitated and weak, I could n’t see hope, I was scared, it was because— “She opened her mouth to say something, the teardrops rolled down first, she forced herself to gritt her teeth, and finally lowered her voice, word by word. , Tearing open her most difficult wound, "You have never done even a little effort for the two of us together. Never."

Song Yan felt a bitter throat, and his face almost twitched fiercely.

"Xu Qin, I--" The pain in my throat was unstoppable, like a heavy stone pressed against the grave. What can he say, so far, what else can he say.

Failure is an excuse, embarrassment is reality.

Everything he has done now is just a joke and satire.

To tell her beloved woman his poor and incompetent past, in order to beg her for consideration?

Or, telling her to push him into the present situation is her most trusted and inseparable loved one?

He has not fallen to that point.

After all, he could only choose silence.

She waited, expecting to gradually become disappointed: "I'm right, isn't it?-You say, is it?"

Song Yan stared at her, speechless. There is nothing more lifelike than this. There are thousands of words in the chest, but there is nothing to say in the end.

Xu Qin stared at him like he was confirmed, and in a moment, people burst into tears: "Don't you like me? Don't you like me?-You don't like me at all, otherwise you won't know a little I did n’t try it. You never even thought of being close to me! "

The tears could no longer be controlled, flowing like crazy, she sobbed, wept, complained,

"You will just stand there and wait for me to find you. You won't come over and pull me even if you see me fall.

Why should I be like a person like you? ! Why should I go to you? ! Yes, I am selfish, and I am selfish to people I like. I just want to see you have given me to walk to you. Otherwise what should I do? If I lose everything, but you just stand still, what should I do? I am not pure, I want to care, I want you to pay, I want you to take a step in my direction. But why can't you come? "

Song Yan's eyes were wet, and she stepped forward instinctively, and couldn't help pulling her.

She immediately grabbed his arm and kicked and beat again, "Why don't you refuse to come?-I like it, I can't see it at all. I tell you, I won't go towards you again, I won't Now! "

Xiao Yixiao couldn't look down any longer, stepped forward to hug Xu Qin and forced her to pull out: "Go home!"

Xu Qin couldn't get away this time, and finally howled and cried: "Song Yan, why don't you come ?! I'm here, why don't you come ?! Do you not like me so much? Why not say those words? Why do you say you like me terribly? I take it seriously! I take it seriously! — "

The heartbreaking scream of the girl soon disappeared into the wind. Xiao Yixiao has dragged people out.

The courtyard was suddenly quiet, but in the distance there was a faint cry of a girl whine.

Zhai Miao was stunned in place, already with tears in his face: "Not like this." She rushed towards the gate.

"Zhai Miao!"

Suddenly roared sharply, Zhai Miao was horrified and stopped at the same place.

The pain and despair in that sound, she heard clearly.

Zhai Miao turned back slowly, as if suddenly seeing a stranger, it was not Song Yan. Not her brother Song Yan.

The man seemed to have changed when Xu Qin left, and he was sore.

Zhai Miao had never seen Song Yan like this. He hung his head down, his shoulders collapsed, and his spine was bent, as if there was a severe pain in his body cavity.

He seemed to be unable to bear it anymore. The pain caused him to squat slowly, clenching his head and failing to make another sound.