Warhammer: I don’t want to be a can of worms! ! !

Extra New Year&#039;s greetings

Warning before viewing:

Free extra, 8.1k words in total, the timeline is confusing and imaginary, all the characters have collapsed, it’s just a joke, it’s completely self-interested, and it has illustrations.

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"Today is the last day of the year."

Hades pointed to the last little red circle on the calendar. The mortal-sized calendar was like a toy in his hand, mini and small.

"Where have you been?"

Hades said seriously. He turned his head and looked at Nios who was lying on the sofa. Nios was playing with his head raised and blowing bubbles with a golden straw. There were many magnificent church-style objects floating in the air. Bubbles, golden light and shadow flickering on them.

Strictly speaking, Hades should be in the Death Guard now, but Neos seconded Hades to Terra on the grounds that he needed Pluto's job. The two friends got together and decisively began to enjoy the work of a better life.

Hades turned his head and looked at his hand with the calendar. There was a holographic galaxy map on the table in his hand. Hades stretched out his hand and zoomed in and out of the map at will.

"...Macragge?"

Hades asked hesitantly, but just as he said the last character, a burst of air suddenly sounded!

Hades skillfully turned his head to the side - snap!

A golden scepter rubbed his right cheek steadily and was tremblingly inserted into the wall.

Hades turned around and spread his hands in the direction of the door.

"Okay, okay, change it, change it."

Malcador coughed violently at the door.

"Shouldn't you be working?!"

The old man's tired and angry voice sounded, "Travel? Vacation?!"

Nyos, who was lying on the sofa, raised his head and blew out a bubble of a little man with a hunched figure and angrily waving a cane.

"You come too, Malcador."

said the Emperor, holding the golden straw in his mouth, "It may not be Macragge."

The old man let out an angry, meaningless roar, but the two people in front of him were obviously not aware of it at all. Hades turned his head and played the cheerful tune "Congratulations on getting rich" in a covert manner, while the two people lying on the sofa were The emperor blew out another bubble of a hunched and roaring villain.

Malcador took a deep, trembling breath, and reached out toward the void. Hades tilted his head consciously, and the scepter that destroyed the palace wall returned to the old man's hand.

Malcador angrily walked to the long sofa, sat down, folded his arms, and closed his microphone angrily.

The Lord of Mankind blew out a hand bubble with an index finger extended out. The bubble floated and shimmered in various colors. It floated to Malcador's side, poked the old man, and then popped open beside the old man. A small golden firework exploded.

"Where do you want to go on vacation? Let's go see Ruth?"

The emperor spoke,

"Ruth has been fooling around with Khan and Magnus lately,"

Malcador said stiffly, "They don't know what to do together. They have already scrapped several Mars super engines - going at this time will disturb them."

"oh."

The Emperor responded coolly, "Then change."

"How about Sanguinius?"

Macado coughed a few times,

"The Archangels are trying to repair their relationship with Horus recently. You'd better give them some personal space."

"Horus..."

The Lord of Humanity muttered a little depressed, "Okay."

"Where's the big moth?"

Hades spoke, adjusted the holographic map to the star field where the Death Guard was located, and clicked on the real-time data there.

"Hmm...it doesn't seem possible either..."

Hades whispered to himself, "This guy seems to be addicted to slashing aliens. It seems unrealistic to go to him to make dumplings now."

Hades made an annoyed sound and adjusted the map to Macragge.

"Ah - Guilliman is changing his policy again recently!"

Hades shouted, pointing to the data note sent to Terra by the original body, "It is inconvenient to visit, he guessed again?!"

"No Macragge!!!"

Makado roared, and the bubbles all around him that tried to poke him exploded instantly with his roar, and small fireworks exploded one after another.

"Where to go?!"

Hades also shouted in despair,

"We can't spend New Year's Eve in Terra's official documents! It really doesn't work - why don't we just go to the Eye of Terror to pay New Year's greetings to the warp creatures?!"

"good idea,"

The emperor, who was lying on the sofa, said lazily with a golden straw in his mouth.

"Go beat 'em up, sounds good."

Malcador let out a suffocating sigh. He seemed to think that everything here was hopeless.

Hades muttered as he flipped through the map, looking for several legions in succession——

"What the hell?! Everything is going on! Why do they have such a fulfilling life?!"

Hades shouted, heartbroken,

"It's just me, and you - Neos! A new era has arrived! Old guys like us are already the ashes of history! It's useless!"

"You're very useful - you can approve official documents if you're too busy, Hades."

Malcador's low and resentful voice came, and Hades naturally ignored Malcador.

"useless!"

Hades repeated it again. He quickly walked back to the sofa, sat down and sunk in, skillfully reaching for the Coke on the coffee table.

The finger bubbles blown by the Emperor exploded around Hades, and the tone of "Congratulations on your fortune" sounded as the bubbles popped.

"It's decided!" Hades looked up suddenly and looked at Neos and Malcador. He felt a firm determination climbing up his spine. "I'll spend this year on Terra! I'll sleep through New Year's Eve!" The Emperor bit the straw, and a bubble of "OK" gesture stuck to the other end of the straw. "You'd rather sleep than work!!!" Malcador made a sharp explosion. "I did so much in the past just to play badly now!!!" Hades responded with the same explosion. "I am a hero! I shed blood for the Empire!! I have contributed to Terra!!! Uh ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah! I want to-not work!!! I have! Work PTSD! Severe post-work trauma! Work will kill me!! You can't kill me! You're killing the donkey!! Killing the chicken to get the eggs!!! Sarlang-Sarlang! Killing the hero!!!" "Shut your dog mouth!!" With a loud bang, Malcador stood trembling with anger, holding the scepter with a more perfect angle. Hades held his head and shouted that he would kill the meritorious officials and there would be no more laws.

"Laws?!"

Malcador roared,

"Come and establish them if you dare! The documents for establishing new laws have been piled up for a long time!!"

"Never!!!"

Hades shouted,

"We need to train the new generation to have abilities, independence and autonomy!!! Old Ma! Old Ma! You spoil them too much!"

"...I think,"

The Emperor spoke slowly. As soon as the Lord of Mankind spoke, a huge golden light appeared instantly, forcibly silencing Hades and Malcador.

"I think Hades is right."

The Emperor said,

"Old Ma, we should let go."

"You have worked too hard for too long, so take a break. It's just the right time to train the new generation."

Malcador stared at the Emperor, he was trembling, the Lord of Mankind was deep and full of wisdom, staring at him with a firm gaze, as if silently persuading the old man who had voluntarily worked too hard,

*The Lord of Mankind, used a trick against Malcador!

*Malcador's will wavered!

*Malcador's willpower - 999

*Malcador compromised!

*Win or lose 8965487/1

Finally, Malcador's shoulders slumped,

"Okay, okay."

The old man, who was angry just now, seemed to have lost his strength and collapsed back on the sofa.

"I'll do as you say."

The old man pulled down his hood and shut up again.

Hades saw that Malcador had compromised, and he chuckled and regained his confident and swaggering attitude.

"Then,"

Hades tentatively proposed,

"Let's prepare four or five movies and snacks, and then stay in the palace to watch movies?"

"How about it? We can also invite Valdor."

"Let him be on guard."

The Emperor said lightly.

"I'll do as you say," Hades said, "but I'll decide the snack list, I'll get some fries."

"Okay."

The Emperor stared at the ceiling and said thoughtfully.

"I want to watch the second edition of "The Great Rebellion 3 (Part 1)."

The Lord of Mankind said.

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Hades found something wrong in the corridor.

At this moment, he was holding a plate of barbecue in each hand, and the mechanical arm behind him was also holding a lot of it. His pockets were filled with jelly and sugar oranges. A lollipop and a sealed braised duck neck were wrapped around his neck. On his head was a pile of popcorn, French fries, and fried food. On the top was a box of French fries placed at an angle. With every step Hades took, a French fry fell out of the box. Hades cleverly tilted his head and opened his mouth slightly, just in time to catch it.

Hades chewed the French fries, and his cheerful pace slowed down a beat. He squinted his eyes and pressed against the door at the end of the corridor.

Something seemed wrong.

Hades realized it, but because it was really difficult to release the black domain in the palace, Hades chose not to use the black domain to explore the way for the time being.

The part that the mechanical eye saw showed that there was no problem in the room - was it really okay?

Hades walked over, kicked the door open, and shouted, "I'm carrying food!" The next moment, there were roars and screams, and Hades suddenly jumped up, with a posture like a roc spreading its wings. With a thud! The snacks on Hades' head hit the ceiling, and the top fries fell down with the bag. Hades grabbed the bag of fries with his mouth without hesitation. Leman Russ's hearty laughter sounded from below Hades, and the Wolf King rode a motorcycle and made a thrilling sharp turn in the room. Magnus screamed, [Russ!!!] [Hahahahaha! Good brother! You hid so quickly!! 】

The wolf king turned the accelerator with one hand and took a sip of wine with the other hand. He laughed and clinked glasses with the Khan who was standing by with his arms crossed waiting for him.

On the other side, Hades fell rapidly. Because he was holding French fries, he couldn't shout, and he was anxious and whimpered and cursed.

Koz, who was hanging upside down on the ceiling, pulled his hand to prevent Hades from losing all the food in his hand. Hades landed in a miraculous posture, and all the food on his body was stable.

Applause rang out in the room. Hades decisively handed the food in his hand to Angron who came to take it from him. Then he took out two huge roasted beef legs from the pile of food above his head, one in each hand. He turned his head, and a strange light flashed in his eyes.

He aimed at the wolf king who was laughing wantonly, and Magnus who was loudly scolding Russ.

Two explosions sounded one after another!

【vomit! ! ! 】

Leman Russ and Magnus fell to the ground clutching their necks, with roast beef legs stuck in their mouths.

Hades took back his hand with satisfaction. He clapped his hands and took off the bag of chips in his mouth.

"It's your own fault."

Hades shook his head and looked at Khan shaking and rescuing Magnus who was foaming at the mouth.

It seemed like he was accidentally shot, but it didn't matter, Magnus's scream just now was annoying enough.

Hades turned his head and saw a room full of original bodies.

Sanguinius was talking to Horus, Angron and Vulkan were distributing the barbecue handed to them by Hades, Guilliman was smiling and clinking glasses with Dorn, Curze and Corax were whispering. The chat was just on the ceiling. Mortarion took the roast meat distributed by Vulkan and tried to add ingredients to it. Luojia was praying something piously and quietly with his eyes closed. Fulgrim and Faenus were beside Luojia. conversation.

【Happy New Year! 】

Seeing Hades come in, Fulgan was the first to raise his glass and congratulate him elegantly and high-pitchedly, and then other people began to congratulate him.

"Happy New Year - wait, where's Neos?!"

Hades responded, and then, the door was opened again, and the Emperor walked in wearing his golden home clothes, wearing gold cotton slippers, and wearing a somewhat funny hat on his head, similar to a Santa hat, but golden hat of.

He was holding a mug in his hand, which was still slowly steaming out. Unsurprisingly, the golden mug had a big " # 1" written on it.

At the moment of entering, Hades clearly saw the emperor's frozen expression for a moment, but then, the emperor restored his majestic and calm expression.

"Happy New Year."

The Lord of Mankind said, Hades decisively moved aside and stood beside the dark Mothman in the dark corner. He watched the Emperor's children step forward one by one, kneeling down on one knee seriously and solemnly to pray for the Emperor. Send blessings.

Perhaps because they were meeting the Lord of Mankind, except for Mortarion's daily crotch-stretching clothes, the other Primarchs were all wearing light formal dresses with complicated pattern decorations and straight fabrics, and they knelt down to celebrate. The Lord of Mankind presents a stark contrast.

"Aren't you going to pay your respects to him?"

Hades whispered to Mortarion in a low voice, and handed him a potato chip. Mortarion, who was hazy in the fog, smashed it into his mouth.

[Can’t kneel down. 】

Mortarion said, [The wings are too big. 】

【Tasteless. 】

He added another comment about the French fries.

"Well," Hades said, "you don't look too festive to be in the cold, Mortarion."

Mortarion responded with a sneer.

[I will never hang decorations like archangels on my wings. 】

He pointed to the gold ornaments on Sanguinius's wings. Hades raised his eyes and saw the Archangel. On the pair of huge white wings, Hades even saw "Happy New Year". This type of fine gold made blessings.

Hades turned his head, frowning thoughtfully and staring at Mortarion's wings with the souls screaming inside.

Mortarion decisively hit Hades with his wings. Pluto staggered a small step and let out a haha. It would be better to hold the fries and watch the original body celebrate to the emperor, Hades thought.

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In the large, dark room, people gathered around the huge long sofa in the middle. On the thick plush carpet, there was a life-sized lazy sofa. People watching the movie were sitting or lying down, and they all looked at the human beings seriously. Videos selected by the Lord.

When it came time for the red king to kiss the white wolf girl, Hades concentrated on it and ate another handful of popcorn.

"The Great Rebellion 3 (Part 1)" has been reset for the second edition. It tells the story of the uncrowned king Red Emperor who was misunderstood by the empire. The Red Emperor was exiled to the territory of his mortal enemy the Wolf King, and the white wolf girl of Fenris was with him. Meeting, the eldest daughter from the largest tribe in Fenris secretly broke the taboo against the wishes of the wolf clan, met the sinner Red Emperor, and was willing to believe the prophecy seen by the Red Emperor and help the Red Emperor escape from the Wolf King's imprisonment.

With the power of love, the two defeated the great demon Tzeentch who framed the Red Emperor as a sinner, and successfully got rid of all the obstructions of the Wolf King. Finally, on Fenris, where the lava burst and the earth's crust violently moved, the two exchanged treachery. The two heads of the strange demon Carlos were used as tokens, and they kissed each other on top of Fenris, where the landslide and earth were shattering, and they finally parted ways.

The Red Emperor will go to the warp to join his battlefield, while the White Wolf Girl will go to the Webway to defeat the new conspiracy of the evil warp.

When they parted, the Red Emperor held the White Wolf girl's hand affectionately and said those words——

[I love you deeply and am willing to give everything for you - but I have already given everything I have to mankind! ! ! 】

Ruth roared, saying the exact same lines as the people on the screen, laughing so hard that he almost fell off the sofa and burst into tears.

【Ruth! ! ! 】

Magnus screamed angrily and took turns to beat Russ with the popcorn bucket. The two struggled and the popcorn flew into Sanguinius's wings, and the archangel vibrated automatically.

[Have you forgotten your little psychic girlfriend? ! 】

Magnus shouted, now the Wolf King was furious.

The Crimson King refers to the reset second version of "Heiracy 3 (Part 2)", the story of the Wolf King's acquaintance with the apprentice psyker girl from the disintegrated Thousand Sons Legion. This version's bad life is even more outrageous than (Part 1), in which The Wolf King contributed many classic lines, such as

"Woman, you are playing with fire." "You are not like other psykers." "Your face is as red as Kabanha's muscles, and your hair is like Kabanha’s hooves are so black and shiny.”

This is also the reason why Magnus was so tolerant to his version of the movie. He looked at his first, and his angry face turned seven or eight times redder than Kabanha's butt, and then he was pinned down by Khan. Immediately after admiring the Wolf King, Magnus's laughter lasted for nine days and nine nights, and then he passed away.

The first thing Magnus did after waking up was to shout to Leman Russ,

【You have today too! 】

After that, the two began to be keen on collecting peripherals of the heroines of the opposite movie. Magnus even had a T-shirt with the face of the Thousand Sons girl on it. He once proudly wore it to go to Leman Russ to ridicule, and then was The Wolf King became furious and beat him up.

Now that the roster of personnel has begun to be announced on the screen, Hades took a bite of popcorn and enjoyed the fight between Magnus and Leman Russ with even greater interest - I have to mention that the Emperor's vision for selecting films Quite vicious.

The fight between the two was quite festive, and everyone enjoyed it for a while. Then the Lion King pulled the Wolf King, and the Khan pulled Magnus, and separated the two.

At the emperor's suggestion, everyone who was a little dizzy after watching the movie went out to the rooftop to breathe fresh air. It was already late at night, and the night was a bit empty.

So Hades proposed to hold a flying conference.

Amid the heckling, the participants were as follows: Sanguinius, Mortarion, Lorgar, and Corax.

Yes, when Luojia Flying saw Luojia praying for the first time, flying in the air with her feet on golden auspicious clouds and chanting mantras, Hades's mind went blank.

Of course, the minds of people who see Mortarion taking off usually go blank.

So the game began, and Sanguinius flew out first, his wings sparkling in the air, gliding gracefully in the air, the wind gently brushing his handsome face and lifting his blond hair.

People cheered for Sanguinius.

Immediately behind him was Mortarion, he - ugh - he, no, ugh - he bit tightly behind Sanguinius, fluttering, no, flying while polluting the air of Terra, The white mist was mixed with ominous scale powder falling down. Where the scale powder fell to the ground, the vegetation instantly withered and died.

Hades silently put on his gas mask, and his only remaining eye was sore from the smoke.

Then there was Luojia, who was frowning, chanting sutras, no, praying and stepping on the golden rolling auspicious clouds. Next to him was Corax, who was far away, as far away from Mortarion's polluted air as possible.

At the end of the game, Sanguinius came first. People complained about the people who had just encouraged Mortarion to compete, so Sanguinius was coaxed to fly a few more laps to cleanse people's polluted hearts.

Mortarion went off to beat up the people who had just booed him, and Hades also went to help the Pale Lord. They happily grabbed the Wolf King and threw him from the rooftop.

By the way, I helped Coz find a corner, beat him up, and stuffed him in.

So people all said that Mortarion's flight was good just now, and it was good because... it was good because of him!

After having enough time on the rooftop, people went back one after another. This time, Ruth hurriedly crawled out from under the palace and took out his spiked version of mead, indicating that everyone should drink his first.

Hades saw Mortarion eager to try, and his hand that wanted to take out the poisonous wine dropped in despair.

It has to be said that mead can indeed make the original body drunk. In the drunkenness, people started to sing.

First, the Lord of Mankind, the Emperor, sang "We Are the World" by Michael Jackson. Everyone who listened to the song was in tears and sad, and they clapped and shouted, swearing allegiance to the Emperor;

Malcador came up and sang "The Queen of the Night's Aria", and Hades marveled that Malcador's usual voice could still sing tenor;

Corax came on stage and sang Rammstein's "Asche zu Asche", and everyone except Archangel, Curze and Khan politely expressed their difficulty in enjoying it;

Khan went up and performed a traditional Chogorian song, but because it was in Chogorian, Hades did not understand the meaning of the song;

The primarchs all came forward to show off their singing voices. The most surprising one was Curze. Curze sang "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen. Corax sang the harmony for him. Hades thought he could Sings a song similar to Corax's.

Finally, after three rounds of drinking, the atmosphere reached its climax. The mead had begun to be mixed with Mortarion's poisoned wine. Russ was chasing people to drink wine. Even Sanguinius pulled Horus and started to try the poison. After drinking, Fainus and Guilliman were already lying on the ground unconscious. Angron tried to pull them up. It seemed that the Lord of the Red Sand was also drunk, because his attempt failed and he fell headlong onto Guilliman. On Liman, Guilliman let out a wail, Curze screamed strangely and ran around in the high altitude of the room, and Hades burped and drunkenly held the microphone.

"Thank you, thank you,"

Hades said seriously, and then he began to sing, affectionately, emotionally, completely emotionally, so pure that there was no trace of technique, and howled tonelessly.

Hades sang "Gong Xi Fa Cai" by Andy Lau.

He finished singing affectionately, and the drunks applauded fiercely and gratefully for their ears that no longer had to be tortured.

"Thank you, thank you,"

Hades said confusedly, he burped again,

"I have always had a great and evil dream,"

He held the microphone and said deeply,

"I hope that on this day, "Gong Xi Fa Cai" can be heard in every corner of the galaxy, supermarkets, black markets, trading points, material procurement platforms - everyone should hear this song on this day."

"On this day, huge waves should reverberate in the subspace, and the great god Andy Lau will come to everyone's ears and tell them that the New Year is here."

In the audience, people clucked and clapped. Hades knew that except the emperor, no one understood what he was saying, and no one cared about what he said. As long as he spoke nonsense in a tone that matched his tone, they Then they would applaud fiercely for him, for Pluto,

So Hades continued to say affectionately,

"I know, 1+1=2. Terra has to take Apollo 3 to go to Mars, and Chenghua Avenue has to take Line 2, and all of this -"

"all of these!"

Hades chanted,

"——This is all a dream leading to Macragge!!!"

The applause was a thousand times louder, and the people who were rowing and drinking were howling and cheering for him. Colorful lights surrounded him. Hades went down dizzy, and directly took Mortarion and handed it to him. wine glass,

【drink! 】

Mortarion said, so Hades raised his hand and stuffed it. Thick liquid garbage was poured into his stomach, irritating his esophagus. Hades began to feel sorry for the other food in his stomach. He shouldn't be so cruel. they.

They started rowing fists and drinking. The contestants were Leon, Khan, Mortarion, Russ, Magnus, Vulkan, and Hades.

Guilliman had fallen, Horus had fallen, and Sanguinius was flying around in the sky like a shining ball of ball lights, nearly colliding with Curze who was crawling darkly on the ceiling many times.

"drink!"

Hades said.

The cup was filled up, bottomed out, filled up again, bottomed out again, and finally, Mortarion sat on the unconscious Wolf King and had a one-on-one duel with Hades. The Wolf King snored, and he seemed successful. Drunk - no, drunk by Mortarion.

Vulkan fell to the ground. Hades hoped that the Fire Dragon Lord was not waiting for the resurrection CD. Angron leaned on Vulkan and Guilliman, staring at Mortarion and Hades with dull eyes. The final duel.

Khan sat next to Magnus who fell to the ground. Magnus, who was addicted to human food, fell in the first round. He tried to overpower the Wolf King, but was knocked down by Russ instead. He even fought against Leon in the follow-up, and was finally killed by Mortarion in the second round of decisive battle.

The lion sat silently next to Khan, trying to maintain his last dignity, but it was obvious that both he and Khan had been poisoned by Mortarion's wine, and now they were just holding on.

They stared dumbfoundedly at Hades and Mortarion, drinking poisoned wine one glass at a time, desperately trying to kill them.

On the other side, the lantern ball birdman was flying in the sky with Fulgrim in his arms. Fulgrim opened his arms wide and shouted deeply,

【YOU JUMP, I JUMP! ! ! 】

Bang! The birdman successfully collided with the bat, and the three of them fell from the ceiling in a mess, just hitting the fallen Horus and Faenus.

None of this disturbed Hades at all. Hades continued to fight Mortarion. He drank while vomiting. Even without the influence of Mortarion's subspace, the wine itself was strong enough.

Hades's consciousness began to blur. In the end, all he could do was pour wine, fill it up, and drink it again. His eyes began to darken. Finally, he saw Mortarion holding the wine glass and shaking it. ,

boom!

Mortarion fell.

Hades let out a victor's laugh, "Call me full!"

He generously handed over the cup with a victor's attitude, and then——

boom!

Hades successfully broke the piece.

——————————

In the dark room, the vulgar reset second version of "Rebellion 3 (Part 1)" was still playing, and the bright white light shone on the faces of the sleeping and unconscious people.

Nios sat upright in the middle of the sofa, staring at the screen calmly. In the hot dimness, white light illuminated his face.

On his left was Malcador, who had fallen asleep due to fatigue. On his right, Sanguinius was lying on his lap, in a deep coma. Neos's right hand was stroking the archangel's messy feathers and combing them straight.

At his feet and beside him, a room full of sleeping drunks collapsed, no one was awake.

The picture on the big screen reached the scene where the Red Emperor kissed the White Wolf girl with tears in his eyes.

"I love you deeply and would give everything for you - but I have already given my all for humanity,"

Red Emperor's single eye shed tears,

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I can't give you anything better. I'm already penniless and naked. Everything I have has been given to this race."

The Emperor watched the scene calmly.

In the silence, something sounded. Hades stood up unsteadily, covering his head with one hand,

"Well……"

Hades groaned in pain after being hungover. He turned his head and saw that the Emperor was still awake. Hades walked over, stepped over a group of drunken men, and took a bite from the coffee table in front of the Emperor. A cup with unknown liquor,

"Saliva."

Hades said hoarsely, Neos poured him a cup of tea, Hades drank it in one gulp, his throat that seemed to be burning was better now,

Hades scratched his head as if he had just woken up. He looked at the emperor,

"Happy New Year."

Hades said, toast,

The Emperor also picked up his mug,

"Happy New Year."

Happy New Year! ! !

I'm sorry that my state is not very good this time. I am busy and tired in the third dimension, so the updates are much slower.

So today we have a big extra episode, which is considered as an apology! ! !

There will be no other updates today, so let me take a short vacation.

Happy New Year everyone and all the best!