Why is my time traveling to the second dimension such a weird rule story?

I never wanted to be a player, and I never thought about climbing up to the so-called top player level of Red Moon-level players. In the final analysis, she is just a socially anxious girl who longs for friends and excitement.

Playing music with friends, eating and drinking outside together, playing together, and living a happy and beautiful life as an ordinary person.

This is obviously the future she is looking forward to, and the future that she, a girl who is extremely timid about all people and social interactions, longs to touch.

Yes, the reason why I chose to become a Red Moon-level player and choose to experience danger, from the beginning, wasn’t it for that illusory legend, for the possibility of [getting the Red Moon-level copy A-level clearance blessing twice to get out of the sacrifice game forever]? She just wants to break free from this hell with her friends Kita Ikuyo and Aoyama Nanami, and then return to that small band and continue her life.

Hongxia’s dream... ah, after I quit the band, she has not been able to find new members to join. I clearly said that we should work together, but I failed Hongxia's dream. Will she hate me? Probably... No, she is such a kind person, maybe she will enlighten me after seeing me, telling me not to care too much, it is obviously my fault, it is obviously me who is wrong...

If Kita and I can return to the band, if the "end band" can be re-formed, but Kita has...

[Yes, that's right, you are still eager to return to a good life with your friends, but this wish can no longer be realized]

[It was the man named Gao Hai who deceived you, he killed Kita Ikuyo, he killed your friend]

[He never thought of helping you, he was just using you, you should take revenge on him, you should take revenge on him while he is sensing now, and plant this seed in his head]

The voice in my head is getting louder and louder.

After I realized that Kita was dead, and my spirit was hit hard, and the original consciousness protection inevitably had a gap, the sound that had been ringing was getting louder and louder.

Is this my own voice?

I always feel like someone is telling me, saying to me, that this is my own idea, that this is what I want to do.

Can such a strange self-consciousness exist?

Plop!

A muffled sound woke Goto Ichiri from her trance.

Through the shared clone vision, she saw that Nanakawa Ren and Hayashibe Kenta had arrived at the gap in the glass wall of the blood pool. Hayashibe Kenta, a slightly fat man, climbed up the gap with some difficulty, and then jumped directly into the blood pool without a second of hesitation, and his whole body was completely immersed in it.

Nanakawa Ren himself sat at the gap, holding a hemp rope in his hand, and the other end of the hemp rope was connected to Hayashibe Kenta's body.

The blood pool filled with [God's Blood] is not a place that can be easily stepped into. As the prototype material of [Ghost Stories], this thing can distort human beings from the essence of existence. Even with the isolation of protective clothing and the physical strength of Red Moon-level players that exceeds the limit of human beings as a guarantee, it cannot change the danger of this behavior.

In fact, Gao Hai, who has begun to draw Morihara Koji with his obsession pencil, knows very well that this player named Hayashibe Kenta should not be able to float out of the blood pool alive as a human. Well, in fact, even if he goes, the player's life is sentenced to death from the moment he enters the blood pool.

Or is it destined to be sacrificed? Just like the person who plays the role of a rescue team member to lead other players out in the ordinary solution of Shirakawa Apartment, and the person who leads the white skirt away to ensure the survival of other players in the ordinary solution of the Red Nut Gray Cave, if you want to pass the dungeon, this kind of person who takes the position of a sacrifice is always indispensable.

But for Gao Hai, this is bullshit.

He just doesn't want to admit this solution, he just won't recognize such a choice.

Even if the situation this time has really reached a helpless dead end, he will start everything over again, and he will definitely take a different path.

As long as you haven't been truly defeated by fate and haven't faced the despair of being unable to make any changes, you must never choose to give up or compromise.

At this moment, while listening to the sound of Hayashibe Kenta entering the water outside the door, Gao Hai's expression did not change at all. He just stared at the wall in front of him in silence, staring at the appearance of the boy named [Morihara Koji] that he gradually sketched out stroke by stroke.

He didn't know what Morihara Koji looked like as a high school student. On those stages, Gao Hai saw the boy's appearance when he was a child. Perhaps because of this, Gao Hai's impression of this boy was more inclined to the child's side, so that he also drew a child.

"..."

Gao Hai stared at the boy on the wall in silence as he gradually became complete.

The boy with gauze on his face, cigarette burns on his arms, dirty, head down, and always silent.

He seemed to be staring at Gao Hai as well.

This boy, who had only known a few fragments of Gao Hai's experience so far, knew that he had experienced family divorce, that he grew up in violence and hurt, and that he eventually destroyed everything, seemed to be looking at Gao Hai at this moment.

Or was he looking at something else?

After such a short and painful life, and experiencing setbacks and tribulations again and again, he was unable to truly usher in a turnaround until the end of his life, and he was unable to taste happiness. What was he looking at?

[Teacher]

The boy raised his head and looked to his side, looking at the vague figure that he couldn't even determine whether it really existed.

[I actually think everyone is really strange]

He looked into the distance, his voice was soft but empty.

[They said that every morning when you wake up, give yourself a smile in the mirror, and tell yourself that you have to spend today well, come on]

[Why can they say that? How can they cheer themselves up? I don't understand]

[Fall asleep, wake up, obviously nothing has changed, obviously nothing has changed, how can you cheer yourself up? What's the point of cheering? Isn't the result still the same? ]

He was gloomy, his messy hair covered his eyes, and there was no trace of brilliance in his voice.

The bright sunshine sprinkled on the earth, with green leaves and colorful flowers, and people wearing colorful clothes.

But only he was full of gray colors, as if he was the only one in this world who was out of tune with others, as if he and the whole world were mutually exclusive.

Gao Hai did not hear the answer.

That vague, [nothing] thing that became the [teacher] did not give an answer.

Silence.

What he saw and felt was only silent silence.

And the boy raised his head, and after he finished speaking, he just stared at him silently, just stared at him silently.

Should I say something?

Gao Hai suddenly felt a little confused. He should be using the [Pen of the Perseverer] to perceive the relevant information of [Morihara Koji], the core obsession, to perceive the existence of this weird thing. But now, he inexplicably felt that the other party seemed to be talking to him, and felt that this boy he drew stroke by stroke was waiting for him to communicate with him and say something to him.

It was as if he had traveled through time and came to the boy, standing beside him, just listening to what he said.

But what should I say?

I don't understand these things.

I am not the people you say, I have never really lived, I have never experienced the feeling of being a human being. I am just a record, just a phantom that has been created, and it has been constantly changed with construction and deletion again and again, until no one comes to transform me, no one defines my existence, no one sees me, pays attention to me, and speaks to me.

Even if you call me a teacher like the children I have seen, I have never taught any students, I don't understand those courses, and I don't understand what the adults who talk in class are talking about. I don't know anything. I don't know the answer you want.

But I seem to know something.

I know you are sad, right?

Just like the children I have seen before, although you will put on a straight face and pretend to be normal, although you will try to suppress the trembling of your voice, but I can hear, I can feel that you are actually very sad, you are actually sad and want to cry out loud.

So at this time, I will say this.

I will say:

[I don’t know, I don’t understand such questions]

[But I know there is a kitten nearby who likes to play with people. If you reach out to it, it will come to rub against you. Do we want to go and see it together? ]

Chapter 137: Questions, Searches, Future and Unspoken Wishes

I began to feel that living is a very boring thing very early.

When children of my age were still playing and chatting about various animation scenes, waving toys or holding game consoles, I needed to be responsible for the housework of the whole family alone, and I needed to find ways to get along with my crazy father, and try to survive under his beatings and insults.

Even if I tried to understand him, sympathize with him, and help him, I would not get any reward. Just after cleaning and throwing away the garbage, he would throw garbage all over the house again after a while. If I got good grades, he would say that I was too proud and beat me. If I got bad grades, he would beat me even more severely. There was no reason at all, just because he was upset with me, he would come up and beat me up. As for himself, he was just wasting time at work, and when he got home, he would sleep every day, watch TV and programs every day, smoke and drink alone, and do nothing else.

I spent many years like this, and almost every day of my life was spent under the shadow of this father. At that time, I even preferred to stay in school, although because my clothes were dirty and torn, I was often injured, and I didn’t talk much, so almost no one wanted to play with me. But at least when I was in school, I didn’t have to face that person’s face or hear his voice.

I remember my elementary school teacher, she talked to us many times, telling us that people should have dreams and pursuits, and asked us what kind of people we want to be in the future.

I couldn’t answer such questions because I never thought about my future.

Just surviving right now is hard enough for me.

not understand.

Really, there is no way to understand.

Why these people can spend every day smiling.

Why can they look forward to tomorrow so happily.

Why can everyone talk about their future ideals so naturally?

He talks about wanting to be an astronaut or a cartoonist, but he obviously doesn’t know what he is talking about. He doesn’t even understand what level of knowledge and skills are required for these professions, so he dares to say that he wants to this way.

Is it really that interesting?

I do not understand.

When I wake up every morning, I just feel bad and want to sleep forever or just die.

I just feel exhausted when I go to bed every night. Even if I haven't done anything all day, I will feel as tired as if I can't breathe.

The wounds on the body have healed, but new wounds will appear soon.

Sometimes, even though there are no injuries on the body for the time being, one still feels inexplicable pain all over the body.

Sometimes I really feel like I'm rotten, maybe I've really started to stink and have maggots.

elementary, middle, and high school……

After all these years of studying, I really haven’t made a single friend.

Not only did I have no friends, I was constantly being bullied. When I was in elementary school and junior high school, I seemed to be just being alienated. After I reached high school, a group of people appeared out of nowhere and bullied me in different ways every day. But compared to that person, it's not that bad now. But that's not necessarily the case. It's like these people have brain problems and their methods are getting worse and worse. I don’t understand why this kind of lunatic can run around in the school, but as long as I can avoid them, it shouldn’t be a big problem. Anyway, after so many years, I have become proficient in how to avoid such people.

But, I still feel very irritable.

The teacher was talking about the future and asked us to think about what we want to do in the future.

Is the future, the future, the future, etc. so important? Is it okay to discuss this kind of thing happily?

I can't imagine my future. I can't imagine what I will do in the future. I can't imagine it at all.

I don't even understand what I'm doing now.

Ah, speaking of it...it seems that I haven't discovered this before. In fact, I don't know how I spend every day. I just live in a hazy way, as if I turned myself into a plant. It's just that Just alive.

Just living like this makes me so exhausted that I can't even imagine the future.

What's the point of living?

Would it be better if he died?

Anyway, my current life is no different from death...

Ah, it turns out that it is like this. I am actually no different from the dead people...

It turns out that's all it is...

…

So, what are you doing here?

…

What, are you a teacher?

…

But I haven’t seen you, or are you not the teacher of my current grade?

…

Uh, want to see the kitten?

…

I don't quite understand what this means, and I don't really like animals like cats and dogs. But... forget it, okay, okay, you can go as you say, I don't have anything to do anyway.

…

Well, let's go, teacher.

…

…

…

【teacher】

The one who called himself a teacher took him to see the cat teacher.

The teacher who led him to the playground on a rainy day and found Miaunai who was dying after being abused.

Originally, he didn't want to care about the kitten that was still bleeding, but the guy was still struggling and never died. And what should I say, seeing that little thing twisting and turning in the rain made me feel very bad. Forget it, I don’t have much to do anyway, so I’ll just make some trouble for myself.