Winter Swan

"No one ever comes here, so don't worry, Jamal. You can relax now."

When Silje explained to him slowly, Jamal seemed to relax a little.

"I hope you understand. Your boyfriend is very scary, Silje. Haha."

With his innocent eyes, Jamal looked up at Silje and asked, "By the way, why were you looking for me?"

Silje stared at the gray stairs she often used to sit to get away from her bullies. Only the maintenance man came up here from time to time to check the boiler.

It was a nice safe place for her and Silje felt strange being here again with her changed situation.

When she remained quiet, Jamal looked confused. He asked her again.

"Um, did you want to talk to me, Silje?"

"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about the past. Whenever I had a rough day, I would come up here. The bullies wouldn't follow me up here, so I could rest safely. This was the only place where I could relax."

When she explained nonchalantly, Jamal looked up at her.

"Oh, I see. Well, then I should come up here sometimes too. It looks like a great place to eat my sandwich alone. I'd been hoping to find a quiet place for myself."

When he blinked at her, Silje coughed and asked, "Umm… Jamal, is your hand okay? You got hurt that time in the storage building… right?"

"My hand? Oh, it's fine. It stung so I went to the hospital and the doctor cleaned and bandaged it for me. I wasn't able to shower for three days so it was annoying, but other than that, it was fine. It got better."

"I'm sorry, Jamal. I came to you because I wanted to apologize. I wanted to do it for a long time. It's something I should've done a long time ago."

When she apologized sincerely, Jamal looked surprised and confused.

"Oh… An apology?"

Jamal scratched his head and explained, "Um…. There is no need for you to do that. It wasn't your fault."

"But it happened because of me, so I want to apologize for getting you into trouble."

It had been bothering Silje and she felt better now that she got it off her chest. After a few seconds of silence, Jamal replied to her sincerely.

"It's alright. It's all in the past. As you can see, I am perfectly fine. Please, Silje, you should forget about it too, okay? There is no need to say sorry."

Silje was starting to feel much better until Jamal added, "I'm really fine. Besides, I think it's actually a good thing it happened."

Jamal smiled widely as he explained. He seemed very excited.

"I'm really glad it happened. After I got dragged away by your boyfriend, no one bullies me anymore. I've been living a rather quiet life since then."

Silje became speechless while he continued happily.

After his story, Silje became silent. When he looked at her expectantly, Silje said to him, "I was just like you, Jamal. Now I try my best to fight back, but in the past, I wanted to escape this life just like you. I even jumped off the building to get away from my bullies. To be honest, I used to feel like I would do anything if I could just get away from being bullied. Whatever it took… To escape the pain… If someone told me I wouldn't be bullied anymore by eating a dead mouse, I would've done it."

When she looked determined and serious, Jamal just blinked at her. Silje quietly pulled up her sleeves and showed him the scar on her wrist.

"It's true that I am seeing Kail, but I will never forget it. No matter how calm I act on the outside, I know how I feel on the inside. I may be able to fool other people, but I can't fool myself. I will not forget what he did to me. I can never forget it."

Silje looked straight into his eyes and emphasized, "So you should never forget it either, Jamal. Don't ever forget what happened to you in this school and when you successfully graduate, you should go out into the world and make your dreams come true."

Silje waved at Jamal who was nodding sadly.

"That is what I want, Jamal. I'm sorry again for what happened. I will see you later."

She didn't forget. She wouldn't forget.

Silje remembered everything, and by doing so, she knew she was hurting herself. But no matter what, she didn't regret accepting Kail into her life. It was her choice and she had to take responsibility for it.

***

Now, there was one last thing Silje had to do today.

She wasn't afraid to do it. This was necessary for her own peace of mind as well.

Silje had to face him.

She had to go see Kail.

"Look! The Asian queen is here."

"What is she doing here?"

Silje confidently walked down the hallway and ignored those who whispered about her.

Kids stared openly, but Silje didn't care anymore. She walked into Kail's classroom and all eyes turned to her. The kids, including Felicien and Gunther, were wondering why she was here when she didn't take this class.

Silje ignored everyone; her eyes were on only one man. With her head held high, she walked toward him.

Gunther laughed loudly, "Haha. Look who's here!"

Gunhild announced, "Well, well. It's the Asian queen. What brings Her Highness here?"

Silje didn't answer them.

Her eyes were focused on Kail who was sitting at the back of the classroom.

"…"

The excitement and interest fill the room, but Silje acted calmly.

And finally, she stopped in front of him.

Even though Silje was openly staring at him, Kail continued to read his novel as if nothing was happening. He was reading "The Forest of the Hanged Foxes".

Watching him, she realized that he was still the same. All Kail was doing was reading a book, but his presence in the room was unmistakable.

Black sweater, messy hair, and relaxed yet bored eyes.

The cruel king.

He looked powerful and dangerous and she couldn't take her eyes off him.

"The purpose of your visit please?" Kail asked in an amused tone. A very faint smile was on his face. It was a smile that appeared only when Silje was around.

"This Saturday at noon. Vigeland Park. Meet me there."

Silje announced it to him like a secret code and walked away immediately.

Kail started to laugh out loud, amused by Silje's date plan. He continued laughing for a long time.