Zhui Xu

The family is eating out and getting the door in the afternoon. After entering the age of twenty, another ten years have passed. This may be the first time I can't hide in the room on the New Year's Eve to play games and write a year. The past year has been an extremely important year for me. Of course, it is also recently that I have been very keenly aware that every year in the past is an extremely important age for me.

In the 1920s, on the whole, it was a ten years of panic and embarrassment. You should not be publicized when you should be publicized, you should not think too much when you think about it, and you should have made mistakes when you should have made mistakes. These have been said in my essays in the past.

A good life may be like this: in the first half of life, do the addition, we will experience the interesting things one by one, slowly accumulate the mistakes of the offense, and some of the crises, wait until the life In the second half, start doing subtraction, and remove unnecessary things one by one.

In the 1920s, people should be doing additions. However, I have already done a subtraction. Everything that can interfere with my thoughts is almost thrown away. Looking back now, this whole decade, except for the beginning, I went out to work. Later, I was left with the jigsaw and struggle between writing books and making money. You are not mistaken, writing good books and making big money, very big. To a certain extent, they are opposite.

I often regret this when I have enough rational thinking skills. Of course, there is no need to regret it now.

After marriage, I often feel that I have entered a completely different stage. There are many things that can be put down, not thinking about it at all, such as women, such as temptation, such as possibility. Of course, there are more trivial things that I have never touched before. This morning, my wife said that it has been more than two decades since I got married. It is true that there have been too many changes.

For example, when I coded this text, she was holding a comb to comb me into a stupid shape, which made me very entangled to beat her.

Ok, it’s not for show love, but... I’ve been thinking about it lately, is my life going to the next half, which often makes me panic because the first half is really too fast. . If the first half is so fast, whether or not there will be one day in the future, I am standing on the boundary of 60 years old, and I suddenly find that the second half will also come to an end. I feel very clear that there will be one day.

I thought of my parents. When I first saw them, they were still young, full of energy and edges. Now they have a white hair on their heads. They are very happy when they see me getting married, and I will be The family moved out and formed a new family with his wife. Sooner or later, when I return home, I will see that they are getting older. Sooner or later, I will send them away, and then recall their youthful vitality and a happy smile at this time.

I also think of everyone I met in my life. I thought that the grandmother who was sitting in the doorway of the community at this time was probably half a year ago. I suddenly wanted to write "Hidden Kill", and then added a few chapters to write Jiaming and Ling. When they were forty years old, when they were 50, they wrote each other when they were 60 years old and 70 years old. I wrote an article every few years. We saw them grow up and then they can see them. Slowly getting older. So we will see the passage of their entire lives. I have thought about these articles for a long time, and later I thought, let everyone see the warmth and obedience of their lives. Is it also cruel, when I wrote about seventy? When they are, the warmth of their past will become a cruelty to the readers. Then he was hesitant about his own pen.

Of course, the main reason why I didn’t write it later was because of the severe punishment. In order to avoid the suspicion, the "hidden kill" was temporarily blocked. Well, wait until I have more insight into these things, then consider writing it.

I am afraid of this, but it is undeniable that if you get married, all the regrets you have can be zeroed. Even in the second half, I can easily start over again. As Haruki Murakami said, one day, the elephant will return to the wilderness.

Even if the wilderness at this time is not the one that was once, in any case, it is once again coming to the wilderness.

Fortunately, compared to the ignorance and powerlessness of being in the wilderness, I have my own career, have my own three views, and have my own direction. It is not necessary to say that I need to be resigned.

I also think of you.

When I am sixty years old, where are you going? Among my readers, I am a lot older than me. I have this fashion in junior high school. What will you look like in a few decades? I can't imagine the changes in these decades. The only certainty is that that day will come sooner or later.

I only write books, I will continue to write books, improve my writing ability, in the next 20 to 30 years, as long as my thinking is still energetic, this effort will not stop. This is my goal set in the 30th birthday of the New Year.

“The elephant will return to the plains one day, and I will paint the world in a more beautiful language.”

Time is the most cruel and ruthless, I hope everyone can grasp the moment at this moment.

I wish you all a happy new year. ^_^

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