Zongman I fight weirdness in everyday world

“It's not… are you trying to share me with Eriri? The problem is… you didn't even ask for my opinion as the person involved. The first time is directly with three people, I didn't expect Kasumigaoka-san to be so open.”

“Get lost, what do you mean three people together?”

Kasumigaoka Utaha frowned slightly, her face displeased.

“Even if it's three people together, I would never be with that golden chihuahua. Never, ever in this lifetime!”

“You really do like Eriri.”

“Hmph, like? Don't be ridiculous.”

Kasumigaoka Utaha twirled her black hair, snorted softly, and revealed a disdainful expression.

“In my heart, she's just a golden chihuahua who likes to bark randomly but is timid to the extreme. What kind of person am I, Kasumigaoka Utaha, to be mentioned in the same breath as this kind of person who suppresses her true feelings and is always acting and pretending to be a perfect girl? It's truly a great humiliation.”

Hearing this, Yae Hoshi finally understood why Kasumigaoka Utaha wasn't harsh to others, but specifically targeted Eriri.

On one hand, Kasumigaoka Utaha really treated Eriri as an acquaintance, even a friend. On the other hand, Kasumigaoka Utaha was the only person in Private Toyosaki Academy who saw through Eriri's true nature as an otaku. She didn't like Eriri's way of deliberately acting as a perfect beautiful girl at school.

If you really want to say it…

It's a bit like Yui Yuigahama and Yukino Yukinoshita from before. One person is hiding their true self, and the other person sees this and feels that it's not good, so they want the other person to stop pretending.

Yukino Yukinoshita's method was to speak frankly, while Kasumigaoka Utaha's method was to deliberately provoke Eriri.

Yae Hoshi didn't want to comment on whether this approach was right or wrong, but judging from the fact that Eriri was constantly being verbally abused by Kasumigaoka Utaha, but was still willing to talk to her…

Eriri seemed to be enjoying it too.

…

Several hours later, in the early hours of the morning.

“Kasumi Fatty, Kasumi Fatty, open the door for me!!!”

Hearing the hotel room door being knocked on, Kasumigaoka Utaha, who was already drowsy but stubbornly staying awake, calmly stood up, first tidied her skirt, then twirled her hair, and finally slowly walked over and opened the door.

“What's with all the yelling? As expected of a golden chihuahua, always noisy no matter where she goes.”

Wearing her JK uniform, Eriri didn't have the leisure to banter with Kasumigaoka Utaha. She just barged into the room, looked around, and frowned tightly.

“Where's Yae Hoshi? What did you do to him!?”

“Hehe.”

Kasumigaoka Utaha closed the hotel room door, then turned around, staring at Eriri with a playful smile, word by word.

“Shouldn't it be said… what did he do to me? This girl… I’m still a virgin…”

As she said this, a blush appeared on Kasumigaoka Utaha's face, her acting was seamless.

“First, first, first time!? You… you lustful sow, how dare you…”

Seeing Eriri looking anxious and frustrated, as if the sky had fallen, Kasumigaoka Utaha sat on the sofa, propped her chin up with one hand, and crossed her long and full legs, chuckling.

“Hehe, you fall for it with just a little teasing, as expected of a brainless golden chihuahua.”

“You… you…”

“Okay, let's talk business, keep it down, Yae Hoshi is sleeping.”

“Sleeping!? You guys really…”

“Nothing happened, that's enough.”

Kasumigaoka Utaha made a shushing gesture and pointed to the empty sofa next to her. Eriri bit her lip. Although she didn't understand what this lustful sow was up to, she could only walk over and sit down, waiting for her to continue.

“Ahem.”

Kasumigaoka Utaha coughed lightly, as if it were the starting gesture for activating a skill. Then, she looked directly into Eriri's eyes and slowly opened her mouth.

“You like Yae Hoshi, don't you?”

“Eh? I… this… that…”

Hearing this, Eriri's face instantly turned red, stammering and unable to speak.

Seeing this, Kasumigaoka Utaha looked like she hated iron for not becoming steel, and poked Eriri's forehead with her index finger.

“Looking like this, how dare you ask anything? Whether you knew him or not, whether you knew his true identity or not, you were the first to come, how dare you ask? Looking like this, even if you were born knowing Yae Hoshi, occupying all the advantages of time and place, you would never win, because you yourself are useless!”

Eriri was speechless and unable to refute.

Mainly, in this competition, compared to her opponent Kasumigaoka Utaha, she had a truly heavenly start. Not only did she have the natural advantage of being a loyal fan and supporter of "Masquerade", but she also knew Yae Hoshi's true identity. In fact… the first time she met Yae Hoshi was during that dangerous kidnapping incident, where she was rescued by him.

As a result, despite having so many advantages, Eriri was still overtaken by Kasumigaoka Utaha, and not by a small margin. The reason was…

Too much hesitation led to defeat.

“You don't even dare to admit that you like him?”

Kasumigaoka Utaha glanced at Eriri and said lightly.

“You don't even dare to admit it, what are you going to use to compete with me? Huh?”

Seeing Kasumigaoka Utaha's provocative appearance and hearing her mocking words, Eriri couldn't bear it any longer, her face flushed red, and she clenched her fists.

“I… I just like him, so what!? Do you want to have a showdown!?”

“Showdown? Showdown for what?”

Faced with Eriri's declaration of war, Kasumigaoka Utaha just shook her head, and said with a calm expression.

“Although I would love to see you fall into deep despair after completely failing due to your twisted personality, regretting to the point of mental distortion, but I have already discovered the reason why the final volume of my novel has been unable to be written.”

Kasumigaoka Utaha sighed slightly and said softly.

“According to the protagonist's personality, he will not accept an ending where any of the female characters are hurt.”

“An ending where no one is hurt? What are you talking about…”

Eriri looked puzzled and snorted softly.

“Since everyone harbors feelings of love for the protagonist, there will always be a dividing line between the loser and the winner in the end. How is it possible for everyone to be unharmed? Where is there such a perfect ending?”

“No, there is.”

Utaha Kasumigaoka stared directly at Eriri Spencer Sawamura's face and slowly said.

"Isn't an ending where no one gets hurt already right in front of us?"

"You mean… Overload's girls?"

Eriri's face showed shock, and she said in disbelief.

"That… that… Her relationship with Yozora… it shouldn't be that kind of relationship, right…"

"'Shouldn't be' my foot."

Utaha Kasumigaoka was amused by her reaction and said unhappily.

"You, how long are you going to be so oblivious? It's so obvious, how can you not see it? Tell me, that Rio Futaba, that Mai Sakurajima, that Yui Yuigahama, Touma Kazusa, and all the other Overload members, is that the look of someone who's been rejected or is secretly in love? It's obvious that when they look at Yozora, it's the look of a girl in love! How oblivious can you be!?"

"Ah… is that how it is…"

Silence fell in the room.

Eriri really didn't see it, and thought that Yozora and the Overload members were just working together to save the world, but after hearing Utaha Kasumigaoka's words, thinking about it carefully…

Could it be… a real harem?

"I don't want you to win, but…"

Speaking of which, Utaha Kasumigaoka stood up, sat next to Eriri, brushed her long black hair behind her ear, and said faintly.

"But, I don't want to lose even more, so between a double loss and a double win, I'd rather choose to win together with you, so… what's your choice?"

"My choice…"

Eriri pursed her lips, a faint blush appearing on her cheeks, and said reluctantly in a low voice.

"Although having to share my favorite person with you, the person I hate the most, makes me very unwilling… but since it's already like this… I can only agree… But let me say this first, my ranking has to be higher than yours!"

"Heh heh, without me, you probably wouldn't be able to join the battle in this lifetime, and you want your ranking to be higher than mine? A mere golden-haired chihuahua, how dare you try to be ahead of me?"

"You…"

Just as Eriri Spencer Sawamura and Utaha Kasumigaoka were arguing, the door of the bedroom was directly pulled open, and Yozora leaned against the door frame, interrupting with a smile.

"You two are still too naive, you don't understand what a real pure love harem is."

"What makes it a pure love harem? And how can you avoid the cruel love triangle and stomach-ache plot?"

"There's only one answer, and that is…"

"Treat everyone wholeheartedly, with absolute fairness without any discrimination, and the one-way, two-way arrows between all the female characters and the male protagonist are absolutely impossible! The female characters must also have two-way arrows of friendship with each other. The so-called pure love harem is that everyone has deep bonds with each other, so deep that they are willing to sacrifice their lives to save another person. Only then can everyone live happily together, this…"

"Is the perfect pure love harem ending where no one gets hurt."

Hearing the great harem god's explanation, Utaha Kasumigaoka and Eriri Spencer Sawamura, who were originally arguing, suddenly felt ashamed.

Too great.

Yozora's body seemed to be emitting a holy light, making them both afraid to look directly at him.

So that's how it is, so that's how it is…

Is this the pure love harem god who can really create a perfect harem in real life that only exists in that distant utopia!?

This kind of vision… compared to that, I'm arguing for the illusory so-called ranking…

It's really too small.

… …

The next day, in the morning, inside the Overload apartment building.

"Hey, how could you run directly to the source land of the Tokyo Reverse Side without saying a word? Have you ever thought about what if it was the enemy's trap? What if you got trapped there and couldn't get out?"

Mai Sakurajima stepped heavily on Yozora's foot, tears appearing in her eyes, obviously really angry.

"That… Mai-senpai, don't blame him…"

Yui Yuigahama quickly smoothed things over.

"At that time, only Yozora could completely eliminate the source land… Besides… didn't he come back safely and retrieve part of his power… Don't be angry, and don't cry…"

"Heh heh."

Kazusa Touma, who was sitting on the sofa, sneered twice.

"Tuanzi, you're just too used to him."

After saying that, Kazusa Touma stood up, walked straight to Yozora, and said slowly with a calm expression.

"If you die, I'll commit suicide. Anyway, if you die, I don't want to live anymore."

"Hey hey hey, don't do the heavy girl thing."

Yozora waved his hand quickly upon hearing this, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

"What are you guys doing? I just can't die, and… I've also thought of a once-and-for-all method, not only to clear the Reverse Sides of Kyoto, Osaka, and Tokyo, but also to clean up all the evil spirits in the real world that pose a threat to humans and harbor evil thoughts."

Rio Futaba frowned upon hearing this.

"You don't want to go alone again, do you? Although Kyoto and Osaka don't have as many people as Tokyo, they still have several million combined. You don't just want us to wait obediently outside while you clean up the evil spirits in the source land alone, do you?"

Yozora shook his head.

"That won't happen, that's too inefficient. I just thought of the most efficient solution."

Then, he looked at Hina Amano, who was sitting on the sofa, and smiled.

"Of course, that method requires Hina's ability."

… …

Later that day, in a beautiful cemetery on the outskirts of Kyoto.

"Buddy, I'm here to see you."

Yozora and Kaguya Shinomiya stood together, looking at the photo of Gan'an Shinomiya on the tombstone, and next to it, the smiling portrait of Kaguya Shinomiya's mother, Nayatake, slowly inverted the can of frozen Coca-Cola in his hand that had been opened and poured it on the ground in front of the tombstone.

"If you ask me, all the tea and red wine you drank when you were alive can't compare to mine. This is the exclusive drink of the strongest exorcist."

Kaguya Shinomiya, who was standing aside, reached out and gently stroked the tombstone in front of her, and murmured.