About me becoming a beautiful girl

All of a sudden, I lost my purpose in life.

Holding the letter paper tightly in his hand, he sat on the side of the road in pain, his heart hurt, it hurts!"

A

hand tapped me on the shoulder, and Feng Hao sat down next to me and glanced at me slightly.

Bai Ge knew that you would be uncomfortable, so he always wanted to draw a line with you after being diagnosed, but .....

" "......"

I still can't accept this reality, silently clenching the letter paper in my hand, even if my nails poke into the flesh, I don't care at all.

My chest was tight, and I suddenly had a ridiculous thought.

"Suicide. The

letter paper in my hand had been crumpled and even torn by me, and I didn't care at all, I just felt a little weakness in my whole body, so I just lay on the ground and looked up at the sky.

I smiled wryly.

Why do you have the idea of suicide, probably because I want to accompany Bai Ge, my guilt and regret for him fill my heart.

I never thought it would be the last time I saw him.

I may have been devastated, I never thought I would be so vulnerable.

My brain gradually calmed down, and I felt like I was stuck in a sea of self-blame.

Trembling took out the phone, swiped his finger to unlock the screen, and popped directly into the penguin's chat bar, the expression between me and him in the background picture was so funny, his appearance was forever frozen in that moment.

I looked at Bai Ge's face on the background picture and fell into a wry smile, and my hand involuntarily stroked it, but it could only touch the cold screen.

Feng Hao and I fell into a long silence.

After a long time, a pungent smell of smoke brought my lost attention back, and I turned my head to lock my eyes on the cigarette in Feng Hao's mouth.

"Do you still have a cigarette?"

I don't actually smoke, but my heart is pumping weirdly right now, and I want to smoke a cigarette.

After all, Bai Ge used to smoke too.

Feng Hao looked at me hesitantly, and the hand holding the cigarette case was a little hesitant.

I grabbed the cigarette case, took out one and stuffed it into my mouth, lit the fire, and the thick spicy smell almost choked me to death, choking me on the ground and coughing wildly.

It's very uncomfortable, but I feel better.

Holding back the discomfort, I took another puff, and this time the choked tears flowed out, and I was still smoking.

The brain feels more and more dizzy, and there are bouts of vertigo.

A few people occasionally pass by on the street, and some of them will point fingers at me, probably because they think this little girl is not good at studying, and she smokes on the street or something.

It doesn't matter, I don't care.

The sky was overcast, just like my mood, not knowing if it was going to rain or snow.

The cigarette is not very good to smoke, I don't understand why Bai Ge used to smoke it, a cold wind blows, and a drop of rain drops on my face, it is very cold.

The cigarette in my hand fell to the ground unconsciously, and I tilted my head to meet the cold raindrops.

"Bang dang-"

fell straight in the rain, his ears seemed to be Feng Hao's shout, and his shoulders were lifted by two hands.

"Where is Bai Ge now?"

"He's no longer in this world. Feng Hao didn't say a word and wanted to drag me up from the ground, "He asked me to help him buy a cemetery before he was hospitalized, and I only learned about his situation at that time." "

Graveyard ....." I struggled and struggled to stand up, not caring about the stains on my body.

"Take me there. "

Where are you going?" Feng Hao's tone softened slightly.

"Go see him. "