About me becoming a beautiful girl

The cemetery in Cub City.

This is my first time here.

The sky was overcast, and the foggy raindrops were falling on me, and it was cold.

Pushing Feng Hao's umbrella open and feeling the rain on my body made me feel alive.

I don't know which one Bai Ge's tombstone is, and Feng Hao didn't tell me.

Then, the next few minutes became the hardest minutes of my life.

I looked at the names on the tombstones one by one like crazy, and got up when I fell.

I was as lost as a little girl who had lost her favorite toy.

It's hard to find him.

I wish I couldn't find his tombstone, so he might not have died.

As I got closer to the back of the cemetery, there were fewer and fewer tombstones in front of me, and I became more and more afraid.

I don't want to see Bai Ge's name printed on the tombstone.

By the end, I knelt in front of the last tombstone.

I laughed, laughed from the heart, laughed like crazy.

"No...... No...... No!"

There is no tombstone of Bai Ge here, and the last tombstone is not engraved with a name.

"Bai Ge is not dead! Bai Ge is not dead! Bai Ge is not dead!!"

"This is what I bought for Bai Ge." "

Feng Hao, who came at some point, came with a black umbrella and walked step by step, and the direction was the tombstone in front of me.

His footsteps were getting closer, the water on the ground was splashed, and my heart was shattered.

I turned my head stupidly and looked at the nameless tombstone in front of me.

Regretted it.

I really regret it.

If I had known, even if Bai Ge scolded me and beat me, I would not have left him.

I wailed inwardly and fell to my knees and hugged it.

hugged this tombstone belonging to Bai Ge.

"I'm sorry....... I'm sorry....... I'm sorry......"

By the end, the continuous apologies had turned into choking, and it was as if the devil was whispering in my ear, angrily denouncing my ignorance.

Why didn't I find out earlier, it's so obvious.

Why!

The rain is still falling.....

Feng Hao stood aside, with a black umbrella in his hand as if he was here to attend the funeral.

But this is not a funeral.

Feng Hao, who died of Bai Ge, didn't know.

He did not receive a message.

Bai Ge just left, lonely and quietly.

I can imagine him lying in a hospital bed at the end of his life without me.

Would he have wanted to see me then?

And what was I doing at the time? I hated him, hated him!

I damn it!

I smiled wryly, and cracked an ugly smile at Feng Hao, my hair sticking to my face, I guess it was funny.

"Can you let me be alone with Bai Ge for a while

?" "Is it okay?"

Before I knew it, I had already used a pleading tone.

"Hmm. Feng Hao's voice was low, I knew he was not comfortable, he did all his obligations, he kept the secret.

I don't hate him, this is Bai Ge's choice.

The rain was dripping down my neck, it was very cold, and the umbrella was left aside by Feng Hao, but I didn't take it.

Gently put your shoulders on the tombstone and rest your head on it, just like you used to lean on Bai Ge's shoulders.

I touched the cold and wet tombstone, and his warm body temperature still lingered on my shoulders and my hands.

"Good night, Bai Ge. "

...........

The rain stopped.

Walking out of the cemetery, Feng Hao was leaning on the car waiting for me, and after seeing me, he didn't say anything, so he got up and opened the co-pilot's door for me.

I smiled at him and said thank you, but instead of going in, I walked in the other direction.

The inner turmoil has disappeared after leaving the cemetery, completely gone.

Because I left my heart in the cemetery, I will always accompany Bai Ge.

"Where are you going?" Feng

Hao's voice came from behind me, and my hand was pulled from behind.

"I want to walk alone, can I?"

I said in an almost pleading tone, not caring about the other people's eyes.

The phone was held in my hand, and the screen lit up with a photo of me and Bai Ge.

"Oh well. The

wind brought his answer to my ears.

..........

I don't know where I'm going,

I guess I want to go to the rental house where I've lived with Bai Ge for a long time.

Pedestrians couldn't understand why I didn't go home and change my clothes when I was soaking wet.

There were a lot of doubts and puzzled eyes, and even some people took the initiative to take off their clothes and wanted to put them on for me, but I refused with an ugly smile.

It's so far, it's still a long way from me and Bai Ge.

Walking on the bridge across the river, I suddenly remembered, yes, can the distance between life and death be not far?

Probably caused by the rain, I was extremely tired and dizzy.

I don't think it's physical tiredness, it's soul, the soul's deep escape from this world.

I want to go to a world where there are white songs.

I leaned against the guardrail by the bridge, my hair sticking to my face, the rain drying out in the sun.

This confused ........ Life .....

I sighed and walked off the bridge.

Standing on the edge of the river under the bridge, this is a cement platform, there used to be a lot of fishermen here, but now there is no one here.

The river is fairly calm and not as turbulent as usual.

I sighed and wanted to sit on the fishing platform.

But it was getting darker and darker, and my feet seemed to be empty

, and when I reacted, I only felt that the river was pouring into my mouth.

I want to struggle but I don't feel like I have the strength to do it.

My chest was so stuffy, I couldn't breathe, and I was so uncomfortable ......

So be it.

The distance between life and death is not so difficult to cross.