D.E.M.O.N.S: Getting Summoned Weekly isn't so Bad

--- Kat ---

"So there you have it, that's how we lost to a bunch of clowns," said Vanya. "What about you Burgandy? Any interesting stories?" 

"Hang on," said Burgandy. "I still have a whole bunch of questions like, what powers does The Big Cheese have?" Kat felt her face twitching as the sound of all the air escaping a balloon played over the top of 'The Big Cheese' "Or other questions like 'what did the Clowns actually do' and maybe their political agenda. Stuff like that. I'd never heard of them before… and I can barely imagine a group like that surviving for so long. Obviously they have if Ulf is willing to vouch to at least knowing about them, but this… this is crazy!" 

Vanya let out a groan, "Eugh, every time I think about the Clowns I feel like I'm getting a migraine. That's not counting the sore throat from saying The Big Cheese. There's something wrong with that name, but I can't put my finger on why. Just… I really wanted to change it, or abbreviate it… but I've heard things, and I'd say it's better not to risk it," 

"Well how about you focus on that?" said Burgandy. "What sort of bad things have happened to people who shorten The Big Cheese's name?" 

Vanya shook her head rapidly and kept her mouth firmly closed. "Right well Vanya's decided to be a downer about things, then I guess I'll have to be the bigger woman in this situation and explain what we know," said Marigold while emphasising her chest. Clearly the part she was most concerned about. 

The others listened as Marigold spoke. "So, this was just in a big folder, and we don't always know who the person was before The Big Cheese decided to mess around with things. So just take these as snapshots. Now, I don't think The Big Cheese is going after everyone who messes with their name, but as I did say the folder was big, so it's still a common enough occurrence that nobody wants to risk it. 

"The most common punishment is for you to wake up one day looking like you're made out of cheese. It's just an illusion, and every test we have records of shows that they aren't made of cheese in truth. I haven't seen it in person, but apparently the most insidious part of the illusion is that everyone looking at you thinks you're a talking cheese person and nobody can seem to remember their names. 

"This is part of the reason why we don't know who everyone was. A lot of people refused to tell us their names so we could note it down, but from what we know this illusion isn't permanent so they turn back eventually. It's hard to say what the average time is. Looking through the folder it's wildly inconsistent. Apparently there was once an instance of a researcher watching a friend of his change into cheese, and then back all within thirty seconds. They didn't have time to do any tests at the time. 

"That's an old record though, and not one with a lot of details. Another one has records of someone who looked like they were cheese for a decade. The person in question refused to give their name, but they stayed under observation for the full decade before finally turning back into their original form… at which point that shouted 'PRAISE THE BIG CHEESE' turned into a Clown and teleported away. 

"Some speculation regarding them is that they were actually a member of the Clowns being punished for something, but that's never been confirmed. So yeah, that's the common punishment. The next most common is that you wake up with a purple tongue. Just that. No major changes. One person said that they tasted cumquats in everything while they had a purple tongue, but nobody else had that symptom so the researchers weren't sure why that was happening or if it was even related to the purple tongue thing," 

"That seems remarkably tame," said Burgandy. 

Marigold shrugged and said, "Perhaps. I mean, I guess it's for civilians? The research notes weren't particularly good about that sort of thing, usually only noting how strong someone was if they provided that information or they worked for the crown. I mean, what you're saying makes sense, but I just couldn't say," 

"You know you seem to remember a lot about these Clowns considering neither you or Burnice mentioned them when we were asking for interesting stories," said Lily. 

Marigold stuck her tongue out and said, "Well it's not like the fight was interesting, and at least for myself personally, I was assuming you'd all know about the Clowns. Not sure why, obviously you and Kat wouldn't at the very least but… they're just sort of around? A thing that I hear about every now and again, but not like… a threat. It's the sort of common breakroom conversation that comes up often with the guards, or the researchers I hear about sometimes," 

Burnice just shrugged without answering so Lily asked, "Is it really worth having a research team focusing on them?" 

Marigold made a 'so-so' gesture, "Sort of? Perhaps not in the way you think. We don't really care about cracking their secrets in order to capture them, not really. Even if that's something we might tell people from time to time. No, the reason we research them is all of their effects are extremely novel and tend to lead into other useful research. 

"That cheese illusion? Studying that let us figure out how to find some of the hidden bases Aes had as well as help see through illusions of a few animals that have caused problems in our forest over the years. The purple dye on the tongue? Turns out it's a really good cure for a sore throat and the purple is part of a mechanism that lets you know it's working. It's the second biggest reason we don't go after them much, if at all. They help out in the oddest ways, and cause minimal true damage," 

"Huh…" said Lily. [You know… now I sort of want to get into that research team.]

*Lily you don't know anything about making potions and I doubt high school chemistry is going to help. As for enchantments… I think we know even less. Why do you suddenly want this?*

[It just sounds so fascinating! The sort of strange research that could result in just about anything! I know it's not realistic, and I probably won't get a chance… for a while that is. If TBC has been around this long I doubt they're going to just disappear in the next few decades.]

Kat was going to say something else when Lily sneezed and suddenly she was wearing a large afro that had a full rainbow of colours. "You disrespected The Big Cheese didn't you?" said Marigold. 

"Eerr… I just abbreviated their name while talking to Kat. IN MY HEAD. How did they even know?" said Lily. 

Marigold shrugged and said, "That's just how it is. I didn't know it worked even if you just thought anything other than The Big Cheese when talking about them, but I guess that's nice to know. It means I can add my own report to the paper!"

Lily pulled at the afro a bit, as the material was making her ears itch… and the whole thing just came off with a bit of effort. Lily looked at the afro in her hand. "Huh… that was… really easy to remove. Thanks The Big Cheese. That's correct right? I need the The as well?" 

"Yeah you do," confirmed Marigold. "I'm a little surprised it was so easy for you to 'deal with' the punishment. I think there has been a few records of people getting colourful afros but I'm pretty sure it changed their actual hair, and it wasn't just a wig. I wonder why it's a wig this time?" 

"I've got no idea," said Lily with a shrug. "Would you like to keep it?" 

"Yeah that will be awesome. Mint, could you put it in my room whenever? It's no rush," said Marigold. 

"Of course princess," said Mint with a grin on her face. 

Lily nodded and passed the afro over to Mint who looked it over for a few seconds before putting it on her own head. "Interesting," 

"What is?" asked Lily. 

"It feels strange to have a wig on as well as my current hair. I wonder if it would be more comfortable had I removed the access hair? I don't think I've tried out a wig before… then again you could argue my normal hair is a wig. Hmm… something to think about," said Mint.

Kat and Lily watched for a few seconds and saw that Mint was making no move to remove the afro despite saying it felt strange. "So… you're just going to keep wearing it?" asked Kat. 

"Assuming Marigold has no issue. This is an interesting experience," said Mint. 

"You go for it girl!" said Marigold with a big thumbs up.

"Once again, thank you princess," said Mint. Marigold grumbled a bit at that but she didn't say anything this time.