Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

A week had passed since I'd received my Student Adventurer Card, but it had been kind of a letdown so far.

First of all, let me explain something about distance and travel in this world. I'd previously mentioned that the Rustlands was down in the south, and the area I lived in was somewhere in the left side of the country. This world may be smaller than my old world, but since vehicles weren't a thing here, covering long distances took ages.

The Academy was also around the left side of the Rustlands, and about fifteen minutes away from the inn I stay at.

The Rustlands Stadium was about a six hour walk from the inn, though that time would be cut in half if you ran or hitched a ride on a horse-drawn carriage or cart, which there were plenty of roaming around the streets.

The royal castle was in the center of the country, and about an hour an two away from the stadium by foot.

The walls surrounding the Rustlands were in a circular shape, and to travel from one end to the other, such as from the leftmost end of the country to the rightmost end, or from top to bottom, would take a whole day of walking, or half a day by carriage.

And then, outside the walls. The Goblin caves were less than an hour walk from the left end of the wall. And then, to the right end of the wall, was a forest and jungle area, and as you went further into it, swamps too.

Without using a teleportation point, getting there from where I was would first require me to take a carriage ride to cross over to the right side of the country, which would take close to half a day.

Ahead of the top of the wall, as in north, were snowy plains, and getting there would either take a six hour carriage ride, or a few hours of walking from the Goblin cave area.

As for the south of the Rustlands, once you walk straight for about an hour down there, you'll end up in a desolate wasteland, filled with heaps of Death Zones, and the deeper you go in, the more toxic and poisonous the air gets, so much so that a human wouldn't survive there for more than a day or two, at most.

Anyway, this was why I had always been limited to the Goblin caves when I'd been sneaking out of the walls, the other spots were just too far to get to and get back from in a single night. But now, as an Adventurer, though not technically official since I'm still a Student Adventurer, things were different.

Specifically, access to teleportation Spell Scrolls.

Let me first clarify that the teleportation in this world is very limited.

A single teleportation Spell Scroll can only teleport people back and forth from two points, let's call them Points A and B to simplify it. If you wanted to teleport to Point B, you could only do so if you're currently in Point A. And if you want to teleport back to Point A, you can only do so from Point B.

And, most importantly, the distance between the two points can only be a few dozen kilometers or so. In other words, teleporting from country to country or over really long distances was impossible.

The maximum range of a teleportation Spell Scroll wasn't even long enough to teleport across a country with just a single scroll. If I wanted to get to the rightmost end of the Rustlands from the left where I was, I would have to use two, or maybe even three teleportation Spell Scrolls.

There were small blue booths across the country that acted as teleportation points, where you could pay a small fee to use these scrolls to teleport to another part of the country. It was a waste to buy your own teleportation Spell Scroll because of how expensive they are, so most Adventurers used these booths to get around the country.

And creating your own was extremely difficult, it required immense knowledge and understanding of Spell Scroll command lines, plus you also need to buy a separate tool that's used to determine the location coordinates of the two teleportation points assigned to that particular teleportation Spell Scroll. No one had figured out how to make a more convenient form of teleportation using Spell Scrolls yet, so most Adventurers preferred to use the booths instead of buying or making their own teleportation Spell Scrolls.

These booths were something that was only accessible for Adventurers and Student Adventurers. And so, I now had access to the areas that had previously been too far away for me to go to.

So, why did I say it was a letdown?

Because there were hardly any good Quests available. Money was no longer a problem for me, there were plenty of easy high paying Quests , but the problem was that were all pretty boring.

As it turns out, the areas surrounding the Rustlands were occupied by some pretty low level monsters, and this wasn't limited to the Goblins. And most of the Quests were to collect specific resources, such as herbs or crystals.

They had pretty generous rewards upon completion, but they were just so...boring.

I had hoped to see some Abominable Snowman or Yeti-looking monsters in the snowy plains, but the only monsters I had run into over there were something called Snow Imps, which were even smaller and weaker than Goblins.

As for the forest and jungle area, where I ran into Orcs and Walking Tree monsters. They were both stronger than Goblins, but so slow that they were practically inanimate objects in comparison to my speed. I hadn't been deeper into the swamp part of that area yet, but I didn't really have my hopes up.

I was limited to B-Ranked or lower Quests since the available A-Ranked Quests required traveling distances that would take days. The Academy had a pretty strict attendance policy, so I couldn't afford to be away for days on end without special permission.

But I couldn't get permission unless I had a valid reason. And I don't think boredom is a valid reason.

Today was Saturday, and I had taken on a B-Ranked Quest to collect some medicinal herbs from the forest area, the other members of Group D would be joining me. Rai's house was the closest to the nearest teleportation spot, so we had agreed to meet by his place.

Oh yeah, and Rai may have failed an exam, but he still received a Student Adventurer Card, though it was sort of on a provisional basis, he would lose it if he failed his second attempt at the written exam at the end of the month.

During our exams, each of us had taken turns hosting group study sessions in our homes, well except for me, since my room at the inn was too cramped for five people to be in.

It felt pretty weird at first, visiting someone else's house as a guest was something I'd never done before, but I got used to it after a few days, and I'm not gonna lie, it was kinda nice.

It was currently about half an hour before the time we'd agreed on to meet up. And I was already here.

"I win again," I said, with a half-hearted sigh.

Rai had recreated some board games that had existed in our old worlds, like Ludo, Checkers, Snakes and Ladders, and a couple more. When we had planned out the time and place to meet before going on the Quest, Rai had told me about them and asked if I wanted to come over early to play them. And I'd refused, but...then I'd felt so extremely bored this morning that I figured, why not?

But after two wins in Ludo, and then three wins in Checkers after Rai complained that we should play a game that relied on skill instead of luck, I was still pretty bored though.

"You know, this was a lot more fun in my head," Said Rai, his usual enthusiasm nowhere to be found.

"This sucks. I've been so starved for entertainment that I actually got a bit hopeful when you said that you made some board games that had existed in our worlds. But you know what, now that I think about it...I hardly ever played any board games in my old life anyway. There's an easy 'bored game' pun somewhere here, but I'm too bored to care. Man, I miss anime," I sighed again.

"Yeah, you said it. I miss gaming," He replied ruefully.

"I miss movies."

"I miss music."

"I miss air-conditioning and electricity."

"I miss YouTube."

"I miss internet porn."

"Yeah...I miss internet porn."

"...now that I think about it, is the magic in this world really better than the modern technology and digital entertainment of our old worlds? I mean, do you have any idea how many anime seasons I could have binge-watched during all the free time I've had in this world?" I groaned, unable to stop complaining.

For the first time, I was vocally letting out my frustrations about this particular aspect of this world, and it felt like I'd opened a tap that wouldn't turn off.

"You say that having barely been here for half a year, I've been here for sixteen, nearly seventeen, years already, how do you think I feel? I recreated these board games out of desperation, for just a tiny taste of the boundless entertainment I used to be immersed in...but now that you mention it, I was never really that much into board games back then either."

"You know, it just occurred to me...aren't board games supposed to be more fun with more people? So why is it just the two of us?" I inquired, staring up at the ceiling.

"Well, I considered it...but I wasn't sure how I should respond if they asked me about the games. It'd feel weird to say that I invented them, you know?"

"I don't really see a problem with it. Huh, that might actually be a good idea, we can recreate things that were popular or useful in our old worlds here, and make a ton of money," I suggested half-heartedly.

I wasn't serious though, but that was mainly because I'd find that a pretty boring way to live, even if it was profitable.

"Huh, that's not a bad idea," He replied unenthusiastically.

As a bored silence filled the room, someone knocked on the door and opened it, poking their head in.

"Hey, big brother. Have you seen my hairbrush?" Asked a short, blonde girl.

"No, I haven't. And you can't just open the door because you knocked, you first need to wait till I say it's okay to enter-," Began Rai sternly.

"Ugh, I don't need a lecture! Just lock the door when you're doing something you don't want to be seen doing, problem solved! Anyway, if you haven't seen my hairbrush, then I no longer have a reason to be here. Oh, hey Kuro!"

"Oh, uh...hey, Rilia," I replied, a bit awkwardly.

"You're looking good today. Instead of hanging out with my idiot brother, why don't you-?"

"Alright, that's it! Get out of my room, you little brat!" Interrupted Rai, pushing her out and slamming the door, before letting out a sigh.

As you might have gathered, that had been Rai's sister. Her name was Rilia Rumel, she was thirteen years old, pretty short, had the same green eyes and shade of blonde hair as her brother, which she tied back in a ponytail. She had Earth Magic, and a rabbit Anima, as a result of which she had rabbit ears on the top of her head.

"S-sorry about that, dude," He sighed in exasperation and embarrassment.

"Don't worry about it, it's definitely a bit awkward when a girl hits on you in front of her brother, but I don't particularly mind," I shrugged in reply.

"Wait, so you actually realized that she was hitting on you?"

"Huh? Well...yeah, it was pretty obvious."

"I thought you were the clueless dense type when it came to this, but I guess you're not completely hopeless."

"Hey, who are you calling a generic slice-of-life protagonist? When have I ever been dense?"

"That's not even close to what I said....and uh, never mind, I guess."

"You can be kinda annoying even when you're not all hyperactive and optimistically positive, you know that?"

"I told you, I'm just living my life to the fullest. Well, not that I feel all that alive right now."

"Heh, you know what...I still can't get over the fact that your sister is a literal bunny girl."

"I can't even get mad at you because I thought the exact same thing when her Animas' mutation first appeared."

"Wow."

"I know."

"..."

"..."

"...I'm so bored."

"Me too."

This continued for a while.

And so, let's skip ahead to when the others arrive.

And skip a bit further to the point where we teleported from the left to the right end of the Rustlands.

And skip a little more to when we exit past the walls, walk a bit and reach the forest.

Let's continue from here.

We had to gather and bring back a specific type of herb, they were easy to find deeper in the forest, the parts where they grew in were teeming with both monsters and wild animals. These went for a pretty good price, but you have to collect a massive bunch, and so, we had brought a cart.

"So, what exactly are we looking for?" Asked Key, looking over my shoulder at the Quest flyer.

"The herb sketched on this flyer. We'll need to head in pretty deep to find it though, almost all the way to the end where the swamps are. Who's got the cart?" I inquired, looking back.

"Right here," Replied Rai, "By the way, why have I been the one pulling it this whole time? Why haven't we been taking turns? Or, you know, borrowed a horse!?"

"It couldn't be helped, renting a horse is expensive," I shrugged, "Now, come on, let's go."

"H-hey, don't ignore what you don't want to answer! Come on, my arms are killing me, someone switch with me!"

No one said a word, as we slowly began inching towards the forest, before...

"It sure is a small world, huh? Of all the people to run into...but I suppose this time I should count myself lucky," Came an exasperatingly familiar voice.

Misen Ragiu. Are you shitting me?

Seriously, how many times do I have to run into this dick!?

"Alright, everyone. Nothing to see here, let's get going," I declared, beginning to march into the forest.

"Hey, hold on a second! I know we haven't exactly gotten along in the past...but what say we let bygones be-?"

"Absolutely not," I replied immediately.

"Look, just hear me out!"

As he explained it, he was on a similar Quest, to find and gather some kind of plant, although it was apparently an important quest given to him by the Headmaster.

Pretty soon, a select group of Rustlands' Adventurers and royal representatives would head out to Goldway, to finalize the details of the non-aggression pact and alliance that was to be officially formed soon, and of many things that they were planning to take with them as gifts, this plant was something that had been specifically requested by some Goldway higher-ups and nobles.

Huh, that might be a cool Quest to go on, there aren't any strong monsters in the areas near the Rustlands, but Goldway was known to have some pretty strong monsters in its surrounding areas. Quests like that were hard to go on thanks to Academy classes though, it would take days to get to another country, and I didn't have the time to take on quests that would require me to travel a long distance. Anyway, to put it in a nutshell, he had to collect a heap of this plant for an important mission, but he had overlooked getting a cart, so he wanted to borrow some space on our cart.

"Well, it's a reasonable request, and we weren't exactly planning on filling this cart to the brim or whatever. But...," I began.

"Why should we help you?" Finished Persia, as we all glared at him.

"Wow, so perfectly timed, did you two practice that or something? Look, think of it this way, I'll owe you a favor if you do this for me. I can't afford to fail such an important Quest, you know! How do you think I feel, having being forced into a position where I have no choice but to beg you of all people for your help?"

"You're making some rather convincing arguments there," Remarked Key sarcastically.

"Well, I suppose we could at least consider the pros and cons. Cons, it's Misen. Pros...hmm, well I guess it would be pretty good to have an extra set of hands to help us gather the herbs, especially if that set of hands wouldn't be taking a cut of the pay," I considered.

"A-and also, someone else to pull the cart!" Suggested Rai eagerly.

"If it means less overall work each, then I'm all for it," Shrugged Azyl.

"Well, I guess that settles it. Alright, we'll do you this favor, so long as you first help out with our Quest, and after that's done, lead us to wherever what you're looking for grows. Oh, and pull the cart," I relayed to him with a smirk.

Heh...this could be fun.

"Fine, I'll help you with your Quest. But I'm no cart-donkey-!"

"This is non-negotiable. After all, we aren't losing or gaining anything whether we help you or not, but you have everything to lose if we refuse to help you. So, take it or leave it. Or would you rather get down on your hands and knees like you did the other d-?"

"I was drunk! Damn it, fine...I'll pull the fucking cart."

And that's how I got one of the most despicable people in my current life to pull a cart for me, like a mule. We headed deeper into the forest until we came across the herb.

After that it was pretty easy to find, it was growing practically everywhere we looked. We were attacked by a group of Orcs and Walking Trees, but dispatched them with almost no effort. Some monsters known as Forest Imps also showed up, but weren't a serious threat either. After half an hour of collecting, we had practically cleared the area of the herb.

"Let's head in a bit deeper and collect a bit more. We've filled four and a half sacks, let's make it five," I suggested, the others agreeing.

I get a bit particular about stuff like this sometimes. It's like when you increase the volume on a TV, it feels kinda wrong when it's at something like 12 or 14, you don't really feel comfortable unless it's at a multiple of five or ten. Or is that just me?

Oh wait, all multiples of ten are multiples of five too, so I guess mentioned ten was kinda redundant.

...wait, what was I talking about again?

Anyway, we headed deeper and deeper into the greenery until the air slowly began to feel more murky and humid, as the swamps came into view. The herb we were collecting was growing all over this area, even more so that in the spot we had been in earlier. I spotted some small animals hiding as we approached the area, rustling the bushes and grass.

"Wow, this stuff is growing almost everywhere I look over here. It sells for a surprisingly high price for something that's so easy to find," I remarked.

If I remember right, this herb was used in healing Spell Scrolls, and was the best fuel for it...there are other plants that can be used instead, but none are as effective as this particular herb.

"Yes, well...it only grows so bountifully in this place, it's a pretty scarce resource for the other nations, making it one of the Rustlands very few valuable exports," Explained Misen, trying to catch his breath after pulling the cart.

"Doesn't this forest extend all the way to Bronztan though?" Inquired Rai.

"Yes it does, it's a stretch of forest, jungle and swamp between the Rustlands and Bronztan, but it's not like the same plants grow throughout this stretch. If we head in the direction of Bronztan, the swamp continues for a while before it melds into a more jungle-like area, and by that point finding this plant will be near impossible. And the farther you head in, the more powerful monsters, as well as wild animals, will show up, especially when you're past the point where you'll be closer to Bronztan than the Rustlands. Though that would take a few days of traveling to reach."

We then began collecting more of the herb. As I reached for a few growing near a small, dark lake, I noticed a few ripples approaching. Something was in the water. It neared me and then burst out of the lake surface, its hungry reptilian eyes fixated on me, with its long, scaly jaw wide open.

A crocodile! Or maybe an alligator. Who cares, either way...I get to try something I've always wanted to do!

As it shot forward at me with its mouth open, I swiftly drew out my sword and slashed it across the middle of its open mouth, slicing it in half with a straight horizontal slash.

Some of its blood had splattered on my arm, but...that had felt so fucking satisfying and cool! I had perfectly split the top and bottom halves of the large reptile.

"Hey, are you okay, Kuro?" Asked Persia, coming over to me.

"Oh, yeah. I guess I forgot to mention that this lake is chock full of reptilian predators. That was a close one. Watch your step, there are plenty of snakes out here too," Quipped Misen with a smirk.

He was the biggest snake here.

"Prick. Well, I've always wanted to cut a croc or gator in half like that, so it worked out. And now that I'm looking closer at this lake, I can definitely see that there's a lot of life moving beneath the surface," I replied, noticing ripples appearing across the lake.

"Are there any monsters here? Or just animals?" Inquired Rai.

"Well, sometimes the Orcs show up, but there aren't any monsters that actively occupy this swamp. None that I've seen anyway. But the crocodiles and large snakes that live here are probably bigger threats than those weak monsters. The Rustlands is probably the only country where you can actually find wild animals that are stronger than the monsters around here. Though that's more because our monsters are just weak as hell," Said Misen, "Anyway, can we get to my Quest now? Surely you've collected enough."

I had actually about to suggest the same thing, but now that he said it, I felt like spending a few extra minutes here just to stick it to him. It was petty and childish, but I was learning to embrace that side of me.

"Nah, let's stick around here a bit more. Besides, I wouldn't mind taking on a python or something-," I began, reaching for a clump of the herb near the edge of the lake, before freezing in terror.

My throat went dry, my blood ran cold, and I felt my thoughts turning chaotic. How had I not realized this sooner?

This was a swamp.

And reptiles aren't the only type of animal that tend to live in swamps. There were also...amphibians. Mere inches away from my hand, a small green frog stared up at me, it was halfway out of the water, its chin or whatever you call that puffing in and out. If it hopped forward, it would definitely touch my hand.

But I couldn't move.

I was completely frozen in pure terror. I couldn't even bring myself to zap it with lightning or something, I was completely trapped.

"Uh, Kuro? You suddenly went quiet, is everything okay?" Asked Persia from a few feet away, sounding concerned.

"Y-yeah, I just got a, uh, cramp in my foot. J-just staying still till it eases up a bit," I strained and replied.

There was no way that lie had been convincing. Damn it, I can't let anyone else find out about this weakness!

"Wait, don't tell me...," I heard Key mutter.

Hey, if you realized what was happening, hurry up and help me! Get this thing out of my sight!

I flinched as the frog inched closer, blinking those creepy, glossy eyes. I felt a chill run down my spine and my mind began to spiral, as I could feel my eyes begin to water out of the sheer terror. Suddenly, the lake's surface shimmered, and the frog disappeared.

Huh?

No, don't worry about how or why...that creature is gone, that's all that matters!

I straightened up, turned my back on the lake, and began to walk away.

"Alright! Let's get out of here, lead the way, Ragiu!"

"Hm, what is with you? You're acting strange-."

"No, I'm not! Look, either show us where you want to go or we'll just head back to-."

"Tch, fine! I'm a bit confused, but so long as I can finally get my Quest over with, I don't really care. It's this way, we need to head back a bit. Follow me."

I quietly sighed in relief. I could feel a couple of suspicious stares on me from Persia and Rai, but whatever, I'll come up with some random explanation later.

As we began to head in the direction that Misen was leading us, I thought back to what had happened, now that I was back to my senses. It was like...the lake had sucked the frog back into the water.

Did a snake eat it or something? No, that's not what that had looked like.

That's when it hit me.

I turned around and glanced at Azyl, walking behind everyone else. His awkward expression when I'd made eye contact confirmed it. He was the one who made the frog vanish, using his Water Magic. I slowed down till I was next to him.

"I...I owe you my life. I'll never forget this, you freed me from the clutches of true despair," I thanked him gratefully.

"Uh...you're welcome? You're being too dramatic. It was no big deal, so if you really want to thank me...don't make a big deal out of it."

"Whatever you say, man!"

After that, we made our way across the forest, going in seemingly random directions, till I noticed that Misen was following small arrows marked on the trees. Eventually, we reached a small cave.

"Uh...you sure that herbs are growing in there?" I inquired skeptically, as we entered and began heading into the cave.

"Not inside the cave, but where it leads to. See, this cave doesn't lead to a dead end, it's actually more like a tunnel than a cave, it leads to a hidden, closed-in clearing that's filled to the brim with the plant I need to collect. This spot was discovered by accident, and initially no one could figure out whether this plant was useful or not. As you might know, even though we don't have any non-aggression pacts or alliances with any other country, we still trade with some of them, mostly we import, but we do have a few goods that we export too. Anyway, we sent small amounts of this plant with our exported goods to the other countries, to see if any of them knew what it was and whether it had any use. Bronztan and Silvland had no idea what it was, but Goldway did. They haven't quite shared the details of the plant yet, but did request a small supply of the stuff, and that's what my current Quest is trying to accomplish. Alright, we're almost to the exit," Said Misen, as light began to appear at the end of the tunnel.

As we left the cave/tunnel, I blinked a couple of times as my eyes took a second to adjust.

Oh wow, it was pleasantly warm here, it kinda felt like a tropical island. Reminds me of the time where my assassination target had been in the Caribbean, that was one of my most memorable missions, I killed the target on the first day, but lied to my client so that I could spend a few extra days there and just relax on the beach.

Good times.

I got back to the present as my eyes adjusted to the light, and I looked around. It was a small enclosed space, there was a small waterfall at the end, and green everywhere. Hold on a sec, the plant that was covering this area...

"The shape of the leaves, and those buds...hey, isn't that...?" Whispered Rai, coming up next to me.

Oh yeah, there was no mistaking it.

"Yeah, I definitely recognize that plant. That's...!"

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Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to vote, and feel free to leave a comment, I appreciate any and all feedback and criticism! Also, check out my Instagram account @aimdaqs for posts relating to this book.