Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

"Finally, I thought you'd never get it done."

"Hmph, ungrateful as ever, I see."

"Yeah, whatever. Well, that's all I came here for...later, Elolina!"

I had just gotten a replacement Extract Spell Scroll for the one that blew up with that spy who exploded.

"Would you stop referring to me with that name!? I never gave you permission to address me so casually-!"

"I don't need your permission...anyway, I'm leaving. See ya, Az."

"Kuro...take me with you, plea-," He began in despair.

"Azyl, five more barrier spells! And then follow my guide and create three copies of the Record and Play spell!" She cut him off by adding to his workload, as I gave him an apologetic look, his face falling deeper into the depths of despair.

Sorry, buddy...you're just going to have to suck it up and get through it. I quietly slipped out and left before things got more heated.

She and I may not get along, but she was definitely impressed by my spell ideas, and I certainly couldn't implement them without her.

There was Store and Extract, Record and Play, and Counter Barrier. The last one was, as the name suggests, a type of barrier. When activated, it forms a wall in front of you, but unlike most barriers that were translucent, this one was fully invisible, and the moment an enemy charged at you and came into contact with the wall...it would explode outwards in the direction the attacker came from.

I got the idea when I fought that serial killer, when he lured me into that alley by making me think he was running away and then attacked me with those wind blasts. This barrier's explosion wasn't powerful enough to kill a person, but it would almost definitely knock them out and badly injure the average human.

I currently used five General Magic spells in my arsenal, and they took up seven Spell Scrolls in total. Two each for Store and Extract & Record and Play, and one each for Counter Barrier, the invisibility barrier and the soundproof barrier.

The Store and Extract scrolls were positioned on either side of my waist, while the Record and Play scrolls were on either side of my thighs. The remaining three scrolls were positioned vertically on the left side of my back, above and parallel to my dagger, and next to my short-sword. I had gotten armored leather holsters to strap them onto my outfit.

Lately, things had been pretty quiet.

It was the last week of February now, and it had been nearly two weeks since my last mission from Erhtaph Ragiu, he hadn't yet found anyone else worth investigating. I hadn't been going on any Quests or anything either.

It was a Sunday, but I was supposed to go to the Academy in a hour or so, Instructor Dile had asked me to come in. I didn't know for what, but I had nothing better to do...I planned to head home for a bit before going over to the Academy.

As I made my way back to my apartment, I passed by Key and Az's houses...some people walked out of Key's house, a couple and a guy around my age. Oh, as in my mental age of around twenty instead of my physical age of seventeen. Probably guests or relatives or something, I shrugged to myself with disinterest.

Key then walked out as well, along with two adults I assumed were her parents...namely because the man had the same shade of red hair as she did, and the woman had the same red eyes. I hadn't met them before, I had been to her house a couple of times along with the others during group study sessions, but each time, her parents hadn't been home.

As she spotted me, I gave her a small wave while continuing to walk towards my place, but to my surprise, a panicked look appeared on her face. Her parents and guests or whatever stared at her in surprise as she speedwalked towards me and grabbed my arm.

Okay, I had a bad feeling about this...I might have found myself in the wrong place at the wrong time right now.

"What's up, Key? I was just passing by-," I greeted her casually, trying to slip away but she had a seriously strong grip on my arm.

She looked really panicked. What was going on anyway?

"Key, dear...who might this be?" Her father walked up, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Th-this is one of my friends, Kuro...I, er...have to talk to him about something Academy-related, yeah!"

Real convincing, Redhead.

"Oh, uh...hi there," I said awkwardly, as both her parents looked me up and down with suspicion.

I gave her an irritated, inquiring look from the corner of my high, as she returned a pleading look for me to play along.

This is...really fucking awkward.

"A-anyway, I need to talk to him, it won't take long!" She stuttered, dragging me a few meters away.

He parents looked really suspicious, but didn't follow after us.

"Alright, Redhead...mind explaining?" I sighed in annoyance.

"S-sorry, I wasn't really thinking straight...I just sort of panicked when I saw you."

"Okay...why?"

"Well...I didn't want you to misunderstand what was going on."

She was making no sense at all..

"I'm totally lost here...be more specific, what did you not want me to misunderstand?"

She stared at me in surprise, before her eyes widened.

"Oh, no...I was overthinking way too much...," She realized, as she looked down at the ground with embarrassment, "W-well, s-sorry to inconvenience you, I'll be going back n-."

Oh, you're not getting away that easily after all that...

"Hold on...after putting me through that, you owe me an explanation, Red...and more specifically, you've really piqued my curiosity. Based on how you reacted with all that panic...I don't think you'd want me speculating with Rai and the others about why you acted that way," I remarked, stopping her in her tracks as I mentioned Rai's name.

"Sometimes, you can be really-!...fine, you win. First, what did you think when you saw those people walking out of my house?"

Huh? Wait, was that what this was about?

"I didn't really think anything, just assumed they were some random guests or relatives...but now I'm thinking that's not the case."

She nodded awkwardly.

"Well, you see...my parents never fully approved of me becoming an Adventurer, but I was never interested in what they wanted me to do, which is running the family jewelry business. They did allow me to enroll at the Academy, but they weren't very happy about it. They still haven't given up on me helping them run and eventually inheriting the family business."

Okay...where was she going with this?

"They recently began having talks with another company in the same business, to potentially form a partnership instead of competing with each other. And to solidify the alliance...," She trailed off with an unhappy look on her face.

Right then, it felt like a lightbulb lit up in my head. So...that's what this was about. Those visitors, and the guy who was not that much older than us...

"Oh, I get it now...you're engaged to that guy I saw?"

"N-no, not quite...it isn't official yet, but I doubt I can convince my parents to let me reject it. You see, they love their company a lot, and I have literally never seen them as happy as they are right now, with this partnership all but guaranteed...they would never understand or try to see it from my perspective if I wanted to reject it. The engagement will be made official by the end of the week...I'll still be able to attend the Academy and go on Quests, but after graduation when...when I-I get married, I doubt I'll have much free time."

It all made sense now...she was really conflicted over this, and when she saw me, she immediately went into panic mode because she was already anxious about the whole thing and didn't want us to find out.

Especially not...

"You don't want Rai to find out, do you?"

"Wh-wha- where'd that c-come from!?" She stumbled back with a stutter, her face turning red.

"FYI, you're not convincing at all. Look, it's not my place to interfere in your family situation or your personal decisions, but...if you don't want to go through with this, you shouldn't have to. It's your life you know...why let someone else dictate how you live it? And if you do decide to accept the engagement...I think you should tell Rai, and the reason should be obvious."

"I-I don't k-know what y-you're talking about!"

"Look, it's like I said, it's really not my place to interfere, and I'm not going to say a word no matter what you choose to do. I can tell you this much though...unless what you pick is a hundred percent your own choice, I can almost guarantee that you'll regret it down the line. And I totally understand not being able to admit your feelings to someone you care about...but you should at least admit them to yourself. Anyway, I'm gonna get going, your parents are seriously glaring at me, and I'd rather not get involved any more than this...don't worry, I won't tell the others about this, not even Persia. Good luck with it, Key."

"Alright...thank you, Kuro."

With that, I left and continued walking towards my place, letting out a sigh of relief. But I hadn't walked for more than ten steps when I heard someone walking up behind me.

Give me a break, what now?

As the footsteps neared me, I quickly spun around as I drew out my dagger, pointing the blade at the person's throat.

"Who are you, and why were you following- oh, you're the guy who just walked out of Key's place."

He was fairly tall and slim, with permed back black hair and gray eyes, and a pale complexion.

"Indeed, my name is Luknoi Dassen. I apologize for startling you, I simply wished to ask you a question."

Startled me? For some reason, that comment really ticked me off. I don't get startled. Not by someone like this, anyway.

"What? I'm kinda in a hurry," I responded with a sigh.

That wasn't technically true, but to be fair, I was definitely in a hurry to get away from this guy. He had that stuck up vibe about him that really ticked me off. I probably shouldn't punch him in the face, but...I really wanted to.

"May I ask what your relationship is to my Key?"

I almost snorted with laughter as he said that.

"What's it to you? I really don't see why I have to tell you anything, er...Fuckboi, was it?"

Yeah, I could have just told him that we're friends and teammates, but the urge to antagonize this guy was too overwhelming to resist. His eyebrow twitched with irritation, but he didn't lose his cool, maintaining that fake, polite smile.

"Ahem, it's Luknoi. And by your refusal to answer, as well as how long you spent talking to my Key, would I be correct in assuming that you consider yourself her lover?"

Wow, he was way off.

"Huh, and why would I bother confirming your assumptions? Feel free to leave it to your imagination...Fuckboi."

"How juvenile...she may not understand right away, but I am sure that my Key will soon see that a silly, casual romance is but a waste of time...I am the one who shall have her in my life forever, we shall bond over our mutual business partnership, could you even imagine a more solid foundation for an union?"

Damn, did he just diss my non-existent romantic relationship with Key...how rude. Also, I felt like gagging each time he said 'my Key', this guy was a total jackass.

"Wooow, you must really be in love with her or something along those lines," I remarked in a sarcastic, half-hearted tone.

"Love? Such a fickle concept, I do not believe in such things. It is the thought of two competing businesses combining their forces to take over the market and industry that is so tantalizing...with her by my side, I shall someday dominate the jewelry market in the Rustlands, no...the entire world! She is...she is the KEY to my future!"

Oh, wow...even as a guy who loved puns, that was just...awful. I mean...really? So, wait...this whole time, had he been saying 'my key' instead of 'my Key'?

Alright, I've had my fun...I was bored of messing with this guy...and to tell you the truth, he was kinda creeping me out.

"Cool, good luck with that. See you never, Fuckboi," I responded with a yawn, as I turned around and left.

"Mark my words, I shall not lose to you! Enjoy your remaining time with her, because-!"

I didn't hear the rest, as I hurried away. That guy seriously has a screw loose...

...

...

I arrived at the Academy a while later, heading for the staff room. I knocked and entered.

"Oh, Mr Black...what brings you here today?" Inquired Instructor Tabbs, the only person inside the room.

"Well, uh...I don't really know, Instructor Dile asked me come in today, but didn't really say why."

"Ohh, so this is what he meant by-...yes, head for the training hall down the corridor and to the left...the one where you took your entrance exam."

"Got it, thanks!"

I headed for the hall, and opened the door, stepping inside....there was a ton of people in here. Instructor Dile was inside, beckoning me to join him at the front of the space as he spotted me enter.

I made my way through the crowd to the front, and walked over to him.

"Uh, Instructor...what is this about?"

"Glad you could make it on time, young Kuro. As you can see...we have a rather large number of first year applicants this year, over a hundred and twenty to be exact. I require assistance in administering the entrance exam, it would be rather time consuming for me to test every single one of the applicants. You may conduct the test however you please, I just ask that you set a high standard, even higher than the entrance exam you took."

Wait, what? That was, uh...

"Um, why don't you have them all duke it out in a battle royale, something like the last twenty who remain standing will pass?"

"Hm...no, I do not believe that would be an acceptable or fair examination. That aside, we do not have enough space for something like that. We shall split the applicants into two equal groups, I shall administer the exam for one of the groups, and you shall take the other. This hall is large enough to conduct two batches of exams simultaneously. You do not have to use the exact same method of testing that I do, but it must be strict and of a high standard."

...I wasn't getting out of this, was I. Oh, well, guess it couldn't hurt...this might be fun.

"Alright, fine...let me think...okay, can I have one of those barriers we use for duels?"

...

This is kinda surreal. A year ago I had been taking this entrance exam, and now...I was one of the co-administrators for it.

The instructor split the crowd into two, and then told them all to stand back, in order to leave room in the middle of the space for the exams.

"Your attention, applicants! I shall be testing all of you gathered on the right, and he will be testing the ones gathered on the left," He informed, pointing to me.

Alright, fine...let's get this over with.

Just like last time, Instructor Dile picked out the applicants one by one at random. The conditions to pass his exam were the same as last time, with one notable difference...the time limit was now only thirty seconds. And he wasn't holding back as much as he did last year.

I should probably get started too.

"Alright, I'm Kuro Black, a second year student here, and I'll be your exam administrator. Here's how it works...I'll activate this barrier around myself and the applicant taking the exam, and I'll stay within...this spot," I explained, drawing a circle on the ground with a radius of about a meter and stepping into it, before continuing, "All you need to do to pass is either force me to leave this spot, force me to use Elemental Magic, or pull off my headband. There's no time limit, and I won't be using my Elemental Magic, like I said, you'll pass if you manage to make me use it. I will be using any and all weapons I have on me though. Whoever wants to go first, step forward."

Instructor Dile gave me a look that said he wasn't satisfied with the difficulty level of my exam, but he has no idea how tough this was actually going to be for my applicants. Even without Elemental Magic, I had a ton of tricks up my sleeve, especially these days.

The 'no time limit' rule was just a red herring to lure my batch of applicants into a false sense of security.

A guy in metal armor and an elegant sword stepped forward confidently...actually, it seemed more like arrogance. Perfect, he'll do nicely as the first to take my test.

"Looks like I've lucked out...sure glad I didn't end up on the right," He remarked with a cocky grin, as Instructor Dile finished failing his fourth applicant in just about a minute.

"You and everyone else are about to find out...that you'd all have been better off taking the instructor's exam over mine...sucks to be you," I smirked, as I activated the barrier around myself and him.

The other applicants on my side of the room all looked pretty relaxed and calm...good, the more they underestimate me, the more satisfying the looks on their faces would be when I...

"You're free to come at me whenever you're ready," I provoked my first applicant with a condescending smile.

"Hah, I might as well already be enrolled!" He sneered, firing out a large fireball from his hand at me.

Hm, decent control and speed...but not good enough.

"Aaaand...Store," I yawned with a bored expression as I activated the scroll, before swiftly drawing out the one on my opposite side with a smirk, "And now...Extract."

I returned his fireball, he was too stunned to move, as it reached him and teleported him out before the flames could roast him.

"Alright...who's next?"

They looked a bit less confident now.

A girl with a staff was the next to volunteer. She shot towards me and swung the staff up at me. I stepped back to the edge of the circle I was standing in to avoid it, as she reached out her hand towards my headband. I drew out a poison needle from my arm guard and flung it at her. She teleported out before she could grab my headband.

Next was a guy with a dagger. He charged at me while running flames through his dagger.

I reached behind me with my left hand and drew out the Counter Barrier spell, activating it in front of me. As he neared me, he sprang forward with his dagger raised...before crashing onto the invisible wall and getting teleported out as it immediately exploded outwards upon contact.

"Neeext!"

...

...

I had gone through forty applicants, and not a single one had passed yet...had I made it too difficult? No, given the number of handicaps I had placed on myself, it was definitely far from impossible. And besides, the instructor had almost finished with his batch, and only three had passed so far, out of like, fifty.

I don't think I need to worry...since I let them volunteer to go next instead of picking them randomly like the instructor did, the strong and smart ones were likely to hold themselves back towards the end, so that they can see as much of what I can do before they have to face me.

I wasn't using Store on anything besides Elemental attacks that I can't dodge without leaving the circle, and Counter Barrier isn't very effective if your opponent is expecting it. Those were the two main ways I had failed all the applicants so far. Most of them simply didn't learn from watching the applicants who went before them, and repeated the same mistakes. As a result, I hadn't needed to draw out my blades yet, I had used needles and throwing knives a few times though.

After a couple more failures...

"Alright, next!"

A short, skinny guy with a bow and arrow and spiky blue hair walked forward, a nervous look on his face. He kicked off his shoes, revealing prehensile feet...must be an ape Anima like Key's orangutan.

He shot towards me...using Lightning Boost. Hey, not bad...I'd estimate he was using it around x1.5. He zipped across and then fired an lightning-coated arrow to my right, as I stepped back to evade it, he doubled back and fired another arrow at my feet, as I sprang up to avoid it.

Not bad at all...

He could make really sharp turns with impressive flexibility...he made full use of his Anima's effects. He fired three arrows at me as I landed, I evaded two of them and had to draw out my sword for the first time today, to deflect the next one.

He once again zipped across to my right, firing two arrows at me. As I deflected them away, his speed suddenly shot up and he was to my left in a flash, pulling out a hidden dagger from his sleeve and using Stream to coat it in lightning.

Impressive, especially since he's not even a student yet...he must have increased his boost upto x1.8 at the very least. And while he was quite skilled as an archer, the way he wielded his dagger told me that he was decent at close range combat too.

Yeah...this kid definitely makes the cut.

As he slashed his blade towards my neck, I activated my own Lightning Boost, used Stream on my dagger, and blocked his slash with it. The amount of lightning running through my dagger was a lot more than his, so he got zapped as his blade clashed against mine.

"You pass," I remarked, driving my short-sword towards his neck.

He teleported out before the blade could pierce him.

"Alright....next!"

More failures...

...

Then came a girl with medium length black hair in twin braids and glasses, with scales along her forearms. They looked more reptilian than aquatic.

She used Water Magic, with some pretty impressive control. She was nowhere near Az's level of course, and she was quite a few levels below Fuo and Siert as well, but she had potential and determination.

She shot several water blasts at me, I couldn't evade them all in my limited space, and using Store would be pointless since I'd only be able to use it on a single water blast.

I sprang up and flung a barrage of poison needles at her, she managed to deflect all off them with individual water blasts. Wow, that was some pretty good aim...to be able to accurately counter every single needle.

She then ran towards me while firing more water blasts rapidly. Looks like she has a decent amount of Mana too. She narrowly dodged another barrage of needles, before forming water spheres all around her, ready to fire....she shot them at me from near point-blank range, as I activated Lightning Boost to enhance my perception.

I just barely dodged them as my eyesight and speed multiplied just in time, plenty of the water blasts brushing against me.

She'd made me use Elemental Magic.

"You pass."

A couple more failed.

The next to pass was a guy with Earth Magic, he used his magic to manipulate the earth and make the circle I drew on it disappear.

"Uh...you pass, I guess...points for creativity and whatnot. Alright, a quick update to the rules...if there are any Earth Magic users left, I will not pass you if you copy this move!"

The rest of my applicants failed...till I got to the final two. A pair of twins, a girl and a boy. They both had straight orangish hair, the girl's was a bit longer. And they both appeared to have the same Anima, even to the same extent...they each had what appeared to be horse tails, chestnut brown in color.

The guy carried a short-sword slightly longer and a bit narrower than mine, and the girl carried a triangle-shaped shield.

Clearly, based on their weapons, they must fight better when they're together. Hm, why don't I...

"Hey, you two...if you want, you can both come at me at the same time. If you do, both of you will get the same result, if even one of you managed to clear the conditions I set, you both pass...but that also means that you could both fail in one shot. It's your call."

I mean...given that one of them was carrying a shield and the other a sword, they're probably stronger when they work together, plus aren't twins supposed to have some weird link or something. And besides...I only had three passed applicants so far, while Instructor Dile had passed seven of his batch.

They immediately accepted my offer, the two of them stepping forward together.

As I activated the barrier, they both shot towards me, the girl leading the charge. I activated Counter Barrier as they neared me.

The girl sprang forward, her shield in front of her. It slammed into the barrier, which exploded. As it did, the boy suddenly appeared to my left. I see, they had counted on me using that barrier, and used the smoke from the explosion to try and flank my left.

Not bad...but not good enough.

The boy drove his sword at my head, I stepped back to avoid it, as he entered the circle and began slashing and thrusting his blade. I countered his strikes with my own sword, my overall technique was better than his, but with my space to move handicapped, it was just about even.

He then unfurled a powerful downward slash to my right, I blocked it with my sword. That was a good strike, but he put his entire body behind it, meaning he had no momentum left and was wide open.

Suddenly, the girl shot to my left before I could counter, pointing the edge of her shield at me. I blocked with my left hand, with no time to draw out my dagger. In the next split second, they both sprang back at the same time and blew out fireballs from either side of me. Nice coordination...I sprang up to avoid them, the immense heat as they clashed into each other stifling my breath.

They're fairly strong, and their teamwork is excellent...I could keep going if I wanted to, but I think I'll just pass them.

Alright, I'll end this was a bang!

I extracted fifteen percent Karma, and clenched my fist, rapidly enveloping it with black lightning.

"You...," I began, as I dropped back down and slammed my lightning enhanced fist into the ground, "...PASS!"

The ground erupted upon impact, black lightning streams spreading and snaking out from the point of impact, teleporting them both out and shattering the barrier. Oops, forgot about the flying debris...looks like no one got hurt though, so whatever.

I quickly transferred the Karma into the Mana Orb before it could take its toll...it'd be pretty uncool to suddenly start spewing out blood.

"I appreciate you doing this, it was a great help," Instructor Dile remarked, walking over to me.

"Sure, no problem...it was actually kinda fun. Was that okay though...I passed less than a tenth of the applicants I tested."

"No, I believe your conditions were most efficient in testing the overall abilities of the applicants...in fact, my conditions for passing may have been a bit too lenient in comparison. I may have to ask you to assist me next year as well."

"Uh...we'll see about that when the time comes, it's still a long way away. So, if there's nothing else, is it cool if I head back?"

With that done, I headed back out. All told, that had taken me less than an hour to complete..out of the sixty-something applicants I tested, the vast majority failed within ten to twenty seconds.

...

...

The next day was Monday, and I was in class.

Key was visibly nervous, and the others had clearly noticed. She kept looking at me with a paranoid expression. Unbelievable...what am I supposed to do in this situation?

After a few more minutes, she suddenly stood up and turned to me.

"H-hey, can I talk to you in the hallway for a minute?" She asked, before heading out the classroom door, beckoning me to follow.

I sighed and groaned...

"Be right back, I guess," I muttered in exasperation.

"Is everything okay?" Asked Persia curiously.

Rai, and even Azyl, looked at me too.

"Yeah...it's kind of a long story, and it's not my place to say what it is, so...," I shrugged in reply, before heading out.

"Alright, Redhead...you need to get a hold of yourself. You look like you're-."

"H-hey, um...you didn't tell any of the others, did you?"

My eyebrow twitched in irritation.

"Seriously? Was that seriously why you're all restless and panicky? No, I haven't told anyone!"

"B-but then...why were the others staring at me?"

I stared at her with a blank look of disbelief.

"Dude, are you for real right now...they were staring because you look nervous and sweaty as hell, they're just concerned. I didn't know you had such an idiotic side to you."

"Don't call me 'dude', it's weird...a-are you sure? You haven't said a word?"

This was getting annoying.

"No, I haven't told a soul that you're engaged, and I don't plan to either...I already told you, it's not my place to interfere-."

"Um, hey....what do you mean by that?"

I stiffened as the classroom door suddenly swung open and Rai's voice came from behind me.

Persia and Az tumbled out as he opened the door. Crap, they had been eavesdropping...and I'd been too annoyed to notice.

Key looked absolutely horrified, as she averted her gaze from Rai.

"Okay, that's probably my bad," I sighed ruefully.

Well...this is awkward.

"Hey, Kuro...what did you mean by 'engaged'?" Rai asked, with an expression of dread as he waited for me to answer.

...how the fuck did I get myself in this position anyway?

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