Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

"Kuro, answer m-."

"Nope."

"H-huh, what do you mean 'nope'?" He responded in confusion and a hint of despair.

Oh, boy...this is bad.

"If you're going to learn about this, I'm not the one you should be hearing it from," I explained, nudging Key.

No good, she was totally frozen.

"Huh...now that I think about it...knowing Key's parents...I think I know what this is about," Az chimed in, having figured it out.

Well, he was her neighbor and long-time childhood friend, so it wasn't particularly surprising that he might have a clue.

"...this is way too awkward for my liking, I'm going back to the classroom," I spoke up bluntly, breaking the unbearably awkward silence that had enveloped us.

"Y-yeah, me too," Persia followed after me, as Az quietly snuck back in too.

That left Key and Rai alone outside the classroom.

"How did you get involved anyway?" Az inquired curiously.

"Wow, guess even you're not indifferent to everything, huh. Let's just say 'wrong place at the wrong time'. I really shouldn't say anything, if she really doesn't want anyone to know about it, then I need to keep my mouth shut too," I replied.

"Yeah, I guess you're right...but I can't deny that I'm really, really curious," Said Persia, leaning back her chair.

The other two came back in after a while, both with unhappy expressions on their faces. The rest of the day was pretty uncomfortable...

...

We had planned to head out to the forest area today to work on some group training, but I wasn't sure that was a good idea anymore.

"Hey, guys...maybe we should train another day-," I began awkwardly.

"N-no, it's fine...let's go ahead as planned," Interrupted Key quietly, probably not wanting it be canceled on her account.

No one else said anything, the air around our group was seriously awkward right now. I feel like I've said the word 'awkward' a lot today, but that just emphasizes how fucking awkward this whole thing has been.

Since no one else opposed the planned training...we found ourselves in the forest area about an hour later.

It...didn't go well.

Rai kept zoning out and was in a bad mood, while Key was gloomy and was half-hearted in her training efforts.

"This is...productive," Az sighed sarcastically

.

"This day has been so uncomfortable," Groaned Persia, as Rai and Key continued to avoid each other.

"Alright, that's it...I can't stand this anymore. Key, you gotta say something, this is absolutely unbearable!" I exclaimed in exasperation.

"..."

"..."

After a prolonged silence, she finally spoke up...

"I-I guess I can't avoid it anymore," She finally relented, before telling the others everything she'd told me.

...

"Wow...that's a tough situation. But, you don't want to go through with it, right, Key?" Asked Persia with a concerned look, after she finished explaining the situation.

"I-it doesn't matter...it was hard enough to convince my parents to let me enroll in the Adventurer Academy, I had to teach myself how to use a sword using a guide book, and then I worked some part-time jobs to earn money to buy my sword, so I managed to make it work. But I'd never be able to convince them to let me do something that would ruin the future of their precious family business, they're absolutely over the moon for this partnership with the Dassens. The company is more likely to thrive with them as partners instead of competitors."

Rai looked like he was about to burst.

I decided to chime in...

"Hey, Key...you should know, your fiancé, Fuckboi, approached me after we spoke. He's, uh...kind of a dick."

"Wait, is that really his name?" Asked Persia with a bemused expression.

"Er, no...it's Luknoi," Mumbled Key.

"Right, that's what I said...Fuckboi. Anyway, he...," I explained the conversation I had with him.

I didn't leave out anything, including the awful Key pun, and the whole 'my key' bit.

"...that's kinda disturbing," Muttered Az, as I finished talking about it.

"If you ask me...you really shouldn't marry this guy, Key," Added Persia, looking slightly disgusted.

"Yeah, well...it's not really my call," She replied uncomfortably.

We were all silent, unsure of how to respond to her.

"What do you want to do? Do you want to go through with it or not?" Rai finally spoke up, in a serious tone.

This was so out of character for him, but I guess it wasn't exactly surprising in this situation.

"I-I said it does matter-," She began quietly, averting her gaze from him.

"That's not what I'm asking. I asking what you want-!"

"L-let's head back. It's getting late," She cut him off, turning around and walking away.

"Hey, wait a-!...," He began, trailing off as she ignored him.

"I-I'll go talk to her," Persia said reassuringly to Rai with a sympathetic smile, before running after Key.

"Uh, hey, man...come on, let's head back," I said, awkwardly placing a hand on his shoulder.

He nodded quietly and walked along with Az and I. It was a silent and...well, awkward walk back to the gate.

...

...

After we got back, Rai came over to my place, saying he needed someone to talk to. Even for me, in this situation...I didn't have the heart to say no.

"Hey, dude...what should I do?" He asked me in a hopeless tone, sitting on the floor and absent-mindedly swaying his tail over Pero, as she playfully jumped at it.

I'll be as blunt and direct as possible...I'm not cut out for being all heartfelt and comforting with advice.

"If you ask me...I think you should tell her how you feel."

His eyes widened as he blinked at me with a surprised expression, his face slowly turning red.

"Wh-wha, I-I don't- what does that have to do with anything, I c-can't j-just-!"

"Calm down. Look, it's pretty obvious how you feel, and I genuinely believe that if you tell her, that's your best shot at getting her to drop this engagement."

He mulled it over for a bit, his face turning flustered.

"I-I can't...it's too hard, and really scary!"

"Yeah, I can relate, but you'll feel a lot better after you do it."

"You're just saying that because it worked out for you."

Alright, let's try something else...this worked during the Brawl of Glory, so...

"Okay, fair point. But remember what you told me a while ago...when you reincarnated in this world, you decided to live your life to the fullest, isn't that right?"

"..."

"..."

"Y-yeah...that's right...," He muttered slowly, "Yeah, that's right! I-I'll do it!"

Huh, it really worked....again.

"Great! Glad I could help. Now...I'll be blunt, I want to sleep, so...get out," I remarked with a smile.

"Heh...you're as rude as the day I met you, dude, but...thanks a lot, Kuro. I feel a lot better now," He grinned back, as he stood up and headed for the door, leaving with a wave.

I picked up Pero as I lay on the bed, placing her on my chest and scratching behind her ears. She began purring and closed her eyes, as I let out a yawn. It wasn't that late, but today had been mentally exhausting.

...

A little while later, someone opened the door and walked in, closing it behind them.

"You should really lock your door, Kuro," Smiled Persia, walking over to me on the bed.

"Hey, Kitty Cat. You're as cute as ever, I see."

"Oh, zip it. You look pretty worn out," She replied, as she lay down next to me.

"Yeah...it's been a long day."

She then told me how her conversation with Key went. Well, there wasn't much to tell, Key hadn't really said much.

"She's already given up and accepted that she can't do anything about this. It's a bit sad, I'd be horrified if I was forced to get engaged to and marry someone I don't know or like. I know arranged marriages aren't exactly rare, but still."

Like she said, arranged marriages were pretty commonplace in this world, especially in the more prosperous nations.

"Yeah, so would I. Trusting someone I'd just met is absolutely impossible for me."

"Hey, what was it like in your old world?"

"Let's see...it depends on stuff like culture and religion I guess...some countries are super open and chill about it, and some countries outright make it a crime to be in a relationship before marriage. It's hard to generalize, my old world had around two hundred countries, and thousands of religions. Speaking of which...is religion even a thing in this world? I haven't seen any churches or temples or whatever in the Rustlands, or in Goldway when we went there."

"I don't know much about religion...but I think Platinberg and Silvland each follow their own religions. As far as I know, the Rustlands doesn't follow any religion."

"Hm, so the majority of this world is atheistic, huh. That's good, religious fanatics tend to be some of the most deranged and terrifying people you can imagine."

"...I'll take your word for it."

"Wait...how did we get on this topic anyway? What were we originally talking about?"

...

...

So, remember how determined Rai had been after our conversation?

Yeah, he chickened out as soon as he saw Key. He the. insisted he'd do it the next day...chickened out again. And again.

Before he knew it, it was suddenly the end of the week, Friday evening. We had planned another group training session today, and tomorrow...Key's engagement would be finalized and made official.

She was looking pretty miserable, it was obvious that she didn't want to go through with it.

"Hey, this is your last chance, Rai, it's now or never...I mean, it's not like we're going to get any meaningful training done out here today anyway," I whispered, as we all arrived in the grove we use to train in.

"Y-yeah, I know that," He replied nervously, glancing at her.

The two of them hadn't spoken at all lately.

We began another totally unproductive training session, a couple of painstakingly uncomfortable hours passing by slowly.

"I-I'm going to head back early...see you all later," Key broke the silence, as she averted her gaze and began to walk away.

She headed for the barrier scroll in order to take down the barrier around us. Uh...should I do something? I'm really not cut out for these kinds of situations.

"Wait!" Rai grabbed onto her arm to stop her, before snatching up the scroll with his tail, holding it out of her reach.

Phew, he finally stepped up.

"L-let me go...take down the barrier, Rai."

"I won't. You...you can't go through with this, Key!"

"It's n-none of your business, you annoying-!"

Oh, crap...this is getting heavily awkward...we should probably give them some space, but...Rai had the barrier scroll, so we were stuck here. It was way to tense to even think about interrupting them to get the scroll.

Besides...if we took down the barrier, she might just bolt immediately.

"Don't you get it...this is something you'll have to commit a major portion of your life towards, do you really want to go through with it knowing that!?"

"I already told you, it's not my call-!"

"Of course it is, it's your fucking life!"

Safe to say that I had never seen Rai this wound up before.

"Shut up...don't make this harder than it has to be. Just mind your own business!"

"No can do!"

"Why...why do care so much anyway, what difference does it make to you!?"

"I-I...I, uh-."

"Why should it matter to you what I do!?"

"..."

"..."

Oh dear lord, you could cut the tension with a knife...I found myself holding my breath without even realizing it.

"It does matter to me, and...this is why," He finally responded, walking over to her with a determined look.

"Wh-what?" She replied nervously, taking a step back.

As he reached her, her grabbed her by the waist, pulling her towards him and...kissed her.

"Oh, fuck," I blurted out in surprise, unable to stop myself.

Even Az was caught off guard...none of us had expected that.

Her eyes were wide with shock at first, but after a couple of seconds...she closed her eyes and kissed him back.

"I love you, Key," He said in a serious tone as he stared into her eyes after pulling back.

She was blushing so hard that her face was practically blood-red right now, her mouth was open but no words were coming out, and her eyes were dazed.

"W-we really shouldn't be here for this...," Persia mumbled to me.

"Like we have a choice...unless you're willing to go and interrupt them to ask for the barrier scroll?"

"...good point."

"..."

"..."

"..."

.

.

.

Oh my God...somebody, anybody...say something! Key was way too flustered to say a word, and as his adrenaline began to die down, Rai's heat-of-the-moment confidence was starting to fade.

Wait, this might be our chance to get the scroll!

"Uh, guys...maybe you'd want a bit more privacy for this?" I spoke up tentatively, the tension in the air almost choking me.

For the first time since they started arguing, it finally clicked as they realized they weren't alone right now.

"Wha-!?...y-you guys...uh, you d-didn't...you didn't s-see any of that, r-right?" Rai stuttered with an painfully embarrassed look.

Key blushed even harder as she stared down at the ground, fidgeting awkwardly.

"Well, you've kinda been holding onto the scroll this whole time...so we couldn't give you space even if we wanted to. And believe me...we REALLY wanted to. Fuck, that was awkward!"

He silently and embarrassedly tossed me the scroll while averting his gaze, I quickly deactivated the barrier, and the three of us hurried a couple hundred meters away, giving them plenty of space.

"I thought I was gonna die of tension," Az groaned, as he collapsed against a tree with a sigh.

"Yeah, but at least they finally put it out there...hope it works out for them," Replied Persia.

"I guess, now...we wait," I shrugged, sitting down and leaning my back against a tree.

"Oh, I almost forgot...that Luknoi guy approached me yesterday," Az suddenly remembered.

"Wait, for real? How'd it go?"

"You were right...he's awful. He kept going on and on about how he wasn't going to lose to me just because I've known her since we were kids. The whole time, I barely said a word since it was too much trouble to argue, but...he just kept talking," Az shuddered, looking a bit traumatized.

"If I were you, I'd have probably just zapped him hard enough to knock him out and then walk away. You could have frozen him or something, keeping him stuck till the ice melted or something."

"I'll keep that in mind if there's a next time...I really hope there won't be one."

...

Half an hour later, Rai and Key walked back, their faces were redder than tomatoes, and they were holding each other's hands.

Looks like it had worked out just fine.

"So...you two seem awfully cozy, don't you?" I raised an eyebrow as I smirked.

Neither of them replied, as they blushed deeper and averted their gazes to the ground. I was genuinely happy for them, it was an unfamiliar feeling, since I never cared about anyone but myself before I came to this world.

As we all began heading back, they eventually spoke up and told us how it went. Key reciprocated Rai's feelings, and they made it official. And now...the two of them were going over to Key's house to talk to her parents.

"H-hey, Kuro...I'm kinda terrified right now, what's the whole 'meeting the parents' thing like?" Rai inquired with a nervous grin.

"Well, it was pretty nerve-wracking, but I got lucky...Persia's parents were really welcoming and friendly," I responded.

"I would say there's nothing to worry about, but I can't lie...this is going to be a rough conversation," Key said apologetically to Rai.

"N-no, it's fine! I'll just have to suck it up and do my best!"

"That's the spirit, break a leg," I said.

"Huh? What does that mean?" Key asked in confusion, Persia also looked confused.

"Oh, uh...it's a saying in my old world that means 'do your best' or something along those lines. Huh, come to think of it...there were a bunch of phrases used for encouragement that were actually pretty negative literally speaking...'break a leg', 'knock 'em dead', 'give 'em hell'...," I trailed off, as I realized I had begun to rant.

"Oh, yeah...I think I've heard you use that 'knock 'em dead' phrase before, I didn't really get it, but it sounded like an encouragement from context," Persia responded, recalling...something.

"H-hey, this doesn't help me right now, do you have any real advice?" Rai inquired with a sigh.

"Uhhh...do some tricks or something, to lighten the mood? Oh, can you stand on your tail?" I suggested, before noticing something on his shoulder, "Hey, you've gotten something on your left shoulder...thought it was a streak of blood for a sec."

"Huh, wha-...oh, it's a strand of Key's hair, that's all."

"...there's a 'red string of fate' joke here somewhere," I grinned, as the Rustlands east gate came into view.

"No, that's too easy...pretty much everything besides her skin is red," Chimed in Az.

He was right...her outfit, hair, eyes and weapon were all red.

"Damn it...I wish I had black eyes," I sighed wistfully.

"But I really like your dark blue eyes," Persia argued immediately.

"...in that case, it's fine, I guess."

"I don't get you guys, how can you wear nothing but black all the time? Why don't you try switching it up? Like go for a dark color like dark green or blue to start off, and-," Rai began to suggest.

"No way. No matter how much I change, this is the one thing I'll never compromise on...well, okay, there's the Academy uniform, but there's no helping that. All the other colors are just too...not black. You seem a lot calmer, by the way."

He blinked a couple of times before the nervous look on his face returned.

"I-I got so caught up in the conversation that I forgot about reality!" He cried, as his breathing turned ragged.

"You really need to chill...try to at least act confident," I advised him.

As we got back to the gate and entered, we teleported to the west side of the country and split up, Rai, Key and Az heading in one direction, as Persia and I headed in another direction.

"How do you think it'll go?" Asked Persia, latching herself onto my arm.

"Dunno, but...I hope it works out."

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