Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

Alright, here goes...I exhaled slowly as I activated Vampire Mode, charging up lightning in my fist as I transformed, using three seconds to charge it up before extending out my wings and rapidly shooting up.

As I shot past Selesa, I saw her begin to react, but her head looked like it was turning towards me in slow motion. By the time it had moved a couple of inches, I had already reached the Wyverns.

I slammed my fist in the midsection of one of them, blowing away its entire torso, eradicating it entirely except for its head and half its tail.

Scarlet Shocker Punch!

I then zipped across to one of the two remaining ones, grabbed it by the tail and swung it above me like a whip, spinning it round and round as fast as I could before swinging my arm down with all the strength I could muster, letting go as I did. Its body slammed into the ground in less than a second, with enough force to create a small crater around it and send out a shockwave. A second later, it disappeared into dust.

I still had more than half my time limit remaining.

"Bang."

I extended my right hand in a finger-gun motion and used Lightning Bullet aimed at the right arm of the remaining Wyvern, blasting it off. Its wings began to flap to get away from me, but before it could even complete half a flap, I fired another Lightning Bullet at its left arm.

I then took aim at it legs. Then it's tail. I had now blasted off all of its limbs and tail. Heh...this was kinda fun. The severed limbs disappeared into dust, but the monster was still alive and remained intact.

Let's see how much further I can push it.

I fired a couple more bullets aimed at the base of its wings, zapping them off and causing the monster to plummet down to the ground. It couldn't move anymore, and as it began to open its mouth and fire a lightning blast at the others, I rapidly descended in the blink of an eye, stomping on its snout as I landed, slamming its mouth shut and causing the lightning bolt to burst inside its mouth. I felt the bones in its face cracking and snapping as I pushed down with more weight behind my foot.

"Guess that's as far as I can toy with you...now die, Lightning Bullet Barrage," I remarked in a bored tone, before firing multiple Lightning Bullets from both my hands, wiping it out.

I then returned to my normal state with a satisfied sigh. I still had about two and a half seconds left, so my cooldown time should be about five to ten minutes shorter.

"W-woah, what was that!? That was really friggin' cool! Explain, explain, explain!" Exclaimed Selesa, rushing over to me, grabbing onto my shoulders and shaking me back and forth.

"Uh...ask one of the others. I can't be bothered explaining it. Let's keep moving!"

"You're such a dick! No, that's not quite enough...you're an STD-infested dick!"

Her insults were really annoying. My eyebrow twitched with irritation, but I kept it together and forced myself to ignore her as I began moving forward.

For the rest of the day, we ran into a total of eleven more Storm Wyverns, I took out seven while Selesa took out four.

Food and water was no problem at all in this area, we passed by small groves of fruit trees, plenty of animals, and a few lakes and streams.

We covered some good ground over the span of the day, before eventually setting up camp behind a row of bushes and small trees. We were still in Storm Wyvern territory, so we would have to take turns keeping watch.

We caught and fried a few wild hens for dinner, after which we set up piles of leaves to sleep on.

"Hey, wanna sleep with your big sister?" Selesa asked Les with a teasing look, pouncing on him from behind before ruffling his hair with a grin.

He broke free from her grasp and took a couple of steps back. He looked both irritated and uncomfortable at the same time.

"N-no, thanks. I'll sleep on my own."

"Aww, you sure? It'll be nice, warm and toasty, you know. You loved sleeping with me when you were little," She pressed, stepping forward and leaning towards him with a smirk.

"You're being embarrassing, sister. Please stop," Sighed Les in exasperation.

"Hmph, fine...I was just teasing you anyway," She huffed, before sticking her tongue out.

"That was...uncomfortable to watch," Misen muttered quietly, as he lay down on his pile of leaves and yawned.

I had to agree, that was kinda awkward. Especially since she seemed genuinely disappointed that he refused. Maybe it was just my imagination.

Not long after that, the others went to sleep as I climbed up one of the trees and perched myself at the top branch, keeping an eye out for any Wyverns, as well as any wild animals. A couple of foxes showed up, but ran away after I fired streaks of lightning in front of them.

I heard the leaves below me rustling, and reached for my sword, before lowering my arm as Selesa appeared in front of me, flying.

"Mind if I join you?"

"Yeah, I mind."

She ignored my response and landed in front of me on a branch near the one I was on.

"Say...do you have the memories of your previous life?" She asked bluntly, getting straight to the point.

"...yeah, I guess," I sighed with a shrug.

"Cool! Thought so after you said 'no shit, Sherloc-'...!"

"You should go to sleep, you'll be keeping watch after me, so unless you want to stay up for four hours-."

"I don't have a problem with that!"

...I just can't win.

"Whatever, do what you want, I guess."

I opened up the bottle of water I'd brought with me and began to take a swig of it.

"I intend to! So, hey...are you single?"

I almost choked on the water and let out a cough, before staring at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Huh? Where'd that come from?"

"Hehe, well, you're insanely strong and definitely not bad looking, plus I'm totally into younger guys!"

"Uh, good for you, I guess...but is a mission like this really the right time to try and hook up? Oh, and no, I'm not single."

"It's exactly because it's a mission like this, I could totes die within the next couple of weeks! Aw, that's too bad, you're just my type too...well, if you're the loyal type, I won't push you, but if you're not...don't worry my lips are sealed...well, my upper lips will be anyway, but my lower-."

"Yeah, not interested."

"This blows...I thought I'd be having my own little harem during this journey, guess I was wrong," She sighed wistfully.

"Uh...a harem? You do realize that one of us is your brother, right?"

"Well, actually...I sometimes have a hard time seeing him as my brother since I have my old memories...and if I'm being honest, the whole taboo part of it makes the thought of it kinda hot...," She trailed off with a sheepish grin.

She...wasn't kidding, I could tell that she meant that.

"Wow, so...earlier, when you asked him to sleep with you..."

"Hehe, well, the plan was to pretend to be asleep and have some 'accidents'...I could be as grabby as I wanted to be, and just blamed it on being asleep! It was a perfect plan, but unfortunately he refused. I don't get it, he was totally fine with it a few years ago."

"..."

"H-hey, why're you looking at me like that, as if I'm a soggy dingle-berry or something?"

"You're, uh...a pervert, aren't you?"

"Oh, please...everyone's a pervert to some extent-."

"Yeah, but not to this extent."

"..."

"..."

"S-stop judging me!"

"Easier said than done. I mean, I've never had any siblings so I can't relate, but incest is...disturbing, to say the least."

"Well, I was an only child in my old life, and I was super into sibling incest ero-games...I have to admit, they were really addicting! And then I was born here, and three years later, I had a brother...but thanks to having my old memories, I was never able to see this world as my world, even now it still feels foreign sometimes, it's almost like a really long dream, it's like I haven't quite yet processed the fact that this is my new normal, it almost feels like I'm playing a VR game or something, you know?"

"Huh, I think I get what you're saying, but I don't think I've ever felt that way, this world feels as real to me as my old one did, in fact, I prefer this life to my old one. Also...that's your justification for wanting to fuck your brother?"

"...yes?"

"..."

"..."

"...pervert. And just to clarify, you two are siblings by blood right, as in one of you isn't adopted or something? Because if that's the case...it's not nearly as weird."

"...n-no, we're related by blood. That's, uh, kinda the hottest part about it. I can't be too blatant with my seduction attempts though, I gotta play it slow and steady and build up his corruption points...just like in the games!" She grinned sheepishly as her tail wagged rapidly and her face turned slightly red.

This girl is beyond help. And while I couldn't deny that she was strong and a more-than-handy fighter, there was one thing I was having some trouble believing...

"Hey, be honest...are you really the one who investigated the spies in Silvland, I find that kinda hard to believe."

"Hey, how rude! I'm an awesome detective, you overused tampon! I rounded out the list of suspects, investigated most of them while Les did the rest, and guess what, my suspect list ended up with an eighty percent guilty rate, meaning that nearly everyone I listed as a suspect turned out to be a spy! Though, I should admit, after the first one blew himself up and almost killed me, I left the actual confrontation part to others. All the investigating was mostly me, though!"

"Oh, yeah? And what was your criteria for determining who was suspicious enough to be deemed a suspect?"

If she was bullshitting me, then she was unlikely to have a proper answer to this question.

"I listed down the names of people with close ties to Goldway and Platinberg, particularly those in positions where they'd have access to information worth stealing. Most of the spies turned out to be nobles who secretly didn't believe in the religion of Silvland and despised it since anyone who claims to be a disbeliever will be executed. Well, that law is in the process of being abolished to allow religious freedom, but I kinda get it, it's definitely a pain right now...fake-worshipping just to avoid getting executed is exhausting!"

Huh, she didn't seem to be lying. She had a lot of issues and was a nuisance to deal with, but her skills, both physically and mentally, appeared to be the real deal. They say there's a fine line between genius and madness, and those that walk that line tend to be rather...eccentric. Though incestuous tendencies were certainly a bit more than 'eccentric'.

"Well, I can understand disliking religion and religious fanatics. People who don't live by a sense of logic and instead cling to baseless faith...I have no idea how their minds operate, and that unpredictability makes me uneasy. I've had my fair share of run ins with religious extremist terrorists and fanatical cults in my old life, and honestly, fuck that."

"You've got some pretty strong feelings towards religion, huh? Yeah, me too. So, hey...wanna makeout or something?"

"...I'll pass."

"But I'm so bored- ow, ow, ow!" She cried, as I reached forward and grabbed her twintails before pulling on them, "Y-you're gonna rip my hair out!"

I let go with an irritated sigh, as her tail drooped down and wagged slowly.

"If you're bored, just go to sleep."

"Actually...I think I kinda liked that, do it again!"

...really, ANOTHER masochist? I ignored her and stared up at the sky.

"Hey, come on, stop being such a tease-," She smirked, beginning to scoot over to me as her tail wagged.

"Down, girl," I interrupted, firing a Lightning Bullet at her.

I aimed it at above her shoulder, like a warning shot, but she moved, and it ended up zapping her left boob.

"Ow! That really stings! Oh...actually, that numb and tingly feeling is...kinda nice," She grinned, before fondling her boobs and adding, "It kinda tickles but in a good way."

"What is wrong with you?" I sighed, averting my gaze as she jiggled her boobs.

"Aww, the tingly numbness is starting to fade. Do it agai-...w-wait, uh...what are y-you...?" She trailed off nervously, as I extracted all my Karma and began charging up my Incineration Cannon.

I'm gonna end this right here and now.

"What's the matter, I thought you just asked me to do it again...?"

"Th-that could kill m-me! H-hey, didn't your mother ever teach you to respect your elders?"

"I've never had a mother, and I've never respected an elder...the idea of treating someone like they're superior to me just because they've been alive for a few years more is stupid, and I will always believe that."

"O-okay, okay! I'm going down, don't shoot!" She replied, quickly flying down and flopping down into her pile of leaves.

I let out an exaggerated sigh of relief as I dispersed the lightning I had been charging up and transferred the Karma back into the orb.

Well, that had been exasperatingly stressful. What a troublesome teammate I was stuck with. Despite her skills and apparent intellect, she had the tendency to be childish, an obnoxious sense of confidence, she was a huge perv, and overall...she's an idiot. I was not looking forward to having to continue to deal with her. And this...was only the first day...

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