god level spoof

() In order to avoid getting burned, Li Ye planned to teach them how to use the toilet immediately.

He didn't waste any time, and went straight forward to point out the purpose and use of everything in the bathroom, such as how to use the water faucet, the toilet, and of course, how to flush after finishing, and how to get toilet paper.

, by the way, how to use hand sanitizer after cleaning your butt and putting on your pants... I even showed you how to sit on the toilet.

After all, Li Ye had been an actor for a period of time. Although he was a minor player, his understanding of language was very limited. After a few words, he had said everything he needed to say, and then planned to walk out of the bathroom immediately.

But he found that there was something wrong with Miss Dugu's expression, and her expression was also uneasy. This made Li Ziye puzzled: Did he say something wrong just now?

Dugu girl asked a very straightforward question: "Did I hear correctly? Use paper to wipe your butt!" Although this sentence sounds ridiculous, the point is that this sentence came from the mouth of a girl.

"Of course, if you don't use paper, what should you use? With your fingers?" Li Ye's heart was not that big, so he answered casually, his expression quite calm.

Hearing this answer, Dugu girl didn't look angry at all. Instead, she held her delicate chin and seemed to be thinking...

In fact, there was only one issue that Li Ye did not consider, and that was the times.

You must know that papermaking was a great invention in the Han Dynasty, but it was not until the Yuan Dynasty that the products of this technology were applied to people's most practical life: going to the toilet, that is, going to the toilet.

Why did it come to the Yuan Dynasty? The main reason is that the Yuan Dynasty was founded by the Mongols, and its culture was relatively backward. There was no Han nationality's awareness of "respecting writing paper", so toilet paper entered people's lives.

In the past, for a long time, everyone used bamboo chips to make toilet hygiene products, even the emperor was no exception. During the Tang and Song Dynasties, people used a kind of wood chips called "toilet chips" or "toilet chips".

Bamboo chips, toilet chips are also called toilet slips. The method of using toilet sticks was introduced from India with Buddhism. Later, the change of toilet sticks into paper was started by the Mongolian Yuan Dynasty royal family. Simply put, it is a piece of wood used to wipe away dirt after defecation.

Strips or bamboo strips. This kind of toilet chip was still used in some areas of China and Japan last century...

However, Li Ye's head was spinning faster, and he immediately thought of this problem. It seemed that Dugu Meizi, a native of the Song Dynasty, still had this concept of "respecting calligraphy paper".

"Great, wipe your butt with paper, why didn't I think of it? This way, it will not only be clean, but also very comfortable."

Sister Dugu suddenly looked like she had a sudden realization. She smiled happily and looked at Li Ye happily: "I didn't expect you to be so smart that you would think of using paper to wipe your butt."

"..." Li Ye was speechless for a while. Being praised by such words, he didn't feel the slightest sense of accomplishment, let alone any sense of superiority in terms of IQ.

After the two people understood how to use the toilet, they immediately kicked Li Ye out...

Uh, no!

After Li Ye came out of the bathroom, his face suddenly turned black. It seemed that the Dugu girl and Ximen transvestite in the bathroom were a man and a woman? A man and a woman were having sex in the bathroom...

Without saying a word, Li Ye immediately turned around and opened the door. Immediately, Li Ye heard a scream:

"ah--"

According to common sense, those who scream are usually women, but this time it is an exception - in the bathroom, Ximen, the transvestite, is unbuttoning her belt, and is about to pull down her pants and sit on the toilet. At this moment, his eyes are filled with tears.

Li Ye looked at Li Ye in fear, as if he had seen a wild beast.

Li Ye was stunned for a moment, then immediately looked to the side and found that Dugu girl was facing away from Ximen, and hummed: "Hurry up, it takes so long to unbutton your pants, are you still a man?"

"Uh, sorry to bother you."

Li Ye laughed dryly at Ximen, and quickly stepped forward to hold Dugu's arm: "Miss Dugu, you are a girl. When Brother Chui Xue plays the tuba, you'd better stay away."

With that said, Li Ye was about to pull Dugu girl out of the bathroom, but at this moment, Ximen, the pseudo-mother, said: "Sir, do you want to see Chui Xue's body? I can show it to you."

Li Ye subconsciously turned his head to look, and found that Ximen, the pseudo-mother, had suddenly changed from fear to shyness, looking at him with watery eyes...

I'm going to pinch you! Even if you are so generous, I will be embarrassed. Li Ye's cheeks stiffened and he reluctantly replied: "Thank you Brother Chuixue for your kindness. After all, I am a man myself and I already know the male body very well.

La, so now I am only curious about women’s bodies.”

Dugu girl suddenly broke away from Li Ye's hand, squeezed her pink fist and said: "Xiaoye (ya)zi, what are you doing? I am competing with him to see who can finish pulling first, you should go out first. I will definitely win.

…”

"No!" Li Ye's voice suddenly became thirty decibels louder. This was the first time he had such a firm attitude - at this moment, Li Ye didn't even care that Dugu sister called him a little yakuza.

.

Li Ye, who stopped talking nonsense, roared domineeringly: "Come out with me!"

With that said, Li Ye had already walked out of the bathroom, but his eyes were still staring at Dugu girl fiercely, revealing domineering and decisiveness.

The Dugu girl was startled for a moment, pouted, and walked out of the bathroom reluctantly.

Li Ye was greatly surprised to see Sister Dugu compromise with him for the first time. Could it be that he also had the attributes of Long Aotian? Otherwise, how could he have convinced Sister Dugu so easily?

Li Ye still understood the principle of accepting it when it was good. He didn't say much, but closed the bathroom door, walked to the hall, and said: "Miss Dugu, I don't know what your favorite thing is.

?”

"Fight!" Dugu girl said in a muffled voice.

"Except for fighting."

"Still fighting!"

"..." Li Ye rolled his eyes and said helplessly: "Of course it's because it feels good. If it wasn't because it feels good, would you go to fight?"

Dugu girl was startled for a moment, and said blankly: "Oh, you can also say that, it does feel very good when fighting. It's more comfortable than killing chickens and getting on the big table." After sweating, Li Ye had already been attracted to Dugu.

She is completely immune to the vulgar words coming out of her mouth. This little girl is really very straightforward, but you can also see her innocent and cute side.

"Then do you want to do something more enjoyable?" Li Ye asked.

From any point of view, as a male, Li Ye’s words to a female are quite meaningful~

"The more exciting thing, what is that?"

"Don't be anxious yet, you will know next~";