Hong Kong variety show starting from zombies

"Why haven't you seen me for a long time? Mr. Police Officer, my name is Robinson. I have been living on an isolated island for many years. I finally met someone. Can you call the police for me?"

Xiao Zhang's reaction speed is also extremely fast.

But Uncle Feng obviously liked reading, and continued to say with a cold smile: "Oh, Robinson Crusoe, I thought you were an old acquaintance of mine, Xiao Zhang."

"Xiao Zhang?" Xiao Zhang asked in a surprised tone: "Someone actually called Arrogant. This name is too arrogant. It doesn't sound like a good thing. But it's not important, Mr. Police Officer, I'm cold and hungry now. Can you help me find some clothes and food."

"Xiao Zhang, he is indeed not a good thing, he is just a dangerous person with evil intentions. As for clothes and food...do you need to eat now?"

After saying this, Uncle Feng fell silent and stared at Xiao Zhang with cold eyes.

This made Xiao Zhang also fall silent.

He actually knew very well that there was no point in sophistry. Uncle Feng was obviously waiting for him.

To be honest, he is now covered in hair all over his body and on his face. Even when he looks at himself in the mirror, he is a little unrecognizable.

Even if this Uncle Feng is Uncle Jiu, he shouldn't be recognized at a glance.

Could it be that it's too protruding?

But Uncle Jiu never saw how prominent he was before.

No, after he died, Uncle Jiu seemed to have performed an autopsy on him, so was it because he was deeply impressed at the time?

"Uncle Jiu, I'm familiar with you, but if you want to slander me as a criminal, I will sue you for defamation."

Xiao Zhang admitted generously.

But what he didn't expect was that after hearing his words, Uncle Feng actually laughed, but his eyes were still cold.

"Let's call me Uncle Feng. No one has called me Uncle Jiu for decades."

Uncle Feng seemed to have thought of some people and things, and his cold eyes turned a little sad, but he still stared at Xiao Zhang and said, "Do you know how many years I have been waiting for you here?"

? ? ?

Wasn't it my unlucky chance encounter?

Xiao Zhang was very shocked, but he also saw that Uncle Feng didn't seem to have any intention of killing him directly.

Although I'm not sure whether it's because Uncle Feng is too old that he starts to show mercy, or because he behaves like a normal person instead of a zombie who has lost his mind.

But it's a good sign after all.

"Uncle Feng, you have worked really hard." Xiao Zhang said with a smile: "Don't worry, old man, I will definitely abide by the law, help others, and uphold justice on behalf of heaven. What about helping an old lady cross the road, what about saving The lost girl, no, it’s to save the orphaned girl, punish the foreign female devil, etc. Please don’t worry, I will do it without any complaints.”

Uncle Feng frowned slightly and asked, "You say that, are you really not afraid of death?"

Xiao Zhang smiled even happier because he knew the reason why Uncle Feng didn't kill him.

"Uncle Feng, I am a human being, a good person who has never committed a crime, a decent person with normal IQ and EQ, and you are a policeman. May I ask, why do you kill me?"

"A serious person?" Uncle Feng asked back and did not argue. Instead, he said in a tone that stated the facts: "As a policeman, I am also a serious Maoshan Taoist priest, and you are a zombie, so I have What's the reason not to kill you?"

Xiao Zhang finally breathed a sigh of relief.

Just talk about it. The last time he met Uncle Feng, he was still a zombie who couldn't speak.

Looking back now, he had just turned into a zombie and jumped all the way into Uncle Feng's yard. His whole body was muddy and filled with green corpse aura, and he made a 'ouch' sound.

It's no wonder that Uncle Feng came out to kill him, but even if he couldn't kill him, he chased him for more than a hundred miles.

"Zombies?"

Xiao Zhang spread his hands and shrugged.

This is something that action zombies generally can't do, but it's not enough.

So Xiao Zhang started to show more movements, such as push-ups, push-ups, small electric motors and so on.

Although his body became much stiffer at night, these movements were within the normal range. Movements such as the one-word horse, which Xiao Zhang could not do at night, could be done easily during the day.

"Uncle Feng, have you ever seen a zombie as flexible as me? It's still night, if it's daytime, I can be more flexible."

The way Uncle Feng looked at Xiao Zhang during this period was like looking at a clown performing a poor performance.

But Xiao Zhang is getting happier and happier.

Who would be willing to be a clown if not to survive?

After watching the performance, Uncle Feng's tone became more gentle and asked: "Have you guessed that the more human you look, the less likely I will kill you?"

"What do you mean it looks like it?" Xiao Zhang adjusted the thick hair on his body to make himself look a little more normal, and said: "Uncle Feng, I am just a person. Look around me, there is no ghost. "

Making jokes is a behavior that is unique to humans.

But Uncle Feng's expression and tone didn't seem like he was joking. He stared at the air next to Xiao Zhang and said, "Who said there isn't even a shadow of a ghost around you?"

Xiao Zhang was stunned for a moment.

Then the black hair all over his body stood up straight, and the whole person seemed to have turned into a hedgehog, suddenly bouncing towards Uncle Feng's location.

"Ghost! There is a ghost!"

If Xiao Zhang hadn't screamed in terror when he jumped over, Uncle Feng might have taken action directly.

Because no matter how you look at it, it looks like a giant hedgehog transformed into a humanoid to attack you.

After taking two steps back slightly to distance himself from Xiao Zhang who had landed on the ground, Uncle Feng sighed and said, "Xiao Zhang, you've overacted. You weren't afraid of ghosts before you turned into a zombie. Why are you now?" Are you so scared?"

This is about the past in the early years of the Republic of China.

There was a ghost who wanted to harm Xiao Zhang, but Uncle Jiu took him away. It was also because of this incident that Xiao Zhang was sure that Uncle Jiu knew the real Maoshan Taoism, so he had the idea of ​​becoming a disciple.

"Can it be the same?" Xiao Zhang did not feel that his acting skills were poor, and defended: "The one who harmed me at that time was a female ghost. If it really happened, it doesn't necessarily mean who suffered. But now, Uncle Feng, you are saying that there is a ghost. , I don’t know if it’s a male ghost or a female ghost.”

"I didn't say there was a ghost around you." Uncle Feng shook his head slightly and said, "You don't have to act with me anymore. I know your intelligence and memory are still there."

"It's good if there are no ghosts. Uncle Feng, you don't know. The female ghost was really troublesome at that time. The main reason is that I don't know whether her appearance and figure are real or whether she is an illusion." Xiao Zhang laughed. Said: "It would be better if you, old man, know that I am still a human being."

"You are no longer a human, you just look like a human." Uncle Feng sighed again and corrected: "Also, don't call me you old man anymore. When it comes to old people, you are the same now, no worse than me. How many."

Xiao Zhang used both hands to pull away the hair on his face, exposing his white, tender and firm skin as much as possible, and said, "Look, I'm young, I don't look like an old man."

Uncle Feng chuckled twice and said, "Let me remind you, you are already over ninety years old."

It seems...it's true.

When he thought about the 70 years he had slept, Xiao Zhang felt that time passed so quickly.

"Uncle Feng, how old are you this year? It's been 70 years, how come you haven't aged? Could it be that...you have become an immortal, jumped out of the three realms and are no longer in the five elements, and you are as immortal as the sky. ?”

"If I become an immortal through cultivation, do I still need to be a policeman here?" Uncle Feng asked back, and said in a somewhat bleak tone: "I am already 126 years old. Although I don't look old, I don't have many more years to live. .”

Xiao Zhang's eyes lit up, and what came out was no longer green light, but black light.

"Not many years, how many years?"

"If you're not lucky, it will only take seven or eight years. If you are lucky... you might even become an immortal."

Xiao Zhang was stunned for a moment: Can he really become an immortal through cultivation?

"Master, please bow to me, my disciple."

With a pop, Xiao Zhang kept the kneeling he had done 70 years ago when he was preparing to become a disciple, and left it to this day 70 years later.

But this time, Uncle Feng didn't directly tell him to get lost.