How to Raise Your Regressor

Blood oozed out from the slit I made on her chest.

Needless to say, Arteria had accepted my conditions; she seemed really obsessed with this particular heart, after all.

She's acting like it's her long-lost child or something.

And that makes those input guards all the more necessary. Their purpose is simple; to restrict the heart from taking over Arteria's body or mind.

It can, however, perform all its other functions without any hindrance, like beating to supply blood and oxygen to the body; I couldn't really put an input guard on that now, could I?

It would be pretty awkward to have your heart ask for your permission before pumping blood throughout your body; that would take body autonomy to a whole new level.

Not to mention that the person would either die or always be on the verge of death.

"Oh, right," As I saw Arteria trying to look down to check what was happening with her body, I was reminded of something. "I forgot about that."

"What?"

I used a simple magic spell and conjured a big ass mirror above us.

"There, you can see for yourself the things I'm going to do with your body."

That sounded strangely evil.

"Oh, thanks."

The reason she could still talk was that I had only paralysed the body below her neck; not only because Arteria wanted it, but I also needed someone to keep me from getting bored.

Would be weird if I got bored during the surgery and accidentally wired her heart wrong.

"No worries," I resumed my work.

"And try not to ruin my breasts, please," she smirked.

"What does it matter? It's not like you're going to use them, anyway."

"…What is that supposed to mean, Samur?" Her voice suddenly turned cold.

"Hmm, yes, the flesh here is made out of flesh."

Pretty interesting, if I do say so myself.

"I said, what is that supposed to mean?"

Jesus, she sure took that joke well. What is she, a member of the New Dawn Guild?

Oh wait.

"Hey, let me focus on the surgery, okay? The last thing I want is for you to die because I cut the wrong thing because I was nervous."

"And why would you be nervous, hmm?"

Damn, she's good.

"Are you deaf?"

"Alright, then. We will discuss this later."

Alright, you know what? I won't stand for this treatment.

Like, okay, that joke was pretty offensive, sexist and might have touched a nerve somewhere, but that doesn't mean you can treat me like this, Arteria.

"You do know you are talking to your surgeon, right?" I asked as I stopped my hands.

Trying to threaten someone who holds your life in his hands is not the most tactical decision, Arteria.

"…" She silently started at me for some moments, then averted her gaze to look at the mirror. "Forget I said anything."

"Now that's my boy, or girl, actually."

Let's get back to the operation.

Now, as previously stated, Vampire anatomy is actually pretty similar to a human's, and that's because they were made from the same mould.

I don't mean that metaphorically; on a Universal level, humans are actually the descendants of vampires.

So the politically correct statement would be that human anatomy resembles that of a vampire's.

What this means is that thankfully, I only had a single heart to replace.

"By the way, why are you so obsessed with this heart?"

Might as well ask that to avoid getting bored.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what the words say. If you had given me a bit more time, I could have made something similar but better and safer for you. So why did you insist on getting this particular heart?"

In fact, with more time, I could have added an automatic Elixir creating function in her heart, which would have practically made her immortal.

"There's no particular reason behind it."

Hmm, yes, sure.

"You also said something about not having a choice. That statement would have made sense if I was blackmailing you, but the truth is that you are the one who is forcing me."

"And you are the one who brought me here and showed me that heart," she scoffed.

"I also asked you to give me more time because there clearly is something wrong with the heart, yet here we are."

"…" Her gaze settled on me (or so I felt; I frankly didn't know because I was focusing on the surgery).

A stretch of uncomfortable silence followed. Was she reminiscing about the past? Or was she wondering how to answer?

Or was she just thinking about random things just like I do?

"So?"

That should have been enough time to think up of an answer.

"Forget it. You wouldn't understand."

"Humour me."

I'm the First Being who brought existence from the void and am currently living my 151,897,914th life. I'm sure I can understand the woes of a petty mortal.

And that's because I have seen them all.

"…Don't laugh at me, okay?"

"Okay."

By which I mean I'll try my moderately best.

I mean, I won't be able to stop myself from chuckling if she said something like, 'The new heart is good for my skin care routine'.

Which, by the way, it actually is.

Gotta add that to my sales pitch later.

"I don't know how to properly explain it to you, but I felt a certain connection with that heart. It was almost as if it was… family."

"Okay," I nodded.

"It actually reminded me of my naughty little brother," she giggled.

"Ahhhh, I see."

Seriously?

Hot damn, I don't mean to brag, but I might have created something truly special.

Also, I can now see where she's going with this.

"Did you understand what I'm trying to say?" She furrowed her brows.

"Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but looks like your connection with the heart was so strong that when you thought about it being destroyed by my hands, you felt that you were going to lose a family member."

While being a bit weird, that would explain her desperation in getting this heart. She has already lost her family once; I doubt she'd want to go through the same experience.

Well, whatever floats her boat, I guess.

"What…" Her jaw dropped down (or so I felt from her tone because I was focusing on the surgery). "Y-you really understood me."

"Well, in case you forgot, I'm the guy who graded your tragic backstories. Something like this is a piece of cake for me."

Oh, wait, did she even understand the meaning of 'piece of cake'? It's an idiom from Earth, after all.

"Ha, you're unbelievable," she lightly scoffed.

"Took you a long time to understand that."

Objectively speaking, I've been doing weird shit since the day I met these wankers. I'm actually surprised it took her so long to understand that I'm extraordinary.

"Perhaps," she sighed. "So, what about you?"

"What about me?"

"What's your story."

"I'm sure I already narrated my 5/10 backstory."

"I'm not talking about that. I want your real story."

Oh?