How to Raise Your Regressor
Chapter 86 - Peak
"Boom, headshot!"
The enhanced Titanium slug fired from the Gauss Sabot Rifle MK-III pierced both the physical and magical defences of the Dragon and forfeited his life privileges.
It also gave me a hard-on.
I mean, a 1080 dual backflip quick scope rendezook.
If this isn't the peak of my gaming career, I don't know what is. Also, I think I might've orgasmed.
Anyway, following the laws of gravity, the near-death Dragon and I (along with the several chunks of our flesh, the debris of my exploded gun as well as its brain matter) began to fall down at the same time.
I looked over at the Dragon and saw red- ah wait, that's my own blood. Looks like some of it got into my eyes.
Anyway, I could make out an expression on its face which said, 'What the fuck?'.
And so, I winked at him.
It closed his eyes, never to open them again.
Yikes.
Imagine seeing the person who snatched your life wink at you just before you die.
My, uh, condolences for the Dragon.
「Samur!」
Oh right, Neia is here as well.
「Oh, hello there.」 I greeted her as she gently caught me on her back. 「Did you see that?」
She should have, given she had turned around with some exquisite form to catch me the moment I jumped off her back.
But does she understand what I just did? If yes, is she aware of the significance of my achievement on the gaming community as a whole?
Well, even if she doesn't, I'll just turn her into a gamer and make her see my excellence.
「You just hate your arms, don't you?!」
Hmm?
「Being armless is so liberating. You should try it sometime.」
「No thanks!」
「Anyway, did you just see what I pulled off back there?」
「You recklessly endangered your life!」
「Bruh.」
「Don't bruh me! Don't you fucking bruh me!」
Huh, it would seem Neia is a bit too emotional to marvel at my feat.
「Whatever. Why don't we land somewhere and treat myself, unless, you know, you want to go back to the Guild like this.」
I doubt that would be the most strategic play on our part.
「…Alright.」 She sighed.
Oh, she's more understanding than Noelle. Nice. I seriously hope the latter could take a page from her book.
By the way, the idiom 'Take a page from someone's book' is a bit misleading, in my opinion. It means 'to do something in the same way someone else would do'.
But the phrase itself implies you're 'stealing' that way of doing something from that certain someone, thus rendering that someone incapable of using that method again.
In other words, you are taking the page listing a method from someone's manual; when the latter loses the page, they would be unable to use that method because it's no longer in their manual.
This idiom could be better written as, 'Copy a page from someone's book'.
But then again, implying something completely different from its literal meaning is what an idiom is supposed to do.
Does that mean that if we exchange 'Take' from 'Copy' to make the idiom more literal, the idiom would stop being an idiom?
Top 10 questions Science still can't answer.
While I was facing the dilemma of my life, Neia reached the ground and landed, except this time, there were no cosplaying or sick drifts.
You disappoint me, Neia.
「Can you get off on your own?」
「Of course.」
What do you take me to be, a 12-year-old child who just lost both of his arms because he wanted to pull off a meme tactic?
If yes, then you're absolutely right.
And so, I got off from her back with a sick backflip, but stumbled on my landing because I didn't have any arms to balance myself.
Hmm, who would have thought that getting one arm sliced off while blasting the other off to oblivion would have its consequences.
"Are you alright?" Neia asked as she turned back into her human form.
Umm, Neia, I'm no medical professional, but I definitely wouldn't call myself healthy.
Is she blind or what?
"Never been better."
"…" She looked at me like I was an exotic Dragon. "Just take a seat there. I'll start treating you."
"As you wish, my lady."
I heeded her orders and seated myself on a large boulder (I had to be helped by her because I didn't have any arms to help myself up).
She bent down and started scrutinizing my armless shoulders.
"This might hurt a little… do you even feel any pain?" She looked up at me as her eyes shook a little.
"What do you think?"
This shouldn't even be up for discussion.
"I'm beginning to doubt what I think."
Hmm, this woman's concern for me is at the threshold. Fuck.
"Well, you are right. I feel absolutely nothing."
"…What?"
"We have my family to thank for that."
"How?"
"You know, back when I was little, they subjected me to tortures so great that the pain of losing my arms feels like a tickle. Oh, apparently, they did that to train my pain receptors."
"Oh my God…" Her figure trembled, probably because she imagined the kinds of torments they subjected me to.
"I think it first started when I was 5. My father took my arm and a blade, and made a small cut. As I started crying from the pain, he made an incision along my entire arm. As I struggled, he deepened the cut and started skinning my arm."
"…" She wordlessly gasped.
"It hurt so much that I thought I'd die; no, I wanted to die than feel that pain for even a second more. However, the doctor at his side kept from dying or fainting, so my wish was never granted. But that was just the beginning."
"…"
"By the age of 7, I had gotten used to the pain of being skinned alive. I could actually do every day chores from my left hand as my right arm was being skinned. I could run after having both of my legs skinned. I could sleep soundly after having my entire body skinned from head to toe."
"Stop…" A tear fell down her eyes.
…
Bruh.
"And that's when the first phase of my training ended."
"W-what…?" She reacted to the phrase 'First phase'.
"Yup. Being skinned alive was just the first phase. What came after that was hell in the truest sense of the word."
"No, that can't be…"
"Do you know why I am completely unfazed by absolutely everything, Neia?"
"…" Her eyes widened as she perhaps arrived at her own answer.
"Because I've seen things far worse than what the outside world can show me." I smiled.
"No…" She burst into tears.
"And do you know the best part about this, Neia?"
"…" Her eyes widened to their extreme, as if begging me to stop.
"I'm just joking."
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