How to Raise Your Regressor

Chapter 87 - Was It On Purpose?

"You know the best part about this, Neia? I'm just joking." I smiled at her.

Get pranked, big gurl.

"…Eh?" She stupidly grunted.

"You take things way too seriously, Neia. Just take a step back and relax. Why so serious?"

Like, what, is this the first time a 12-year-old child has joked with you? Grow up, mate.

"…" She continued staring at me like a broken doll.

"Um, hello?"

Hmm, did I go too far with my prank?

"You fucking piece of shit!" She suddenly pounced on me.

Unable to handle her tackle (cuz I don't have any arms), I fell backwards and toppled down the boulder.

Neia followed the same route as me (except that she fell forwards).

By the end, I was lying on the ground while she was straddling me.

"Aww, fuck, what was that for- oof!" My complaint was interrupted by a punch to the face.

Aight, looks like she took the joke WAY too seriously.

"Whoa, hold on- guh!" Another punch landed on my face.

Welp, the Dragon is serious.

I tried to raise my hands to defend myself but only got another punch to the face; right, I had no arms.

Separating my arms from my torso is really coming to bite me back.

Fuck.

Let's just hope she doesn't disfigure my face too much; I was planning to pick up girls this evening.

However, Neia abruptly stopped before the fourth punch could connect, her first centimetres away from my face.

"Weren't you supposed to have zero attack power?"

Her hits hurt, that much I can tell ya.

"…"

"It would seem I have stepped on a landmine. Bruh."

Huh, to think my plan would work that well.

My genius scares me (even though this series of events was just a coincidence).

Did some part of my fake history resonate with her on a level much deeper than I was expecting it to?

"…" With a hellfire burning behind her eyes, she slowly and wordlessly withdrew her fist.

There was not a semblance of the former, gentle Neia in the woman sitting atop me. It was as if my words had unleashed a beast who would not go back until it drank the blood of 69 virgins.

"Thank you- guh!" Alright, she got me there.

Also, that was a cheap shot, Neia.

What a fucking asshole. I hope she burns in hell for attacking a cripple.

Hmmm? 'You provoked her into this, you piece of shit, mistake of a human!', you say?

Lalalalalalalalalalal, I can't hear you.

With that final punch, Neia got up. After glaring at me one last time, she turned around and started walking away.

"Ah, wait, what about healing me?" I asked.

"Fuck off." She replied without even looking back.

The next moment, she turned into her Dragonoid form and flew away, leaving me armless in a forest full of monsters.

Okay, seems like she's more furious than I thought. I doubt she'll be coming back anytime soon.

And you know what that means? A golden opportunity to get eaten by the monsters of this forest.

Thought that would be a bit anticlimactic, now that I think about it.

Dying at the hands of some pathetic monsters after pulling off one of the greatest combos of my career would be a bruh moment for me.

But this is still a good opportunity to abandon this mistake of a life and move on to the next one.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Well, whatever the option I chose, in my current state, the monsters would find me by the smell of my blood and kill me nonetheless.

So, what should I do?

I guess it would be a shame to not see the fruits of my labour with my own eyes after working so hard for them.

Also, this is a good opportunity to test out of my newest creation.

In other words, I'll have to let go of this chance.

Ultra sed.

And so, I walked to my bag, which had been flung away when Neia attacked me.

Using my superb footwork, I opened the bag, took out a small potion bottle with clear liquid inside it, and flung it up.

Then I caught it in my mouth and crushed it with my teeth.

Ouch.

The shattered glass pierced my mouth and tongue in several places, but I gulped down the potion. Some glass shards also went down my throat.

Ouch.

However, the potion started its work as soon as I drank it.

The next moment, from the ends of my shoulders, grotesque masses of meat jutted out.

They squirmed and wriggled, as if they were a group of earthworms, until they took the shape of my arms,

Then they underwent a qualitative change until what I was left with were arms which were as good as they were 2 hours ago.

"Khoff! Khoff!" I coughed vigorously to get the glass shards out my system.

30 seconds after I drank the potion, I was back to my former self.

Alas, my clothes weren't, so my arms were exposed to the sun shining down upon me.

Good grief, I should have applied some sunscreen before coming here. I'm going to get sunburned at this rate.

I picked up my bag and walked to a big tree. Its shade provided me respite from the asshole sun above.

Anyway, what should I do now?

Given her state she had walked away, I don't think that overreacting baby is going to return anytime soon. She'll do it after she has calmed down.

There's the possibility that she just left me for dead.

That would be a yikes from me.

Well, whatever, it's not like this is the first time someone who was supposed to take care of me left me in a forest to die.

Looks like my luck with families is not that great in this life.

Anyway, I don't wanna go back so soon, so let's try creating a new World Record in the dungeon. I'll give myself 5 chances to get the sub 3-minute mark.

If I succeed, I'll treat myself to a good meal in the best restaurant in the city.

And if I fail, well, I'll still treat myself to the same meal because it's important to take care of yourself.

Let's go, we have a-

⟦⟦Was it on purpose?⟧⟧

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

[Why are you back?]

I was having such a great time without you.

Shit.

⟦⟦I never left, and I'm speaking because I was too curious not to.⟧⟧

[Wow.]

⟦⟦And I'll leave as soon as you give me an answer.⟧⟧

[Seriously?]