How to Raise Your Regressor

"I mean, look at it from my perspective. During the epic Dragon Chase scene, I heroically saved your life at the cost of my own arms, and you showed worry for me. But then I made a little joke-"

"A little?"

"Then I pulled off a non-little prank on you which you take way too seriously and beat me up like I was an unloved 7th step child, even though I was crippled and thus unable to defend myself without hurting you."

"…" She averted her gaze.

"After that, you left me, a guy who was too injured to defend himself against any danger, to fend for himself in a forest full of monsters."

"I… needed some time to think for myself. And I cast a barrier around that place to keep the monsters away. I had also healed you to the point that you wouldn't have died."

Oh, making excuses, are we?

Except that she's telling the truth.

But then again, I'm the accuser right now, so let's ignore those facts like a deer ignores a car coming at it at a speed of 100 km/h.

"And when I somehow make my way back to the guild and contemplate taking a rest, you barge into my room to try to apologise."

"Of course, I would apologise for doing something wrong!" She exclaimed.

"Then when told that apologising is meaningless, you suddenly flip at me, start playing a blame game and concocting conspiracy theories about how my joke was more than just a joke and that I had really gone through the things I mentioned but brushed them off them because I didn't want you to get too close to me. Tell me, Neia, does that make any sense to you?"

"…" She pursed her lips.

"Please be honest; are you alright? Do you need someone to talk to? I may not look like it but I am an excellent therapist. I'll even give you an 80% discount because you are a fellow guild member."

About time I made my debut as a psychologist.

I doubt she could get a better deal than mine, so she should agree to my proposal.

"How much would that cost, by the way?" She asked.

Hmm…

"20 gold coins an hour."

"Before discount or…"

"After discount."

"You're basically ripping me off!" Neia exclaimed.

"Considering my services, I believe it's a very reasonable price."

"Reasonable my ass. If I book a session every day, the yearly cost comes out at 7300 gold coins. That's way more than my salary."

"We also provide sessions on credit."

"No thanks."

"A shame."

Who am I supposed to rip off now I mean how am I supposed to kickstart my career as a therapist?

Sed.

"…"  Neia silently stared at me for some moments.

What's with the members of this Guild silently looking at others? Is this a new fad or what?

"…" I also silently stared back at her.

It's important to keep up with new fads.

Samur Modern Eckart at your service.

"So, you're not going to tell me anything." She sighed.

"I'm not sure what you want me to say."

Should I tell her that the reason dogs like squeaky toys is that they sound like the squeals of a dying animal?

"The truth, obviously."

"The TRUE truth, or the truth that you've so conveniently made up for yourself because you are too lazy to look at things from a different angle?"

"I've looked at things from every angle possible."

Is she living in a 2-dimensional space or what?

"Yet here you are."

"Maybe the truth I've arrived at is the only truth."

"Maybe your truth is lying to you."

Huh, this discussion is becoming more philosophic by the moment. Let's just move on.

"Then what is the true truth?"

"The assumptions through which you arrived at your conclusion are completely baseless. There are no hidden layers beneath the events of today."

"Is that so?"

"Of course, but I'm sure you are not going to believe me."

"You know me too well, don't you?"

"Reading people is my speciality."

"So, it would seem." She scoffed.

Looks like she's not going to let go of this matter anytime soon. She just might become more annoying than Noelle.

Who would have thought that trying to manipulate my own comrade would come with consequences?

"Anyway, let's move on to more productive things." I suggested.

This tomfoolery has gone on for long enough.

"Such as?"

"Such as taking your blood to further my research."

"And you believe I would give my blood to you?"

"Well, you did promise to help me in case I needed it."

"Well, after the horrible prank you pulled on me today, I'm in a state of reconsidering my promise."

Wow, what an asshole.

"Well, how about partaking in a trade?"

"What type of exchange?" Neia's eyes narrowed ever so slightly.

"Well, wouldn't you like to know how I regrew my arms, healer boi?"

"…" She (for the nth time today) scowled at me.

"I'm sure you're very interested. After all, healing magic was supposed to be your speciality, yet here I am."

"…" Her scowl sharpened.

"Ah, don't worry. I didn't use any healing magic."

"I wasn't worried about that." She rolled her eyes. "But you didn't use healing magic, you say."

"Precisely."

"Was it a potion, then?"

"Bravo." I clapped.

"Really? You regrew your arms using a damn potion?" She furrowed her brows.

"Precisely."

"…!!" Her frown deepened for some moments, then her eyes suddenly widened. "Did you… did you make an Elixir?"

I simply smiled in return.

"Wait, wait, wait, did you seriously make an Elixir? A fucking Elixir?!" She exclaimed.

"Language, Neia."

Was she never taught that she shouldn't curse in front of children?

"You are the last person who gets to lecture me about language!"

"Wow."

This woman is rude as hell.

"Just tell me!" She once again grabbed my shoulders. "Did you really develop an Elixir?"

"You tell me." I smiled. "Is there any other potion which could regrow arms?"

"Of my fucking God…"

"You are welcome to kneel before me."

Samur Potion Expert Eckart at your service.