How to Raise Your Regressor

"You are welcome to kneel before me," I joked.

After all, the last time I joked, it sure turned out well for me.

"I think I really just might do that," Neia continued staring at me with widened eyes.

Well, that sure was unexpected. I guess developing a homemade elixir is a bigger deal than I thought.

I mean, sure the elixir is a legendary potion mostly spoken of in myths which can literally heal any mortal healing wound sustained in a level 3 System and below, but chill, it's just a damn potion.

Anyone can make it at home.

As long as they have the required knowledge and materials, that is, which they usually don't.

"Nah, just kidding. Making the Dragon Princess kneel before me would be a bit boorish of me."

Not to mention that usually, royalty kneels only before a God, and I refuse to lower myself to that position.

"I-I still can't believe it. Did you really succeed in making the legendary Elixir? The one that can heal any wound, cure any disease and purge any curse?"

"Yup, that one," I nodded.

Unless this world has a different Elixir.

"…Hold on, I need some time to process this," she clutched her forehead.

I would seem my strategy to divert her mind from our previous discussion worked wonders.

"Sure. Just relax and make yourself home. I'll take a bath in the meantime."

By which I mean just find a corner to sit quietly in, then go away after some time.

"H-how can you be so relaxed about this?"

"I just am," I said while taking out a towel and a new pair of trousers and shirt.

God, I love these clothes.

While Neia was having a discount identity crisis, I entered the bathroom.

It was slightly cold today so I also turned the hot water knob along the cold one to have a nice, lukewarm shower.

Today was a good day so I wanted to sing, but had to refrain because I had an unwanted guest inside my room.

I guess this is how a couple feels when the condom breaks and they get an unwanted pregnancy.

Wait, how do the people of this world even handle them?

Do they have proper facilities with trained medical professionals who help in aborting that child, or do the mothers just chant 'Foetus yeetus'?

Gotta look into it sometime later.

After some time, I finished my shower came out, only to find Neia still silently sitting on my bed.

"Still haven't processed it?"

Oh gosh, don't tell me this woman is going to make a big deal out of it again.

"Oh, and hello Mr. Cat."

"Meow."

"Don't you have a home to go back to?"

"Meow?" The cat sitting beside Neia (who, by the way, looked exactly like those philosophers of the past who just sat on a rock and wondered 'to be or not to be') tilted its head.

"I hope you have the money to pay your rent."

"…"

"What, you really thought I'd let you just freeload off me? Grow up, cat. We live in a society."

"Are you really asking a cat to pay rent to live with you?" Neia abandoned her brooding mode and asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Huh, you are right. I can't do that."

"Exactly-"

"I'll ask the owner for the rent."

"…Why do I even care…" Neia sighed.

"Do you know where the so-called witch lives?"

Mr. Cat is her familiar, so she should handle it herself. If she wants me to care for it, then she gotta pay up.

I'm not running a fucking charity here.

"Noelle should know about it."

Wow, I wasn't aware that our Dragon was useless.

"Aight, I'll go and ask her then."

"Would you please leave the cat alone? Don't we have a more important topic to discuss?"

"Oh, right, you are still having your existential crisis."

She's acting like this is the first time a literal 12-year-old child has achieved something far beyond what he should be capable of.

In case you weren't aware, we call such children geniuses, Neia.

I sometimes worry about this woman's narrow worldview.

"What else am I supposed to have?" She scoffed.

"Just handle it like a mature adult."

Ez.

Though I guess that's a bit too much to ask of her, considering her recent actions.

"This is how a mature adult would act!" She exclaimed. "Do you have any idea of the weight of what you have accomplished?"

"Enlighten me."

"You have found a way to create an Elixir, something which can bring people back from a near death state."

"Uh-huh."

"If you can find a way to mass produce them, you'll turn the current war on its head. All of us will turn into undying soldiers; we will no longer need to worry about how many men we will lose while planning dungeon expeditions because we will have elixirs to save our lives. Your discovery has the potential to finally give us the hope we so desire."

"Well, unfortunately for you, it's currently impossible to mass produce the Elixirs."

Their extremely overpowered abilities is the reason Elixirs are so hard to produce. A way to mass-produce them would literally break the System.

In fact, Elixirs are so broken that making them on a global scale will raise this world's chances of surviving this Great Filter by as much as 10%.

10% may not seem like much but one has to remember that the previous probability was 0.000001%, which means that Elixirs alone could increase the chances of survival by 10,000,000 times.

So yea, against all odds, I guess Neia is actually not behaving like an overreacting baby.

Huh, did she experience character development in a mere half an hour? What is this, a good fantasy novel?

"Oh…" Neia let out a disappointed sigh. "But they're still going to be incredibly useful. As long as you can manufacture enough of them to give one to every key person, it will still help out a lot."

"I see."

"Just think of it. Let's say on our next 4-star expedition, something goes wrong and our life is endangered."

"That sounds oddly realistic."

And given their luck so far, I'd say the chances of something like this happening are more than I'd like to admit.

"Right? So let's say that to get all of us out of that dungeon alive, Azell puts his own life at risk. He succeeds but ultimately loses his life. Do you know how badly that would affect this country?"

"I haven't had the pleasure to know that yet."

"Azell is the backbone of the reforms the Guilds are going through. If he's gone, the bridge between the Royal Family and the Guilds would break. They will go back to keeping each other in check, which will reduce the number of resources we have to invest in the war. We will lose all the progress we have made so far."

"I understand."

I guess Azell is more of a big deal than I thought.

Oh right, the man's a motherfucking Regressor. I almost forgot about that.

Fuck.

"There are many other key figures like that who help run the system. Your invention would help save their lives, and consequently the lives on many others."

"Nice."

Fuck, looks like just this one time, I cannot blame Neia for overreacting.

What has my life come to.

F.