I am Vardy

As a professional player, especially playing for a giant like Manchester United, who is not a talented person, even if he is not a super genius, his basic skills are absolutely solid.

Who would have thought that Vardy would be able to bounce the ball onto his face, making himself bored?

This is simply the biggest joke in the world!

Combining the snot-nosed and tearful Vardy with the image of Vardy who killed the Quartet on the court at the moment, it feels so weird!

Well, this is another funny passive daily life...

The teammates laughed as exaggeratedly as possible, spraying water, kneeling on the ground, and even rolling all over the floor.

Vardy made a confused expression, but his heart was not much better!

Are you laughing so exaggeratedly?

I did sacrifice myself just to make you laugh, but looking at you now, doesn't it look like you're depressed?

Mad, I seem to be too funny!

Touching his sore nose, Vardy wanted to cry but had no tears.

Of course, judging from the effect, the effect was immediate. The training ground, which was still lifeless just now, instantly changed its style of painting. Everyone had a smile on their faces, and even had cramp...

Sensing the change in the atmosphere, Ferguson and Queiroz looked at each other and shook their heads helplessly.

Well, it seems that Vardy's teasing is still useful in some occasions. With him, there is no need to worry about the team not being able to laugh.

It's amazing!

Now that it has already started, let's continue to the end. There must be no reason to give up halfway, and Vardy is really going all out.

After training, a reporter from Manchester United's official TV interviewed several players on the sidelines of the training ground.

"Losing a game is not the end of the world, nor does it mean that Manchester United have no chance of winning the championship. All we need to do is play every game well and wait for Chelsea to make mistakes!"

Rooney accepted the interview with a rare seriousness, and his declaration was swearing.

But at this moment, behind Rooney, Vardy slowly approached from far to near, pretending to walk by, but suddenly pulled back, stretched his head in front of the camera, and showed an eye-catching smile .

Immediately, the cameraman and reporter burst out laughing, and Rooney seemed to beep a dog.

Nima, it's rare for me to speak seriously for a while, but you actually came over to steal the scene, you shameless one!

As a result, the sequel to the battle royale was staged on the training ground, which was almost becoming a happy daily life at the Carrington base.

The depressing atmosphere is gone, and Manchester United has unknowingly restored the former relaxed atmosphere.

No one could have imagined that Vardy did it on purpose, and no one knew his credit, only the system could understand it!

How lonely invincibility is, probably this is the feeling!

 …

In the next round of the league, Manchester United will play away against Portsmouth. Vardy, who ended the suspension, returned to the starting list.

Vardy, who had held back a game, was fully fired. Only five minutes into the game, he cut in from the left and shot through the opponent's gate, helping Manchester United take the lead in an unreasonable way.

The Manchester United fans were about to cry. They also faced intensive defense. In the last 90 minutes of Manchester United's siege, they failed to score a single goal;

I thought this game would be equally difficult, but before they were ready, Vardy told them with the opening goal what it means to be relaxed and happy!

Ignoring the crying expression of the opponent's player, Vardy sprinted in agitated mood, stretched his arms, dive-bombed, and glided across the lawn with his chest attached.

Klinsmann Gliding!

This celebration was first made by the golden bomber Klinsmann on the green field, hence the name Klinsmann gliding.

However, this action is very dangerous. If you are a little careless, if you do not take protective measures, your neck may be scratched, your ribs may be broken, and so on.

In the previous life, there was an English low-level league player who glided to celebrate after scoring a lore goal.

Almost died in the end...

When he recovers from his injuries, he can only retire sadly. Fortunately, his real identity is a cook, so he won't starve to death!

Vardy naturally doesn't need to worry about this issue. This action can completely release his passion, and he will not miss it.

Of course, sliding and kneeling is actually very passionate, but with Drogba in front of him, Vardy feels that it is impossible for him to leave three marks after sliding and kneeling. There is no harm without comparison, and Vardy thinks it’s better to forget it Bar!

Gliding on the grass is so good, and Vardy loves it.

The only mistake was that when I was gliding, I accidentally gnawed a handful of grass...

So embarrassing!

When he stood up, Vardy spat out grass blades from his mouth.

It turns out that grass smells like this, how could rabbits like it?

Seeing this scene, the fans in front of the TV couldn't help but spit.

"Valdy has reached the point where he can't choose what to eat, maybe the turf is hungry, at least he can survive this game!"

"I think Vardy must want to learn Popeye, but there is no spinach now, so just use turf on top!"

"Rabbit: Please, please don't compete with me for food!"

"I'm already poor enough to eat dirt, but after seeing this game, I think it's okay to eat grass in the future, at least there are some vitamins!"

 …

The teammates helped Vardy up, but they all laughed themselves down.

Vardy's expression is unlovable, obviously trying to pretend, but why does the pretend always fail!

Just now, my tongue turned green. Is this artificial coloring?

After the game restarted, it took a long time to return to the normal game. The main reason is that Vardy can always make people funny inadvertently. It is too difficult to get serious.

After taking the lead, the game was controlled by Manchester United, and Portsmouth should not think about causing too much waves.

But at this time, Vardy always felt that his mouth was uncomfortable, numb, and swollen. Could it be that he poked it just now?

Getting more and more uncomfortable, Vardy naturally couldn't concentrate all his attention on the game, and passively started paddling.

No, it's too itchy, I can't bear it!

At the fierce moment of the game, in the surprised eyes of everyone, Vardy suddenly ran to the sidelines.

Everyone doesn't know what happened, is Vardy in a hurry to pee again?

Everyone is looking forward to it. Every time Vardy is in a hurry, he must end up doing something, but he doesn't know what new tricks he can play this time.

"We saw Vardy suddenly ran to the sidelines, and we still don't know what he wants to do. Did he prepare some big moves on the sidelines?"

"No, he ran to the team doctor. He was seeking help from the team doctor. Could it be that he was injured?"

"It doesn't look like it, let's cut the camera!"

"Oh my God, Vardy's lips are actually swollen, as if two thick and big sausages are hanging from his mouth, matching with Vardy's embarrassing expression, it's so interesting!"

"Why did the lips swell for no reason? Perhaps the intense game between lovers may have caused this effect, but now in the game, who swollen Vardy's lips?"

 …

While explaining, the narrator showed an expression of disbelief, as if he had seen something incredible.

Indeed, this is really incredible.

Okay, how could the lips be swollen like a sausage?

At this time, Vardy was very embarrassed on the sidelines, his lips were swollen to the sky, if there were wild dogs on the sidelines, they would definitely come and take them away...

Looking in the mirror, Vardy thought of that classic image of Tony Leung, and he was definitely poisoned!

Portsmouth is so damn damn, poisoning Lawn Hill!

Just now when I was about to lick the grass, the toxin entered my mouth, and that's why I made myself like this.

That's not right, how do they know that they can glide close to the ground?

This is unreasonable!

Vardy thought for a long time, but couldn't figure it out, so he had to accept the team doctor's examination obediently.

"If you read correctly, you are allergic to turf!"

The team doctor fiddled with it for a long time, almost making Vardy blow his mouth in the future, and finally came to a conclusion.

Allergic to turf?

Excuse me, did you come back from studying abroad on Mars?

I've never heard of turf allergy on earth!

Ferguson was also dumbfounded. What kind of strange disease is this?

What should we do now?

Looking at Valdina's lips, which have been out of the human category, Ferguson couldn't help but laugh!

Vardy has black lines on his face. As an old man, can we be more serious about the game here?

"Doctor, I won't die, will I?"

Vardy suddenly realized the seriousness of the matter. Assuming the allergy is true, it is not a trivial matter!

Those with mild allergic reactions are not a big problem, but those with severe allergies will die as soon as they die. It is not without such precedents.

The team doctor rolled his eyes, "I shouldn't be able to die, but I must go to the hospital for treatment now, I can't do it here!"

So, amidst everyone's laughter, the ambulance came in, screaming and sending Vardy with sexy lips to the hospital.

I have seen people who were directly admitted to the hospital due to injuries on the field, and I have also seen people who were admitted to the hospital due to sudden illnesses, but I have never seen people who were admitted to the hospital due to allergies. Vardy once again made history, a history that makes people laugh and cry.

Ignoring the game, Vardy was put on a bottle immediately after entering the hospital, and was lying alone in the ward, very pitiful.

It's a really bad feeling when you can see your own lips without pouting.

Vardy just wanted to know how many spicy crayfish to eat to make his lips so spicy!

The more I think about it, the angrier I get, this thing is never over!

Why have I never had turf allergies in other stadiums? Portsmouth must have been poisoned!

These bastards!

I must appeal. If the FA doesn't care, I will directly ask the lawyer to sue, and I must make a mess of them!

The more I think about it, the more I feel wronged, and Vardy feels that he is really hopeless.

Although I have the funny comparison system, why do I feel that I don't take the initiative to make funny comparisons, but funny comparisons come to me?

Also let people live!