If I don't have money to go to college, I can only go to slay the dragon.

After I got married to Xian Man, my life didn't seem to have any special changes, except that the two-point one-stop journey from the library to the sweet-scented osmanthus tree became the three-point one-stop journey from the library to my home and then to the sweet-scented osmanthus tree.

When you have a wife, you naturally need a wedding house. We still live in the big yard. We haven’t moved far, but we have our own house. Once we enter the yard, it’s not big, but even though it’s small, it has all the internal organs. I planted an osmanthus tree according to my preference, and placed stone tables and chairs under the tree for people to rest.

Because Qian Man is from the Zhao family, and most of the children of the Zhao family will work in the Seven Stars when they reach adulthood, and Qian Man is a good girl with both political integrity and talent, she naturally succeeded in joining the "Yao Bai Gu" position in the "Seven Stars" , I used to call that place the Alchemy Division. Although it is called that, there are no elixirs produced there, but there are a lot of strange medicinal prescriptions. They are all secretly passed down by the Zhao family and are only circulated internally and never outside. Good stuff to vent.

Thanks to the help of Yan Man, her knowledge and connections after serving in the Danding Division greatly helped me study the topic at hand, which is also my only topic as a doctor. After researching for so long, I have been trying to improve and prepare a prescription that can help Li Muchue.

Yes, I didn’t stop going to the courtyard to look for Li Muyue just because I got married.

She is my patient, and I have promised Haikou before to save her, so I will be responsible to the end. Yan Man also knew that I had such a patient, and she was doing her best to help me. I was very grateful to her for this. She only said that she would support me in whatever I wanted to do, because that is what a good wife should do. Yes, I was very touched.

During the period after the marriage, Li Muyue was still waiting for my visit under the sweet-scented osmanthus tree. We drank Longjing tea, ate Daohua Village snacks and chatted as before.

The only difference is that the content of our chat has changed a bit compared to before. After we met, we spent most of the time talking about Li Muyue's condition. I spoke very seriously, took a bunch of medical books as reference, and took a bunch of Using the case as a reference, I analyzed the possible direction of her condition bit by bit, and the treatment methods I planned to provide for her.

Unlike before, when she couldn't say a few words about her condition, she would habitually make jokes and divert the topic. After that, she was very quiet and listened. When I spoke seriously, she listened carefully. I asked her to take whatever medicine I prescribed. She quit smoking and drinking, and I never smelled cigarette smoke or alcohol on her after that.

Other than that, we have nothing to talk about.

If it were in the past, we would always talk about everything, and then we couldn't help but talk about gossip again. After I got married, I don’t know if it was because my marriage made my world smaller, or because I thought gossiping with other women was not that appropriate for a married man. There was no diversion and no gossip between us. Suddenly there was nothing else to talk about.

Often, I would come to her door to tell her about the progress of my research on the disease.

She said, OK, I'll wait for your good news.

Then there was silence.

During this period, I might have wanted to say something to break the silence, but I realized that the words I spoke after a long silence might not have been spoken in the first place, so I gave up.

After drinking a pot of Longjing tea and finishing the snacks on the table, which was endless, she asked me to pack it up and take it back, saying that I was already married and should not be like a child who only cares about myself. I just took it with a smile. Leave.

Oh, there is one exception.

That time, after we finished talking about the illness, it was time for silence again. After a long silence, she suddenly asked me, "You and Yan Man have been married for so long, aren't you planning to have a child?"

I don't know why she asked me this question. My answer was, "I haven't thought about having children. Is it still too early for me? It's too early for her."

When I left that day, I felt that she was watching me leave from a distance under the sweet-scented osmanthus tree, until my figure disappeared among the weeds and trees in the inner courtyard.

In fact, everything should end like this, without any disturbances in the ancient well. There was no talk of robbing the bride or hijacking the wedding sedan, and there were no jokes about causing trouble in the bridal chamber or kidnapping the groom.

Everything is over like this, which seems to be a good ending. Library, home, under the sweet-scented osmanthus tree, a three-point and one-line life, until I get old, or she gets old.

Until one day, my uncle walked into the library and saw me dozing on the imperial chair that originally belonged to him, and woke me up. After I woke up, during the usual greetings and greetings, he looked at me, smiled helplessly and admonished me, saying that I am such an old man, why do I still look drunk all day long, so don't drink too much.

I explained that I just didn't have enough sleep and had stayed up all night to check medical books. I also wanted to ask my uncle some medical questions, but my uncle waved his hand and said it was not the time and asked me to go home quickly.

I subconsciously asked what was wrong with Xian Man, but my uncle slowly said that it was not Xian Man, but your brother Li Mu. He had an accident during a mission near Lang Juxu, and his condition is not good now.

Before my uncle could finish speaking, the Taishi chair had fallen to the ground. I rushed out of the library and ran back to the courtyard where I grew up.

My uncle didn't lie to me. Something really happened to my brother. When I went back, the house was full of people. Except for my parents and other close relatives, there was no sign of anyone even during the Xunri day at home. They were only on the big day for ancestor worship. All the Taizu elders who showed up were present. Some of them were praying in the ancestral hall, and some were whispering around a few familiar elders of the Zhao family.

I asked my dad how my brother was doing now. My dad had no expression on his face and just said he was not very optimistic. I didn’t understand why my dad had that expression. At that time, I just wanted to see my brother and make sure he was suffering. He was injured to some extent, but before he even walked in, he heard violent sounds of things being smashed in the inner room and my brother yelling at the visitors to get out.

My mother's eyes were red and she said that my brother was very grumpy now and didn't want to see anyone. I said that my brother was not such a person, and that he had always been very rational. My mother explained that he was injured so badly during the mission that he became seriously disabled, so now his personality has suddenly changed, and no one recognizes him. Now the only hope is placed on me. He has loved me since childhood and hopes that I can go in and have a good talk with him and tell him that there is still hope in life.

I thought it was ridiculous for a moment. The situation now is so bad that I need to comfort my brother. Is there still hope in life? I was a little numb at the time and forgot how I walked into my brother's room. But when I came back to my senses, I was already standing there, and there was only my brother and me on the bed in the room.

It’s exactly what my mother said. My brother was seriously injured. He lost an arm and his legs were completely hung up. There were Whether he can walk normally is also a question. In addition, the injuries to the ribs and internal organs were large and small, and the medical records could not be laid out completely. If it were not for the fact that he was a mixed race, he would have died.

When I saw that scene, my mind went blank and I even forgot to breathe.

When I was a child, I was the king of children, the person who loved me the most and the brother I respected the most. With his appearance now, I don’t know whether I should cry immediately or angrily ask my brother who did all this. I just stood there. There, looking at my brother blankly, like a stupid donkey.

The person who woke me up was none other than my brother. His first words were not an angry curse or a curse word, but a rather calm call. He said, "Xingchu, come here."

I walked over mechanically and sat down on the chair next to him, ignoring the water marks on it from the overturned vase.

My brother looked at me sideways and said, "Don't look like the sky is falling, I'm not dead yet."

I came to my senses and asked him what was going on.

"It is your own fault." My brother said, "It is also a matter of seeking kindness and receiving kindness."

I didn’t understand. After he was silent for a moment, he told me that these injuries were the result of his insisting on getting stuck alone in a pile of deadpools in the last mission, regardless of the obstruction of his superiors and teammates. It was entirely his fault. It's your own fault and you can't blame anyone else.

I asked him why he did this, are you crazy?

He said he was not crazy, but that he knew he had to do it.

Then he told me a big secret.

"If I don't do this, the next 'Yue' will be me soon."

I admit that my brain was short-circuited for a while and I couldn't understand the meaning of this sentence at all, and my brother also whispered to me his motives and intentions.

He told me that as the most outstanding eldest son of the Li family, he did not have the talent to become a leader, so becoming "Yue" was naturally the most suitable candidate. Since my brother was born, he has been trained in the direction of becoming "Yue". So he has been the child king in the yard since he was a child. No one can beat him. He has always been the best among his peers, a role model and a spiritual leader. All this is for him to inherit when the time is right. The name "Moon".

I calmly analyzed it at that time, and then rejected this statement, saying it was impossible. You are 23 or 24 years old like me, and you are already an old person. People eat young people, so how could you be selected? Become the heir to "Moon"?

He smiled lightly and said, it seems that Li Muyue did tell me something, but he didn't tell me too much, which is a good thing.

"Yue" does not only live to be twenty or thirty-four years old, but as a "moon", your own heart can only bear the "holy will" for four to five years. When the time is up, the "holy will" will The load will exceed the upper limit of your own heart, and your heart will gradually fail and then die. At that time, the "Holy Will" will assimilate you and make you a vessel for its resurrection, and the clan will naturally take it away from your body.

I said blankly, what happens after the clan takes away the heart?

I asked a stupid question and my brother just looked at me quietly.

I asked again, why will the next generation of "Yue" be you?

My brother said that because he is good enough and strong enough, he is the eldest son of Li Yuande. Even if he is over twenty, once he becomes "Moon", even if he only has less than one or two years left in his life, he can bring great benefits to the clan. The huge benefits can make overseas enemies fearful and make those beasts with fangs consider the gains and losses of offending the clan.

I gradually understood that the real core of "Moon" has always been the "Holy Will", the heart of the noble ancient dragon. The "Moon" as a carrier is just a substitute. If you live for four to five years, you still have to live for one. It doesn't matter if it takes two years, or even half a year or a few months. As long as their mission is completed and the clan has a better next successor, "Yue" will be active in the foreground at any time.

One of the biggest secrets of orthodoxy was told to me by my brother. Because my brother was chosen as the next successor, he knew these secrets, so——

I stared at my brother, my throat was a little dry, "What are you doing for-"

My brother waved his right hand to tell me to stop talking. After a moment of silence, he told me that Muyue could not last much longer. The next successor had not yet been decided. He was originally supposed to be the temporary successor, but as long as he was unable to serve Mu Yue must hold on to this responsibility.

The longer you hold on, the longer you live, maybe things will turn around.

I didn't question all this, because in a series of studies on Li Muyue's body, I had gradually discovered many clues. Maybe I would be able to discover the truth on my own one day when all the lines are connected, but before that , the truth was suddenly revealed in front of me, leaving me speechless and choked with a lump in my throat.

"Remember your birthday before and I begged you to help me?" Li Mu said, "I have always seen what you have done over the years. You have done well, but it is not enough. You can do Even better, I know that you have always been smarter and more capable than me, and even your bloodline may be better than mine, but you have been hiding your clumsiness. I know I am very selfish, but I want to ask you for one thing, Xing Chu, save Li Muyue, you are the only one in the orthodoxy who can save her. She won't live long, the 'holy will' is about to crush her, save her before the clan finds a suitable next successor. .I don’t want her to die.”

I stared blankly at my brother's plain face, feeling that he was a little strange. He was the child who listened to my father's words the most, and he was a good young man who was most passionate about orthodoxy, but in the end he did irreparable disasters. I once guessed my brother's feelings for Mu Yue, but I never thought that the feelings would be so deep. They may not have seen each other again for several years, but they are still so determined.

When wine and water mix, the wine will become weak and the water will deteriorate. Some people will become weaker when they meet another person, just like wine mixed with water.

I somewhat understood what my uncle said to me at that time. Maybe my brother was like the glass of wine mixed with water and became weak.

and I? I remembered what my uncle said to me when he came, and I realized that maybe I had never been sober. Ever since I entered the flower-filled courtyard that day, I had been walking in circles under the sweet-scented osmanthus tree and never stepped out.

So I promised my brother that I would save Li Muchue and do my best.

After my brother got my promise, his expression gradually relaxed, and then suddenly he became furious. He picked up the vase next to him and threw it from my ear, smashing it against the door frame and wall behind him. My father came in with no expression on his face. The ground came to me and took me away with my brother's roar without saying anything.

Before I left, I looked back at the man on the hospital bed. On his ferocious face, only his eyes were filled with guilt, as if he was saying sorry to me.

He knew how rude the promise he asked me to make was, and just like what he said, he was a selfish man. But I don't have any position to scold him, because like him, I am also a selfish guy. All elder brothers and younger brothers are all the same.

I left home and walked to the courtyard. On the way, I thought about a lot of things, things about "Yue", things about Xian Man, things about me, and things about the clan.

Many things are like a mess. It just so happens that the weather is not good and it rains again. So when the mess touches the water, it soaks into an inseparable knot, one link after another. Before I get any answer, I had already reached the door of the inner courtyard.

The door was open, and the entire inner courtyard was filled with the sound of raindrops on the flowers and trees. Under the familiar osmanthus tree, Li Muyue was sitting there as usual, but this time there was no Longjing tea or snowflake cake on the stone table. She was not wearing a cheongsam or coat, but a black robe, without an umbrella, and a sheathed sword was leaning against the stone chair. She didn't welcome me, I could tell.

I walked over, but before I got closer, I heard her ask me, "Do you know that Zhao Yanman has always known about me?"

"If it's an illness, I told Qian Man that she can help you with your illness," I said.

She looked at me and smiled, "In fact, Qian Man has always known that you like me, she just didn't want to say it. I have investigated her and found that she is the same person as your brother."

"What do you mean by the same people?"

"Traditional men, traditional women. They can be wronged to do what he/she likes for the person they like, as long as they can make the person they like happy, even if they have to be wronged for a lifetime." Li Muyue said.

"You know my brother"

"Of course I know, it doesn't stop me from calling him a fool now." Li Muyue said lightly, "To love something that will never be seen a second time, to love in flames and screams, and then destroy yourself. They Living in that moment, there are not many people like this, but you and I happened to meet them all."

I am speechless.

She gently waved me over and motioned for me to sit down on the opposite side of the stone table, less than a meter away.

She looked at me, with the rain running down her cheeks, and whispered, "Listen to me, go back, go find Zian Man and have a good sleep, and then forget what your brother said to you. He is a lunatic." , the things he told you may not bring good results to anyone. My fate was doomed from the day I became 'Yue'. Your brother did do something stupid, but it is still A knowing choice may lead to a reckoning later, but in the end he can save his life because he is Li Yuande's eldest son."

"As for you and Qian Man." She said, "You can be outsiders. Yue is a mess. You can pass by and visit, but you must not try to take over. Your treatment of me is useless. Therefore, the clan leaders can tolerate the contact between you and me, but contact is allowed, but it cannot cross the line. Things that you have not really made up your mind to do are taboos that cross the line."

I wanted to refuse and looked up at her, only to find that her pupils in the rain were molten red that I had never seen before. They were crimson, majestic, but tired.

"Don't try to touch the taboo, otherwise you will die, and Xian Man who is implicated by you will also die. Even if it is not for yourself, it is also for Xian Man. Let it go, then look back, and never come back again." She said.

I looked at her for a while, nodded, then turned and walked out of the hospital.

There was the sound of raindrops in the inner courtyard. The rain hit the leaves, flower branches, and pools. The whole world was being washed away by the rain.

She watched me walk away and I counted the distance covered by my steps.

When I stepped on the threshold of the inner courtyard, I heard a voice coming from far behind me.

coward.

I stopped, looked back at the sweet-scented osmanthus tree, and asked her if she had said anything.

She repeated her words.

I was stunned for a long time, and then a nameless anger arose in my heart.

I turned around and took a few steps forward, suddenly yelling and asking her why I was the coward she called me? After so long of communication, so many meetings, I made it clear, hinted so many times, and gave countless signals, just asking for the same signal in return, but every time I felt there was hope, you avoided me. Got it! I speak mysteriously like a Riddler, why is it your turn to call me a coward! Even if the computer does not respond after waiting for so long, I would choose to shut down and restart it! I don't know what you think!

She has never been someone who doesn't retaliate when scolded, so the next moment I cursed, she scolded me back. She said that she could only live for four or five years. If she took the initiative to knock me out and take me back to the bridal chamber, four or five years would be enough. What will happen if she dies later? Make me a widow? This kind of thing should be your initiative as a man. If you have the courage to say that you want to take me away, what if I go with you? You delivered the wedding invitation to me without saying a word. Before that day, I didn’t even know that there was a person named Zhao Yanman in this world. You have two fucking boats, eat one and watch the other, and you are fucking shameless when you get married. You invited me, but in the end it was mine, right?

I yelled back, "I don't know what you think if you don't tell me!" If you reject someone as good as my brother, who am I? When I met you for the first time, I asked you what your views on mate selection were. You brought the stone table with your bare hands and told me not to think about anyone who couldn't beat you. Of course I believed it! who are you? You are the moon! You are someone else's child! You are Lin Daiyu who uproots the weeping willow tree! Who the hell am I? I am a scholar who has no power to restrain a chicken, and I am Ning Caichen who bumps into ghosts even when walking at night! My family arranged for me to get married. My father told me in front of the ancestral hall that the Li family relied on me to reproduce. What should I do? By that time, my dad already knew that my brother was the next Yue! That’s why I, the second son, was forced to get married so quickly!

She was choked by what I said. She probably didn't know the inside story about my marriage to Zhao Zianman. She was so angry that she couldn't curse me anymore. She pulled out the sword beside the stone table and slashed the sweet-scented osmanthus tree behind her with one strike. , a decades-old osmanthus tree, the kind where several people could lie on it, was picked up by her on one shoulder, and then she walked towards me.

I was stunned by that scene. Although she didn’t pull up the osmanthus tree with mud and bricks, the scene was enough to make me, who had never seen the world, stunned. I subconsciously took a step back, tripped on the threshold, and suddenly The child fell out. The last thing I saw was the roots of the osmanthus tree that penetrated the gate of the inner courtyard, and I heard the angry voice in the courtyard: "You idiot, get out of here!"

It was raining heavily, and I sat at the gate of the inner courtyard that was filled with tree roots. I was as wet as a drowned rat. There was no other sound in the courtyard. I sat in the rain for a long time, until I shivered and shivered with cold. He stood up and turned around to leave.