Incurable Pain

Before grandpa and grandma returned, Bai Xunyin quietly left the old house with Yu Luoyin.

She curled up her shoulder-length hair with a hair tie, which turned into a flower bud. The slender neck is slender and the shoulders are thin and thin.

Bai Xunyin is a typical Sichuan-Chongqing girl with a small frame and very delicate appearance.

Yu Luoyin's eyes followed her figure, and he was unconsciously being ‘carried around’ by Bai Xunyin to the foot of the mountain, and then...

"Bai Xun Yin." The boy looked at the towering back mountain in the ancient town and couldn't help laughing: "You want to climb the mountain?"

It doesn't matter if he climbs the mountain, it's just the skirt of Bai Xunyin...

"You don't need to climb to the top, there is a towering old tree halfway up the mountain, the kind that can lie down on the branches and vines to sleep." Bai Xunyin's eyes were slightly bent, and he raised his head and said, "I want to take you to see."

Upon hearing this, Yu Luoyin knelt down in front of her without saying a word: "Okay, come up, I will carry you on my back."

The clear eyes stayed on the boy's broad back for two seconds, and Bai Xunyin murmured, "Why do I want you to carry it?"

"You can't let a girl in a skirt climb the mountain." Yu Luoyin smiled, with a careless sneer in his voice, and patted his shoulder: "Come on, I can't carry you anymore?"

Gee, arrogant.

Bai Xunyin curled his lips silently, slowly leaned over and climbed up, holding the boy's neck with two white and soft lotus arms.

When Yu Luoyin carried the little **** her back, she felt that there was almost no weight on her back, and she could not help but sighed, "Eat more in the future."

Bai Xunyin is too thin.

She didn't speak, smiled, and her chin rested on Yu Luoyin's shoulder. The juvenile's right-angled shoulders are thin and slender.

The gentle breathing blew on the roots of Yu Luoyin's ears, which made him feel a little hot, but it might be because Lin Lan was originally the hottest time in July.

Bai Xunyin said that the middle of the mountain is not far from the foot of the mountain, and it took less than half an hour to arrive. During this time, the two of them were quite quiet, only her whispering to guide the way, like Yingyingyanyan.

Suddenly, Yu Luoyin selfishly hoped that the journey would be a little longer, and it would even be possible to climb the mountain. He could move her back.

Except that they were chased by Liu Yi Scar last time to the building in Jiguang District, and in the midst of the turmoil, he carried Bai Xunyin on his shoulders and climbed the stairs. This was considered their closest contact.

In the past, the shallow hugs were fleeting, and Yu Luoyin really cherished the appearance of Bai Xunyin lying on his back cleverly and softly now.

Not too hot at all, not ambiguous, just that she just snuggled herself up.

So Yu Luoyin thought for a while and couldn't help suggesting: "Why don't I carry you on my back, let's climb to the top."

"No, it's almost here." Bai Xunyin saw the tip of the tree not far away, and shook his head uncontrollably: "Besides, you're not tired? Your knees..."

As she said, thinking of the boy's knees that could not exercise vigorously soon after healed, she simply patted Yu Luoyin's shoulder and jumped off his back.

It's not a few steps away from the big tree, so just walk by yourself.

Yu Luoyin missed the temperature of Bai Xunyin for a moment, and shook his head gently to follow.

As a result, when he got to the side of the big tree, Yu Luoyin realized that he was too "little look" to find the sound.

He thought that the weak and weak girl was actually very vigorous with her hands. She would climb trees in her skirts and pull the skirt to her knees, acting like a cat in a flexible manner.

Cats are the best at climbing trees.

Yu Luoyin put his hands in his pockets and looked up at Bai Xunyin who was already sitting on the branch. The little girl's two drooping legs were white and slender, dangling, sitting on the tree like a mountain elf.

He unconsciously took out his phone and took a picture.

"What are you doing?" Bai Xunyin lowered his head to look at him, and when he saw him secretly taking pictures, a delicate touch flashed across his small and white face: "Come up."

Yu Luoyin put away the phone and climbed up obediently, and sat next to Bai Xunyin.

It is worthy of being a towering old tree. Two people sitting on a branch were still motionless, and the light from the gaps in the leaves hit the two of them.

"You will see the stars in a while." Bai Xunyin squinted his eyes: "There are many stars in the ancient town, unlike Lin Lan."

Every time she comes back, she likes to sit here and watch, and she feels that her mood opens up suddenly.

When Yu Luoyin listened, he felt that Bai Xunyin was really a wonderful person-to find such a unique environment to watch the stars.

When night falls, the two of them sit in a small corner of this big tree, and will not touch the world or touch the ground. Wouldn't it be easier to simply fall into the beauty of the starry sky?

And indeed it is.

Bai Xunyin leaned against Yu Luoyin's shoulder and took a nap. When the breeze slowly blew and opened his eyes, the sky was already dark.

"Look up." There was a clear voice from the young man next to him.

Bai Xunyin rubbed her eyes and looked up subconsciously. The stars in the sky seemed to be very close to them, as if they had to be pressed down densely. She murmured, "It's so beautiful."

"Well, it looks good." Yu Luoyin was also looking at the stars in such a place for the first time, and couldn't help but sigh: "There is no high-rise building to block the view, and I feel that the ground and the sky are connected."

At this time, I can especially understand those astronomers who are addicted to it.

"Thank you." Yu Luoyin put his coat on Bai Xunyin, and whispered, "Bring me here."

Bai Xunyin smiled and continued to look up at the sky without saying a word.

She regarded this place as the last "romance" between her and Yu Luoyin, and of course she had to choose the most perfect place to end.

In the past, she was the only one who knew about this secret base. In the future... Bai Xunyin guessed that she would not want to come over for a long time.

Yu Luoyin's name is not right, so naturally he can't stay longer in the ancient town where the neighbors and neighbors know each other. He returned to Lin Lan the next day, and finally let Bai Xunyin go back sooner because he was so coquettish.

Bai Xunyin agreed with a smile on the surface, but after Yu Luoyin returned, he was not affected by the phone call, and he stayed with grandpa and grandma for half a month in peace.

I didn't go back until the volunteers filled in and the scores came out.

It was still an age when volunteers were ‘blindly reported’ without equating scores. Bai Xunyin only wrote the ‘Northern University of Technology’ as a volunteer, and he did not leave himself a way out.

When discussing with Yu Luoyin on the phone before, she said that she would report to Lan Da.

Also coaxed Yu Luoyin to report to Lan Da.

After the score and the score line came out, Bai Xunyin knew that he had got his wish.

They are all performing at a normal level, and will undoubtedly be admitted to the corresponding university, and will undoubtedly be separated.

"The test was really good." On the day the score came out, Yu Luoyin rode a bicycle to Ajun Hutong, looking at Bai Xunyin, his eyes were excited with undisguised excitement: "We will all be admitted."

"Yeah." Bai Xunyin grinned reluctantly: "Wait for the notice."

She had thought that Yu Luoyin was the cruelest executioner before, and she knew how to break a person's illusion.

But to this day, Bai Xunyin realized that she was the executioner, and she was more professional than Yu Luoyin.

On the day the admission notice was sent, it was cloudy and raining again for Lin Lan.

Bai Xunyin was taken out to drink milk tea by Amora, and the two of them were trapped in the milk tea shop without their umbrellas. Amoso ​​ordered two more glasses, sulking sullenly.

"Yinyin, Shengwen reported that it was the school in Beicheng." Amo bit the straw, and the eye sockets turned red as soon as he said these words. After a layer of crystals rose quickly, her urn sounded annoyingly: "I The report is from the province next door, shall we never see it again?"

Graduating from high school and college, they often represent the word ‘separation’.

Many people really won't see them for a lifetime, which is not an exaggeration.

Maybe in ten or eight years, everyone will meet with classmates. After they have become mature, stable, happy and fat, Naiyu smiled and talked about their ‘youth’ that had passed away.

This is the end of most people. Youth is the young and frivolous that has been written, and the life that can be honed is the ‘reality’.

"It's okay." Bai Xunyin stared at the milk tea cup in front of him, and didn't know whether to tell it to Amo or to himself: "It's a good time to meet."

After all, they are all from the city of Lin Lan.

"Hey, I really envy you and Yu Luoyin." Amoyu, who doesn't know the inside story, said with emotion: "Being able to get along in a university day and night, I feel happy when I think about it."

Bai Xunyin paused with the straw in his hand, like a stone.

After a while, she condensed the strangeness in her eyes, and said calmly: "Amo, I did not report to Lan Da, but the Northern University of Technology."

Amo was taken aback, holding the spoon and falling into the cup in fright, making a crisp crashing sound.

"No, when did it happen? Really? Didn't you say you want to report to Lan Da! Why is it so sudden?" Amo asked in a voice, almost pale.

It is really that Bai Xunyin is hidden too concealed, and no one has said it before, they have always thought that she will report to Lan Da...

Amo's brain crashed, and he subconsciously took his mobile phone to the school's official website. After the official websites of major colleges and universities released the admission list, the third middle school would automatically accept it and make a table formula, which everyone can see at a glance.

It was precisely because of this that Bai Xunyin realized that he could not hide it.

The moment the admission notice was mailed was the moment when the secret was revealed to the world.

After Amo saw the words ‘Bai Xun Yin—Northern University of Technology’ and ‘Yu Luoyin—Lin Lan University’ clearly written in black and white, he couldn’t say anything.

"Yinyin, you, you..." She thought about her words helplessly: "Yu Luoyin knows? Did you break up?"

"He doesn't know yet." Bai Xunyin shook his head, the mobile phone on the desktop vibrated frantically in response to the scene, and the three characters'Yu Luoyin' flashed on it.

She smiled hollowly: "I'm going to break up soon."

Amo stayed where she was shocked by the huge amount of information in her words, and could only watch Bai Xunyin answer the phone innocently, hung up without saying anything, stood up and left.

The girl's back has always been thin and straight, and at this time she will never bend a little bit.

Bai Xunyin left the cafe and took the bus back home. The voice of Yu Luoyin's call just now was like ice. He just said, "I'm downstairs in your house," and hung up.

Lin Lan's rain was still quite heavy. She walked back to Ajun Hutong from the bus station, and her body was wet in a short distance. The black hair on her cheeks was wet against her pale slapped face.

At the entrance of the alley, Bai Xunyin saw Yu Luoyin standing against the wall far away. He didn't know how long he stood, his body was soaked.

Bai Xunyin closed his eyes, knowing that sooner or later there would be such a day.

She took a deep breath and walked over casually.

Yu Luoyin's eyes dropped when he saw a pair of white sneakers stopped in front of him, raised his head, his eyes soaked in rain were tingling and red, as if he had cried, especially on his fair and clear face.

But Bai Xunyin was indifferent, and Yu Luoyin clearly saw the word'indifference' in her eyes.

Suddenly falling into the abyss, he felt that he had never been so powerless.

The utterances and questions that were originally prepared disappeared in Bai Xunyin's eyes. The two people were silent for a while like sculptures in the wind and heavy rain, and Yu Luoyin asked softly: "You never forgive me, right? ?"

He is not stupid enough to think that Bai Xunyin is a ‘change of volunteer’, she should have not changed.

The sweetness and tenderness of a while ago should have been a fascinating mirage. When the time comes, it will naturally disappear.

Bai Xunyin did not deny it, but said dryly: "We are not suitable."

"It's not appropriate to go to school together, it's even more inappropriate to be together."

"You are very afraid that I will pester you, right?" Yu Luoyin's lips raised lightly, with a vivid self-deprecating under his eyes: "So even if I'sacrifice myself' to coax me, I don't want me to enroll in a university with you. ."

Bai Xunyin pursed his lips. He didn't care about Yu Luoyin's aggressiveness, and he didn't explain why he didn't mention breaking up again because of various reasons that didn't affect his mentality before the college entrance examination...

She just said coldly: "Maybe it is."

Yu Luoyin's hand hanging beside her clenched into a fist for an instant.

"Yu Luoyin, there is no denying that I thank you very much. You allowed me to speak again." Bai Xunyin flashed back his previous ‘promise’ with Gu Yuan in his mind, sighed lightly, and the words turned black and white—

"But in the final analysis, maybe I'm a very stingy and sensitive person, and I can't forget those few months that you gave me the beautiful scenery."

"We are not suitable. If we are together, I will always think of this thing."

"That way we will gradually get bored. It will be a matter of time before we separate, and I don't want to miss the university I have always wanted to go to."

"Yu Luoyin, I don't hate you, but I really can't forgive you."

Similarly, she can't forgive herself.

Life in this world may be born to face countless pains and entanglements. Bai Xunyin said word by word, seeing Yu Luoyin's gradually dimming and hollow pupils through the rain and fog, and felt that he could treat this pain as a kind of practice.

Bai Xunyin wanted a clean break, and for this reason he would rather hurt people simply and neatly than leave a little room for ambiguity.

She hoped that Yu Luoyin could forget her. This was the best ending for the two of them.

Because they are not originally from the same world, they can meet each other in high school and experience so many weird ‘memories’, which is something that can only be encountered once in a lifetime.

One cannot be too greedy.

"Bai Xunyin, you can." Yu Luoyin spoke after a long while, snorting in a dumb voice: "So you think so..."

Today, he has really seen what it means to be'cruel heart'-being able to accompany him'acting' for so long without a sensual expression, pretending to be very indifferent and happy, in fact, Bai Xunyin never let go of it for a moment.

If Bai Xunyin wanted to retaliate against herself, then she had reached her goal today.

There is no better revenge than when he saw the admission list posted on the official website of Sanzhong. A simple word can make people fall into heaven and hell.

Yu Luoyin has always been a happy, angry, indecent boy, he has a deep heart at a young age, and there is never any excess clarity on his face.

There has never been a moment when the ‘pain’ on his face is so obvious-in fact, the facial expression is not big, only frowning, but the expression in his eyes is clearly broken and self-deprecating.

The three words ‘I’m sorry’ linger on the tip of the tongue, but Bai Xunyin didn’t say it in the end.

She just said: "There will be no deadline."

The young man has the fragmented pride that he maintains. Even if his waist was bent too low, he couldn't be a dog over and over again, truly giving up the word dignity.

Yu Luoyin's eyes restored the indifference they had when they first met, as if looking at a stranger.

Bai Xunyin knew that this time they were really ‘breaking two cuts.’

This was also in her expectation. In her imagination, this should have been the last time she and Yu Luoyin met.

Although they were looking at the sky full of stars on the trees in the ancient town not long ago, Bai Xunyin had really hoped that time would stay at that moment, but it was a pity that the earth did not revolve around her.

After knowing each other for more than a year, their little deer ran into each other randomly, tried each other, broke up and had sweetness, and they had all kinds of emotions, six desires and five flavors.

Bai Xunyin still felt a little reluctant.

She was drenched in the rain and walked home from the entrance of the alley. It was obviously a sultry day, but she felt clammy, and her bare skin had a bright goose bump.

But Bai Xunyin didn't look back, she didn't even look at Yu Luoyin again to see if he was still standing there.

Returning home numbly, Bai Xunyin took off his wet clothes step by step, took a shower, and finally dried his hair before slipping into the loose and warm bed.

She has never been in bed at this time in the afternoon, but now she is too tired.

The ‘break’ with Yu Luoyin just now was like experiencing a pretentiously calm cramp, and in the end even the soul was emptied.

Bai Xunyin was lying on the bed, feeling her tired limbs and weakness - she thought she could go to sleep at once, but in fact she lay down from afternoon to night, and then opened her eyes until dawn.

During the period, even when Ji Huiying knocked on the door to tell her to eat out, Bai Xunyin refused with silence.

She was born in September, a sultry day in the midsummer. Before the upcoming 18th year, Bai Xunyin wanted to be the last one.

Before going to school in early September, Bai Xunyin didn't go out for half a month, but stayed at home honestly, and refused all invitations, even Amo's.

She left the class group early, deleted all the WeChat accounts of her friends in the third middle school except Amo, and deliberately avoided all news about Yu Luoyin.

This summer, she was first in the ancient town, and then in her cramped and cramped bedroom, doing real ‘practice’.

After self-willedness is over, it is a new life.

During the period, Amo had been to their home twice, and when he saw Bai Xunyin, he watched her carefully, holding his breath, and he didn't dare to breathe.

On the contrary, Bai Xunyin looked at her with a smile if nothing had happened, "What are you doing, I'm fine."

She is really fine, she should eat and drink these days, but she has occasional dull pain in her heart.

But it's fleeting and doesn't get in the way.

Amo looked at the appearance of Bai Xunyin's slender figure and wasted a circle. He sighed silently, and intimately did not mention anything related to the three words "Yu Luoyin".

"Yinyin, we are going to separate." Amo was just more sad about the "separation" itself, his eyes were red, but his tears broke into a smile: "I think we haven't gone to college yet, and I'm starting to miss it every day. Time for you."

Perhaps the traces of growth are heart-wrenching.

Bai Xunyin was silent for a moment, and shook his head: "The separation is temporary."

All separations are for getting together for the better.

Bai Xunyin felt that after graduating from junior high school, when Bai Hongsheng had an accident, her life had been facing separation, and she was about to adapt to these two words.

But it wasn't until the night before leaving home, when Bai Xunyin was packing up his luggage, that his strong support was fragmented.

In the bottom drawer of her closet, there is a school uniform from the Third Middle School-very clean, it is a boys uniform, and a thin diary is pressed on the folded slab uniform.

Both of these things are related to Yu Luoyin. One is the school uniform that Yu Luoyin put on her when he took her home. Bai Xunyin was not willing to pay it back, but he simply forgot to pay it back.

The contents of the diary were all ambiguous for a long time, and she couldn't help writing his name.

Word by word, stroke by stroke, sometimes it seems as if the diary is almost punctured by the tip of the pen-but in fact, there is nothing but Yu Luoyin's name.

These two things were not willing to lose when Bai Xunyin was the most painful. Instead, they were hidden in the deepest place. Now they were turned out unexpectedly, like a nail that came into view.

As if the ‘pain sensation’ had been resuscitated for a long time, Bai Xunyin felt that her heart was pricked by an invisible needle for a moment. She squatted down unconsciously in pain, clutching the school uniform with her slender fingers.

She can clearly feel that her limbs, and even every cell, are spreading an indescribable ‘pain’.

Subtle and pervasive.

This probably stems from the fact that Bai Xunyin didn't realize what he had lost until this moment.

When she graduated from junior high school three years ago, she lost her voice and her father.

And today after graduating from high school, she realized that she might have lost a person she liked very much, as well as the ability to love. Which is better to calculate, I really can’t tell.

The girl's pale face was numb, and her tears fell after she realized that she didn't even notice it, but it smeared the "Yu Luoyin" in the diary-the black ink was blurred into a single piece, and she looked embarrassed.

Don't cry, this is your own path.

Bai Xunyin sniffed, reached out to wipe the notebook clean, then stood up and continued to pack things. If she would feel sorry for herself, then she wouldn't have to live.

After packing the luggage to the end, Bai Xunyin thought for a while, and packed the school uniform and diary together in the suitcase.

Quan regards her as the "bottom of the box" and brings her into her new fleeting year together. There are still traces of Yu Luoyin.

*My heart is a bird of the wilderness, and I found its sky in your eyes.

-Tagore.