Muted

An operating table was placed in the middle of the dimly lit room. I was lying on it, and two people wearing masks cut my belly with a knife in their hands. The feeling was clear: the cold texture of the scalpel against the skin, and the dull pain when the meat was cut open. My head started to sweat, because of the pain, the body trembled violently, but the two people didn't pay attention to me, they just focused on the movements in their hands, and there was no emotion in the cold eyes. Finally one of them reached out and took a bright red kidney from my stomach.

...

I sat up sharply, panting heavily.

It turned out to be a dream.

I reached out my hand and realized that there was sweat on my forehead. I tried to calm my breath and kept comforting myself just dreaming.

There was no sound in the ward. I turned my head and my mother fell asleep with her eyes closed. Gently got up and walked to the window, it was late at night, and there was no starlight in the dark sky. The pictures in the dream kept flashing in my mind, I closed my eyes and tried to suppress the fear in my heart.

It turns out I'm just a coward.

Li Yi came early the next morning. When I went to work in the supermarket these days, Li Yi was helping to take care of my mother. I've already thought about it, and after talking about selling kidneys, I will quit my job in the supermarket. To be honest, I'm not too clear about how much damage I will lose if I lose a kidney body, but I want to come and do the kind of physical work in the supermarket after the operation.

After thanking Li Yan, he hurried to the supermarket. After a few stops on the bus, I found that my cell phone was left in the ward. Worried that if something happened, Li Yan could not find me, I hurried out of the car and ran to the hospital. When I arrived at the hospital, I just opened the ward door and found that Li Yan was holding my mobile phone in his hand and the expression on his face was uneasy.

"Lee, what's wrong?" I hurriedly looked at my mother. She was still asleep and there were no doctors around. It didn't look like something had happened.

"Xiao Mu, what's going on?" Li Min hesitated to hand me the phone, and the expression on his face was very worried.

I took the phone, but I looked at it, but I was stunned. It was a text message just received. [Please send the medical examination report to this email xuyi.com before tomorrow. If there is no problem, we will arrange the surgery next week. 】

"Your phone just rang. Li Ye didn't understand this, and he was worried that someone might find something for you. He picked it up and wanted to connect, and pressed it a few times, and he came out." Li Ye said again without seeing me.

"It's okay, maybe it's wrong, I don't even know the number." I put my cell phone in my pocket, pretending to be easy.

Li Yan frowned for a moment, blocking in front of me, "Xiao Mu, although Li Yan is a country woman with no culture, but don't make Li Yan a fool."

"Do n’t think about it, Li Yan. I really don't know this person. I should be late for work, I'm leaving now." Then I panicked and thought about the ward.

Li Min held me, and his voice grew louder. "Why did you have an examination report for what surgery, Xiao Mu, what are you hiding from us!"

I desperately covered up and even wanted to take out Li Zhi's hand and run away. Li Yan pulled me so hard that he didn't budge. Seeing that other people in the ward began to pay attention to this side, I couldn't help but took Li Li to the side and told her about kidney sales.

"You ... you silly boy! What stupid thing did you do!" Li Yan looked at me with red eyes, and his voice was choked.

"It's okay. I have already asked. There will be no effect if there are two kidneys in the body." I smiled and consoled.

Li Yan stood up suddenly and looked at me anxiously: "Why is it no effect? ​​No effect, why would anyone pay so much money to buy a kidney! Xiao Mu, you listen to Li Yan, you are still young, and the road is long, Qian Don't do stupid things! "

I lowered my head and didn't speak, and half a while before I started to say, "I don't have enough money for the surgery. I can't help it anymore. I can't let my mother do something ..."

Li Ye's tears burst into tears, and her voice shook a little: "If A Xiu isn't stupid, if she knows what you are going to do, she would rather die than cure her. Li Ye has taken care of her for so many years, knowing She really thinks of you as her own child. What mother in this world is willing to use her child's health for her own life! "

I clenched my fists, my eyes gradually blurred. Every word that Li Yan said hit me in the heart. Indeed, no mother in the world would be willing to do this, but any child in the world would watch her mother step by step towards death. Although I only told me Mom has been together for less than a month, but she is the best person in the world to me. If I can't protect her, I really do n’t know how I will live.

I looked up and just wanted to speak to continue to persuade, but Li Yan suddenly stepped aside and began to pack things, "I'm dead! I'll be dead for this disease! I will take Axiu out of hospital!"

I hurried to pull her, Li Li shook my hand away, "I can't let you ruin your life. Axiu must think so."

I stopped Li Xun's movements and repeatedly guaranteed that I no longer had this idea. Li Xuan reluctantly promised to stay in the hospital temporarily before we think about a solution.

"Xiao Mu, you don't want to hide from us and have the operation done. If you really take the money for kidney sales back, I will immediately take Axiu out of the hospital. I will definitely not let her use that money for treatment." As I walked out of the hospital, Li Yan looked at me firmly.

I nodded with a bitter smile, my heart was moved and bitter. I know Li Yan is for my sake, but if I do n’t sell kidney, where can I raise money?

I have been unable to concentrate while working in the supermarket. One by one, the method of finding money is listed in my mind, and the other is negated. At this time began to desperately regret those inferiority complexes. As an orphan, he was always bullied and bullied when he was a child, and he never dared to make friends with him when he grew up. The consequence of staying away from the crowd is that even now there is not a friend to rely on.

That night, my mother's illness began to attack again. She kept curling her body and hugged her stomach tightly. Her forehead was covered with sweat, and she felt extremely painful. Li Yan had already returned, and I hurriedly asked the clinical patient to take care of him, and then hurriedly called the doctor.

After the treatment, doctors warned that the spread of cancer cells has clearly begun to accelerate, and if it is dragged on, there is no hope of cure.

I stood still, my mind blank. After a long time, I walked back to the bed and sat down and looked at my mother silently. After treatment, she was a little weak and she was not so conscious.

"When it comes to speaking, I don't know why my parents don't want me. They are obviously healthy and have no mental defects." I pulled my mother's hair on the horns and said softly.

"When I was young, I didn't know what an orphan was. I thought that the aunts in the orphanage were mothers. Mother Chen, Li, and Zhang. Later, I realized that the children outside called their mothers without a surname.

The first couple to adopt me was a middle-aged couple and it was nice to me. But then I had my own child and sent me back. The second adoption was 10 years old. At first, the hostess thought I had a bad personality, and kept her head down all day without saying a word, worried that I had any psychological problems, and sent me back to the orphanage. "

The last time was 12 years old, a couple who looked very gentle. After going back with them, I found that both people had a tendency to be violent. Whenever I was unhappy, they hit me, threw everything at me, and my head was smashed by the ashtray. I was later reported to the police and returned to the orphanage. "

I was probably noisy at this point, and my mother opened her eyes and looked at me staggeringly. I smiled at her and held her hand and continued, "Since then I can no longer expect to have my own parents. Just growing so big, walking down the street to see the children holding their parents Still envy. "

"Mom, you are the first person to make me feel important. Let me know, if I am gone, some people will be sad and sad .... Let me know what it feels like to have a mother ..."

Tears fell from my eyes, and I lowered my head and cried, "I won't let you be ill ... I don't want to be alone ... I don't want to be alone ..."

The rough palm touched my face and looked up, my mother wiped the tears on my face with tears and looked at me sadly.

She must not understand me, but just because she saw me crying, she would be sad. No reason, no reason, because she treats me as her own child.

I reached out and wiped her tears, comforting her softly. She smiled at me, her eyes tender and loving, her eyes warm. All the cowardly fears in my heart were melted, and I made a decision silently.

After my mother gradually fell asleep, I put her hand into the quilt and covered it. He stood up and looked at her for a long while before walking out of the ward firmly.

Sorry.

I have to renounce my promise again.