My Pick Up Artist System

After a hard day's work, Ben was chilling on his bed, feeling good, as a man who just jizzed all over an elevator should…

There were a lot of things lightening his mood:

Laura and what became of her…

The points and rewards he was about to eat.

And the fact that he didn't have to clean up the elevator.

It wasn't that he was rude. It's that he was thinking of the janitors. In reality, this was creating jobs. Literally…

With that in mind, certain words flowed from Ben's noggin'…a remastered little lullaby from a man named Vanilla Ice, called… "Ice Ice Baby."

"Yo see-my-D let's kick it

Ice ice baby

Ice ice baby

All right stop, don't need to bate cause listen

Ben is back from a brand new dimension

Magic leaf, grabs a hold of you tightly

Flow out so much poon daily and nightly

Will it ever stop yo, I don't know

Turn off the lights, and it'll glow

Like a s.e.x dream, they rock my mic like a vandal

Light up a stage and pump a hump and manhandle

Pants! Go down to the speaker that booms

I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom

That leaf, is gonna play a dope melody

Anything less than the best is a felony

Love it or leave it, better not gain weight

You better hit bull's eye the kid don't play

If there was a problem, yo I'll solve it

Unless it's the elevator cause I involve it

Ice ice baby vanilla

Ice ice baby vanilla

Ice ice baby vanilla

Ice ice baby vanilla

Now that the party is humping

With the bass kicked in and the vag's are pumpin'

Quick to the point to the point no faking

I'm cooking MC's like a pound of bacon

Burning them if you ain't quick and nimble

Follow the stratagems, it's that simple

And a big bat with a souped-up tempo

I'm on a roll and it's time to go hole-o

Rollin' with my 7.0

With my mush-tip up so my nuts get blown

The girlies on standby waving just to say hi

Did you stop no I just rode by

On elevator to the next stop

I busted a nut and I'm heading to the next notch

The c*ck was dead yo so I continued to floor 1-1 — Male's Health Magazine!

Girl was hot, prefer glasses to bikinis

So I hid the sausage like Houdini

Jealous 'cause I'm out getting mine

Laura with a vayge and Ben with a vine

Ready for the humps on the wall

The chick acting ill cause she's slapped with my balls

C.u.mshots! Rang out like a bell

I grabbed my vine all I heard were yells

Falling off the man-meat real fast

Jumped out the door slapped out the ass

Bumper to bumper the elevator's packed

I'm trying to get away before these jackers jack!

Grease on the scene you know what I mean

They passed me up confronted all the yogurt fiends

If there was a problem, yo I'll solve it

Unless it's the elevator cause I involve it

Ice ice baby vanilla

Ice ice baby vanilla

Ice ice baby vanilla

Ice ice baby vanilla

Get head' cause I'm a lyrical poet

Mommy's on the scene just in case you didn't know it

My pound that created all the ass sounds

Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground

'Cause my style is a chemical spill

Feasible rhymes that you can envision and feel

C.u.mducted and formed

It's a hell of a c.u.mcept

We make em' wipe and you don't wanna step on this!

Sausage on the fade, hides like a ninja, pours like a Gatorade

So fast! Other MCs say damn~

If my rhyme was a drug I'd sell it by the gram

Keep my composure when it's time to get loose

Magnetized by the mic while I get that juice

If there was a problem, yo I'll solve it

Unless it's the elevator cause I involve it

Ice ice baby vanilla

Ice ice baby (oh-oh) vanilla

Ice ice baby vanilla

Ice ice baby vanilla ice

Yo man let's get out of here

Word to your mother

Ice ice baby too cold

Ice ice baby too cold too cold

Ice Ice baby too cold too cold

Ice ice baby too cold too cold"

Ben was feeling great after he laid down his lyrical poetry…

However, in the end, it was all about the points, which is why Ben couldn't keep that stupid grin off his face because they were a'comin. Yet, today, he had something even better than that.

[Monthly Challenge: Keep It in the Family - Seduce a woman who is at least a 7 in looks and a legal or blood relative of a woman you've slept with]

[Reward: Stat Point(Random) x1]

[Punishment: Plus or minus one testicle…depending]

[Completion status: 1/1]

[Distributing reward: Stat Point(Random) x1]

[Assigning Stat: Knowledge +1]

Ben closed his eyes as he felt his knowledge expand and become clearer, He was growing wiser, more astute, in the areas he was familiar with:

Memes…

D*ck jokes…

Ass, titties, and fart jokes…

'Why is it all this sh*t?!?' Ben opened his eyes in a fury…

Wasn't he at least good at marketing and some book knowledge, so why was he feeling like all the nonsense was being reinforced… He sighed. 'Whatever, this might be my destiny…' Ben was willing to go with the flow.

Besides, there was something more important to take a look at now. Having c.u.mpleted his very worrisome monthly challenge, that now meant he had a new one to look forward to, or perhaps, a new difficulty to deal with.

*Author's Note: Thank you for all your support! There may be occasional days where chapters are late because my schedule has become a little challenging due to personal matters. However, I'll do my best to post everything on time. Please don't forget to vote every day! Thanks again!