My Pick Up Artist System

"You guys look like you're having the most fun out of anyone here!" Ben opened two women at the bar using the line Antonio gave him.

"Yea! We are!" The cute one said as they both chuckled and looked at him.

He chatted both of them up with jokes, keeping it friendly, not focusing on his target. Choosing a target was easy in this set. One was cute and one was a 3/10, unacceptable by both system and man.

Things were going well. The three of them laughed and conversed over 5 minutes. Then the cute target excused herself to make a phone call outside, leaving the obstacle with Ben.

Ben considered his next move. 'Ok, we've been talking long enough. Now's the perfect chance to defuse the obstacle.' He put on a warm smile and moved closer to whisper something in her ear.

The woman giggled expecting another funny joke.

"Listen pig, your friend is mine. This is life or death for me. So you best get the f*ck out the way!"

***

Antonio gave Ben a gaze mixed with fear and respect. "Cuz…did you really say that? That was too much."

Ben agreed. "I know right? Her response WAS too much! She didn't have to scream like a stuck pig! It was just a little joke/threat…" Ben made a nervous laugh. The 8 days deadline had him on edge.

He reassured himself. 'I'm a good guy. It was a joke.' He was just kidding…mostly.

After the failed deactivation, the obstacle screamed and the bouncers almost kicked Ben out. They only backed off after Antonio appeased them by saying it was a joke gone wrong, somehow defusing the situation.

Things were not going well so far, but there was one bright spot. He gained an achievement!

[Congratulations! You've unlocked the Achievement: Forever Dry(uncommon) - Dodge 3 drinks thrown by different women within an hour]

[Distributing reward: PUA Points + 200]

[Distributing reward: PUA Points + 200 (Event bonus)]

'400 points! The double rewards were worth every drop!

'What else can I get women to throw at me?'

It was the birth of a dodging master!

Ben had 750 points now, enough to redeem a Mystery Box. Whatever he got could help him make more points over this special event. So he excused himself to the bathroom to try his luck.

'Last time I did an unboxing in a men's room, I got a trash banana peel, I hope the bathroom isn't a factor.' Bathrooms were seldom places one struck a fortune.

Ben walked into the small bar bathroom.

[Dungeon Safe Zone detected]

…

'What am I safe from? The monster biddies?' Ben shook his head. He couldn't understand how this system viewed the world. Still, it made him curious about what other secrets this "Dungeon" held.

Ben entered a stall and went shopping.

"Make me feel goo—" Ben almost sweet-talked the system again, but stopped when he realized there were two issues. First, there were half a dozen guys outside who Ben was certain were staring at his stall now.

Second, on the last occasion of his bathroom pillow talk, the system didn't show him love. 'Snort. I won't kiss your cold butt-cheeks!' Since she didn't appreciate him, he wouldn't sweet-talk her anymore!

Ben didn't waste any more time and bought a Mystery Box. 'Give me something to get through this obstacle course of s.l.u.ts!' Instead of the system, he prayed to Allah for good luck. Ben heard he was big on harems.

In essence, his belief was for sale to the highest bidder.

A small light show later and Ben looked down at a six-colored treasure.

It was...a propeller hat...a multi-colored baseball cap with a spinning plastic rotor on top.

'No. There must be something special about this.' Ben read the description.

[Propeller Hat(Item, Common) x1 - It's a hat. Oh…there is one special property. If you push the propeller, it provides spinage. Suitable for dogs and deranged humans.]

"F*ck!" Ben slammed the cap into the ground. As he was about to leave, he looked back, then sighed. 'In my platoon, there'll be no items left behind...' A hero willing to rescue a propeller hat became qualified for the derple star.

Seeing Ben leaving the bathroom, Antonio approached him. His eyebrows raised when he saw the multi-colored hat hanging out of his pocket. "Sick propeller hat cuz! Did you have that before? Why haven't you been peac.o.c.king that this entire time?"

Ben wanted to curse. 'Because I don't want to die a v.i.r.g.i.n in a week, that's why.'

Noticing Ben wasn't interested in the topic, Antonio talked about something else. "All right, back to business then. That last approach was no good man. You need to take a softer attitude when defusing obstacles. It's like a bomb, you need to be gentle, or it'll just explode and blow your c*ck off…"

Ben listened. "How do you defuse them then?"

"Make them like you. Be nice and befriend them. Then they'll be less likely to block you."

Ben nodded. "Makes sense, although I wish you told me that before. Yea, a friend wouldn't threaten you..." He decided to try something else. "Ok. I'm going in again."

Ben opened another two-set standing by a window. Like last time, his opener went well. He chatted with them, becoming part of the group. Some minutes later, his target turned around to say goodbye to a couple she knew.

Ben noticed this opportunity. He was alone with the obstacle. 'This is my chance. Defuse the obstacle. Become friends with her.'

"You want to go play Halo?"

…

"Or we could pick up girls?"

***

"What happened?" Antonio was asking why the obstacle pulled the target away and left with a disgusted expression.

Ben's face revealed loneliness. "She didn't want to be friends…"

…

He looked back in her direction. 'Mobile gamer sc.u.m…'