Seeking Immortality

Sensing that Zhang Ningmei suddenly left the room and walked quickly towards Ting'er's room, Xu Qingfan was stunned.

"Why did Ningmei suddenly go to find Ting'er?"

Ever since Zhang Ningmei became Xu Qingfan's disciple, she has been very obedient to Xu Qingfan's words. Before guarding Bai Yu's meditation, Xu Qingfan had already told her to understand the immortal cultivation principles that Xu Qingfan talked about in his sermons and to work hard to condense her consciousness.

It was already late at night, and Ting'er was about to form a pill. Logically, unless there was something special, Zhang Ningmei should condense her consciousness in the room and should not disturb Ting'er.

Uncontrollably, Xu Qingfan's consciousness explored Ting'er's room. Because Ting'er was sensitive, Xu Qingfan was very careful.

Just after doing all this, Xu Qingfan suddenly realized that what was the difference between his current behavior and **? He couldn't help but laugh at himself. Just as he was about to withdraw his consciousness from the detection, he suddenly heard Zhang Ningmei's question: "Senior Sister Ting'er, what's the matter with you suddenly looking for me?"

Then, it was Ting'er's voice that sounded, low and a little tired, but it was something Xu Qingfan had never heard before.

"Junior Sister Ningmei, I don't want to form a pill anymore."

Hearing these two conversations, Xu Qingfan was shocked, but he didn't withdraw his consciousness, but listened more attentively. It was related to Ting'er's mentality before forming a pill. If she was not careful, Ting'er's retreat in a few days would not only fail to form a pill, but might even go astray. Xu Qingfan's expression also became solemn.

"Senior Sister Ting'er. What do you mean by that? Isn't forming a pill what all cultivators below the Jindan stage hope for?"

Although he couldn't see her face. Xu Qingfan could imagine the puzzled look on Zhang Ningmei's face.

"Junior Sister Ningmei, do you know? Uncle... is actually the enemy who killed my father. He killed my father, my people, and all my playmates."

Ting'er's voice became deeper and deeper, and she seemed to be suppressing some kind of emotion in her heart.

"What?"

Zhang Ningmei's voice was full of disbelief. In his heart, Xu Qingfan was humble and elegant, with a calm and peaceful mind. He was the kind of person who would never kill easily. Not to mention killing the whole family, he never expected that Xu Qingfan, whom Ting'er relied on and cared about, and Ting'er, whom Xu Qingfan valued and loved, would have such a grudge between them.

Then, before Zhang Ningmei could react, Ting'er told her how she and her people were transformed and controlled by the magic beads, how Xu Qingfan killed all his people together with the people in Qingxu Sect and Kuxiu Valley, how he killed his father in a duel, and how he finally adopted her,

or how the relationship between him and Zhang Ningmei has become increasingly close in recent days. Maybe these emotions have been accumulated for too long and need to be vented to someone, or Xu Qingfan's absence has made Ting'er let go of her guard, but Ting'er's words are unexpectedly many. At least since Xu Qingfan adopted Ting'er, he has never seen Ting'er say so many words again.

After telling the story of the past, Ting'er did not end, but began to talk about every bit of her life with Xu Qingfan over the years, talking about how Xu Qingfan taught her to cultivate immortals, how Xu Qingfan taught her to be a person, how Xu Qingfan got angry with her for the only time after she first cultivated immortals without caring about her life, and the book "Three Quests" that Xu Qingfan gave her when he left. She said that Xu Qingfan always smiled lightly and patted her head gently, and how she changed from resistance to Xu Qingfan to habit, and from habit to indispensability and dependence.

Later, Ting'er changed the topic from Xu Qingfan and her to Xu Qingfan himself. Xu Qingfan's fatigue under heavy pressure and responsibility, Xu Qingfan's helplessness when he saw her cold expression, Xu Qingfan's sadness when Liu Huaxiang passed away. Xu Qingfan's pride when he saw her win the first prize in the sect. Xu Qingfan's joy when he formed the elixir, Xu Qingfan's powerlessness when he could not resist fate.

Hearing Ting'er's slow narration. Xu Qingfan's mood... maybe he himself couldn't describe it.

Guilt? Happiness? Pity? Touched?

Some of the things Ting'er said, even Xu Qingfan himself gradually forgot them as time passed, but Ting'er still remembered them clearly. And when Ting'er talked about Xu Qingfan's mood over the years, Xu Qingfan didn't expect that Ting'er, who had been standing behind him and watching him silently all these years, actually observed him so carefully and thoroughly.

In fact, Xu Qingfan has always felt guilty about Ting'er. This guilt is not only because he killed her father's clan with his own hands, but also because Xu Qingfan promised to take care of Ting'er when he adopted her, but in fact, Xu Qingfan has never done it.

Either he has to retreat or go down the mountain. Although Xu Qingfan and Ting'er live in the same courtyard, they rarely meet. It is good to be able to spend ten days with Ting'er in a year. Even if they meet, Xu Qingfan only teaches Ting'er to cultivate immortals. Often after meeting, Xu Qingfan asks Ting'er about her cultivation, and Ting'er tells her the doubts about cultivation in her heart. After Xu Qingfan answers, the meeting is over. Then Ting'er silently watched Xu Qingfan enter his room to retreat again. The next time the door is opened, it will be several years later.

But I didn't expect Ting'er to care so much about these ten days, and remember them so deeply. Every bit is so important to her.

Xu Qingfan suddenly realized that when Ting'er followed him, she was less than ten years old and was very innocent, but he never gave Ting'er the childhood she deserved.

In other words, since the magic bead appeared in her life, her childhood and innocence had been destroyed, but the appearance of Xu Qingfan destroyed this childhood and innocence even more completely.

Thinking of this, Xu Qingfan felt even more guilty and pity.

And as Ting'er finished speaking, Ting'er's room fell into silence again. Ting'er seemed to be indulged in her own memories. But Zhang Ningmei was completely stunned.

"Senior Sister Ting'er, the master had no choice but to do so. You should know that the master is not that kind of person. I think you at least still have hatred and goals to persist in this matter. But every time the master looks at you, , but there is only guilt in my heart. The pain in Master's heart is no less than yours. What's more, you have seen how Master has treated you over the years. Are you still unable to let go of this hatred? " Zhang Ningmei finally woke up from the shock. Slowly enlightened: "What's more, senior sister, don't be angry if I say anything. Your father and your people should have died from the moment they were transformed by the magic beads."

But Ting'er was immersed in her own feelings and memories at this time, but she didn't seem to hear Zhang Ningmei's enlightenment. After being silent for a long time, he suddenly said to himself again: "Do you know? The reason why I have been cultivating immortality all these years is because one day I can surpass my uncle in cultivation, and then find him to avenge my father. But uncle's skill The realm is getting deeper and deeper. I thought I would never hope for him, but a few days ago, my uncle suddenly called me and said that it was time for me to form a pill. At that moment, I suddenly realized. It turns out that while my uncle's cultivation realm is becoming more and more advanced, I am progressing at a faster speed. Once the pill formation is successful, the difference between my uncle's and my cultivation realm will no longer be so far away and out of reach, and I will have hope. Revenge."

"But at that moment, I suddenly realized. I no longer wanted to take revenge on my uncle. I just wanted to follow him silently, watching his joys and sorrows silently, just like before. I didn't dare Imagine what will happen to me when my uncle suddenly disappears after I take my revenge."

"I worked hard to cultivate immortality for revenge, but when I no longer wanted revenge, I suddenly found that the elixir was not formed. It made no sense to me at all."

"I'm afraid that after I form the elixir, I will have the strength to take revenge. I will have the desire for revenge again.

"You know? Although I can no longer hate my uncle, every time I meditate these years, the way my clan members look after they die, and the scene when my uncle stabs his sword into my father's body during a duel, will always be in my mind. The expressions on their faces lingering in my mind were very angry, as if they were urging me to take revenge, and they seemed to be angry that instead of taking revenge, I gradually forgot about them. "

"So, I don't want to form a pill anymore, and it will continue like this. Without the pill, I won't have the strength to take revenge, and I won't have to take revenge..."

"So, I don't want to form a pill anymore, and it will continue like this. Without the pill, I won't have the strength to take revenge, and I won't have to take revenge..." Listening to Ting'er's innocent words with some childishness, although she knew that Ting'er Er no longer wanted to take revenge on him, but Xu Qingfan couldn't help but feel heartache. A heart-wrenching pain, mixed with guilt and heartache, that could not be relieved at all.

Ting'er, what kind of pressure and pain has been hidden in her heart these years?

Unexpectedly, Xu Qingfan remembered the scene when he met Ting'er for the first time. At that time, Ting'er was less than ten years old and thin. She stood in front of her father's body and shouted softly. Father, his expression was even more indifferent than now.

Silently withdrawing his consciousness, Xu Qingfan did not continue to listen. Ting'er's thoughts and knots were already known, so there was no need to continue listening. Moreover, Xu Qingfan did not have the energy to listen anymore.

As for whether Zhang Ningmei can persuade Ting'er, Xu Qingfan already knows the outcome. Although Zhang Ningmei is considerate and considerate, Ting'er's knot stems from Xu Qingfan, his dead father and tribe, and her own heart, but it cannot be solved with a few words of relief.

Sighing silently, Xu Qingfan no longer had the intention to meditate. He walked slowly out of the door, looked up at the bright moon and stars in the sky, thinking about what he and Ting'er had done over the years, and Ting'er's words just now made him start in a daze. After a while, it seemed that there was the innocence and romance of Ting'er back then.

When Xu Qingfan and Ting'er met for the first time, the stars and moon in the sky were just like those on Jiuhua Mountain at this time. At this moment, the memory seemed to slow down.

I don’t know how long it took, but I don’t know what Ting’er said in the room and what Zhang Ningmei said. I just heard a sudden sound coming from Ting’er’s room. When I turned around, I saw Zhang Ningmei pushing the door open and walking out. , the look on his face was also sad. Through the gap between Zhang Ningmei's body and the door, he could see Ting'er sitting in front of the bed, thinking about something in a daze.

Seeing Xu Qingfan standing in the courtyard, Zhang Ningmei was slightly startled, but she quickly closed the door of Ting'er's room and walked towards Xu Qingfan.

However, Xu Qingfan waved his hand and signaled Zhang Ningmei to return to her room first. At the same time, he sent a message: "I have heard what you and Ting'er said. You should go back to the room and rest first. I will find a way to solve it."

After hearing Xu Qingfan's words, Zhang Ningmei nodded obediently and turned around to walk towards her room. But before entering the room, she still turned to look at Xu Qingfan and saw that Xu Qingfan's face seemed to have a look like Ting'er's. Sad and helpless, but a trace of worry flashed in his eyes.

With a creak, the door closed, and Xu Qingfan was the only one left in the courtyard again.

After standing all night, Xu Qingfan looked up at the starry sky. As the stars moved, the sun slowly rose from the horizon, and the stars and the moon gradually disappeared. The light dispelled the darkness, and his clothes were wet by the morning mist. Xu Qingfan finally moved, sighed slightly, and walked towards his room.

Or, while Xu Qingfan stood in the courtyard all night, was Ting'er also sitting silently in front of the bed in his room all night?

"We must not let Ting'er retreat to break through the Jindan stage, otherwise she will go crazy."

Sitting cross-legged on his bed again, Xu Qingfan gathered his emotions and thought secretly.

~~~~~~~~~