The couple made a living in the 1950s

In my earliest memory, Qingshu was a beautiful little doll.

She was prettier than the dolls my grandma took me to the foreign trade store.

I couldn't take my eyes off her.

Moreover, the dolls at Aunt Wanyu's house would cry.

When she was unhappy, she would open her mouth.

Her tears would fall down, and people's hearts would soften.

There were no girls in the family, and my father often said "Men don't cry easily".

My younger brother rarely cried after he was seven or eight years old.

I became more and more interested in Qingshu, the little crybaby.

Qingyi and I got along well, and we often played together.

Qingshu and Qingxiang always couldn't leave their brother.

So, I had the opportunity to observe why the dolls cried.

Later, when I grew up a little more.

I slowly discovered that the three younger brothers and sisters at Aunt Wanyu's house were all good-looking.

The best-looking one was Qingxiang.

But, I don't know why.

My eyes were all on Qingshu.

What lingers in my mind is always the little girl with two little haircuts that year.

Standing under the pomegranate tree at home, the little girl called me "Mingbo brother".

Later, Qingshu and her siblings started school.

We studied in the same junior high school.

That was also the year when the relationship between my family and Qingshu's family became weak.

At that time, I still stubbornly believed that this should not affect me.

I continued to like looking at my little dolls.

I was three years older than Qingshu and his siblings, and I should take care of them in school, whether it was studying or some trivial matters.

This way I would have more opportunities to continue to be with them.

In the past, my grandmother often said that everything should not violate the law or violate morality.

Everything is up to my heart.

When I first fell in love, I silently despised myself in my heart for a long time.

I don't know when it started.

The look in Qingshu's eyes was no longer the simple love and curiosity for beautiful dolls in childhood.

There were other things in there.

So many that I was afraid to scare her away.

I put myself in a dilemma.

When I was a child, I read the Book of the Later Han Dynasty.

Whenever I read "lost in the east, gained in the west."

I deeply agree that people should not be discouraged by temporary failure.

We should judge the situation and turn disadvantages into advantages.

Even if we lose in this aspect at the beginning, we will definitely gain in other aspects.

It doesn't matter what we gain or lose.

Until, I repeatedly confirmed my possessiveness of Qingshu.

Whenever I think of this sentence, I feel inexplicably annoyed.

In this world, obviously not all people and things can withstand gains and losses.

Some people can never be compensated after losing.

Even if I get more in the future, it is not the one I want most.

For a long time, I was like a shameless peeping torrent.

I was afraid that Qingshu would find out my feelings for her and firmly reject me.

But I couldn't bear to be away from her.

I always wanted to appear in front of her, even if it was just to glance at her accidentally.

When Qingyi had time, he would bring Qingshu and Qingxiang to my house to listen to grandma's reading.

They would come from time to time until I started high school.

At this time, I was basically busy studying in my bedroom to prepare for the college entrance examination.

Even if I didn't meet her like this, the joy in my heart knowing that she was at home could still easily disturb my mood.

Time passed quickly.

When I was studying in the military academy, I never had the opportunity to go home.

In a blink of an eye, Qingshu reached the age of marriage.

I lived a miserable life every day.

I have never been so scared since I was a child.

I was afraid that she would like someone else, and I was afraid that she would reject me too straightforwardly.

Without leaving room for each other.

I was afraid of Aunt Yu because my mother didn't like Qingshu marrying me.

I was even more afraid that she didn't like me loving her because of the relationship between our parents.

In my memory, all my fears were caused by her.

Before I started writing to her frequently, the relationship between our two families had always been lukewarm.

Uncle Bai and Auntie Yu respected grandma very much, and also loved me and my brother.

But there was always a lack of closeness.

I didn't dare to ask my father to come to my house to propose marriage for me, for fear that her pretty mouth would say something I didn't want to hear.

No one knew that her words could make me go to heaven or hell.

I didn't really feel at ease until we got the marriage certificate.

At that time, we took the military academy entrance exam and all majors were assigned by the state.

I studied in the military command department.

When I graduated and joined the company, the boundaries between military cadres and political cadres in our major were not clear.

I was really afraid that Qingshu would have a hard life, so I went against the public opinion and trained with the military cadres and went out to perform tasks together.

I almost didn't come back on that mission.I was scared at that time. I couldn't let go of my grandma, dad, brother and mom.

I couldn't let go of Qingshu even more.

If I died here, she would like someone else in the future.

Before I fell into a coma, I was thinking about what to do if the person she married in the future didn't treat her well.

I couldn't rest assured no matter who I entrusted her to.

When I woke up again, I had just finished the operation.

I was lying on the bed in the military hospital.

Later, I was transferred to Xiehe Hospital to recover from my injuries.

It was the first time that Qingshu and I had a secret.

She always thought that I no longer went on missions because the superiors required everyone to do their own duties.

It is not recommended that political cadres go out to perform missions instead of military cadres.

I didn't let her know that my body could not recover as flexible as before the injury.

In fact, it was also good to watch her every day and see her eyebrows and eyes relax.

She didn't have to worry about me.

I didn't have to be afraid of leaving her.

At first, I thought my father-in-law and mother-in-law would keep Qingshu by their side for a few years.

I was ready to go home to visit my relatives every year.

Later, she came to the army to follow the troops.

I felt that I had nothing else to ask for.

When we first got together, I couldn't help but want to stick to her.

Grandma said that my mother-in-law had asked her and didn't want Qingshu to have a baby too early.

I was happy with this.

Every day, it was just the two of us living together.

I can't remember which day it was when Lin Jiawei saw me and started to hesitate.

I learned that people in the family building were saying that Qingshu had been married for so long but still had no children.

She must be unable to have children.

At that time, I was very worried that she would feel uncomfortable hearing these words.

So I thought about having a child as soon as possible.

We are not young anymore.

Both parents started to mention this topic.

She may not remember that I asked about the child when she was confused.

She asked me to take safety measures.

Since then, I have never mentioned the matter of having a child again.

There were a few times when I was really upset.

I deliberately made her lose control and secretly stop using birth control products.

She didn't mention taking safety measures again.

In fact, I should have asked her later if she wanted to have a child for me.

I made myself feel upset for no reason for so long.

Qingshu and I have three children.

This is the best gift I have ever received.

I am lucky to have a grandmother who doesn't love my mother.

It was not until later that I was transferred back to work in the Beijing Military Region.

That was when my grandmother met Qingshu for the first time.