The Death Knell

"Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell, we are so happy to kill people, we are sitting on the subway..."

After entering the city, Wade insisted on taking the subway, saying that flying everywhere would easily lead to being mistaken for Santa Claus, and it would be bad if bad boys hit him with anti-aircraft missiles.

Su Ming didn't care. Subways, tunnels, underground rivers, and sewers were all terrains he was good at.

In the subway car, Deadpool was bobbing his head and singing, looking very happy. The surrounding citizens were also strangely friendly to his appearance, and some children even came to him to ask for his autograph.

After signing a few photos, Wade winked at Su Ming with some embarrassment: "I have over 100,000 followers on Twitter. I'm a celebrity now."

"Are you sure that others are following you, not that you are following 100,000 people?" Su Ming leaned on the subway bench and looked at the snow-white lights on the top of the car. Today is Christmas Eve, and there are not many pedestrians. Otherwise, the New York subway would be really It will kill people.

"Pay attention to each other, each other." Deadpool turned his head, not looking at his cousin's mask. The red eyepiece on it seemed to be able to see through people's hearts.

"Hey, Wade, are you spending Christmas with your family? Where are you going to massacre?" A man in a green uniform came over from the carriage, raised his hand and greeted Deadpool.

Deadpool raised his head, and the small eyes on the mask curled up: "Isn't this Bob, you dog, I killed everyone else in your branch last time, why didn't you say wait for me so we can take a taxi together? Are you leaving?"

Having said that, Wade still clapped his hands with the opponent and performed a set of black street moves.

"No way, the courier called me at midnight. The oven I ordered has arrived. The courier urged me to go home and sign for it, so I left first. Next time." Bob shrugged helplessly and said helplessly.

Wade nodded noncommittally, scratched his armpits, and a smell like fox urine filled the air: "By the way, you haven't seen it yet, Bob, this is my cousin Deathstroke. Cousin Bro, this is Hydra Bob, my pet.”

"Of course I know Deathstroke, the world's number one mercenary." Bob took out a small book with the Hydra emblem on it: "Can you sign it for me?"

Deadpool's face dropped, and his eyes turned into dead fish shapes. He pushed Bob: "Go away, I don't like you."

"Why are you so stingy?" Bob was pushed and staggered, sitting on the floor of the carriage. Something made a crisp sound: "Oh, it's broken, the bomb has been activated."

"What kind of bomb? Are you going to have Hydra activities on Christmas Eve? It's very tiring." Wade hugged his arms and had no intention of moving. Anyway, the bomb couldn't kill him, and everyone in the car would die. It's none of his business either.

"There's nothing I can do about it. I get five times the salary for overtime work during Christmas. I want to buy a new refrigerator for my family." As Bob said, he got up and took out a bomb from the big backpack behind him and handed it to Deadpool. .

When the people who were originally calm in the car saw the bundle of red detonators with a big dial on it, all the fools knew what it was, so they screamed and started to run away, at least away from this car.

"It looks very ordinary. It's just a detonator used in mines." Wade turned over the bomb, looked at the countdown and handed it to Deathstroke: "Cousin, do you think I'm right?"

Su Ming took the bomb and weighed it in his hand: "You Hydra has so many new products, how come you are a century behind?"

After saying that, he handed the bomb to Bob again.

Bob sighed and rubbed his head helplessly: "I am only a third-level agent, and there are thirty-five levels of leaders above me. What good things do you think I can have in my hands? I joined Hydra just to Medical insurance that covers dental.”

With that said, he handed the bomb to Deadpool.

"I really don't know why you haven't gotten diabetes after eating so much sugar. Apart from the fact that SHIELD doesn't cover dentists, other benefits are better than Hydra, right cousin?"

Deadpool handed the bomb to Su Ming again.

"Bob has a Hydra background, so SHIELD will definitely not be able to get into it, but you can try AIM, they also recruit security guards."

As he spoke, Su Ming threw the bomb to Bob again.

"Actually, I have considered it, but when recruiting security guards at AIM, they are required to speak eight foreign languages ​​and have a master's degree in kinesiology or medicine. I am really helpless." Bob's tone was full of helplessness, and he threw the bomb to Deadpool. .

"So demanding? How about I help you talk to M.O.D.O.K.? Let you go through his back door." Deadpool suggested with his head tilted, and threw the bomb to Deathstroke again.

"Forget it. M.O.D.O.K. hates you so much. You've taken away too much of his business. If he knows that Bob has contact with you, Bob will be dead." Su Ming glanced at the timer and turned it on again. Drop the bomb on Bob.

So while the three of them were talking, the red bomb was passed back and forth in their hands for more than ten turns.

"Ding!"

The subway arrived, and there were only three of them left in the empty carriage, while other passengers were crowded against the glass of the door of the next carriage, as if they hated themselves for not being slim enough.

As soon as we arrived at the station, everyone ran away.

Deadpool stood up, patted his butt, and stretched his waist: "Okay, Bayek Park is here. My cousin and I have to go to Line 6. We'll see you later. Call us if you need anything."

Bob held the bomb and waved to Wade with a smile: "Merry Christmas, you two."

Su Ming patted Bob on the shoulder and scratched his head speechlessly: "Merry Christmas to you too, and tell your leader next time not to set the time bomb for another hour."

............................

The two cousins ​​transferred to Line 6 and took a few more stops to reach the southern part of Brooklyn. Wade took Su Ming back to the ground, walking through the streets and alleys, getting more and more remote, and finally walked towards a shopping mall.

It's not a good shopping mall. The building looks very dilapidated. The brand on the roof is missing a few letters. It looks like a haunted house. Not to mention that there is very little business.

Often in good shopping malls, there will be some busy people making final purchases on Christmas Eve.

But here, there is not even a shadow of a ghost. Even the Santa Claus in the window on the first floor, the actor has taken off his beard and is smoking, and the sadness on his face can be seen from a distance.

Deadpool saw his cousin's gaze and turned to glance at the window: "Oh, are you looking at him? He is a good man. He likes to give small pills to good children. The kind that makes you very high after taking them."

"..." Su Ming was speechless: "By the way, why did you bring me here?"

"My office is here. I really can't think of any good kids, so I came back to ask Negative Sonic's 'Like Little Girls' Warhead. She should know a lot of ignorant girls." Deadpool replied very naturally and pushed away The somewhat rusty shopping mall door goes straight up to the third floor.

When he reached the door of a store selling stuffed rabbits, he walked in and said hello: "Hi, Jimmy, how's the business today?"

"Forget it, no one wants goods for Christmas." The toy store owner replied to Deadpool while calmly sewing a small bag of laundry detergent-like stuff into the rabbit's back: "How are you today?"

"It's Christmas, you know, no one wants to kill anyone today, I just took an order to kill Santa Claus." Deadpool picked a rabbit with cotton exposed from the counter: "Charge this to my account first, I have to prepare some small gifts for my friend’s children.”

The toy store owner waved his hand disapprovingly and gave an unloaded rabbit to Deadpool. After all, he was doing big business.

Deadpool stuffed the rabbit into his crotch, said "thank you", and then skillfully pushed open the warehouse door behind the store. Sure enough, there was a small door inside, which looked like an old-fashioned detective agency, but But it's the door number that says 'Deadpool's House of Everything'.

"Wanshiwuwu? Are you serious?" Su Ming was too lazy to complain.

"The name Yukio gave me, I think it's okay. Anyway, the key to the firm is not my professional level. It doesn't matter what the name is." With that, Deadpool pushed open the frosted glass door: "Jimmy's The goods were not kept in the warehouse, so he sublet the warehouse to me, Qiang Qiang, please come in."

Su Ming sighed and walked into the office.

The room was not big but not small either. It was a suite. There was a table outside and two rows of folding chairs. The walls were covered with maps and posters of various beauties collected by Deadpool.

A girl wearing a leather trench coat and a crew cut was crossing her legs on the desk, chewing bubble gum and playing on her mobile phone. She didn't even look when Deadpool came in.

"Hey, Negative Sonic, who is supposed to be receiving customers but only knows how to play with his mobile phone, is your boss, your boss is back, aren't you going to give me a Christmas kiss?" Deadpool took off his mask and danced with a very rippling expression. Jazz dance passed by.

The girl quickly typed and sent a message without raising her head, blew a bubble out of her mouth, and gave Deadpool a very cold middle finger.

Her movements are very skillful, and her pointing speed is as fast as lightning. You can tell at a glance that she often does this.

Wade turned to look at Su Ming and shrugged helplessly: "Look, she doesn't answer calls, she doesn't reply to text messages, and even when I come back in person, she ignores me."

"Normal people would ignore you, right?"

Let alone the young warhead, Su Ming didn't want to pay attention to his little cousin.

"No! Cousin, you can't kill her. Although she is very disrespectful and rude to me, she is my good friend. Don't be impulsive." Deadpool suddenly jumped in front of Su Ming and stretched out his arms. Claw grabbed both of Su Ming's arms, pressed his shoulders against Su Ming's chest, and shouted excitedly.

While shouting, he turned his head to peek at the reaction of the negative sonic boy Warhead.

This was a dramatic moment, so Su Ming just stood there without moving, as if he was tricked by Deadpool into killing people.

Unfortunately, the girl gave him another middle finger and was not fooled at all.

With only a slight effort from Strangler, Wade's arms were dislocated and drooped like noodles.

Wade's asshole face showed a helpless expression, he looked at Su Ming, slowly moved his shoulders and tried to set the bones with his teeth: "You saw, she begged me to take her in as a secretary, but now she doesn't care at all. Not working.”

"Who am I begging you, you stinking piece of shit? You lied to the professor and the beast. I can't even go to the toilet, but you sob sticks your head in from under the cubicle door and rubs my boots." Please help me, I came here because I was so pestered by you! Fake oil! If you don’t pay me, don’t tell me, there is no tmd holiday for Christmas, Fake oil!”

The negative sonic boy Warhead directly slapped his cell phone on the table. He stood up and said a series of sweet words. His hands were more like a combination of uppercuts, and one middle finger after another took turns to point on Deadpool's chin.

Wade's eyes widened and his mouth opened wide, as if what she said had shocked him. A look of defeat appeared on his face, and he took several steps back.

"I didn't expect that I would be such a failure as a human being..." Wade shook his head gently, then he turned around and took off his pants, revealing his rotten vagina and faced the girl: "Then as you wish, come on! Fakmi! But be gentle, I have rectal cancer."

"Haha, Jimmy's stuffed bunny?" the girl sneered.

I saw a golden light like a Super Saiyan enveloped the Negative Sonic Warhead. Under the influence of special energy, her boots collided with Wade's anus through the rabbit, and Deadpool penetrated several walls. , flew directly into the night.