The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

"Never take the initiative to attack a mage tower with an owner, and don't overestimate the moral lower limit of a mage, unless you want to be like me, I X, a 12-chain organ, you are not afraid to kill yourself, and sure enough mages are all lunatics-- Great Adventurer Jons."

In a sense, this adage has become the iron law of adventurers, especially this great adventurer who is famous all over the world for his romantic and escape ability. The chain of organs was broken down into thirteen pieces, and he used his life to make a final comment on his motto, adding to the persuasiveness of the motto.

The mage is a creature who often pursues truth and knowledge for life, and their residence and mage tower are their research institute and treasure house.

Therefore, when their research results and lives are threatened, the lower limit and morality are extremely low. Their houses and laboratories are full of various traps and mechanisms, and they are the kind of magic traps that big thieves can't do, such as opening It is very possible for a door to be randomly thrown into another world.

The residence of the legendary archmage and the mage tower are no less threatening than the dragon's lair, and the weakest lich is at least a legend.

So, I'm curious as to who would attack a lich's residence directly, especially when the lich is clearly at home.

"Eliza?"

"...Two teams of intruders, one team that was restrained by the frontal attack, and one team that came in from the side. According to their skills and the weapons they carry, they should all be dark elves, seven silver levels, three The golden rank is a very luxurious lineup.”

Eliza's expected return, but that's not what I'm asking.

"Why did it explode? Didn't I say that it's enough to set up some safe and quiet early warning facilities on the periphery? It exploded so loudly at night, and the city management will come soon."

According to the requirements of the "Code of Action for Urban Management (Sixth Edition of No Sleepers)", when they heard a violent explosion, they would form a team to explore the site within five minutes, and I happened to be in the central area of ​​Sulphur Mountain City, far from the city. The Supreme Court is not far away, and they will arrive within ten minutes at least.

"They will definitely take the opportunity to conduct a big search on us! Wouldn't those contraband in our basement suffer!?"

The urban management department only has the power to enforce the law on the spot. If you want to search someone’s house, you must wait for the search warrant issued by the higher authority. Come search my home...

Yes, from the very beginning, what I worried about was not the intruders, but the corrupt officials and unscrupulous businessmen who did not dare to call the police if their illegal income was stolen. I'll be thrown straight into Sulphur Mountain Prison.

Hearing my complaints, Eliza still had that poker face.

"Yes, don't you want a 'safe' anti-theft system? According to your requirements, the peripherals are just some engineering early warning robots."

"Then why did it explode?" Then, hearing the re-read "safety", I suddenly realized.

"'Safe?' Wouldn't you say which safe goblin machine is on Gold Coin Street? Is that the one owned by Brother Bea?"

Of course I know about that store, the safety brand goblin equipment has had its business license revoked several times for selling fake goods and explosives, and it should still be operating without a license now.

Of course, they named the store to deceive people.

It's true that someone has bought the wrong "goblin product", but after a few accidents, where else would someone buy it? This brand has also become a negative example.

"Of course, I thought that was your intention to take care of your brothers, where did you specifically ask me to buy it?"

"They're not my brothers! What's the use of their stuff other than exploding? I'm crazy to ask you where to buy it!"

"Sorry, I misunderstood you."

Although the maid sincerely apologized, but from the slightly raised arc at the corner of her mouth, I knew that this sullen half-demon was secretly complacent, she must have done it on purpose!

"I... well, I've convinced you, and you've worked hard to toss me."

"As long as you pay your wages, I guarantee your life will be smooth sailing in the future."

"Hmph, don't think about it, you think I don't know what your demons do. Paying off the salary is also the end of the contract. Do you want to be free? Don't think about it."

During the chat, the two teams were getting closer, but I still didn't take it to heart.

"Have the identity of the intruder been found out? If you haven't yet, I'll cut your funds. Hmph, don't think I don't know that you stole funds and used them to buy your own things. So big, I still like those frivolous things. The clothes, hum, the steel maiden in the lace dress? Need my pocket money to buy dolls..."

The irony is halfway through, and I can't go on. It's like a black fog of real resentment, constantly reminding me that it will be bad luck in a few days. For example, half of the experimental log written in the experiment is suddenly blown away by the strong wind, and the supplies of the energy pool are inexplicable. It turned into dog food, the grease used to clean and care for bones suddenly turned into natural asphalt, half of the urban management in daily life fell from the sky, and the robes of the justices who went to work suddenly had more lace and cartoon patterns...

......Thinking of this, a kind of sadness falls from the sky, who is the master and who is the servant? Am I really thinking about paying her off and getting her out of here!

"Boom!!"

Another huge explosion interrupted my thoughts.

"What is this? Landmine? You actually bought this thing and put it in the garden!" I took the opportunity to attack. "Hmph, disobeying the order, violating our contract, and taking the opportunity to deduct her salary for another ten years."

"...that location should be the goblin automatic sprinkler T130."

"Boom!!"

"This way? Lawn mower?"

"No, it should be the entrance, and the doorbell is 'Da Shengjun'?" Tilt her head, the girl pretended to be natural.

"It's loud enough. Fortunately, I never ring the doorbell... No, you even bought a safety card for the doorbell. Are you planning to make money and kill your life?"

"Boom!!" "Boom!!" This time, it was a series of explosions. I knew that all the floors of the entrance had to be replaced. No, listening to the intensity of the explosion, maybe it was time for a new entrance in my old house.

"This is? Shoe cabinet?"

Eliza nodded sadly. "Safety brand automatic shoe cabinet XT-137 type. It is said that it can help the owner to automatically select shoes, brush shoes, apply shoe polish..."

I couldn't help but secretly thank myself that I was a lich, that I walked by floating, and never wore shoes, but then, I felt that something was wrong.

"No, I didn't buy any shoes, what are you doing with the shoe cabinet??"

"Ah? My lord, it was my negligence."

"A negligent murder layout? Your wordplay is getting better and better."

"That's because you are well trained."

"Hey, the evil points have increased again. It seems that another one has been hung up... I hope those intruders are still alive. At least enter the next experimental area and help me test the spell trap I set up."

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Ellenita is the second daughter of the noble third house of Menzoberran, and she became the high priest of the golden rank in less than two hundred years old, which also symbolizes that she is favored by the Spider Mother, as the daughter of Menzoberran. The star of tomorrow, she is used to seeing people with her nostrils.

This time, she was led by the family to carry out a diplomatic mission to Sulphur Mountain City. After careful consideration and investigation, she determined that it was not a conspiracy by a priestess in the family for her superior, and she happily accepted this mission.

"Stupid, dirty bipedal bugs, despicable men, dare to refuse the kindness of the spider queen! Well, you are not even qualified to become slaves, let me regret my decision in the fire of the abyss."

Even as a diplomatic envoy, she still looks down on creatures other than female dark elves like most of her kin, so there is no chance of success in diplomatic and trade negotiations from the beginning.

But as dark elves, the espionage mission that they naturally come with has only just begun.

"You guys, go and perform the task given to me by the spider queen. All the characters on this list can be assassinated. If you can't do it temporarily, collect information."

Therefore, these days, the city management team received complaints about the presence of dark elves in the city, and they themselves fell into a passive state.

"The group of bitches who wear ridiculous uniforms and believe in the Holy Light, seeing those idiots who betray the Spider Queen makes people sick to their stomachs... As long as they take the opportunity to get rid of them, the Spider Mother will definitely drop more rewards! "

But for Ellenita, the execution of the family's espionage mission is only incidental, and the real goal is to let the subordinates sent by the family fight to death for her and strive for more benefits for herself.

But she hasn't had time to find the trouble of her bizarre fellows who believe in the Holy Light. A partner from Caron City was unexpectedly arrested.

"Stupid man, he died because he was too stupid and too weak, but if he said something, it would be a big trouble. If he was caught by Brimstone Mountain, the diplomatic corps of Menzoberran would be expelled en masse. Not to mention shame, the investigation and assassination missions failed at the same time, and if our secrets were discovered by the other party..."

Thinking of the family's torture of the losers, the spider queen's punishment for the weak, and the monsters that turned into half-human, half-spider... Ellenita couldn't help but tremble.

But fortunately, the wise Spider Mother was still caring for him, and the mark he put on the man actually showed that he was taken away from the volcanic prison that could not be conquered, and was taken to this strange old house.

Even though he heard that this is the residence of the lich, he did not flinch.

"Just another stupid man. Are you virgins who haven't enjoyed the services of those beautiful male mages in your family? You are afraid of a mages? Even if he is a legendary mages, we are dark elves, born spell killers. We Two golden rank shadow dancers, a spider queen priest, can kill him in an instant..."

But at this moment, she didn't have the calmness and confidence she had when she set off.

"There are explosions, explosions, explosions, doorbells explode, insoles explode, even pebbles on the side of the road explode... What kind of place have we come to?"

A golden shadow dancer as powerful as herself was lying on the icy floor, her head had a gap, her skull had already flown out, blood and brains were constantly overflowing, the cause of death...

"Axidi, the mighty Chinese blood, died in an exploding coat rack, will anyone believe it? How can I explain to my family that we just lost the strongest killer in less than three minutes. The elites of the two squads only survived three, but they didn't even see their opponents."

The survivors no longer dared to move forward, and when Ashidi, who was retreating, was killed by the coat rack, they didn't even dare to retreat, so they could only form a group on guard.

But soon, she won't have to worry anymore.

Because in the front, a floating figure emerged from the darkness, the silver frost magic power and the black death magic power lingered between the skeletons, the purple soul fire was burning in the eye sockets, and the voice formed by the magic vibration was icy and cold. despair.

"Hello, test product No. 17893, test product No. 17894, test product No. 17895, welcome to my laboratory, um, please remember your number, from today, this is your new name, here, also It will be your home for the rest of your life, and I hope I can make you feel the warmth of home."

The lich's voice synthesized with magic power can't distinguish between men and women, and there are no emotional fluctuations. It seems that it is just announcing a fact that everyone knows. He looks at himself, there is no male desire, and there is no female jealousy. If there is anything, it is just right Physiological structure of interest.

Inexplicably, looking at the icy eyes that were burning like ghosts, Ellenita remembered the advice of her grandmother who hurt her the most.

"In the eyes of the world, we dark elves are evil, dangerous and crazy, but in the face of real evil, we are just poor lambs to be slaughtered..."

"Grandma, I finally understand your sigh. But unfortunately, it's too late... There is no good or evil, no like or dislike, just look at the eyes of experimental animals, is this the real evil?"

Before losing consciousness, this was the last sigh of Alanita, the rising star of Menzoberran, the noble second daughter of the Third Family.