The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

According to legend, every transcendence who breaks the boundaries of time and space will receive a gift from the world... Well, it is commonly known as the golden finger that is necessary for traversers.

The evil lich system...is my scumbag gold finger.

In the past, it was not called this name. He had a good name like the Radiant Knight King Training System, but unfortunately, he became this name only after I abandoned my paladin status and started to learn black magic.

In the past, the daily tasks he gave were to help the old lady on the street, help the little girl to find the lost pet, etc., instead of the current situation.

"Look at today's daily life... It's another one of two idiots. Destroy any town with more than 30,000 people and reward 10,000 evil points. Grab three children's lollipops and reward 1 point. If it is not completed, then 2 points will be deducted."

"Bah! It's stupid to be a fool. I really ruined a town. I promise to create an epic medieval Paladins to attack me, and I will earn some money and not spend it."

She took her lollipop from a passing tauren little loli, watched the little girl cry and was pulled away by her mother, just put it in her mouth, but heard the crunchy sound of the lollipop and the bone hitting, and then she remembered herself. There is no sense of taste.

"Hey, when will we be able to enjoy the taste of food again. Although the magic power is full, it is really not delicious."

Even though the girl's mother was dragging the bear child away, the little girl seemed unwilling to give up, staring at me with her big watery eyes, as if she realized that I couldn't eat food and was expecting something.

Thought the passing lich uncle was just a prank? Will give the lollipop back to myself in no time.

Well, in order to live up to the expectations of the other party, I smashed the sugar cubes into pieces, and then spit them out on the ground.

"Woooooo!! Mom. My uncle stole my candy."

"Don't look, let's go."

So, without any accident, I got a pleasant cry. At that time, my mood was much better, because I thought of a certain lawless bear child.

"Do the undead have no human rights? Ancient magic scrolls are used as graffiti paper, dragon blood ink is used as paint, alchemy potions that have been painstakingly made are used as soft drinks, and even my ribs are secretly removed to play puzzles, I After only two hours of sleep, the laboratory has turned into ruins, the destructive power of the bear child is terrible..."

"Hey, when can I get revenge?" Thinking of those lawless bear children, especially a certain wild and untrained older bear child, my teeth itch with hatred.

Suddenly, but unexpectedly, I heard a system prompt.

"Ding, congratulations to the host for accumulating the 100th little loli/zhengtai for crying, and the reward is 10 evil points. ——Law loli who looks like six years old but are actually more than twenty? It is not within the scope of statistics. The expired pseudo loli is evil ways!"

When I saw the sudden achievement, I couldn't help but feel a burst of joy. The last score in the score system was ten points, which was equivalent to my ten-day daily tasks.

"According to the usual practice, if you make 100 cry, there will be achievements, and you will also have 1,000 cry, and the reward will be at least doubled..."

So, I looked at the little girl and the little Zhengtai on the street with shining eyes...

"Hmph, even if there is no routine, it is also the responsibility of the good people of our generation to let the bear children understand the rules and let everyone avoid the same bad luck."

"How to play better? By the way, the disgusting monster that activates the creation and makes the bear child's toys run around,

Magic paint that turns Xiong Haizi's lollipops into vicious shit yellow! "

As a victim of the scourge of bear children, when I think of being able to avenge my destroyed magic scrolls and precious tomes, bad ideas pop up one by one.

"No, no, that's not strong enough. Let's turn the pillow cover into a man-eating monster, so that the bear children will be afraid of the pillow in the future. By the way, there is also the black tentacles of Aivar, let you also enjoy the tickle hell."

"By the way, isn't the bear child afraid of ghosts? Hehe, it's time to rebuild the undead army, come on, my undead natural disaster!!"

That day, I finally learned that there were less than 200 bear children in our block...

It's a waste of me to walk through the streets with thousands of skeletons, abominations, and zombies...

That day, before the city management brigade received a report and arrived at the scene, before I was knocked down by a dark elf brigade and arrested, I had walked all over the block, and only made one hundred and sixty cry...

And when I learned that I summoned the undead army to take revenge on the bear children, the mixed expressions of disbelief and contempt from the city administrators also became my new black history.

"Congratulations to the host who was despised by a hundred women at one time, and obtained the special achievement 'Is this baby's head in water or paste?', after rewarding the honorary title of 'mentally handicapped child' equipment, there is a certain chance of getting sympathy from women, but women are not interested in the equipment. The person's opinion of the opposite sex decreases by 100."

……. Anyway, I have been used to being trapped by the system, and my reputation has reached the lower limit. As evidenced by the negative 88 charm recognized by my system, even if the popularity of the opposite sex is reduced by 100 points, it is no big deal...... Anyway, the result is the same. , can't find a girlfriend.

Why is it clearly a rational analysis, when I say this, I feel blood and tears flow out of my eyes... Well, I am a great magician who has been single for three hundred years, but at this moment, at least , I have completed my revenge against my old enemy Bear Child!

Recalling those crying bear children, I smiled proudly. I have already thought about how to write today's diary.

AD1896, the summer of the dragon, March 6th, is destined to be forever engraved in the memory of the bear children in Brimstone City, known as the "lollipop hunter incident." "Pillow monster cannibalism incident"

"On that day, the children recalled the horror of being dominated by that guy...the humiliation of being arbitrarily taken away from what they loved, the despair of being swallowed by their own toys, the fear of being surrounded by undead..."

When I was thinking about it, the system prompt sound came again.

"Ding! The achievement of making 100 bear children cry in one day is achieved! The reward is 10 evil points, and congratulations to the host for winning the honorary title 'Bear Child Buster'. After the equipment is equipped, it has a natural sense of threat to loli / Zhengtai under the age of twelve. Warm reminder, if you make 500 bear children cry at one time, you will be rewarded with the honorary title 'Bear Child Killer' for making 1,000 cry at a time. …

At this moment, the system notification sound stopped for a while. I couldn't help but look forward to it. Although it was a spoof title, it would be a pleasant surprise if I could keep the bear children away from me from now on.

"... Crying a thousand times at a time, rewarding the honorary title 'You are so old and still care about like a child, can you be more boring?' Oh. Host, thank me, in fact, this is the The title that best suits you right now."

"Fuck, this is really unbearable, damn system, isn't it all your fault!! This good man is fighting with you!!"

－－－－－－－－－－－－－

"Master, this time I was jailed for grabbing a lollipop... Next time, will I be jailed for throwing girls' underwear. Then, I really don't want to come to pick up perverts."

The one who spoke was my most faithful dogleg, the half-demon head maid of my mansion, the silver-haired Eliza.

Black and gold spectacle frames, silver double ponytails, small tiger teeth, and a small tail with a purple bow, the baroque-style maid uniform shows the playful character of the little devil, and also exposes the evil taste of the lich......

I've always been satisfied with Eliza's appearance, and it would be even better if I could get rid of this cold-faced and poisonous character.

"It's not like you don't know about my stupid system, just give points for making a few girls cry. That's what a good person should do."

"give!"

She handed me a heavy photo album.

"This is... oh, well done, Eliza! As expected of my most faithful son of a bitch!"

"I can probably guess what happened. This is the contact manual of the largest kindergarten in Sulphur Mountain City. It has a list that I have carefully selected. It should be convenient for the owner to complete the task."

"Good job! I thought you expected me to hang up sooner and return your freedom, but I misunderstood. Great, you are also a good person."

"Let me see!" He opened the contact list, but his face became more and more ugly.

"The contact information of the three children of the Archbishop of Holy Light of Brimstone City, the youngest daughter of the dragon hunter Amuro, who went to kindergarten, the precious son of Brother Xin, the god of war, and the precious righteous granddaughter of the great sage Margaret....you Be sure to help me, not to send me back to Hades!"

My glare was ignored by the other party as always, the half-demon girl pushed the frame of her glasses, and the cold light flickered on the lenses.

"The reputation of the lollipop hunter has spread throughout Sulphur City, and even when I go out of the mansion, I will be pointed at me. For the sake of my lady's reputation, I really want to change my job. Or, Master, you should also pay my arrears. Ten years' salary."

"Ha, ha. It hurts to mention money. Let's go, I can't wait to get back to our warm home."

"Escape is not what a gentleman should do. Also, please don't change the subject...Why are you pulling me to run, and what have you done?"

"As expected of the little Eliza who has been with me for so long, today's daily task is a gorgeous explosion, you know..."

"I understand, please do it well, I'll transfer the magic and run away!"

The silver random door was opened, and the master and servant entered quickly. After the short-range teleportation magic dissipated, there was no one here. In the background, there was a huge explosion and the fire alarm that followed. Voice.

"A delayed flame bomb? Won't the prisoners arrested by the urban management be blocked?"

"No, it just looks like it. Flour is mixed with chili powder, and then a little dust is added. It becomes a dust bomb. It is not very powerful and can't kill people, but there is absolutely no evidence."

"You really deserve to be a 'wisdom' lich. The prisoner wears a magic ring and can't explain the law. You actually made a handmade bomb from the canteen materials."

"Thank you, I'll be embarrassed if you praise me like that."

"No one is complimenting you... well, at least as a lich, this should be a compliment."

What is a lich?

"Not a good person, but the most terrifying demon." It was probably the first feeling of all the creatures in Vera when they heard this term.

"The person who looks at the bones is hairy, and those ghostly eyes are so scary, they always feel that they are doing something bad." This is the view of ordinary people.

"The ultimate existence of evil, conspirators and villains!" This is the view of the Paladins of the Church.

As the final belonging of the undead and dark mages, the liches who are left with only skeletons often have a bad reputation, but...

"Smearing is all prejudice! How can individuals be judged because of their race! I have always believed that discrimination and prejudice such as race, skin color, and origin are signs of human stupidity. There is only low-level discrimination and prejudice in the world, and there is no low-level race or skin color. , origin. I am such a good person."

"If you are considered a good person like this, then those bloodthirsty undead in the east of the city are considered saints?"

"I can't say that the saints, everyone is a cold-hearted pacifist. You see, the dead save a lot of food, and they don't take up space. A cemetery can live in a family. They don't eat or drink, they work hard, they only donate and don't ask for it. Everyone They are all great people."

The half-demon maid was amused. It is said that as long as the whole life is entered, the restricted area of ​​life will come out in pieces. In the eyes of the owner, it is also a gathering place for good people.

"Hehe, Master, you are really joking. Bloodthirsty undead are good people? What about the church priests who are well-received by the citizens in the church district? They will treat the citizens free of charge. They will also distribute free communion every Sunday. Help the poor."

"A group of hypocrites and pedophiles, Eliza, you see, people all have desires and needs, and they are over-repressed. They are not perverts or perverts. Their desire is the original sin, and they must be perverts in private. What do you see? It's no wonder that the old man is so amiable to Mrs. Zheng. There are also those single-celled paladins who go all the way, they are all savages who scream and kill me when they see me!"

"Well, I almost know that the master has fallen ill again. The ancient red dragon in the Sulphur Mountains, known as the calamity of Belon, who once destroyed an empire alone, is probably just a docile little cutie in the eyes of the master."

"No, no, Xiaohong has not paid much attention to her diet recently, and she is a little overweight. If she loses another 20 or 30 tons, reduces her belly, and makes her curves slimmer, it will be even cuter."

"We are the dark elf city management team of Brimstone City, which is famous, maintains public security, and is good at helping others? You should be familiar with them. I have gone to pick you up five times in the past two months."

"...You can ask the unfortunate vendors who were suppressed by them. I basically agree with them. Bah, a bunch of crazy girls. Our Gentlemen's Free Alliance and them are natural enemies."

Shaking her head helplessly, and deliberately ignoring the suspicious organization in the master's mouth, Eliza continued to ask.

"....Our famous hero city lord who once saved the world? He held the banner of equality of all races, and he just established a mixed race in the chaotic dungeon world. There is a pure land in the underground world."

"A patient with severe secondary disease who has been in secondary school for hundreds of years. What age is it, and he still plays the old-fashioned drama of the brave crusade against the devil to save the world. He deserves to be single for the rest of his life."

"...How dare you say that, you have messed up his two weddings, and now they all say that he hit the Lone Star. He was born to kill his parents, came out to fool his brothers, and got married to his wife. So handsome, no girl in Brimstone City dares to accept his proposal."

"...I didn't do it on purpose. As for holding grudges for so long..."

"Isn't it intentional? It was intentional. Not to mention the rumors about the evil star, you let me spread it. You know how many girls were scared to cry when you played undead natural disasters and Hundred Ghosts Night Walk at other people's weddings."

"Didn't I add fun to his wedding? Everyone was just too happy to see that old bachelor finally got married, and came to Duan Baigui's mechanical dance. Who would have known that the little girl of the bride could not help but urinate on the spot. "

Although I said it was not intentional, I was secretly proud of it. "Hmph, we haven't resurrected to have a physical body, how can you comfortably enjoy sex life."

"Sir, you cross your hands and stomp your feet every time you're proud, and now your malice is overflowing. Well, let's not mention your 'great deeds'. Your kind of lich in Broly, the capital of the dead? Those guys? Wanted orders in various countries are counted on a per-call basis, if one goes out, the world will be in chaos."

"...Actually, everyone misunderstands us a bit. Life and death are one thing. We study the mystery of life, isn't it for the world to live a better life? We are actually very good at treatment. In terms of curative effect and sequelae, we are better than priests. Holy light is much better, their holy light seems to be convenient, but in fact it is an overdraft of life span, our life transformation technology is non-toxic, harmless and pollution-free, and it can fundamentally solve the problem at one time."

"...Then why do you still expect the system to revive you, it's not over if you just have a body."

"I don't want to become a deformed monster with three hands and six feet. Even if it is a perfect humanoid, there will be problems sooner or later..."

Seeing that the Lich herself is not at ease with her life transformation technology, what else can Elise say.

"Okay, okay, what am I in your eyes."

"...A ghost mother-in-law with a cold face and a poisonous tongue? A girl with a flat chest?" Of course I wouldn't say it stupidly.

"Oh, Elise, of course you are my most trusted subordinate? We once set a great ideal of conquering the stars and seas together."

"Before you realize your dream of stars, do you remember to pay off the wages that the poor little orphan girl owes for more than ten years?"

Knowing that his master was sick again, the silver-haired half-demon pushed his eyes, cold light flashed in his eyes, and cold words were squeezed out from between his teeth.

"If you are still so rude, your collection is not intended to be..."

"Okay, Elise, I apologize." Thinking of her babies, a certain lich immediately softened.

"Huh." The fallen angel who successfully got off the gauntlet hummed a little tune and walked out the door.

As the housekeeper of this apartment, she doesn't have time to waste time with her master who is ill.

But judging from the opponent's always low tail, it seems that he is not in a good mood.

And it wasn't until she walked out the door, after a while, that I remembered some past memories, so I whispered to myself.

"...Probably, reluctantly, maybe it's family. I still remember that little girl who survived alone in the snowy night among the burning ruins. Bringing you back is the greatest luck in this life, the only thing in this life. Right thing."

Suddenly, a pretty face peeked out from behind the door.

The icy cheeks of the past were red and hot, and the red glow stretched over the long ears that were trembling slightly.

Then, she instigated and disappeared behind the door again.

"Hehe, you know me, but I don't know you? Stupid and evil mother-in-law, even if you are cunning, you should obediently owe me a debt of favor, and be a cow and a horse to my death."

I shouted harshly and laughed smugly, but my mind was a little flustered.

".... was heard! Absolutely heard!!!"