Unrequited Love

Saturday was still full of heavy snow. She went out very early to wait for the bus, but the bus was delayed due to road conditions. She hurriedly reached for a taxi and secretly prayed not to be late along the way.

There were very few pedestrians on campus in the morning. After she entered the door, she walked along the test center route signs posted every ten meters. A girl in a red down jacket ran over to strike up a conversation and asked her if she was also looking for the examination room. The two of them walked together, chatting in a casual manner, and the white breath that was exhaled was instantly swept away by the oncoming wind and snow. Luo Zhi felt in a daze for a moment that the wind had also taken the sound away.

"I am studying tourism management. Our school received a lot of money when enrolling students in this major. I had a university in Ireland-I forgot the name, and I was not famous anyway-I joined the school as soon as I passed the IELTS score of 6 in my senior year. I can go out, study for three years, and directly turn my undergraduate into a double degree. The postgraduate is the one in the Irish university. But I have to be able to pass 6 points. This is my fourth time. The last time was 5.5. I regretted my intestines. I haven't passed Level 4 yet..."

I don't know if it was because of snow, the girl's slightly hoarse voice did not make much noise in the empty campus.

Luo Zhi was distracted, while listening to the girl complaining about her parents being nosy.

"In recent years, everyone knows that going abroad is not as easy to bluff people as it was in previous years. My virtue, plus the Irish University, is just piled up with money, and no one wants it on my resume. I told you My mother said, I returned to the province after graduation, and worked as a lobby manager in the bathing center run by my dad. The lobby manager recruited by Xiaopo places all asked for a master's degree. Isn't this sick?..."

A dark-skinned foreigner ran towards him, short-sleeved T-shirt and thin sports trousers, and smiled at them who were dressed thickly. The eight white teeth formed a sharp contrast with the face.

"Damn, don't tell me, this black guy is so handsome."

As soon as the girl finished speaking, the foreigner who ran over suddenly turned around and replied loudly in Mandarin with Beijing accent: "So so so, thank you!"

Luo Zhi burst into laughter, and the girl beside him returned to frustration after laughing: "My English is definitely not as good as his Chinese."

They said goodbye when they lined up in the sub-examination room. Luo Zhi waved to her and said, "Come on." The girl gave a big grin and looked like she was not afraid of being afraid.

Those who are favored have no fear. Luo Zhi was envious.

After entering the examination room, Luo Zhi adjusted the wireless headset according to the instructions. He restlessly flicked the special egg-laying pencil and eraser that had been placed on the table by the examiner in advance with his fingers. The man next to him seemed to be quite young, he was leaning over and chatting up with a grin: "Little sister, how many times is the exam?"

Luo Zhi has always been a kind-looking person, and he can't help but frown and said, "It's the first exam."

"Oh, it's okay, don't worry, generally you can get better at the second time."

Luo Zhi smiled.

The old British lady who was invigorating the exam had a kindly and warm smile, but when she saw a girl flipping the exam paper in advance, she immediately slapped the table and shouted "You!" The sharp and serious voice scared Luo Zhi into a hole in her heart. , As soon as the hand loosened, the egg pen fell to the ground. The uncle next to her who was born and cooked twice helped her pick it up, and smiled softly and said, "You answered very quickly."

Luo Zhi frowned and ignored.

At the end of the reading test, the examiner asked everyone to put the back of the test paper on the table, and no one was allowed to move. The man next to her kept winking at her, motioning her to turn the paper over and let him copy two pens—she turned her head to the other side indifferently.

She was the third candidate during the oral exam in the afternoon. Sitting at the door and waiting quietly, she met the candidate who came out in front.

"Be careful, Indian." The frustrated examinee dropped his shoulders and left.

Luo Zhi's scattered spirit gathered urgently.

It turned out to be a very dark-skinned Indian female examiner, but when the other person spoke, it turned out to be a beautiful voice. Luo Zhi was really taken aback, but felt like good news from the sky, and the whole person was excited. Both people spoke as fast as a debate meeting, but they had a pleasant conversation.

Luo Zhi’s voice had returned to normal, but now he couldn’t bear it anymore. He became a little hoarse, and always cleared his throat before speaking.

The examiner said, I have one last question:

"Why do memories sometimes differ from facts?"

Luo Zhi opened his mouth and laughed blankly.

She lowered her head and thought for ten seconds in silence, then raised her face and slowly said, "Perhaps it is some kind of self-protection. The facts are bad enough, why bother to embarrass yourself when remembering."

The answer is arbitrary and emotional, but lacks logic. The examiner was stunned for a few seconds, and then gave her an extremely bright smile.

Luo Zhi sighed heavily at that moment. In such a sober day, everything is so real, the table, the chair, the rough touch, the dim luster-this kind of reality reflects all the treasures in her memory absurdly. Is everything in the past real or whitewashed?

It was already three in the afternoon when I walked out of the examination room. She didn't know when the snow stopped, but the road traffic became more congested. She could only walk slowly along the road on fresh snow. In a short while, the biting cold wind froze the tip of her nose and lost consciousness.

She suddenly remembered that she hadn't switched on the phone after the exam. Soon after the screen turned on, the phone began to vibrate continuously. Luoyang, Zhang Mingrui, Belle, mother... Many people sent her text messages asking about the exam situation, and even Xu Riqing, presumably Zhang Mingrui told her. Luo Zhi felt very warm in his heart and replied while walking with his head down. A call came in a few minutes later, it was my mother.

"Lolo, the exam is over?"

"Just out of the exam room, your call is really timely."

"Telepathy." Mom smiled on the other side of the phone, "How about?"

"very good."

"By the way, do you have a holiday for Christmas?"

"What holiday do we have for Christmas, do you think I am at Harvard?"

"The Aunt Fu I mentioned to you last time said that she has a relative who works in the railway bureau. If you come back around Christmas, you can buy a platform ticket and get on the train and then make up for the sleeper student ticket. When you return to Beijing, you With Aunt Fu and the others, she doesn’t have to take the down vests to you. You can just send them to the subway, do you understand?"

Luo Zhi could only smile grimly at this insulting narrative: "Understand, understand."

Mother talked to her about how to find the train conductor, the time and the number of trains, and then asked her if she had any important courses, and she said it for a long time before putting down the phone.

December 24 is Saturday. Luo Zhi plans to get on the bus on Friday morning, skip politics and physical education, and return to school on Sunday night.

December 24 this year is the fifteenth anniversary of my father.

Luo Zhi couldn't remember the funeral scene a bit. From his home to the crematorium, he met countless strange relatives along the way. During the lengthy and complicated ceremony, she just kept crying, and only one aunt was in charge of taking care of herself wearing heavy filial piety.

She just needs to cry. The child’s grief is pure and simple. You only need to see a dad who is not moving, pale and cold, and you only need to hear the phrase "Dad will never come back" to cry. In the dark, until tired, calm for a while, rest, be mentioned a few more words, cry again...

Anyway, there will be many people squatting down to hold her and say "the child who is struggling." She can keep crying.

But somehow, she suddenly raised her head in the arms of her aunt. There was also heavy snow on the day of the funeral, which was even bigger than this one.

Snowflakes are fragments of the sky.

She opened her eyes wide and watched the snow gradually grow from scratch and then fell into her eyes, freezing her tears. That kind of depression and grandeur suddenly stopped the little Luo Zhi from choking, but turned to look at the mother in the crowd. Her lips were white and trembling. She was smashing a mud pot but she couldn’t break her several times. .

She knew that the difficult days had just begun.

At that moment, the sorrow worsened, and the ignorant sorrow and tears of the child passed.

Just put down the phone, the phone vibrated again.

This time it was Sheng Huainan.

"End of IELTS?"

"Oh, that's alright."

If the same greeting comes from someone else, she will smile and say "thank you", and if it comes from him, she will be very moved. Human hearts are always biased.

"Generally, even if people do well in the exam, they will only say, ‘Well, that’s it, it’s okay.’ You are sincere." Sheng Huainan’s voice was very bright.

"Really." Luo Zhi was not in the mood to argue.

Sheng Huainan paused, then asked, "Have you gone back to school?"

"On the road. The snow is too thick and traffic jams again. I walked back. Fortunately, Beiyu is not far from our school."

"I'll pick you up."

"There is a traffic jam here, only helicopters can come over, how do you pick it up?"

"Oh, yes." Sheng Huainan smiled, a little embarrassed, and did not speak for a long time. Luo Zhi didn't wear gloves, his fingers stiffened quickly, but she didn't urge.

"Is it cold?" he asked.

"Ok."

"Did you wear gloves?"

"Ok."

"Hang up the phone. Have your cold gone? Your throat is still a bit dumb. Put your hand in your pocket to warm it up. I wish you good grades."

"thank you."

Luo Zhi put the cold cell phone back in his schoolbag. The intersection ahead is chaotic, and pedestrians move freely through the cracks of vehicles. She stared blankly for a while, then lowered her head to continue walking.

No matter how badly hurt you are, you can survive as long as the other person asks "Does it hurt?"

The oncoming wind blew away the smile left on her face.