Why Can’t I Play Games

year 2006!

January 1.

It's snowing in the beautiful Los Angeles.

Looking at the snowflakes outside the window, Joe Roy fell into unprecedented anxiety.

Although Apple's mobile phone sales are good, it is still advancing with a hot attitude of more than 15,000 units per day.

However, Phelps's mobile phone sales did not decrease due to the impact of the Apple 3 series, but gradually moved to keep pace with the Apple 3 mobile phones.

The sales volume in one day was maintained at around 10,000!

Moreover, what's even more terrifying is that because of the open source code of Phelps' Android system, mobile phone manufacturers in China and even around the world seem to have a tendency to join in.

At the same time, according to the news he has received so far, he found that Tong Wei, who came from China, is traveling to major cities in the old and beautiful cities almost every day, sharpening his sword and preparing to open a store, which is all right, but the place he chose was changed from the previous "Nokia". "Beside the store, it was replaced by their Apple Technology store, and a banner was written next to the store that read "Iphone can't be carried, Universe Mall, but Android system can"!

What is even more speechless and helpless is that half of the popularity of Phelps' mobile phone is due to the impact of the mobile phone's own publicity and various activities of the carrier, and the other half is due to the games of the universe platform!

FUCK! Recently, each of the games produced by the universe platform has been blown up in major social circles, and the topics are full...

Whether it's "Crazy Pipe Bird", "Crazy Mario", or even games that insult people's IQ like "Mountain Simulator", they have all been hit on the hot search!

There was even a video of a street interview that went straight to the homepages of major portals!

What's even more exaggerated is that Laomei's UC game company has put such a headline on the homepage in a grand manner!

"The era of mobile games has begun..."

"Some of the stand-alone games under UC have reached an agreement with Cosmos Technology to jointly research the Cosmos Technology Mall embedded in the "Phelps" mobile phone! In the near future, everyone only needs to play Phelps on their mobile phones. It's game!"

"..."

This set of crazy combos caught Joe Roy off guard!

For no reason, there is a sense of danger that is surrounded and suppressed.

UC Corporation!

Joe Roy remembered an incident in early 2005 last year!

The top executive of UC company, Rocky, has personally come to Apple Technology, and talked to him about the game implanted in Apple Computer, hoping to develop it together with Apple Computer...

But later, Apple Technology finally chose the largest game giant in the United States, "Tyrannosaurus."

Definitely choose Tyrannosaurus!

Tyrannosaurus Rex's "Warcraft of Warcraft" became the No. 1 online game in Laomei as soon as it was released in Laomei. When it entered China, it became popular among thousands of Chinese players!

In contrast, UC companies, although they also have some of their own online games with a lot of traffic, they basically focus on agency games and stand-alone games.

Stand-alone games can't really cause much trouble on the Internet, and the proportion of players is also inferior to online games. Moreover, in terms of overall strength, no matter in terms of capital or company history, it cannot compare with Tyrannosaurus Technology!

Naturally, it was not the first echelon choice chosen by Joe Roy.

However, no one would have imagined that since Zhang Yang's several games entered Laomei Games, the traffic of UC company once skyrocketed, even reaching an astonishing level!

At this moment, Joe Roy realized that he had miscalculated!

The performance of mobile phones will indeed account for the proportion in the future, but as long as mobile phones can run mobile games, I am afraid that mobile games will also be a big trend!

Joe Roy's eyes widened!

not good!

wrong!

Just when Joe Roy was shocked, he heard a knock on the door.

Then...

"Mr. Joe Roy, the universe mall has updated the game again!"

"what game!"

""Thief Simulator"!"

"What?"

"..."

When Joe Roy heard "Thief Simulator", his whole body buzzed.

Cosmos Technology can really update a new game in two days?

Where did their ideas come from?

Why do they have a feeling of madness?

Thief Simulator?

Could it be this kind of mind-boggling game again?

Before Joe Roy could react in speechlessness, he heard the voice of the assistant with a tangled expression...

"Mr. Joe Roy..."

"What's wrong!"

"There is a scene in the promotional poster of the game, it seems, um, very similar to our Apple technology, the only difference is that its trademark is a durian with a gap..."

"What?"

"..."

When Joe Roy heard this, his whole body was shocked. When he took the assistant's notebook, he instantly felt that his heart had a problem!

"This person... this person, this person is trying to force us to death!"

"FUCK, tell me, what did we do to this guy?"

"Why does it feel like this guy is targeting us everywhere?"

"..."

……………………

"When everyone is hating the "Crazy Pipe Bird" that was so popular a few days ago, when we were tortured and collapsed by the shit "Crazy Mario"..."

"When we were cursing "Mountain Simulator"..."

"This evil, hateful, satanic, disgusting cosmic technology platform has been updated again!"

"This time, they updated a "Thief Simulator". Judging from the introduction, it allows us to act as thieves in this game and steal other people's houses..."

"Yes, I'm sure, this broken game is for us to act as thieves and steal things!"

"God, how did Cosmic Science and Technology develop such an unqualified game, this game is disgusting to watch!"

"Can an honest person like me play the role of a thief? Impossible, it doesn't exist! I'm a well-known good guy in Los Angeles..."

"but……"

"Hmm... um? Mmm!"

"As a game reviewer, in order to prevent everyone from encountering the same situation as "Mountain Simulator", I'd better download a "Thief Simulator" first and help everyone evaluate it."

"Just try to play, if it is really bad, or if you are cheated by the game... Don't download it, everyone!"

"..."

In early 2006.

Although there are no piles of game anchors ten years later, there is no live broadcast media, and there is no channel for fans to monetize, but many game lovers like to record their games as videos and share them online, so as to accumulate some fans and fans. Identity.

Peter was probably one of such a group of people.

He stumbled into the line, though.

The first video he recorded was "Crazy Pipe Bird".

When "Crazy Pipe Bird" appeared, he was also one of the people who were tossed to death by this game. In one late night, he was tossed and collapsed by "Crazy Pipe Bird" in order to vent his anger, so he defeated himself. The video clips were edited and posted on the Internet again and again, so as to remind players who saw the video not to fall into the pit again!

This is a rubbish game that seduces people's hearts, a rubbish game!

but!

He never expected that this video would become popular!

In the video!

He was so tormented that he yelled exaggeratedly, and couldn't help but want to drop his phone, but he didn't want to drop it. With his disheveled hair, countless netizens came to sympathize, followed him, and praised him one after another!

In one night, the comments on his video actually broke through thousands. What is even more exaggerated is that on the second day, because of the high popularity, his video was recommended on the homepage of the video website...

The account with 0 followers instantly rose to 30,000 followers!

When he woke up the next day, he was so dazed that he couldn't even believe his eyes.

Then, he felt a surprise!

When he saw those new fans strongly requesting him to evaluate "Crazy Mario", he felt an indescribable sense of identity and a sense of mission that he could not try in reality.

then……

With excitement, he made another issue of "Crazy Mario"!

Then!

He broke down!

If "Crazy Pipe Bird" makes you unable to stop playing, then "Crazy Mario" is torture, that is, you self-doubt that you are like a mentally retarded.

Some are full of traps, and it will test your personal micromanagement ability. If you are not careful, the game will have to be restarted!

This game seems to only have three lives, but after you die, your life can be deducted as a negative number for you!

However, the pitiful thing is that the game is not archived!

Yes, as soon as you die, the game has to start all over again.

Of course, you can restart the level when you die, but the premise is that you must be a member of the universe platform.

member……

one dollar!

not much!

rushed!

However, even so, Peter was still tormented in terror, his whole body collapsed to the point of crying, and he smashed the table more than once!

His parents thought he was crazy.

Died again and again, and quickly reached -99 times!

He finally passed the second level!

Only after the recording was finished, he finally came to a conclusion, this is a game that is more cheating than "Crazy Pipe Bird" and is not recommended to play!

After uploading it on the Internet, he slept soundly all day.

The dream is full of scenes of being abused.

But I don't know why, I tortured and laughed.

When he woke up at night and logged on to the video website, he found that his video had been pushed to the homepage of the video website again, and his account fans had increased to 38,000...

At the same time, the countless private messages on his homepage are all sympathy and comfort.

Of course, there is also a group of people gloating and laughing.

Leave a comment below and set a new record!

Peter was pleasantly surprised.

So many people are watching my video?

Then, the following comments asked Peter to evaluate "Mountain Simulator", a game that can make people become Buddhas!

Peter naturally agreed.

Then……

He obeyed the arrangement of the netizens, and after downloading "Mountain Simulator", he made all preparations for the game to torture him!

"Hey, buddy, this is a very popular game in China, you can see things after watching it for five hours..."

"I heard it's a puzzle game..."

"..."

Immediately after...

He stared at the phone screen like a fool all night.

Then!

Nothing at all!

Yes, there is nothing, no matter how much he tosses, there is nothing in this game.

Recording all night, by the dawn of the next day, he felt like he had cerebral palsy.

five hours?

I've been waiting for eight hours and I haven't gotten anything!

He felt that the game and those netizens had deceived his feelings.

In the end, he recorded his stupid behavior and sent it to the Internet, and at the end of the video, he solemnly stated that he would never download any games on the universe platform again in his life!

Two days later on January 1st.

In a fit of cursing, he downloaded Thief Simulator.

Hey, it smells so good!

"Well, I'm helping players to evaluate, to avoid being played by the evil universe platform!"

"Come on, torture me, I'm ready for everything, I even bought tranquilizers!"

"It's impossible for any game to break me!"

"call!"

"I opened this "Thief Simulator", huh? This interface is actually very delicate, much better than the interface of "Crazy Mario"..."

"Huh? This game is surprisingly good, and the graphics are quite exquisite. It's very delicate in mobile games."

"Mission prompt: Go to Durian Technology to steal the Durian mobile phone?"

"..."

When Peter opened the game, he was amazed. The picture quality of this game is very detailed. Although it is not as good as the picture quality of those stand-alone games on the computer, it is much better than ordinary mobile games.

This is very rare!

Moreover, the mode is actually in the first-person mode, people can move with the buttons or click on the screen, and as the first-person game moves, you can see the surrounding scenery...

Although the scene modeling is a bit rough and seems to be rushed out, it is still acceptable.

And the first task Peter received was to go to Durian Technology to steal the Durian mobile phone, and smash the toilet of Durian Technology!

"Durian technology, why is it so similar to Apple technology?"

"Tell me, who can chew half a durian with its skin on?"

"Huh? The environment here is also very similar to the Apple Building?"

"What do you use to smash the toilet? Use an iron rod?"

"I'll take out the iron rod and have a look!"

"Forehead……"

"Let me take a closer look, it does seem like the entrance of Apple Technology, right?"

"Huh? What happened to the security guard?"

"FUCK, why did you come here to beat me for no reason, ah... what's going on here? I'm sick!"

Just as Peter was observing the gate of Durian Technology very seriously, and just as he was pulling out the iron rod to ponder over the task, suddenly, a few security-looking figures rushed over, and without saying a word, they took the electric baton and slammed Peter for a while. electricity!

"Those eyebrows and mouse eyes, one look is a thief!"

"..."

After leaving a curse from China, the word "END" appeared on the game screen!

What the hell?

Peter was dumbfounded.

I just got electrocuted to death?

When Peter came out, he suddenly saw a help prompt in the system.

"This game has a high degree of freedom. Everything you see, cars, forklifts, buses, excavators, as long as you see everything, you can steal it in a specific way without anyone noticing. !"

"Due to the restrictions of the research team, only durian technology dungeons are currently open!"

"Hint: If you are capable, you can not only steal the electric baton from the security guards, but you can even remove the windows of Durian Technology..."

"Did you see the battery car of the security guard? Do you have any idea of ​​stealing the battery?"

"Yes! That's right, everything can be stolen!"

"Have a nice game!"

"..."

Peter stared at the screen.

He is dumbfounded...

(To put it mildly, this chapter is 4,000 words...)