Zhu Bajie turns over Marvel

Everyone knows that Guanghan Palace is on the moon. Bajie flew away in the clouds and saw a double shadow of the moon from a distance.

Is this an illusion due to drinking too much?

A person who drinks too much will not think that he has drunk too much. When he stands on the moon, the ground shakes a little. Is the moon an earthquake? Why is it shaking so rhythmically? The moon is a double image when viewed from a distance.

Bajie swayed with the rhythm of the moon, just like walking on a rickety bridge and swaying unconsciously. When he came to the gate of Guanghan Palace, he saw the fragrant osmanthus trees at the entrance of the palace, the plum branches were strange, and a white marble gate stood in front of him, with a lintel.

There are three official characters in the big book - Jiaofang Palace.

Damn it? Bajie thought he had seen it wrong. He shook his head and rubbed his face, and looked carefully. He was not wrong. It was not Guanghan Palace, but Jiaofang Palace.

Old Zhu, I haven't read much. When did Guanghan Palace become a big hook? Don't let a few Bodhisattvas form a bureau to entertain me. Zhu Bajie was confused and looked around at the door without daring to go in.

After a while, an older fairy came out of the door. She walked coquettishly, shaking her hips three times with each step. Fortunately, she was an accomplished fairy, otherwise her waist would have been broken long ago.

Seeing this MILF approaching, Bajie couldn't help but feel confused. They all said that wine is a matchmaker for sex, and Bajie drinking water has the effect of the little blue pill.

"This benefactor." Bajie bowed lightly to the fairy, habitually using the Buddhist title.

"Hey, oh, oh, I wonder which immortal is so polite, and even chants a Buddhist sentence before taking off his pants. It turns out to be Marshal Tianpeng." The fairy spoke in a seductive manner, with the BGM of a madam.

Zhu Bajie's eyes are glowing green, his smile is lewd, he has a fairy professional fake smile, and his movements are skillful. It is worthy of the Jiaofang Palace, and the image is instantly recognizable.

"Sister, do you recognize me?" Bajie stopped pretending and stretched out his big hand to get some advantage. The old monk could touch it, and so could the pig monk.

"Snapped."

The fairy slapped Zhu Bajie's hands off with a slap (real image). She twisted her expression and giggled fiercely.

"That year, you came to Guanghan Palace after drinking too much. You hugged and hugged people, nibbling and humping them. People thought you were rude, so you screamed loudly, which attracted the angel patrols to arrest you. Then you were arrested by Jade.

The emperor beat him with two thousand hammers and demoted him to the lower realm to become a monster."

When Bajie heard this, his stomach was turbulent, and his heart was full of mixed feelings. It was true that people and things had changed. The cinnabar mole and Bai Yueguang that were in his heart back then were now the madams of the Jiaofang Palace. His first love had fallen to this point, and Bajie sighed endlessly.

"Later, I went to the West with Monk Tang to obtain Buddhist scriptures. Do you know that I was awarded the title of Bodhisattva?" Bajie thought that the messenger from Jingtan was the one who collected swill, so he did not reveal the title and only said that he was a Bodhisattva.

Bajie wanted to show off in front of his old lover, but Chang'e sneered and said:

"I was really envious of you Run going to the West to get the green fruit position, but I heard from the general of the roller curtain that you chant sutras and meditate 996 times every day. You can only sigh to your opponents when you are lonely and bored. You have not seen meat and fish for years. Many monks do not distinguish between red and green. They cannot distinguish between things at night.

I don’t know the gender.”

Chang'e's complaints were so harsh and accurate that she made Bajie feel ashamed. He joined the army in 1949, who can he ask to reason with?

"Fairy, how did Guanghan Palace become Jiaofang Palace?" Zhu Bajie quickly changed the topic and asked the doubt in his heart.

"This matter has to start when you learn the scriptures and obtain the Western Heaven Realm."

"It sounds interesting to me. Fairy, please tell me." As Bajie spoke, he took Chang'e's hand in his and held it in his hand to consider carefully.

Chang'e smacked her twice but didn't take it back, so she let him go. Chang'e's pretty face turned red and her throat swelled. This pig-head is used to serving women. When we meet her tonight, it's time to renew our relationship.

"After you have learned the scriptures, more and more immortals have moved to the West. If this continues, the Lingxiao Palace will be as deserted as the Guanghan Palace. The Jade Emperor is worried and doesn't know what to do.

At this time, Taibai Jinxing gave the Jade Emperor advice, saying that there were many fairies in the sky who yearned for the lower world and enjoyed the love of men and women. There were also immortals in the stars who secretly reincarnated and opened harems in the human world.

Rather than everyone doing this secretly, it is better to let go of this rule of heaven. First, it is better to block than to open up. Second, with the love between men and women, the gods will not be deceived by the Tathagata and go to the West.

The Jade Emperor thought for a long time and ran thirty-three days away to report the matter to the ancestor Hongjun. After the Jade Emperor came back, he changed the Guanghan Palace into Jiaofang Palace, using the awe-inspiring name. For the sake of orthodoxy!

In the past two years, more and more gods have returned to secular life."

Zhu Bajie heard Chang'e say that for the sake of orthodoxy, he took Chang'e's hand and went into the osmanthus forest.

Everything is for the sake of orthodoxy, incense and faith. When Zhu Bajie heard this, he really wanted to slap himself to death. The Heavenly Palace has already liberalized the love between men and women, but only a small number of Buddhas in the West have the right to play double (9) cultivation.

The dispute between Buddhism and Taoism is becoming increasingly fierce. You organize the Western Heaven to seek scriptures, and I will open the hook. Everything is for the sake of the seven emotions and six desires of the gods.

Thinking of the word desire, Bajie has led Fairy Chang'e to the depths of the laurel forest. Chang'e said that she was rude, so let's gain her faith gently this time.

"If you like me like this, I'm still the same."

"I'm tired of the old look. You look pretty good like a pretty widow in your thirties or forties."

Bajie said and joined the group.

...

"Catch Zhu Bajie, catch Zhu Bajie..."

Bajie was preaching and receiving his karma, and the sounds outside the forest came from far to near, and there was a roar in Guanghan Palace.

"Fairy, I beat up two of Buddha's disciples. How about you and I elope to the lower world and become a pair of mandarin ducks with the same fate?"

Chang'e was wondering about the sound coming from outside. When she heard Bajie telling her, she kicked the old pig over: "I am living freely and happily in this sky, a fairy with a jade face and a young general with a white face. It's hard to describe how I feel. Why should I follow suit?"

You idiot, go to the next world."

Chang'e, who was so passionate just now that she could melt a man into a puddle of mud, suddenly changed her face, her eyes were colder than the temperature in Guanghan Palace.

Chang'e saw the idiot in front of her in a daze, and was afraid that she would get angry and hurt someone, so she added: "For the sake of our love, you run away quickly, and I will help you cover up."

Hearing this, Bajie couldn't care less about human feelings. He grabbed the monk's robe, shook the big pendulum and ran away.

Zhu Bajie had just ran about ten steps when he heard a sharp female voice from behind shouting loudly with a voice like tearing metal: "Zhu Bajie is here, Zhu Bajie is here..."

Zhu Bajie secretly cursed a bitch and said he was heartless. He rushed back to the Heavenly Palace in a panic and met many low-level immortal generals along the way. He was naked and raised his nine-tooth rake. The immortal generals did not want to fight to the death and forced Zhu Bajie to break out of the way.

.

"Pan Donkey, Deng Xiaoxian, Zhu Bajie, the idiot, has taken one of his own." King Tota led the Third Prince Nezha without stopping, watching Zhu Bajie run into a dead end.

Zhu Bajie has no way ahead and is pursued by soldiers. He stands by the pool of the past life and thinks about the past and present life. He fights back to the Heavenly Palace. He doesn't have the skills of Monkey King. Maybe Monkey King will come over later and treat him like a monster.

If you are caught, you must hand it over to the West and let the Buddha deal with it. The West is a bunch of small-minded guys. The king of the Wuji Kingdom soaked Manjushri in the river for three days, and Tathagata asked the monsters to sink people into the well and soak them for three years.

Zhu Bajie gave Ananda Kasyapa a good beating. After he returned home, he was not allowed to have cramps and peeled off the skin, and he cooked a pig-killing dish for the Chinese New Year.

Zhu Bajie took a look at the Pond of Rebirth. At worst, the old pig could become a pig demon again. Being a demon in the lower world would be more satisfying than suffering the bird's breath in the sky.

Just as he was about to jump to the living pond, he suddenly saw King Li Tianwang of Tota arriving here. Bajie thought that he should leave some souvenirs for the people seeing off the guests. If I don't feel happy, old pig, you don't want to feel happy either.

"Li Tianwang, I have never heard of a person who has been pregnant for three years. You are so green." In Li Tianwang's constipated expression, Zhu Bajie jumped into the pool of rebirth. The pool was naturally chaotic, without a trace of it.

ripple.

"Send people to the Six Paths and catch this guy. I'll let him know what pig anal fissure is." King Tota said bitterly.

"Dad, are you using the tower?" Nezha saw the dark look on his father's face and thought he was being funny.