Hong Kong variety show starting from zombies

Xiao Zhang is dead, but not completely dead.

Vaguely, he heard some sounds.

"Ah! Dead people! Dead people!"

"Hey, isn't this Xiao Zhang? He's usually so arrogant, why did he die so miserably?"

"Xiao Zhang, a lonely man, suddenly got lucky and wanted to be the son-in-law of the Ren family. He flew up a branch and turned into a phoenix. He died like this. Tsk, tsk, tsk... that's right!"

"Let me tell you, it must have been the cousin of the Ren family who killed him, the cousin of the eldest lady of the Ren family."

"Shh... don't talk nonsense. Didn't you see that there wasn't a drop of blood on this man? It was definitely not caused by humans, zombies, or ghosts."

"I think so, it should be a female ghost, because Xiao Zhang is so good-looking. If I were a female, I would suck him to death even if I became a ghost."

"How to suck it?"

"Get out of the way, get out of the way, Uncle Nine is here."

…

"Master, if he was bitten to death by a zombie, would he also turn into a zombie? Otherwise, let's burn him."

"The Ren family doesn't want it. The eldest lady of the Ren family said that although the two of them are not married and have not gone to the church to get married, after all, they still want him to be buried in peace after their parents ordered him to be a matchmaker."

"Oh, it's all my fault. I should have sent him back at that time. The world is not good, and zombies and ghosts are always prone to appear..."

"Okay, okay, you put him in the coffin and take out the ink fountain. As long as I'm here, he won't turn into a zombie even if his body is buried in the ground."

"Master, what level is this zombie that bit him to death?"

"Purple zombies can't move on their own. When your uncle drives away corpses, he turns the corpses into purple zombies and uses Maoshan magic to control their movement. White zombies and black zombies move slowly and are afraid of sunlight, fire, water, and water. He's afraid of chickens, dogs, and even people. This Xiao Zhang has a gun in his hand, and there was a gunshot last night, so it's not like that."

"Is that the green zombie?"

"The Green Zombie jumps very fast. It is not afraid of people or domestic animals. It is only afraid of the sun. But although the Green Zombie's body is hard and invulnerable, it cannot stop the muskets. I saw the bullets, and they were all deflated, as if they were shot in Just like steel."

"Wow...could it be Mao Zhan?"

"Yes, it should be that the body has black hair growing on it. It is famous for its copper-skinned iron bones. The higher the cultivation level, the stronger the body. It moves quickly, leaps from house to tree, jumps like flying, and starts to move quickly. He is afraid of ordinary fire, and he is not even afraid of the sun, but it will be weakened by the sun. The bullets of the musket cannot penetrate Mao Zheng's body at night."

"Then what should we do, Master? We are not afraid of muskets at night, and we will definitely come out at night..."

"What are you afraid of? Except for the flying zombies that I can't deal with, Master, there is not a single zombie that I can't kill."

"Then I'm relieved. But, Master, are there any zombies more powerful than Fei Zhan?"

"Yes, if Feizong cultivates the immortal bone, absorbs the essence of the sun and moon for thousands of years, and then experiences thunder tribulation, he can become a wandering zombie. The wandering zombie is actually also called the zombie king, and is born from the resentment of the world. Immortal, immortal, immortal, abandoned by the heaven and earth from the six paths of reincarnation, cultivated as a wandering corpse, able to enter and exit the two realms of yin and yang, upstream to the nine heavens, downstream to the netherworld, it can be said that it goes up to heaven and into the earth."

"Then Master, how can you refine the immortal bone?"

"What, do you want to be a zombie, or do you want to go to heaven and earth?"

"Haha, let me ask."

"Master, just talk, I have nothing to do anyway."

"Some parts of a person's body remain incorruptible due to spiritual perfusion after death. The so-called spiritual perfusion is like a worker carrying rice because he has been using his shoulders to exert force. After his death, the area around his shoulders may not decay. The part of the shoulder that cannot be transformed is called the non-transformed bone. If a zombie wants to become a real zombie, he must refine all the parts of his body, including the bones, into non-transformed bones... So the zombie will not only suck blood, but also Absorb people's spiritual will, that is, their souls, and use other people's immortal bones to achieve their own immortality."

"So, by becoming a zombie and constantly eating people and absorbing the essence of the sun and the moon, you can become a wandering zombie? Is that the real zombie king?"

"Where's the thunder tribulation? Didn't I tell you just now that you still have to go through the thunder tribulation. Are you really the world and the gods, would you like to see the Zombie King appear in the world? Although the Zombie King is not the most powerful zombie, but for the gods It’s also a bit troublesome.”

"Master, are there really gods?"

"Yes, although I haven't seen it, but since there are ghosts and zombies, there must be gods as well."

…

When the sound of the suona stopped, Xiao Zhang could no longer hear any sound in his ears.

Only a terrifying silence remained.

"I was bitten to death by a zombie?"

"Am I buried?"

"I may become a zombie. No, the fact that I am still conscious means that I have become a zombie."

"But because Uncle Jiu used an ink fountain to perform Maoshan Taoism on my coffin, I can't escape and can only sink until my consciousness dies?"

"Bah, what Uncle Jiu, that's the enemy."

Although Xiao Zhang has some evil intentions, he is not an unreasonable person.

To be fair, what Uncle Jiu did was considered to be the most benevolent and righteous thing. He was at risk of turning into a zombie, but his body was not burned.

But for things like reasoning, you can only talk to others. How can you talk to yourself?

"Even if I become a zombie, I am still a patriotic zombie."

"Can't you think of a way to turn me into a flying zombie or even a wandering zombie or a zombie king?"

"When the time comes, I will go directly to the island country where Xiaori...zi lived a perverted life, and then turn them all into my zombie descendants. Let them give me an A every day... No, I will let them go mining every day."

"Why? Why don't you believe I can control myself?"

"What happened to the zombies?"

"Aren't zombies humans?"

"Do zombies have no human rights?"

"It's the Republic of China, but there is still such discrimination in society. When will we zombies really stand up?"

"I hate it so much. I finally managed to get into the Ren family, but I didn't even get the hand of the eldest lady of the Ren family before I died."

"I hate it so much. The armed team I finally assembled is about to be taken away without even firing a shot. Maybe it will have to deal with the people I want to help."

"I hate it so much. I have so many good ways to do business and I can make a lot of money. I know so many people who will be successful in the future. I can completely turn them into my subordinates when they are young. I obviously Have the opportunity to learn Maoshan Taoism and start the era of zombie soldiers."

"But I'm going to die like this?"

"I feel so hateful! I feel so unwilling to accept it! I am wronged!"

Like the consciousness sealed in the body, the resentment is getting stronger and stronger.

Although the body infected with zombie poison had been placed in a coffin and buried in the soil, it had not started to decay.

It's as if bacteria can't grow.

A small sound appeared.

A fiery-red snake that had taken over its nest came back unwillingly and got in from the grave.

The cheap coffin blocked the snake's path, causing it to burn a hole through it with a breath of flames.

Perhaps because the flame consumed too much power, the little red snake got in a little listlessly.

kindness?

Meat?

Pooh!

So hard.

Poison you to death!

After injecting the poison through its fangs, the snake turned around and left along the hole it burned without looking back.

But the hole it left was not directly blocked by soil.

When the moon is at its zenith, a beam of moonlight shines into it.

When the sun rose three poles high the next day, a beam of sunlight shone into it.

Until the wind and rain came, the entrance to the cave was finally blocked by soil, but due to drought, this state has lasted for a month.

Xiao Zhang, who had been lying in the coffin and cursing for a month, felt that the last hope to support his consciousness was blocked by this thief God.

The resentment reached a climax.

There was a bang.

It was an explosion from the depths of consciousness.

"Creak..."

Xiao Zhang's hand scratched the inner wall of the coffin, leaving five black dents wherever his nails passed, as if they had been eroded by venom or burned by fire.

He can move.