How Am I Still Alive?

As a mixed blood of the Phosphorus tribe, Catherine T. Dora can only be regarded as just entering the youth.

But she is already a success.

Born as a commoner, she easily survived the test of blood with a high mortality rate. Every year, other holy fire knights go through various torments, but she easily acts as if she does not feel threatened.

"Perhaps I'm a little different."

Catherine is a little proud, a little proud, but not taking it for granted.

The teachings of the sun god and the temple, as well as the edification of knight virtues, let him always stick to the bottom line of morality and responsibility, and sympathize with the poor people who came from the same background as himself.

".Even my origin, is it a lie?"

Walking down the passage, Catherine looked calm, but her heart was full of ups and downs.

As she goes deeper step by step, she can feel the memory of her past being awakened, and she has been here more than once.

"Dead end?"

Down the passage, into a small room, there is only a statue of a nun praying with her eyes closed.

"... He will return eventually."

Catherine touched the praying hands of the nun statue, and whispered the code word in memory. The next moment, the clicking sound of the mechanism sounded again, and the downward wall opened.

And the companions around her, the knights, were even more wary of her.

Suspect? disturbed? alert? As far as how the knights treated heretics and heretics in the past, it is normal for them to be violent now and cut off their own heads.

Even Catherine herself was full of doubts and puzzled why the memory was so clear. Why did she have no memory of such a clear memory before!

This is not normal, this is not normal!

The knights stood vaguely on the left, right and behind her, their arms holding the sword were unabashedly defensive, and they would attack immediately if she made any abnormal movements.

She smiled bitterly, even she herself might not dare to trust herself and her own memory.

Such precautions are natural, but as a pious knight who dedicates most of his life to the Knights, it is inevitable that he will feel sad and even heartbroken.

"Why are you so serious? Even if this girl is a cultist, it's okay. At this point, what's the difference between a true god believer and a cultist?"

The blasphemous words came from behind.

The young man from Outland smiled and spoke extremely profane words of the evil god. Even Catherine, who was protected by him, as a devout Sun God believer, was subconsciously outraged.

How could there be no difference between cultists and devotees of the Sun God? ! that difference.

But at the next moment, some believers were still furious. As long as the leader gave an order, they would like to tear the blasphemer into pieces.

But some insiders, after thinking about it, it seems that there is really not much difference.

Aren’t they all poor wretches struggling to survive in the last days, now that the sun god is gone, if the stories about the beast god are true, maybe the believers of the beast god are more trustworthy, at least, their god is a master war faction.

"...No matter what, we are partners now. Knights, trust your compatriots." Knight Benn spoke, and the other knights should give him face no matter what.

The eyes behind her were a little safer, and Catherine breathed a sigh of relief, and she turned more attention to the dark passage below.

"...An outsider, actually trusts me more than my partner? What an irony."

The woman's smile was full of bitterness, but at the same time, a voice suddenly sounded in her mind.

【Hee hee, maybe it's that man who's taken a fancy to you. Haven't you already been packaged and given to him by the lord? Isn't it a matter of course that he maintains his property? 】

"who!!"

Catherine roared violently, looking left and right.

But the strange thing is that everyone around her looked at her in surprise, as if she had suddenly lost her nerve.

【Hee, don't look, they can't hear you.】

Catherine had a stiff face, but she was sweating profusely. She wanted to shout and act, but she couldn't do anything.

The feet are still moving down, but the mouth has grown again.

"...Maybe I'm nervous, I always feel that someone is watching us."

This is true, but it is not what "Catherine" said.

She was very anxious, very anxious, she felt that everything was wrong, but she couldn't say anything.

She was like an outsider, watching her actions, while telling how she was brought here by her parents when she was a child, and her parents suffered bad luck and unfortunately died of an infectious disease.

"No, no, my parents are not dead, they are still living well in the country!" Catherine tried to open her mouth, but couldn't say anything.

[Idiot, don't say that, how do you lower your doubts. 】

That giggling laughter was still in my ears, as if it was in my head.

[Don't worry, don't worry, I won't hurt you, how could I hurt you]

"Who are you?!"

As if her soul had been pulled out of her body, Catherine was full of fear and hesitation, but she was powerless to resist.

【I? 23 years old this year, lives on the 2nd floor of No. 23 Winter Street, an ordinary knight who likes dolls and cooking, Catherine T. Dora. 】

The laughing voice in her mind shocked and frightened Catherine, and the more this voice described "Catherine"'s hobbies, hobbies, and first love that ended before it even started, the more frightened she became ,disturbed.

"Ridiculous! You, you are Catherine?! Then who am I? I am I am"

The original anger, as the anger vented, gradually turned into confusion.

At that moment, she hesitated, she suddenly remembered something, it was a memory from the past.

At that time, I was still young, and my personality was far more lively and active than when I received knight training. Yes, it was just like that voice, happily looking forward to the future, and happily enjoying the love of my parents

"Catherine, next, you are going to infiltrate the Knights, so we will seal your memory."

The honest and generous father had a frivolous smile at this time, and the magic seal on his hand was complicated and difficult to understand.

What's even more incredible is my own smile. That's not me at all, that indifferent and happy smile is not me at all!

"But don't worry, as long as you reach the time when the mission starts and contact the message of our Lord again, this seal will be broken naturally"

In the past, the loving and peaceful mother narrated her devotion to the gods, and used a knife to engrave symbols one by one on her forehead.

"Catherine, our daughter, when you touch this holy seal again, the seal will naturally be lifted. At that time, you will naturally remember who you are and your mission in this life."

[Yes, mother. 】

"Yes, High Priest."

Finally, the two voices agreed again.

Opening her eyes again, the female knight was no longer confused.

This is not some sorcery such as resurrection or possession, and there is no so-called second personality. Just like the voice in the brain said, she is Catherine, and the female knight is also Catherine. There is no difference.

What determines an individual's self-awareness? There may be many answers, but memory is definitely the core component of personality. What we have experienced in the past determines what will happen to us in the future.

When little Catherine was still young, she used the "sealing technique" to seal almost all her memories, and became a devout Sun Cultist with a sufficiently blank identity.

Her belief in the sun god is absolutely true, so she can withstand the constant test of the holy fire.

And her belief in the beast god is also true, it is the cornerstone of personality cultivated since childhood, and it is the only pursuit of life determined by the entire cultist family, praying day and night, and studying.

"A little headache."

At this time, in the female knight's mind, the two memories before the age of twelve and after the age of twelve have completed the fusion. It is nothing more than a person who has experienced two completely different lives.

She hesitated and hesitated, what should she do now, the gap between the situation and the moment she was lurking is already too big.

Beast God believers sent her to infiltrate the local Knights and Yangyan Church to prepare for the resurrection of the Beast God one day, but now, as the prophecy becomes reality, is the "resurrection" in the prophecy really a resurrection? Is the one that came back to life really the original Beast God?

The piety and belief in the past did not interfere with her judgment, the experience of becoming a holy fire knight, and the knowledge acquired along the way, let her know that the delusion of her parents and the whole family has become a joke, and the dead beast god is just a dangerous fragment. Meat only!

Just like that dangerous Bone Wolf King, that crawling Beast God is definitely not the little God of War in the past, and that will become a big trouble for the whole world. It is definitely not a good thing to release it early.

"At this point in time, what is the difference between true god believers and cultists?"

At this time, Lu Ping'an's words flashed through her mind.

". Live for yourself."