Maybe a Fake Gintama

In a 100-yen second-hand store in Edo.

"Screw! Pick whatever you want! I can buy you whatever you want!" Jiang Cheng patted his chest and said to Yue Yong who was standing behind him outside the store.

However, just after he finished speaking, Jiang Chengcheng noticed something was wrong, because Yue Yong looked a little strange, with his head lowered and no expression on his face, and he remained silent.

"That..." Jiang Cheng, who thought of something, quickly explained, "Yueyue, you know that all my money is bought for games or taken by Kagura. This kind of store is already the limit! But gifts are not distinguished for high or low! I always think so! Sasa, pick whatever you want, everything here is only one hundred yuan! For the sake of buying me this 20,000 yuan game, I can let you choose two! This is the limit!"

After Jiang Cheng finished speaking, there was another period of silence for more than half a minute.

"That," Jiang Cheng said with a hasty smile, "it's really the limit... Can you say something, I'm a little scared when you look like this."

"Hmm..." Yue Yong sounded like a mosquito, and then mechanically and slowly stepped into the door of the shop with the same hands and feet.

"Have you been fascinated by an idol group that dances mechanically recently?" Jiang Cheng complained expressionlessly.

"Guest, how about this?" The store manager, who is in his fifties and is about to become a boomerang with one missing front tooth, said while holding a milky white chopstick.

"Hey, did you mention chopsticks just now? You obviously said chopsticks! It must be very hard to change your words temporarily!" Jiang Chengbai complained frantically with his eyes wide open.

"I can fall in love with this engagement hairpin... Miss Chopsticks really has a good eye. It has a lot of background." The boss who was wearing reading glasses forced the chopsticks into Yue Yong's hands.

"Hey, why did you change it back again!" Jiang Chengbai complained vigorously, "What are engagement chopsticks? I've never heard of such a thing! And don't chopsticks come in pairs? Why is there only one of these!"

"There is a reason for this," the store owner sighed, shook his head and explained in a deep voice, "This chopstick was used by Toyotomi Hideyoshi to warm Nobunaga's feet in the cold winter, in order to make a microwave oven that can heat straw sandals, and to eat hot pot in the winter morning. And the other chopstick was thrown away because it fell into the hot pot."

"It has nothing to do with it at all! By the way, why do you eat hot pot in the morning? Why is it a microwave?" Jiang Chengbai yelled, "With hot pot, there is no need to warm Nobunaga's feet, right? Wouldn't it be better to just invite him to eat hot pot? After eating, his whole body will be warmed up!"

"ah,

In fact, I misremembered." The store manager pushed the glasses on his face and continued, "This chopstick is actually the chopstick used by Zhuge Liang and others when they watched the burning boats in the river and listened to the cries of Cao Cao's soldiers while eating hot pot during the Battle of Chibi. "

"Don't think that making up this kind of story can increase its value! It's basically useless chopsticks! And there's only one!"

"In short, our store is discounted now, and you can get this engagement chopstick for only 1,000 yuan." The shop owner ignored Jiang Cheng's words, and continued on his own, "If you add another 100 yuan, I will personally pick up another chopstick from the hot pot, wash it, and give it to you."

"Are you the one who dropped the chopsticks into the hot pot?!" Jiang Chengbai retorted angrily, "Are these chopsticks just the chopsticks you use to eat hot pot?! Isn't it a hundred yuan shop? Why do you want a thousand yuan? Think I'm an idiot?! Give me a discount, two fifty yuan is enough!"

"Customer, you have bargained too hard. You can get a 50% discount at most." The shop owner replied, "But you are only responsible for fishing out, and there is no free washing service."

"Ten yuan, wash me well with disinfectant!" Jiang Cheng said sternly.

"Three hundred yuan! Give me a pair of... no, it's Nobunaga's torn sandals!" The shop owner didn't give in at all.

"Five yuan! Flush your straw sandals down the toilet! Immediately!"

"One hundred yuan! It's the limit! You can give me at most an antique loincloth that Cao Cao has worn for thirty years!"

"No loincloth, fifty yuan is my last line!" Jiang Cheng's expression became serious, "Otherwise we... will go to the next one. As far as I know, there are not only 100 yuan stores in Edo~"

"You boy!" The store owner frowned, with a look of unbearable expression, "I can't help it, it's all about this, okay!"

...

At four o'clock in the afternoon, on the way back to Yoshiwara.

"That, is it really okay?" Jiang Cheng asked Yue Yong, who lowered his head and remained silent all the time, "Is it really okay to use those dirty chopsticks that smell old even if they have been sterilized? If you don't like them, you can throw them away. You may be infected with some kind of virus after using those chopsticks."

"Yes... yes... yes." Yue Yong lowered her head and replied softly.

"Well, wait for me a moment," Jiang Cheng who suddenly noticed something stopped, turned and walked to the other side, "I'll be back soon."

Three minutes later, Jiang Cheng, who was holding a small octopus ball in his hand, came to Yue Yong's side, and handed the lunch box to Yue Yong.

"Eat it, it's the compensation just now." Jiang Cheng said casually.

"Oh... um." Yue Yong took the lunch box from Jiang Cheng's hand, and asked in a low voice, "How...how...how...how?"

"What?" Jiang Cheng looked at Yue Yong suspiciously.

"Chopsticks...no, how about hairpins?"

At this time, Jiang Cheng discovered that Yue Yong tied the two chopsticks on his head as hairpins.

"Very good." Jiang Cheng responded casually.

【Date... Date! This is dating! 】Yueyong lowered her head and thought while walking, 【This is the date that Rilun talked about at breakfast today! Men and women shop together, give each other gifts, and eat together! The next thing is to watch a movie, and...]

Thinking of this, Yue Yong raised her head and looked at Jiang Cheng in disbelief, 【This man... what happened today? ! Does he...really...really want to do that with me? ! How to do how to do? ! What should I do in this situation? ! 】

"Oh! There is actually a re-screening of the first and second part of "Transformers" today! It only costs 150 yuan to watch the two together, and you will get free popcorn and a large glass of Coke!" Jiang Cheng, who suddenly saw the poster posted by an old movie theater by the roadside, was instantly attracted, then turned his head and shouted excitedly, "Yueyue! Can I go back later today? Can I watch this?!"

【Late... go back later! This man, today...does he really have that kind of plan today? ! 】Yue Yong's pupils suddenly shrank, and she looked at Jiang Cheng in disbelief.

"Yes." Yue Yong replied lightly, but there was a different scene in her heart, 【You can be tall! Am I an idiot? ! Why did you say that! I'm obviously not ready yet! 】

...

This dilapidated movie theater has only one screening hall, and it is very old. There are no staff... except for the unmotivated and polite little guy who is lying on the window at the door while chewing gum and selling tickets.

The ground of the projection hall is also full of all kinds of litter, and there are even a few useless people who can be called garbage sleeping soundly on the seats.

"Hey, little brother, you guys are going to watch the movie too!" Hasegawa, who was holding a wine bottle, greeted Jiang Cheng.

"The little brother who gave me wine last time, Saxi ignored me." Uncle Musashi, who was also sitting in a certain seat holding a bottle of wine, shouted drunkenly at Jiang Cheng.

"That..." Jiang Cheng, who sat down in a certain seat with a Coke and popcorn, asked Yue Yong who was beside him expressionlessly. "Why did you come along? Do you... like robots too?"

"Mmm...um." Yue Yong, who was completely immersed in her own world, lowered her head and shrugged in response.

"Is that so?! Do you like robots too?!" Jiang Cheng said pleasantly, "I obviously didn't show it before! Then, keep quiet and watch movies! The first two are my favorite!"

"Hmm..." Yue Yong, who couldn't hear what Jiang Cheng was saying at all, responded again.

...

At ten o'clock in the evening, Jiang Cheng came out of the movie theater wiping his tears, behind him was Yue Yong who lowered his head and said nothing.

"It's... so touching!" Jiang Cheng cried with tears, "Even in such a dirty and disgusting movie theater, it's still so touching! Romantic! Huge transforming robots are always romantic for men! Yueyue, you understand?! If you also like robots, you should understand, right?!"

"Uh...um." Yue Yong replied again.

"Well, I always feel that something is wrong with you today." Jiang Cheng asked suspiciously, "There are very few surprises today, is it really okay? Is there something wrong with your body? Do you want to take a rest before going back?"

【rest! This is it! The sun wheel said it in the morning! That's what men usually use to lure women into places like that when they're dating, and then move on to the next step! 】Yue Yong thought to himself, 【Oops! In this case...]

"Then... let's take a break..." Yue Yong lowered her head and whispered back.

[What am I talking about! If you do that kind of thing with this kind of man, it's over! Not only... but life is over! 】Yue Yong scolded herself for not living up to expectations.

"You...couldn't it be...the one coming?" Jiang Cheng leaned closer, pinching his chin and looking at Yue Yong's face suspiciously.

[Is this... a confirmation of what? ! Always thought this man was... a vegetarian, but turned out to be a meat eater? ! The situation has become more and more passive. If this continues, he may really take the initiative! no! I...will fight back! At least, I want to take the final initiative! 】

"Yueyue?"

"I'm fine, but you, you won't suddenly fall asleep or something?" Yue Yong glanced at Jiang Cheng lightly, and said coldly.

"Huh? Why do I have to sleep? Today is not the middle of the month." Jiang Cheng showed a strange expression.

【Parried! This man... cannot be underestimated! In other words, this man thinks he has the initiative all day today, so he can take the initiative until the end as a matter of course! horrible! This man is really scary! I've never discovered that he has such a side before! Was it hidden by him? ! But, I can't lose! Never lose! The best coping strategy at this time is…]

"Don't think too much, I'm just worried that Nite, who stays in the room every day to play games, won't be able to keep up with his physical strength." Yue Yong held the cigarette stick, turning her face away to show a disdainful expression.

"Huh?! Who are you underestimating? Do you think I'll get tired after walking a few steps? I'm not a brat." Jiang Cheng clasped his hands and snorted softly, saying angrily.

[He didn't even give an inch! ! 】Yue Yong is not well, thinking in her heart, 【This man...】

"Why didn't you talk again?" Jiang Cheng asked suspiciously, "Ah, no, you are really super weird today. What's wrong with you? Are you upset with me? Are you upset that I bought you such a gift in return? It has nothing to do with me, right? You said what you didn't like at the time, and didn't I compensate you? Isn't that little ball just compensation? Why..."

【Well, forget it, facing such a man, I can't stand it at all... Now that things have happened, there is only one way...】

Thinking about it, Yue Yong took out several kunai from his body, and before Jiang Cheng could react, they all stabbed hard on Jiang Cheng's head.

"Okay, that's enough. Your condition is really not good today." Yue Yong dragged Jiang Cheng, who was lying on the ground, rolling his eyes and still twitching, by the collar, and started walking towards Yoshihara.

"Did I...do something bad?" Jiang Cheng, who was no longer conscious, murmured, "Why...why do you treat me like this..."

...

The next morning, Yoshihara.

Jiang Cheng, with a thick bandage wrapped around his head, sat at the dining table and stared at Yue Yong opposite.

"Hey, can you explain now? Why did you treat me like that yesterday? I passed out because of excessive blood loss."

"It's just that you are unhappy." Yue Yong, who was chewing slowly, replied lightly.

In an instant, several blue veins popped up on Jiang Cheng's face, "Huh?! What do you mean by being upset?! I'm also very upset! I'm also very upset when someone pierced my head with holes all over it! Do you want to fight?! Bastard! Ah!"

"Keep quiet while eating, bad-ass chai nit."

"Although I don't know what it means, but I do feel the contempt in your words..." The veins on Jiang Cheng's forehead seemed to burst out, "Hey, stinky woman, I will never endure you again today..."

Before Jiang Cheng finished speaking, several kunai were hit on his forehead again.

"I'm full." After saying something softly, Yue Yong got up and dragged Jiang Cheng's back collar who was lying on the table and rolled his eyes because of Kunai, turned around and walked towards the door, "We're going to patrol."

"They...it's like this every day." Qingtai pouted silently.

"Yes, but maybe for that child, this way of getting along is more used. Of course. It must be the same for that man."

Rilun replied with a smile, then turned his head to look at the back of Yue Yong who had gone away, and saw that there were two milky white and clean chopsticks on Yue Yong's head that were used as hairpins...