Please ask me to be the emperor

What do you think Zhang Shunjiao and Cao Wenzhao are capable of?

It turns out that when this guy was young in his previous life, he found a magazine called "Martial Arts" or "Jianghu" at an old bookstall, and read about a technique called "Iron Crotch Kung Fu".

In fact, it is the aftermath of the "Qigong craze" in the 1980s and 1990s. Although the limelight had long passed when Zhang Shun was in school, when he saw it said that it "can cure impotence, premature ejaculation, spermatorrhea and other diseases", "one can resist blows, and the other can strengthen yang" and so on.

In fact, Zhang Shun doesn't care whether he can resist the blow or not, but it is great to be able to "strengthen the yang".

So, he practiced secretly, but without comparing before and after, he didn't know whether it had any effect.

Now that Cao Wenzhao has come to ask, he must show off his housekeeping skills and teach them.

Zhang Shun smiled and said: "The martial arts passed down in my family should have been practiced by children. Once the skills are mastered, the Yang can be withdrawn into the abdomen without fear of blows. However, General Cao has already matured his muscles and bones, so he is absolutely unable to do it. What's more, This is a trivial skill, even if you master it, it will be of little use."

Cao Wenzhao became anxious when he heard this. "It's useless if you practice it," so why do you use it?

"But there is no need to be nervous, General Cao. My strong boy skills are divided into hard skills and soft skills. If you can't practice this hard skills, we can still practice this soft skills! Once the soft skills are completed, they will be as hard as iron and can break through anything." !”

After that, Zhang talked to Cao Wenzhao in detail, and Cao Wenzhao was so fascinated that he wished he could practice on the spot.

After finally remembering it, Cao Wenzhao hurriedly said goodbye to Zhang Shun and left.

After Cao Wenzhao left, Liu Rushi went to put away the tea cups, and then asked strangely: "Why did General Cao leave in such a hurry? I saw that he went into the alley to talk to me just now, but now he is in a hurry !”

Zhang Shun smiled and said a few words to her, and Liu Rushi couldn't help but blush and spat, laughing and scolding: "I'm not ashamed to say such nonsense to me!"

Zhang Shun quickly said seriously: "It's not that I'm not serious. Although this topic is indeed a bit unfair, his matter is serious after all. I was just asking you to help me write the prescription and fool Cao Wenzhao. Fan!"

"Why do you want to fool around with something serious?" Liu Rushi was a little curious.

"Of course!" Zhang Shun responded decisively, "Sometimes whether it succeeds is a matter of luck, and whether it succeeds or not is a matter of attitude! There is a problem with this attitude, and the conflict will escalate."

"I don't understand what you are talking about." Liu Rushi curled her lips and said disdainfully, "If you talk about poems and songs, I can help you a lot. But if you talk about prescriptions, you have to ask my wife!"

Not long after, Li Xiang came. Without saying a word, he instructed Liu Rushi to grind the ink, and she wrote in one direction. Then, Li Xiang said to Zhang Shun: "Order someone to capture this medicine, grind it into powder, combine it with honey, and make it into pills!"

Zhang Shun looked down and saw the five medicinal herbs written on it: "Lycium barbarum, dodder, schisandra, raspberry, and plantain."

Zhang Shunqi said: "Will this medicine work? I think my wife doesn't even have time to read the medical books, so don't cause trouble!"

Zhang Shun still has a good idea of ​​Li Xiang's level. This is just a double sword. If it kills Cao Wenzhao, it will be a big joke.

Li Xiang knew that he was worried, so she couldn't help but roll her eyes at him and said: "This recipe was originally a fairy recipe presented by Zhang Guolao to Emperor Tang Ming, and it was called the 'Five Sons Shou Immortal recipe'. The Emperor of Tang Ming was thirty-three years older than Concubine Yang. He is so prosperous and live to the age of seventy-seven, how can Cao Wenzhao be more valuable than him?"

"Later, a miracle doctor replaced the amla with wolfberry, and the effect of the medicine was even better! I asked my servants to grab a few more, and I can eat some while I'm at it!"

"Why should I eat it?" Zhang Shunxin said: I am so alive and active, why should I eat bird medicine?

"Now that Sanniang and Lady Hong are having a baby, they are pregnant. We are the only ones with no stomach ache. Please take pity on us!" Li Xiang was filled with tears after hearing this.

Well, even if it rains and dews, I still don’t have time to relax!

After waiting for two days, Zhang Shun finally prepared the prescription under Cao Wenzhao's repeated urging, and then notified Cao Wenzhao to pick it up.

As expected, Cao Wenzhao came to Zhang Shun's residence in a hurry, and Zhang handed over a large bag of honey medicine balls and a pillow-like cushion to Cao Wenzhao.

Then, Zhang Shun specifically explained: "This medicine bag must be applied externally at all times, no matter whether you are sitting down or riding a horse, there must be no mistake!"

"Take this pill twice a day with boiled water! Food taboos: spicy food, alcohol and meat, abstain from sexual immorality, abstain from sex! Remember, remember!"

Cao Wenzhao understood clearly and quickly thanked Zhang Shun. He packed the package tightly and sneaked back through the back door.

But not long after Cao Wenzhao returned to his room, he secretly took the medicine and put the medicine bag under his buttocks. Someone had already come to report: "Lv Weiqi, under King Fu, sent someone to invite me. I don't know whether the general saw him or not!"

Cao Wenzhao was so perceptive. Hearing the words, he waved his hand and said: "No, no! Cao has nothing to say to others. If he has something to do, let him come in person and bring the greetings in an upright manner. If not, I forgive Cao for being rude. !”

Just kidding, I'm trying to find a way to have a son, so where can I find the time to talk to you?

Lu Weiqi, the former Minister of War in Nanjing, was shocked when he heard this. He originally thought that Cao Wenzhao was a loyal minister and joining the rebel army was just a temporary measure.

Who would have thought that Cao Wenzhao would be like this? He couldn't help but cursed secretly: "Young Lu Bu, An De is so shameless! Aren't you afraid that Thief Dong will turn against you one day and you will die without a complete body!"

But the gentry on the left and right saw that things were not going well, so they couldn't help but remind them in a low voice: "Lü Shangshu had better be careful. If this person reports Shangshu's thoughts to King Shun, I'm afraid we will all be in trouble!"

"There's no need to be nervous!" Lu Weiqi said with a smile upon hearing this, "This guy is hypocritical, and he always pays attention to the integrity of his actions. As long as he can't use us as an excuse, he will definitely betray King Fu to save face!"

"What's Prince Fu's face worth? A few days ago he was planning to build a 'monument to commemorate the people', but he only let Prince Fu come to watch the ceremony. You can tell how ambitious he is!" Someone heard this and saw it clearly.

"Everyone in the world knows that this person wants to do something reckless! Don't worry, this kid was lucky enough to defeat Governor Chen Qiyu last time. How can the court just let it go?"

"My Ming Dynasty has millions of soldiers, fierce generals like clouds, and counselors like rain. Sooner or later, I will kill this kid under the horse. I have already sent my trusted followers to Shaanxi to find the governor." Hong Chengchou, the military affairs officer of the five provinces of Henan, Shanxi, Shaanxi, Huguang, and Sichuan, contacted He sent troops to Luoyang. When the time comes, when the imperial army arrives, they will all be reduced to powder! "

"Don't talk about that little general Cao Wenzhao, even if he is a 'submissive thief', he will not end well! You will wait and see, when the time comes, you and I will be the heroes of restoring Luoyang City!"