The Death Knell

"Strange, so strange."

A lonely figure wandered the streets of New York in the early morning. He was like a ghost looking for small alleys to crawl into. He also murmured loudly to himself in the air as he walked:

"Old fellows, I just discovered a problem. The invitations I sent to others were all invitations to the engagement party, but how come they turned into invitations to the wedding ceremony when they got it? And the number of guests was wrong. There were too many. Dozens of times better.”

He was confused and wanted to pull handfuls of his hair out, but because of skin cancer, he had no hair and only had a head like a rotten Italian meatball, so that was fine.

The person walking in the darkness was Deadpool. After Captain America was captured by Peggy and Sharon, Deadpool, who had drunk a lot of wine, was completely sleepless. He was bored and decided to patrol the streets like a superhero. lock up.

He is planning to open a small mercenary shop of his own, the kind of shop where as long as you pay money, you can do anything, whether it's killing people or clearing sewers.

But he himself was too low-key in the past. Although he was somewhat famous in the mercenary industry, ordinary people didn't know that. If he wanted to make money from them, he had to create some advertising effect.

It was impossible to spend money on advertising. The money was used to buy a house for Inez. Even the money for today's drink was paid for by the captain, so he thought of a good way to become a vigilante.

If you encounter some big incident during patrol and successfully handle it yourself, it will definitely be on the news, right? Isn’t that free advertising?

Only now there's a problem.

After wandering around various alleys and dark places for two hours, the New York villains seemed to be hibernating tonight and did not appear at all.

Bored, he started chatting with the non-existent audience again, otherwise it would be quite lonely at night.

""The audience interacted.

"That can't be done, my cousin is busy." Deadpool shook his head repeatedly, lifted up his mask and licked his nostrils: "You said that I used the sewer to deliver invitations, which means I used his channels, and he came to steal the sky and change the situation? But where is he? With so much free time, wouldn’t it be said that he went to the parallel world to do big things?”

There was a masked robber robbing a grocery store on the corner of the street. He stole a whole box of slippers, knocked out the store owner with a gun butt, and then fled the scene dragging the box at a turtle-like speed.

Deadpool glanced across the street, shook his head and walked away.

If this matter isn't big enough to make the news, just ignore it.

"" In silence, the barrage began to flow again.

"Oh? He's back? Are you looking for a way to get to a certain point in time?" Deadpool touched his belt, the light bulb above his head turned on, and he started doing radio gymnastics on the spot: "So he's coming to find me? I Let’s do some exercise first. Last time I didn’t warm up enough and strained my groin while doing the splits, which forced me to cut off my own leg.”

Amputating a leg just because of a strain, probably only Deadpool can use this kind of treatment.

But at this moment, he heard the sound of an alarm bell not far away. It was the traditional bell of an anti-theft system. The sound came from the Wilson Department Store building a few streets away.

"Have you transferred to Manhattan without knowing it?" Deadpool lifted his pants, pulled down his mask, and walked over there curiously: "There are really people who are not afraid of death. They even dare to steal from my cousin's store. ?”

I trotted all the way to the front of the building and found that the store door had been violently damaged, as if someone had attacked the door with a battering ram. Not only was the glass shattered all over the floor, but even the titanium alloy anti-theft door frame was deformed.

This theft activity is a bit loud, is it African wild style? Was it done by illegal immigrants?

But those were not important. Deadpool rolled his eyes and he had a good idea.

It has been almost seventy years since its establishment. Wilson Department Store has never lost anything. If it makes an exception today, it will definitely be in the news. So if I help recover the dirty items, will it also be in the news? Woolen cloth?

So he slowed down and sneaked into the commercial building against the wall.

Rolling forward, sliding and crawling, he was like a well-trained agent, carrying out covert operations, targeting the security room.

I'm a little crazy, but not stupid. Let's see where the thieves are first.

He entered the security room in the dark. He first saw a group of unconscious night shift security guards. They were randomly thrown on a small bed. They were obviously knocked unconscious elsewhere. The thieves kindly moved them back here.

"This is the right thing to do. After all, it's almost autumn now and the ground is very cold. It would be bad if these brothers working the night shift catch a cold."

While speaking in the direction of no one, Deadpool walked to a cabinet not far away, took out a blanket, covered these unconscious people, touched his chin and muttered:

"However, this style is not quite like the wild style of African robbery. It is a bit like the British Snitch. It emphasizes that a thief is a good thief, but also has a bit of British black humor. You see, they also give these security guards Wearing makeup.”

He took out a small flashlight and shined it on the faces of the security guards. Every unconscious person had a big smile on his face.

She used too much lipstick, applied it too thickly, and the messy strokes were as exaggerated as if each person vomited several liters of blood, and the lower half of her face was red.

"" Seeing that iconic prank, the barrage interaction became more intense.

Wade, who was bucking his butt while watching the barrage in his mind, was stunned for a moment. He couldn't believe it: "What, you said this is Harley's method, this is Gotham style theft? But when did she come here? How did you Didn’t you say anything?”

A series of question marks seemed to pop up on Deadpool's head. People from D ran to Marvel at will. Is there any way to do this? Are there any laws?

Well, there are really no such provisions in American law. Although New York State law stipulates that you are not allowed to wear slippers after ten o'clock in the evening, it really does not say that you are not allowed to come here.

"Huh? I think I heard someone say my name."

A head suddenly appeared at the door of the security room, shaking wildly like a bobblehead doll, its twin tails spinning like propellers, and its big smile as red as blood in the darkness.

Harley was happy to see it was Deadpool, and she immediately walked in carrying a huge power hammer.

There were many handbags hanging on the handles of the two-handed hammer. She also changed into a red dress and even wore high heels. It was obvious that she had just finished shopping.

Not just her, but also Hela, Daisy, Gwen, and a duck.

Each of the ladies looks like a character from the Gossip Girl TV series, dressed to the nines.

Wearing beautiful new clothes and a lot of sparkling jewelry on their hands and necks, they even got manicures during the robbery. At this time, each of them flexed their hands and fingers, as if they were waiting for nail polish. Let air dry.

The duck is more unlucky. He is obviously the tool man who only carries bags when he goes shopping with the ladies. A lot of shoe boxes and shopping bags are weighing on him, like a clown performing a balancing act in a circus. street.

Wade covered his face. His plan to be on the news was shattered. He sat back on the small bed feebly and fell on the unconscious security guards. His eyes stared blankly at the ceiling in the darkness:

"Robbing your own store, my cousin really lets you play like this, are you all sick?"

"Hehe, what do you think?"